The Thropp Diaries
by denpa wave chick saki
Summary: I'd never admit to doing something as feminine as keeping a diary.  Could you imagine the rumors that would sprout from that?  No, the only reason I'm keeping this is to answer one burning question: why has Miss Galinda been drawing me naked?
1. Entry 1

**Hey, so here't the thing. As I was writing this story, it occurred to me that it was not going in the direction I wanted it to, and that it was seriously drifting off course. So... I'm going to start over and do a better job this time. I apologize to everyone who read the original and reviewed. I really do appreciate it and I hope you enjoy this newer version! Thanks!**

Well… here I am. Shiz University. I thought this would be exciting, but the minute I walked in, everyone looked at me as though I was the foulest creature to ever walk the Land of Oz. Still, I suppose that was to be expected… when one is as green as the grass beneath one's boots. I dealt with the situation in what I believed was the best way possible: I went in stood in the darkest corner I could find. They all soon forgot about me and went back to their no doubt mindless conversations, gossiping about who's who and what the latest fashion was. I scoffed at the sight; humans favor themselves so intelligent, yet we choose the least significant things to discuss with others. Such a waste of our brilliant minds.

It was at this moment that a blonde girl entered… or, more accurately, her luggage entered on a cart, with the girl perched on the top, swinging her legs in a very juvenile way that I suppose she considered cute. Everyone immediately turned their attention to her, which seemed to be her intention. She slid down from the tower of suitcases and was immediately sucked into a conversation with three particularly annoying girls. I rolled my eyes. I could tell already that she was one of the biggest airheads that I had ever seen in my nineteen years of existence.

I took my glasses off and wiped the lenses with my dress, causing everything to become blurry. I set them back on my nose, bringing the world back into focus, and also a woman dressed in extravagant robes. The blonde from earlier seemed to be pleading with her, spinning some story or other about her Ama. I couldn't help but smile slightly at that; the little spoiled rich girl didn't want to share. It reminded me of a comment my elementary teacher had once made to my father about me.

_Does not play well with others._

No, no I did not "play well with others", but that wasn't my fault. What was the harm of me picking up a rock if they all had one too? It was simple logic, really.

"Well, we'll just have to find you a roommate for the time being," the woman, Madame Morrible as she had called herself, said. She looked down at her list of unfortunate names, and I pitied whoever would be called to be—

"Shall I invite the Thropp Third Descending, of Nest Hardings, Elphaba?"

I froze. No… no, I had to have heard that wrong. She did not just call my name, and with such an introduction, as if I was someone important. I would not be subjected to this sort of humiliation, to be forced to room with—

"Elphaba Thropp? Are you here?"

I sighed. Of course. This would happen to me. This was my life. Everyone was looking around the room, trying to figure out who this "Elphaba Thropp" was. Who indeed. The blonde looked especially nervous, and slightly hopeful, as if "Elphaba Thropp" was merely a phantom name on a paper, instead of… well, me. I pushed myself away from the wall with another sigh, reaching down to pick up my beat-up suitcase. I started approaching the two and the others parted, giving me a wide path to follow.

"Born in the Rush Margins, raised in Munchkinland, and I see you spent several years in Quadling Country. How fascinating for all of us," Morrible read. Dear Oz, did she have to tell everyone my life history? No one cared, I'm sure. I hardly cared! Besides, my attention was currently on the blonde, whose expression was changing from one of confusion, to realization, to horrified. I knew what was going through her mind.

_It must be some trick of the light; she can't really be… wait… no… sweet Lurline, she really is green!_

Yes, her face said it all.

"Madame Morrible, I… there must be… my Ama can't…" the blonde stammered.

"Miss Galinda, there is no mistake," Madame Morrible said, grabbing one of my hands in her own. Her other hand grabbed onto Miss Galinda's. "I'm sure you two will get along just fine," she said, bringing our hands together. The minute our flesh made contact, Miss Galinda jumped away from me in repulsion before fleeing, leaving some poor soul to lug her tower of suitcases to her room.

Yes, my stay here at Shiz had already started off wonderfully.

* * *

When I arrived at the room that I would be sharing with Miss Galinda, I found that she had already laid claim to a bed, most likely the more comfortable one. Not that it mattered much to me; luxury was a luxury that I couldn't afford. Miss Galinda herself was nowhere to be found… but her luggage was arriving in waves. I raised an eyebrow, wondering how she was planning to fit everything she owned in our shared space. I turned back to my own suitcase, which I opened gingerly. Had to be careful with this old thing; it was liable to fall apart at any mishandling. I pulled out my clothes, which were none too exciting, but I wasn't an exciting person. Besides, who was there to impress?

I hung my few dresses up in the closet, where they hung limply, looking shapeless and… somewhat sad, I suppose. I turned away from that pitiful sight and back to my suitcase. I pulled out a stack of books… and then another stack, and another. Okay, I admit it! I'm addicted to reading; it's an insatiable appetite, really. The words speak to me, connect with me in a way that I find impossible to do with other living, _breathing _people. I put all my books on the shelves provided before stepping back. Well… that was it. My unpacking was done. I looked back over at Miss Galinda's side, where the blonde was still curiously absent. Oh, well. She would return when she wanted, which may not be ever, based on her reaction to me earlier.

However, I soon discovered that I was incorrect in my assumption. I had just started reading, twirling the same piece of hair around my finger when she entered. I didn't bother to look up; I knew what she looked like well enough. I heard her moving about the room, sighing and making huffy noises occasionally.

"Be careful. I don't know whether this green is contagious or not," I said, my eyes still on the page, but a small grin was creeping across my face. Oh, that was a blatant lie, but if I was going to be forced to live with a woman like Miss Galinda, then I wanted to at least have a little fun.

I could feel her glaring at me and I finally peeked over the top of my book. Oh, she was spitting angry, practically bristling like a wet cat. "Miss Elphaba," she spat out my name like an unappetizing wine, "I would appreciate it if you would spare me your cruel jokes."

I shrugged. "Cruel jokes I will spare you, but I can't guarantee that all jokes will stay away."

Miss Galinda turned away, unlocking her first suitcase and pushing open the lid, revealing enough dresses to clothe every girl in Shiz and beyond, I'm sure. She pulled out the first dress and went to hang it up. She then went back to her suitcase and pulled out the next one, hanging it up as well. This process went on for a while, and while I knew I shouldn't be interested, it was oddly intriguing… and unnerving.

"Miss Galinda, surely you don't intend to hang up every dress that way?" I asked. "Perhaps I could be of some—"

"No, I don't want you touching any of my things with your dirty green hands! You just stay over there."

I raised an eyebrow. "I assure Miss Galinda, my hands are quite clean, unless you have something against my literature."

"I just don't want you touching my clothes, or anything else I own!"

"All right. If you feel so strongly about it, I'll stay in my corner." I looked back down at my book, pushing my glasses back up my nose, as they had been threatening to fall off.

"Good. Just… stay there."

I peered back up at Miss Galinda, trying not to smile. Perhaps this wouldn't be as terrible as I had thought.

A heel was suddenly rocketing at my face and I had to duck quickly to avoid injury. It hit the wall with a decent thud before falling to my bed, harmless. I looked back at Miss Galinda, who had the matching heel in her hand and looked prepared to make contact this time. "Stop staring at me with those emotionless eyes!" she shouted.

"Well, I do apologize, Miss Galinda, but I don't think that's a valid reason to throw footwear at me," I replied, picking up the almost-lethal heel. "Besides, you've caused me to violate one of your rules. I'm touching one of your possessions."

"Give that back to me. It's one of my favorite pairs."

"Perhaps you should have thought of that before you threw it at my head. I don't take kindly to objects that try to injure me, you know."

"Miss Elphaba—"

"Though I may reconsider if you ask… nicely," I said with a wicked grin.

Miss Galinda looked as though she'd like nothing more than to slap me silly… if she weren't afraid of catching my skin condition. "Miss Elphaba, if you would be so kind as to return my heel to me."

"You still haven't said the magic word, Miss Galinda."

"Please," Miss Galinda growled through clenched teeth.

"Well, when you put it like that, what choice to I have but to oblige?" I set my book down as I climbed off of my bed and approached the blonde.

"Stop! That's close enough," Miss Galinda said as she approached me. I stopped in my tracks and the blonde stopped inches before reaching me, glaring up at me as best she could, which was a valiant effort, I had to admit, seeing as I was a full foot taller. She reached for the shoe, which I held just out of her reach. This only seemed to increase her anger with me. "Miss Elphaba."

"Miss Galinda."

The blonde stepped on my foot angrily, but her heels were nothing compared the boots that I always wore. I just grinned, and she repeated the action, stomping harder.

"Miss Galinda, am I to be under the impression that you are trying to inflict pain upon me?"

"Yes, yes you miserable green thing, now give me back what's mine!"

"All right, all right. Calm your little pretty self down." I handed her shoe back to her, which she snatched up angrily before going over to her shoe rack and placing it beside its matching partner with a sigh of content. "Is all now right with the world?" I asked.

Miss Galinda turned to shoot me another glare, and I put my hands in front of me in my defense. "All right, spare me your scathing looks. I'm retreating back to my corner."

"That's the best place for you," Miss Galinda snapped back.

I grinned as I sat on my bed and picked up my book again. "Miss Galinda, I do believe that this arrangement may work out for us."

Her response back to me was another piercing glare and I buried myself back in the relative safety of my book… though the grin was still on my face. There was no doubt in my mind that Miss Galinda hated me… but I would expect no less from a girl like her. And she seemed fun to torment, but I wouldn't call it that. I'd call it… having a little fun. I deserved that much, didn't I?

Minutes ticked by, and they dragged on into hours as Miss Galinda continued to unpack in silence. The sky was growing dark outside and I was forced to light a lamp in order to continue reading.

"Miss Elphaba, I simply can't stand you!"

I looked up. "Did I hear my name?"

Miss Galinda was, surprise, glaring at me again, her delicate hands resting on her equally delicate hips. "How can you torment me the way you did, and then just sit there, reading your… book?"

"Quite easily, it would seem."

She was saying something else now, but I was no longer focusing on her words. My gaze had wandered to the tall shoe rack behind her… and the way it was leaning dangerously forward. Apparently Miss Galinda was not familiar with the idea of balance and proper distribution of weight… and the law of gravity. I considered not telling her and letting her discover it herself (after all, I wanted to see her use that brain for once), but then it started to fall forward… and the blonde was right in its path.

"Miss Galinda—" I started.

"Don't interrupt me! You—"

"NO!" I shouted, jumping to my feet and throwing my arms out. I watched as the rack suddenly stopped in mid-air, mere inches from Miss Galinda's blonde curls. Miss Galinda herself looked confused at my outburst and turned in time to see the rack going back to its original position against the wall. She turned back to face me and I let my arms drop with a sigh.

"Miss Elphaba, why did you do that?"

"I was expecting something more along the lines 'Thank you, Miss Elphaba, for not letting my obnoxiously large shoe rack fall on my empty head'. Then I would have replied, 'Why you're welcome Miss Galinda, but may I suggest you touch up a bit in the subject of physics?'"

Miss Galinda bristled at that, but didn't say anything else. "I'm going to change into my nightclothes."

"All right. Thank you for sharing."

Miss Galinda disappeared into the bathroom and I lowered my book, waiting until the door closed before I got off the bed. I might as well take this opportunity to change into my own nightclothes. I decided on a drab brown nightdress and pulled off the navy blue dress I was wearing. I stretched my arms up above my head, my skin pulling taut against my ribs and making them even more prominent. I sighed, lowering my arms. I slipped into my nightdress and turned to return to my bed when I saw the blonde standing in the bathroom doorway… staring at me with a strange look on her face that I couldn't read.

"Can I help you, Miss Galinda?" I asked.

"You… you don't wear a bra?"

"Were you staring at me while I was dressing?"

"Miss Elphaba, that's… indecent!"

"Miss Galinda, you don't wear a tie."

"Wh- well I have no need for one!"

"Exactly. Do you see the connection I'm making here?"

Miss Galinda stomped over to her bed before she climbed in, pulling the blankets over her and lying down without so much as a good night. I shook my head before climbing into bed myself, looking back down at my book.

"Would you mind putting out that light?" I heard Miss Galinda call.

"Yes, I would mind, but thank you for asking."

I heard her sigh in frustration and shift in her bed.

All in all, a decent first night.

* * *

When I awoke the next morning, I sat up, stretching. I reached for my glasses, which I had placed on my bedside table before falling asleep last night. My hand hit the table and I groped around for while before I made an interesting, and slightly disturbing, discovery: my glasses were gone. I squinted at the table, barely able to make it out, my hand still wandering, but my glasses were nowhere to be found. Strange… I could have sworn I had set them here last night.

"Miss Galinda? Have you seen my glasses?" I called, hoping she was in the room. I squinted towards the direction of her bed, but didn't see any movement, blurry or otherwise. I got out of bed, only to trip over my boots and come crashing down to the floor. I turned over onto my back with a low growl, giving my boots a kick before I stood up. I could dress without my glasses, but getting to class… well, it wouldn't be ideal. I went over to my closet and pulled out the same navy dress I had been wearing yesterday… at least I think that's what I pulled out. I slipped out of my nightclothes and into the dress before I put on the very boots that had tripped me. My next task was to get to Crage Hall, which I'm sure would be, in the nicest terms, "an adventure".

I stumbled towards the door and managed to get out… but the stairs, I wasn't ready for. One step, two steps, and down I went, tumbling all the way to the bottom and landing on my back. I grit my teeth as my body throbbed slightly, but I couldn't lie here forever; I had to get to class. I forced myself to my feet and put my hands against the wall to help guide me along as I walked. Having a wall to guide me was all fine and dandy, until I got outside and found myself stranded. I squinted in the direction that I thought Crage Hall was in and I started walking, doing my best not to run into or trip over anything. Thankfully I made it to the building without any mishaps and found that I had, in fact, guessed correctly. Inside, I could hear the others talking about which classes that had that day, and how their professors would be, but I couldn't make out anyone or anything. Still, I knew that my presence had not gone unnoticed as a strange sort of hush fell over the students nearest me. Yes, I suppose I didn't blend in as well with the others.

I could hear whispering coming from my right side, but I ignored it as I started walking again, doing my best to avoid running into other students. This turned out to be fairly simple, as they all moved out of my way, not wanting to be brushed up against by my scaly greenness. I felt my boot hit something and I squinted again. Ah. More stairs. How simply wonderful. At least this time I had a handrail to help guide me up to the third floor, where my classroom was… except that when I got there, I couldn't tell the room numbers apart.

"You appear to be lost," I heard a voice say. I turned towards in the direction I heard it coming from and found myself looking at… well, not a human, I could tell that much.

"I… I seemed to have misplaced my glasses," I replied. "I'm trying to find Dr. Dillamond's classroom."

"I see. Allow me to lead you there."

I took the arm that was offered to me and felt fur under my hand. So I was right; this person was an Animal. He led me into a classroom and I made my way to a seat in the back of the room, where I could sulk, if I felt so inclined. Soon enough, students started to trickle in, bringing their mindless gossip with them. Not that I cared to listen in on any of their conversations. I just pulled a book from my bag and made myself comfortable, only to be harshly reminded that I did not have the means to read at the moment. I sighed and closed the book, setting it on my desk. I looked towards the front of the room, but only to distract my attention away from the other students. It wasn't like I could actually see anything.

Soon enough, Dr. Dillamond, who was the Goat that had led me here, started his lecture, and he had only been talking for about five minutes before someone entered the room, distracting him from the board he had been gesturing to.

"Miss Glinda, is it?" Dr. Dillamond said.

"It's _Ga_linda," the blonde replied, obviously irked that the Goat had gotten her name wrong. Hmm… I would have to remember that.

"Yes, well, you're late."

"Fashionably late!"

"Yes… please take a seat."

Miss Galinda chose to sit in the front of the room with what appeared to be other girls, but they were all still blurs to me.

"Now then, who can tell me what started the chain of events that led to—"

My hand was already in the air. Maybe I couldn't see, but by Oz, I could still hear, which meant I could still answer questions.

"Yes, Miss…"

"Elphaba, sir," I said, lowering my hand. "The Great Drought."

"The Great Drought indeed. Very good." The Goat turned back to his teachings, but I do believe that at that moment, Miss Galinda was looking back at me. Of course, I did not have the pleasure of seeing the look she was wearing; I'll bet she hadn't even noticed I was here until I had said something, but I saw her soon face forward again and the obvious realization hit me like a slap in the face. My glasses hadn't just disappeared, and I hadn't misplaced them. Miss Galinda had been so kind as to take them herself, a sort of payback for the shoe incident last night. So, this was the way she wanted it then, was it? Well, all was fair in love and war of course, but I did think it decent to at least warn the blonde what she would be in for.

Many unintelligent responses later (my favorite coming from my own Miss Galinda and her remark to Dr. Dillamond to "stop harping on the past and teach us history") the class came to an end, and the other students left much more quickly than they had entered. As I approached the front of the room slowly, I noticed that Miss Galinda seemed to be having some issues with her bag and whatever ridiculous item she was trying to fit in it. I moved so that I was right behind her, my presence still unknown.

"You're treading into dangerous water," I said in a low voice.

Miss Galinda whipped around and I took a step back. "Are you threatening me?"

"Miss Galinda, I wouldn't dream of doing that. I'm just giving you fair warning," I replied, holding out my hand.

"Surely you don't think you can scare me into giving you money, Miss Elphaba?"

"I'm sure I could if I wanted to, but right now, that is not my interest. I am more concerned with the fact that my glasses seemed to have disappeared, and I assume not of their own free will."

Miss Galinda didn't reply, and I cackled. "Oh yes, I know all about your meager act of revenge and I have to admit that practically blinding me was clever, but should something happen to me because of this, I'd hate to see you blamed."

Miss Galinda didn't look happy in the slightest, but she had to admit defeat and took the eyewear from her bag, but she didn't give place it in the hand that I so generously had open for her. She instead extended her arm to its fullest length above her head, obviously trying to do to me what I had done to her before. However, it appeared that Miss Galinda did not fully understand that this could only work for tall people such as myself. I was able to easily reach up and pluck my glasses from her delicate hand, and I grinned as I placed them back where they belonged, instantly bringing my world back into focus.

"Ah, it is you Miss Galinda. How nice to be able to see your pretty face once again."

"You and I will never again speak in public. I will not be associated with a green bean like you!" Miss Galinda said angrily before she swung her bag extravagantly over her shoulder. But, like the airhead she was, she had forgotten that it wasn't closed, and thus all her belongings went clattering to the floor in a flurry of papers and make-up.

"Perhaps you should spend less time focusing on me and more on your surroundings," I remarked as I kneeled down to help her pick up her things. It earned me a scowl, but Miss Galinda didn't reply as she gathered up a trio of pencils. I went to retrieve some papers that had drifted under Dr. Dillamond's desk, and when I extracted them, I found that they were pencil drawings. One was of a cat sitting on a windowsill, its chest muscles prominent and its gaze on some unknown object. The second was of an orchid, just coming into bloom.

"These are very impressive, Miss Galinda. Tell me, did you draw them yourself?" I asked, standing up. If so, then perhaps Miss Galinda did know how to use her brain, to some extent.

"Give those back!" Miss Galinda said frantically. Her tone told me that she didn't want me to look, but my interest was piqued now. She came at me and I just held the papers above my head, high above her reach. I flipped to the next picture and saw the reason of her resistance.

"Well, well, well, Miss Galinda. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the woman in this drawing is me."

It was obvious that the drawing was of me; I could tell by the way my shoulders and back muscles looked when I stretched my arm above my head, my other hand grasping my raised arm. It must have been how she had seen me last night while I was undressing. Either that, or she had a great imagination.

Miss Galinda was stomping on my foot again and I decided that enough was enough. I handed her the drawings back, which she hastily stuffed into her bag, making sure that it was properly closed this time.

"Pray tell, Miss Galinda, why you chose to draw me," I prodded, but the blonde was hurrying from the room, leaving my question to hang out in the open, unanswered.

* * *

Now that my glasses had been returned to me, I was able to move about Shiz much easier and appreciate its beauty. During my lunch break, I chose to sit outside under an apple tree, leaning against its strong trunk with a book in my hand. Having finished my apple, I gnawed on the core as my eyes flashed across the pages, almost unable to keep up with my brain's growing appetite for the words. Sudden giggles floating on the wind caught my attention and I wouldn't have bothered to look up if I hadn't caught the words "green bean" and "prank". Well, that certainly got my attention and as much as I didn't want to, I tore my eyes away from the book, where they fell on that group of three annoying girls… plus Miss Galinda made four.

"It seems awfully cruel," Miss Galinda was saying. Aww, how sweet. She was looking out for my well-being. "I approve." Oh, scratch that. I reminded myself to stuff her pillow with garlic after class.

"Perfect! All you have to do is lure her out and—"

Their eyes fell on me, and my own dark eyes narrowed, letting them know that I had heard their conversation. Miss Galinda turned away from me sharply, her nose up in the air with a sense of dignity as she and the others walked off. I tossed my apple core aside as I stood, mentally marking my page as I stood. It was clear that there was more to Miss Galinda than meets the eye of the beholder… now about that garlic…

* * *

The minute her head hit the pillow, she let out a shriek that brought an inevitable grin to my face.

"Miss Elphaba, what is this?" she screamed, her eyes streaming with involuntary tears as she tore her pillow from the bed.

"That is a pillow, Miss Galinda."

The blonde gave it a shake and several cloves of garlic hit our carpet. "And what is that?"

"Well, considering the fact that there are more than one, those _are_ cloves of garlic. Quite potent, wouldn't you say?"

Miss Galinda glared at me, which was becoming quite common these days, before she went to her closet and extracted a new, fresh pillow. She returned to her bed, setting the pillow in its proper place, but she didn't climb back in. No, she instead scooped the garlic up off the floor and started to pelt me with it.

"Oh, Miss Galinda, really! It was a joke!" I said, trying to use my book to defend myself because Oz, Miss Galinda could _throw_! "Besides, I heard you and your friends talking about some cruel prank you're planning to play on me!"

"That's different!" Miss Galinda said. "That was a private conversation, and I hadn't even done anything to you yet!"

"You stole my glasses!"

"You wouldn't give me my shoe!" Miss Galinda had run out of ammunition, and breath as well. She straightened up and brushed back a few strands of golden hair that had fallen out of place during her unladylike performance. "Anyway, I'm going to bed and if you know what's good for you, you'll leave me alone from now on!"

"You're assuming I know good from bad, and right from wrong. It's a question of morals, really."

Miss Galinda was already lying with her back to me, signaling that all conversation was to cease. I grinned and returned to my book.

* * *

_I'd never admit to doing something as feminine as keeping a diary. Could you imagine the rumors that would sprout if it ever got out? Oz, I'd be ruined! No, the only reason I'm keeping this is to answer one burning question: why has Miss Galinda been drawing me naked?_

**I really hope that I did Elphaba justice… well, as usual, any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!**

**denpa wave chick saki**


	2. Entry 2

The next morning, my hand instantly flew to my bedside table and I felt it hit my glasses. That was a good sign indeed. I picked them up and placed them on my nose, bringing Miss Galinda into focus. She was lying in her bed, propped up onto her left side, her right hand holding a pencil that was moving swiftly across the paper. Her eyes flashed towards me and her hand froze.

"Good morning Miss Galinda. I trust you slept well?" I said, sitting up.

"I'll never sleep well, knowing you're in the same room," Miss Galinda replied.

"I'm sorry to hear that I bother you so." My eyes fell on the paper in her hand again. "Are you by any chance—"

"No," Miss Galinda said quickly, turning the paper over and putting her arm on it.

I raised an eyebrow at the quick reaction. "Do you have a guilty conscience, Miss Galinda?"

"No! Do you?"

My head tilted back as I laughed. "Of course I do. Remember who you're addressing." I got off my bed and went over to my closet, looking at the limp dresses inside. I considered wearing the same navy dress, but… I had worn that two days in a row now. I examined the next dress, which was an awful red color. I hated wearing red; every time I did, someone always made some crack about Lurlinemas. The only other dress I had was gray, and somewhat depressing. I sighed and pulled out the red dress. It couldn't be helped. I turned back around and found that Miss Galinda was looking through her closet as well, though I was surprised she didn't become lost in the sea of fabric and ruffles.

"Miss Galinda, I am going to be changing now. Would you like me to pose a certain way for you this time?" I asked.

Miss Galinda ignored me, but I knew that her face was most likely turning the same shade of pink as the dress she was currently examining. I cackled before pulling off my nightclothes and slipping into the red dress. I sat down on my bed as I pulled my first boot on, my long fingers doing up the laces nimbly.

"That dress looks absolutely horrid on you, Miss Elphaba," I heard Miss Galinda say. "And you always wear those awful boots."

I looked up at her. "This is what I have. I'm sorry if it offends."

"Obviously your parents must not care about you enough to provide you with decent clothing. You might as well be wearing a burlap sack."

That did not sit well with me. Now she was getting personal. "Miss Galinda, I'll have you know that my father does love me. He may not show it the way your parents do, by showering me with gifts, but he loves me nonetheless. He taught me how to read and write and most importantly, how to think for myself."

"Perhaps, but all that won't help your appearance."

"There is more to life than just having a pretty face. My father taught me that one does not need material possessions to be happy."

Miss Galinda just scoffed at that.

"Do you find that amusing?"

"Yes. What does your mother say about all this?"

Now she was bringing up a very sensitive subject. "I wouldn't know."

"What does that me—"

I picked up my bag and left the room right in the middle of her sentence. I had no desire to share my personal life with Miss Galinda, and I wouldn't give her ammunition to gossip about me, which I'm sure she did plenty enough already. I didn't like to think about my family life myself, but Miss Galinda had no right to assume that my father hated me just because I didn't have the wide array of outfits to choose from that she did. There were other ways… other ways to show someone you loved them. My family was proof of that.

* * *

My first class of the morning was Introduction to Sorcery, taught by Madame Morrible herself. As usual, I took up a seat in the back of the room and started to read. My ears soon picked up the familiar sound of Miss Galinda's voice, as well as one of her friends'. I suppose that she had learned from her mistake and scanned the room this time, looking for me. I felt her eyes on me, but I didn't look up. I tormented her enough, and I told myself to respect her "request" of not associating with me in public. Her eyes soon left me and only then did I allow myself to take a peek over the top of my book. She was sitting in the front of the room again, with the girl who called herself Miss Pfannee. They were going on about some subject or other; I didn't care to find out what exactly, but they were certainly talking loud enough, so I was going to find whether I wanted to or not.

"But Miss Galinda, however did you stop it from falling?"

"Well, I managed to turn just in the nick of time and I threw my arms out, stopping the rack before it could fall. I then guided it back against the wall."

"Why didn't you just let it fall on the vegetable? We'd be rid of her by now!"

"Miss Pfannee, do you know how exceedingly difficult it is to get blood out of carpet? I didn't want to deal with that."

That's strange. I remembered that incident completely differently. Her "power" sounded an awful lot like mine, and oh wait. I do believe she was _lying_ to enhance her own image. How shocking! How _un_expected! I'm sure the blonde would have continued her fantastical tale, but at that moment, Madame Morrible came walking in, her robes billowing behind her.

"Good morning, students. Quiet down and face your attention forward," she said. "Now, if you'll turn to chapter one in your textbooks, we can begin."

* * *

After class, I hung around, putting on the pretense that I was loading my books into my bag with some difficulties. I waited until Madame Morrible left before slinging my bag over my shoulder as I approached the blonde.

"Well, Miss Galinda, why haven't you told me about your sorcery powers before?" I asked, grinning at her. "Remind me again who was standing where when that shoes rack fell over?"

The blonde didn't reply, but just crossed her arms. "Just… don't talk to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot about the no interaction rule."

"You know, you should be thankful that I'm the one who got stuck with you as a roommate!"

"Oh, really? I'd love to hear the logic behind this."

"Well, you're green for Lurline's sake! You… don't have any friends, everyone talks about you behind your back, and if I were anyone else, you would be miserable right now!"

"Would I now?"

"Yes, because I took pity on you, which I am sorely regretting now!"

"Miss Galinda—"

"I'm done!" The blonde stormed out of the room, leaving me with nothing but a raised eyebrow and more than a few questions.

* * *

_My Dear Father,_

_There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz. Yes, there's been some confusion for you see my roommate is… blonde. Miss Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands to be exact. It never occurred to me that we would ever be roommates, but here we are. She is my complete opposite, but then again, I seem to oppose everyone, don't I? Whenever I look at her, this strange feeling comes over me. It's so sudden and… new. This feeling that I have towards her… does it have a name? Yes. Yes, I believe it does. Loathing. Unadulterated loathing. There are a lot of things about her that annoy and disturb me, one of the most prominent being her voice. Everything about her… just makes my flesh crawl in an unnatural way. She says she pities me… and you know how I can't stand be pitied. Anyway, I only have to live with her for this semester and then we will be free to change rooms. Though I do admit, this feeling came on fast, I do believe that it will last and I will be loathing her my whole life long._

_Other than that obvious problem, I believe that my stay here at Shiz will be good for me. Besides the education I'll receive, I believe that being here may help me to… well, this may sound a little cliché, but it may help me find out who I really am, and where I belong in this world. I know that my… condition may impede me, as it always has, but… I can move past it. I have to, and hopefully being here will help me with that._

_Well, I must end this letter now. My aforementioned roommate is coming and if she looks over my shoulder and sees what I've written about her, she'll be less than happy. Tell Nessa and Shell that I love them, and I miss them very much._

_Your daughter,_

_Elphaba_

When I turned around, I saw that Miss Galinda's Ama, whom she had been spinning some tale about to Madame Morrible yesterday, had arrived, one of her feet bandaged and looking to be about three times its normal size.

"I am just happy as cheese to be your Ama as well, it don't matter to me," she said, giving me a broad grin. I didn't appreciate being patronized, which was obviously what she was doing, so instead of replying, I folded my letter and put in into an envelope, sealing it. I stood up and left the room just as Miss Galinda entered, casting me a glare, which I choose to conveniently ignore.

"Ama, are you blind? That Munchkinlander girl is _green_!" I heard Miss Galinda hiss. I paused. Gossip was the last thing I wanted to hear, but I was curious as to how her Ama would reply now that I was gone.

"Yes, I thought all Munchkinlanders were short, but she's a proper height."

Proper height? I was taller than every other girl here, and some of the boys!

"Oh, does the green bother you? Well, it night do you some good, if you let it."

"I don't need a lecture, Ama Clutch!"

"You got into this mess by your lonesome. I am merely being of service."

I smiled to myself before I started walking. I could only imagine how Miss Galinda had taken that. She didn't appear like the type who liked to be told what to do, especially when it concerned a certain green woman, namely myself. And to have it come from her own Ama… well, I suppose she was our Ama now. It was strange: all my life, I had learned how to take care of myself, and my younger siblings. Even when my mother was alive, it had still been up to me to watch out for my own well-being. To have someone such as an Ama watching out for me now… I had a feeling I wouldn't have much need for her.

I arrived at the mailroom and approached the mail counter, where one woman was sitting, her gaze down.

"Can I get a stamp for this?" I asked, setting my letter down.

The woman looked up and gave a small scream.

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm green. The stamp?"

"Um…" The woman fumbled around for a bit before she found the stamp and placed it on the counter. "That… that will be forty-two cents."

I handed over the money before I took the stamp, placing it on my letter and then dropping it into the box labeled "Outgoing Mail". I could still feel the woman staring at me, but when I turned back around, she quickly looked back down, as though she had never been staring at me in the first place. People were never as sneaky as they thought they were. I could have heckled her; I could have made some cynical remark, but I chose to just let it go and left the mailroom without another word.

When I arrived back at our room, I found that Miss Galinda and her Ama were both absent, which was fine with me. I started to move towards my bed, perhaps to pick up a book and start reading as I was accustomed to doing, but I never made it to my bed. My eyes fell on a piece of paper sticking out from under Miss Galinda's pillow. It would be wrong to pry, but… well, I was a curious person. I approached her bed and grasped the edge of the paper, pulling it our from under the pillow gently. I saw that it was another drawing, but it didn't look finished. Despite that though, I could still tell that it was me, except in this one, I was asleep, one hand under my pillow and… could that be a peaceful look on my face?

The door to our room suddenly banged open, startling me. I dropped the drawing and it flipped lazily in the air once before it fell back onto Miss Galinda's frilly pink comforter. I looked up and saw the blonde standing in the doorway, her gaze narrowing as it fell on me.

"I thought I made it quite clear that you were to never touch any of my possessions," she said.

"Would you like to explain why you find me such a fascinating subject to draw?"

"Would you like to explain why you can't follow simple instructions?" Miss Galinda shot back, snatching the paper from my hand so sharply that it left me with a paper cut. I scowled at her before retreating to my side of the room. I grabbed a book off my shelf and started to read, focusing only on tuning out the blonde, but that didn't sit well with Miss Galinda.

"Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you!" she said, moving quickly and snatching the book from my hands before retreating to her side of the room. "You'd better start listening when I lay down rules."

"Miss Galinda, correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as though you are threatening me."

"I'm just trying to give you fair warning, Miss Elphaba."

I shook my head. "Miss Galinda, what could you possibly do to—"

"I will tear your precious book apart, page by page."

She wouldn't. "You shouldn't destroy fine literature just because—"

She opened the book, grabbing the first page and ripping it slowly from the book, letting it float to the ground. The sound of tearing paper was painful to hear and I winced, trying not to let it show. "Miss Galinda, this is highly—" She ripped another page out and my hands twitched angrily. "I think you—" Another page on the ground, and I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop it!" I leapt at her and she jumped out of the way.

"Not until you agree to respect my space and keep away from my things!"

"Give it back!"

"No!"

I chased her around the room for a few seconds before she managed to get to the bathroom and lock herself inside, leaving me to crash into the closed door. I pounded on it angrily. "Miss Galinda, you'd better stop defacing my property, or I swear to Oz, I will personally rip every dress of yours apart, seam by seam!" I heard the sound of ripping paper again and I grit my teeth. She had me by the balls, for lack of a better phrase. "Fine, fine! I won't go on your side of the room anymore!"

"And my possessions?"

"They will never be touched by green hands again."

"You'd better mean that, Miss Elphaba!"

"Yes, yes, just stop ripping pages out of my book!"

There were a few moments of silence before she unlocked the door and emerged, thrusting the book into my chest roughly. "I'll hold you to your word, Miss Elphaba."

I glared at her as she passed by me, which was a change of roles for us. I looked down at my book with a sigh before I stooped down, picking up the fallen pages and tucking them back into my book gently. It killed me to see someone show such disrespect for literature, and I was very tempted to go through with my threat of tearing apart the blonde's dresses. Still, I knew that wouldn't solve anything, so I suppressed that destructive urge as I gingerly placed the casualty of our war back on my shelf. I had a feeling it would not be the last.

* * *

Miss Galinda and I didn't communicate much after that. I respected her "rules" and didn't give her more than a few seconds of my time. It didn't matter to me; she and I were perfectly happy like this. Her Ama paid little attention to me as well, which suited me just fine. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

A week passed in this manner, and one Friday afternoon, I entered our room to find Miss Galinda sitting on her bed, removing her obnoxiously sparkly heels with a wince. I did my best to keep my face emotionless, instead of grinning, which was what I wanted to do. She had complained about my boots, but at least I wasn't the one sitting on my bed, removing them with pain.

"I'm going to wash up now. Don't peek in on me," I said, removing my own boots.

"Don't flatter yourself," the blonde spat, not even casting her sapphire eyes up at me.

I headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I pulled my dress over my head before I set it on the toilet, along with my undergarments and stockings. I looked into the mirror, my equally green reflection gazing back at me. I stooped down and opened the cabinets, chuckling softly when I saw how Miss Galinda's items crowded the space. My own bottle of oil was pushed way into the back, forcing me to really reach for it. Eventually, I managed to get it and I pulled it free, causing a small avalanche of shampoo bottles and moisturizers. I set my bottle on the counter before cramming all the fallen soldiers back in the space, quickly shutting the door before they could fall out again. I stood up and picked up my bottle, stepping into the shower so as to save the floor in case of drippings. I opened the bottle and poured some oil into my hand before I started to rub it into my skin.

All right, I'll admit, I don't use water to wash up. I can't. A severe allergy to the liquid leaves me with burns if I touch it, so I have to resort to other measures, hence the oil, which I was currently rubbing into my concave stomach. My fingers passed over my naval, brushing against the small piercing. Honestly, I don't know why I got that part of my body pierced; I don't really remember when it happened. I was grateful that it was small at least, instead of something big and gaudy. I replaced the oil store in my hand as I moved down onto my legs, my fingers making small circles as I massaged my calves. I leaned back against the tile, closing my eyes with a sigh.

There was a sudden knock on the door and I opened my eyes. "I thought you said you were just washing up."

"I am," I replied.

"Miss Elphaba, if you're going to go into the bathroom to… do whatever it is you do, at least have the decency to turn on the water and pretend as thought you're actually doing what you said."

I raised an eyebrow. What in Oz's name did she think I was doing? It didn't matter; I had spent long enough in here. I stepped out of the shower and slipped into my nightdress before exiting the bathroom.

"You're already putting your nightdress on?" Miss Galinda said as I moved to sit on my bed, jack-knifing myself in the corner as I grabbed a book.

"I'm not planning on going back out tonight," I replied, opening my book and beginning to read.

"Hello, duckies," Ama Clutch said, coming into the room. "Miss Elphaba, why are you already in your nightdress?"

I shrunk down behind my book.

"She's not going out tonight, which is just like her," Miss Galinda said. "Come, let's leave the vegetable to her books."

"Galinda, really. I'm sure Miss Elphaba would enjoy being with the others—"

"Thank you, but I'd really rather not. Miss Galinda's comment does not phase me in the slightest," I said. I was perfectly able to stick up for myself, thank you very much.

"Miss Elphaba, are you sure?"

"Yes, thank you, now go have fun and do whatever it is you do on outings such as tonight. I'll be perfectly content to sit her and read myself into a stupor."

Miss Galinda was already halfway out the door, all too eager to go out and leave me behind, Ama Clutch following a few moments later. I suppose it was kind of the older woman to try and think of me in the way that she did, but still, it was a kindness that I did not need. A pity kindness, really, and as I had stated before, pity was one of my pet peeves. I could not stand to be pitied. I was green, not handicapped. I didn't need that gesture of faux good will.

* * *

"… and she's so small, she can't even wear a bra!"

This sent the group into another wave of laughter, which I did my best to ignore and I grabbed a cup and approached the coffee machine. It appears as though Miss Galinda had once again been gossiping about me last night (and this morning). Well, what a pity that I hadn't gone out with her last night, now wasn't it?

"It looks like Lurlinemas came early this year!" I heard one of them shout. There it was. I had been waiting to hear one of those jokes, considering the fact that this was the second time I was wearing my red dress. I continued to ignore them as I filled my cup with the brown liquid. All I had to do was finish here and then I could leave, retreating back to the relative safety of my room… well, at least until Miss Galinda decided to return.

"Look at her tawdry dresses. I thought the Thropp family had some wealth, but our Miss Elphaba doesn't have two pennies to rub together to her name," I heard one of them say, I didn't care to distinguish who it was.

"Perhaps it's a kind of religious calling? A chosen poverty?"

This caused them to burst out into another wave of laughter, which in turn caused everyone in the room to turn and look at them, with some jealousy I suppose. I clenched my coffee cup tightly at that comment, but I forgot that the cup was not ceramic, as I had thought, but paper. It crushed in my hand, causing scalding hot coffee to spill out all over my hand. I jerked my hand away, letting out a hiss of pain, the coffee burning almost as much as water did.

This did not go unnoticed, however; in fact, it caused the four to break out into louder peals of laughter. I decided then that I really did not want coffee; I just wanted to retreat to my room, away from these laughing gossipers. I left the buttery, their laughter still ringing in my ears, but it didn't matter. I was already planning my next act of revenge against Miss Galinda... yes, I was formulating a nice little plan for the blonde.

* * *

_Having people laugh at me is nothing new. People have pointed, teased, and laughed my entire life. A person can only take so much abuse before they finally do one of two things: they succumb to the pressure… or they just stop feeling. So, go ahead and laugh all you want, girlies. You will never break me._


	3. Entry 3

I chose to spend my lunch break alone once again, with only my book for company. Today, I had decided to sit by one of the tall imposing statues of some courageous man in some war time doing what men of his rank did best: pose. I was making my way over there at that very moment, deeply into my book when a sudden sound caught my attention. It sounded like something on wheels was wildly out of control. I looked up just in time to see a cart coming right for me. I dived out of the way, dropping my book in the process. I turned back, an angry glare on my face as the cart came to a stop, and a saw a boy sitting in it, his feet up on the side.

"So, this is Shiz then? It looks like it won't take me long to blow this joint," he said.

"But Master Fiyero, your parents—"

"Master Fiyero is it?" I said, approaching him. He looked at me with mild interest, which only frustrated me more. "Is this how you go about life? Running over people to get ahead?"

"It wasn't my fault. Perhaps my friend here saw green… and thought it meant go."

I could feel my anger welling up as a smug grin spread across his stupid face. I had heard bad jokes before, but something about this Master Fiyero and the way he was looking at me, all smug and such… well, I suppose I had just had enough. So, I punched him, right in his Ozdamn face, knocking him from his cart.

"Anything else you'd like to say to me, Master Fiyero?" I growled.

"Miss Elphaba!" I heard a voice shout, and a hand was suddenly grabbing my arm. I turned to see that it was Miss Galinda, and she looked horrified. "Why did you do that? What did he do to you?"

"The same thing everyone else does to me!" I shouted back before I yanked my arm away and stalked off, leaving Miss Galinda behind to help the jackass to his feet.

* * *

Needless to say, my encounter with Master Fiyero spread quickly and now there were even more rumors about me.

"_Don't make the green bean mad, she'll turn on you in a second!"_

"_Want to see the vegetable go rotten? Just get on her bad side."_

Yes, I was really making a name for myself here at Shiz University. And while Master Fiyero and I were far from friends, Miss Galinda seemed to be right up his alley. He had only been here a few hours, and they were already together. A couple. The way they fawned over each other made me feel nauseous, and if I weren't already green, well… you get the picture.

I was currently sitting in my afternoon class, my fingers drumming on the desk in frustration because I had realized that I had left my book back at the scene of the… incident.

"No, you're perfect!"

"No, you are!"

Oh, no. Please, Oz, no! I looked up and saw Miss Galinda and her new suitor entering the room, which caused me to let out an involuntary groan. I couldn't help it! This would be a nightmare! Honestly, this would become a reoccurring stress dream for me, I just knew it. I could barely stand one of them alone; how would I survive the two of them in the same room? I slumped down further in my seat with a sigh. It would be a long semester...

A piercing scream filled the room, causing me to sit up straight. I saw Miss Galinda jumping from her seat as she threw her purse halfway across the room.

"What's wrong?" Master Fiyero asked.

"There… there was something in my purse! It was icky and… green!"

Why? Why did people say green with such disdain? Was it really such a bad color? Or did I give it that negative connotation? In that case, I apologize, green, for making everyone look down on you like this.

Master Fiyero stood up and went to retrieve Miss Galinda's purse. He picked it up and looked inside, reaching his hand in.

"Look, Galinda, it's just a little tree frog," he said, revealing the small amphibian in his hand.

"Get it away from me!"

"It won't hurt you. It's harmless."

"Put it outside, Fiyero!"

The prince complied and Miss Galinda turned in my direction angrily, but I was in the process of examining a loose seam on my dress. I couldn't imagine why she thought it was me; I was just the green vegetable who sat in the back of the room and read herself into a stupor. What could I possibly have to do with a frog being in Miss Galinda's purse? Honestly, the nerve of some people.

* * *

It was rather late that same night that I found myself still reading by dim candlelight, which I was sure was about to go out at any minute. I looked at the candle, and its withering height. How much life is like a candle. It starts off strong and bright, full of potential. But, slowly, the beauty melts away and everything starts to come in on itself. The closer it reaches its end, the faster time flies, until finally, the thing that was once so full of potential is now reduced to a dim shadow of its former glory, left to wallow in self-pity and "what ifs".

That was a sign that I had been reading far too long. I closed my book and set it on my desk, slipping my hand under my glasses as I rubbed my tired eyes. I heard the door open and I lowered my hand as I looked up, not surprised to see that it was Miss Galinda. I hadn't been expecting anyone else.

"Oh, you're still awake?" she said. I listened for the disdain in her voice, but found none. She sounded tired.

"When I become lost in the pages of my books, time escapes me. To the world, I am asleep, awake only in the universe created by the words on the pages. So, you tell me Miss Galinda: am I still awake? Or, perhaps, could it be you who is asleep, and you are only dreaming that I am awake? Perhaps we are both asleep and merely sharing the same dream in which we are still awake."

"You're infuriating," was Miss Galinda's response. She threw something at me, which I caught clumsily. "You left that outside earlier, though after that remark, I should have thrown it in the fireplace."

"I appreciate your decision to throw it at me instead," I said, placing the book back in its spot on the shelf. "Now all is right with the world once more."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be green."

"Miss Galinda, have you no vision? Perhaps it is you who is of a different color, and I am merely representing a race that has long since past us. Perhaps I am all that is left of the humans that once were, humans that were neither Animals nor animals. Who is to say?"

"Good night, Miss Elphaba," the blonde said firmly.

I grinned. "Good night. Fresh dreams."

* * *

Now that Miss Galinda was occupying her time with her new boyfriend, I became nothing more than the green bean in the corner. She left me alone and no words were exchanged between us, behind closed doors or not. Her Ama had apparently given up on me as well, as she stopped asking me to go out on their Friday night escapades.

Autumn froze into winter, which somewhat displeased me. Not because of the cold; I was used to that, but because winter brought storms, and storms brought rain. I had methods for protection against the rain, of course, but still… it was torture to always have to fear what would happen if I forgot, or if a storm suddenly snuck up on me.

One night, a particularly mean storm was brewing, so I started a fire in the fireplace, which cast a warming glow throughout the room, leaving me with a feeling of coziness. I grabbed a book from my desk, which I had only just checked out this morning, sat on my bed, and began reading by the fire's light. The apple I had snuck from the dining hall had been finished long ago, leaving me to just chew on the core as my eyes flashed across the pages, my dark hair hanging down like brackets on either side of my face.

"Well, you look cozy enough."

Without looking up, I knew it was Miss Galinda. It was odd for her to be back this early, and it was one of the first social remarks she had made to me in three months.

"Looks are only looks," I replied, not looking up. I heard taking her coat and shoes off and her light footsteps across the room.

"Will it disturb you if I sit in front of the fire?"

"You cast a shadow if you sit just there."

"Oh, sorry." Her tone told me she wasn't sorry at all. "Mustn't cast shadows when urgent words are waiting to be read."

I wasn't really listening, having dived back into the pages of my book, so I gave her no reply.

"What the dickens are you reading night and day?"

I finally looked up. "While I don't read the same thing every day, you know, right now I'm reading the speeches of early unionist fathers."

"Why ever would anyone want to read that?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if I want to read them. I'm just reading them."

"But why? Miss Elphaba the Delirious, why?"

I grinned at that, not sure why it appealed to me so. No one really appreciates being called crazy. "Elphaba the Delirious. I like that."

Miss Galinda actually smiled back at me, but a fierce wind suddenly blew a wave of hail against the window, causing the latch to break. Miss Galinda jumped up to close it again, while I leapt from my bed, retreating into the farthest corner, away from the wet.

"Miss Elphaba, get the leather luggage grip from inside my satchel—there on the shelf, behind the hatboxes—yes—I'll use it to hold the window shut until we can call someone to fix it."

I found the item in question, though I knocked over a few hat boxes in the process, causing the colorful headwear to spill out onto our floor. I handed the leather grip over to her, and she secured the window shut. I turned back to the hats I had knocked down and started to put them back in their respective boxes. Why did women need so many hats? I never recalled seeing Miss Galinda wear any of these particular ones; in fact, I couldn't recall seeing my own mother wearing such hats, if she ever wore a hat at all.

"Oh, try that one on!" Miss Galinda suddenly said.

I looked down at the hat I was currently holding. It was a lovely crème orange, with yellow lace veils that could be adjusted to achieve varying levels of disguise. "Oh, I daren't, Miss Galinda."

"No, I insist. I've never seen you in something pretty."

"I don't wear pretty things."

"What's the harm? It's just here; no one will see you."

I stood facing the fire and turned my head slowly to look at the blonde. I couldn't understand why she was behaving this way; it was very unlike her, and that somehow worried me. Why should I put this hat on; why should I give her a reason to laugh at me, and gossip about me behind my back, which was no doubt her ulterior motive. What did she take me for?

"Oh, put the damn hat on, _really_."

I obliged. I dropped the hat onto my head and looked at Miss Galinda from underneath the brim… and I waited for the laughter.

It never came. She instead said, "Oh, Miss Elphaba, you terrible mean thing, you're pretty."

There it was. "Oh, and now you have lied, so go confess to the unionist minister," I said, but I didn't take the hat off. It couldn't be true. People never used the word "pretty" to describe me, even in joking. I looked into the dark glass, my reflection gazing back at me.

Silence.

"Entrancing. There's some strange exotic quality of beauty about you. I never thought," Miss Galinda said.

"Surprise," I said, but that instantly caused me to turn a dark green. "I mean, surprise, not beauty. It's just surprise. 'Well, what do you know?' It's not beauty." I wasn't sure whom I was trying to convince: Miss Galinda or myself. Why I was so opposed to beauty, I didn't know. Most likely because I had never associated that particular trait with myself. It just didn't fit me.

"Well, who am I to argue," Miss Galinda said, tossing her curls and striking a pose. I couldn't help but laugh at that. I took the hat off my head and returned it to its box, which I put back up on the shelf. I picked up my book as Galinda said, "So what is Beauty reading anyway? Tell me, why the old sermons?"

"My father is a unionist minister. I'm just curious what it's all about, that's all."

"Why don't you just ask him?"

I didn't answer that. Miss Galinda didn't know my father; religion was not something one questioned in my house. I was already unsure about the Unnamed God; after all, why should I worship something I can't prove exists?

"Well, is that one anything interesting?"

"This one is thinking about good and evil, and whether it really exists."

"Oh, yawn. Evil exists, and its name is boredom, and ministers are the guiltiest crew of all. Besides, why would a girl be interested in evil?"

"I'm not interested in it. I just like to think when I'm reading. Don't you?"

"I don't read very well. I dress to kill, though."

There she went again. Always finding a way to direct the conversation back to herself. This was why I couldn't be around people like her; they never wanted to talk about things that actual mattered, or actually required one to use one's brain. They only wanted to talk about what they saw on the surface; their conversation only went skin deep, if even that far.

"Anyway, what do they think about evil?" Miss Galinda asked.

"Hard to say. They're more focused on locating evil, as if it were something material, such a fine mist or a falling rain, or perhaps a stagnant pool in some lost forest."

"And where is evil located?"

"Well, they didn't agree, did they? If they did, they wouldn't be writing sermons arguing the idea, would they? Some believe that evil is what is left behind when a goodness removes itself, so evil is the absence of deity."

"Well, I wouldn't know an evil thing if it fell on me," Galinda said, flopping onto her bed.

"Would you have called your shoe rack evil if it had fallen on your head?"

"Perhaps I would. I mean, if it had fallen on me and injured me, then the goodness would have left it, wouldn't it? It would have caused me pain, and in the spot where it had been, I would only see evil because I would be reminded of what happened when it stopped being pleasing to me."

There. There it was. "You _are_ thinking!" I cried excitedly. I knew it! I knew that somewhere beneath all those blonde curls, Miss Galinda did have a brain, and could use it!

Miss Galinda propped herself up onto her elbow and looked at me. "I am about to sleep, because this is profoundly boring to me," she said, but it didn't matter me to me. I had finally managed to scratch away some of the blonde's shallowness to reveal a glimpse of the girl inside, and it left me grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

"… and when she tried on my hat, I could've died!"

And there she was, gossiping about me the next morning. But, instead of being offended, I decided to take a new approach.

"Miss Galinda, really, if you keep talking about me, I'm going to be under the impression that you have some sort of feelings for me. I mean, I seem to be the only subject you can focus on nowadays."

Miss Galinda appeared absolutely mortified that I was addressing her in public, yet she hid it from her friends well. "Well, Miss Elphaba, you'd take any comment about you as a compliment; your desperation is showing, you know."

"Is that what you call it? Unlike you and your friends, I have no desire to be the center of attention, good or bad."

"No one much cares what your desires are, Miss Elphaba."

"As I have found out, harshly to boot. Still, I must carry on, green as ever." I left the group, hearing them snickering behind my back. Oh, well. Life goes on, gossip or not.

* * *

"All right, everyone, settle down!" our professor, a rather eccentric woman, said. "We are going to begin today with poems in preparation for the first poetry soiree that Madame Morrible will be holding tomorrow night."

The class groaned.

"Shut up and start writing poems!"

Everyone reluctantly pulled out paper and started writing.

"Master Fiyero, did you hear what I said?"

"Of course, but I don't need to write a poem. I already have one ready," he replied.

"Well, why don't you share it with us then?"

"Gladly." Fiyero stood up. "_Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and Miss Galinda is too_."

The blonde blushed at that as all the girls "awwwwed". I, on the other hand, burst out laughing. I couldn't help it! What the hell kind of a poem was that?

"Is something funny, Miss Elphaba?" the professor asked. Everyone was looking at me now.

"I'm sorry… but his poem! It's so ridiculous!" I said, my laughter dying away.

"Let's see you do better," Fiyero said, crossing his arms as he glared at me.

I looked at him before shaking my head, deciding to indulge in his little "challenge". "All right. If it will make you happy." All eyes were on me as I stood up.

"_Heaven is what I cannot reach!  
__The apple on the tree,  
__Provided it do hopeless hang,  
__That "heaven" is, to me._

_The color on the cruising cloud,  
__The interdicted ground  
__Behind the hill, the house behind, -  
__There Paradise is found!"_

I sat back down to silence. "How was that, Master Fiyero? Satisfactory, I hope."

"Miss Elphaba… that was quite extraordinary," the professor said, her glasses in danger of falling off her nose.

"It was just a little something I whipped up," I replied, grinning at Fiyero.

"Yes, well… thank you for sharing."

* * *

"So, Miss Elphaba the Delirious has more than one identity."

I looked up from my book. "Pardon?"

"Miss Elphaba the Beauty? Miss Elphaba the Poet?"

I looked back down at my book, a slight smile on my face. "I try not to show too many different sides of myself."

I heard Miss Galinda moving around the room. "Don't look. I'm changing."

"I wasn't going to look in the first place, but now that you said something—"

"Miss Elphaba!"

"Relax. I was going to say that now I'll make sure I keep my eyes on my book."

I'm sure Miss Galinda was casting a glare at me, but I had told her I wouldn't look, and I didn't.

A few minutes later, Miss Galinda announced that she had finished dressing.

"May I gaze upon your stunning beauty now?" I asked.

"I am leaving for the poetry soiree."

I looked up and saw that Miss Galinda was wearing a crème dress with a green ribbon cinched around her delicate waist. Wait… she was voluntarily wearing green? I didn't know if it was a coincidence or… something else. I shook my head; it was ridiculous for me to be thinking along those lines.

Wait… the poetry soiree? Oh, that was tonight! I remembered several of the girls talking about it because the boys from Briscoe Hall were coming over as well. I got off the bed and wrapped a scarf around my neck before tucking two books under my arm and leaving the room.

When I arrived, I found the last empty chair in the back, which I sat in just as Madame Morrible began her first Quell. I saw that Miss Galinda was sitting in an upholstered chair that best brought out the dress she was wearing. I realized that I had been so focused on Miss Galinda's attire that I only caught the last few lines of Madame Morrible's Quell.

"_Whose Virtues do exemplify_

_And Social Goods thus multiply_

_Animals should be seen and not heard."_

Well, that was certainly a wake-up call. I looked over at Dr. Dillamond, who was shaking his head. "Well, that's not poetry. That's propaganda, and it's not even good propaganda at that."

I sidled over to Miss Galinda, my chair under my arm. I set it between Miss Galinda and Miss Shenshen and sat down, leaning in close to her. "What do you make of it?" I asked.

"I don't know," Miss Galinda hissed back, looking away from me. It was clear she still didn't appreciate being addressed by me in public, but I ignored that fact.

"It's a cleverness, isn't it? I mean that last line, you couldn't tell by that fancy accent whether it was meant to be Animals or animals. No wonder Dr. Dillamond is furious," I continued.

"I am shocked," Dr. Dillamond said before he stood and left the room. I watched him go, half of me wanting to go after him. He had every right to be offended.

"I think she's bonkers," I said to Miss Galinda.

"Shh, I'm listening. I love poetry. Don't talk to me; you're ruining my evening."

What a blatant attempt at covering up a lie. Miss Galinda wouldn't know poetry from propaganda if someone took a dictionary and beat her over the head with it. Then would she call it evil?

The Quells continued, and I listened with mild interest and intrigue. I couldn't really tell what Madame Morrible was trying to get at; it all seemed to be spun in riddles so as to confuse and cause others to question themselves. I didn't quite understand the gist of it all, but eventually it came to an end, and I could tell that Miss Galinda was dying to get away from me. She stopped the first boy that approached and struck up a conversation immediately. They prattled on for a while, and I was considering leaving; after all, these social settings weren't for me.

"And you?" the Munchkin, Master Boq, suddenly asked, looking at me. "Who are you?"

Oh, I didn't want to get sucked into this. "I am leaving. Fresh dreams all."

"No, don't leave. I think I know you."

What was this now? "You don't know me. However could you know me?"

"You're Miss Elphaba, aren't you?"

"How do you know who I am? I don't know you."

"You and I used to play together as children in the Rush Margins."

"I remember nothing of the sort."

"But I know we did. Who else has green skin?"

"I see my skin precedes me, as usual."

"Yes, you're the daughter of the unionist minister whose name escapes me now."

"Frex," I said, my eyes narrowing. I didn't like this Mast Boq from Munchkinland, thinking he knew all about me.

"Yes! Frexspar the Godly! They still talk about him, you know, and your mama, and the Clock of the Time Dragon. Do you remember the Rush Margins?"

"This is all smoke and guesswork. How can I contradict? Let me tell you what happened before you can remember it," I said, eager to take my revenge on this little man. "You were born a frog. You got sacrificed to the Clock of the Time Dragon, and were turned into a boy. But on your marriage night when your wife opens her legs up to you, you will turn back into a tadpole and—"

"Miss Elphaba!" Miss Galinda exclaimed, her fan shooting open. I realized that this was something far more scandalous than she was used to hearing. "Your tongue!"

I figured they had heard enough; my revenge had been exacted. "Oh well, I have no childhood, so you can say what you want. Talk to Miss Galinda, she's much better in parlors than I am." I quickly fled the scene, almost breaking out into a run.

* * *

It never occurred to me that anyone from my childhood would ever recognize me. Aside from my green skin, I was mostly ignored as a child. Why would Master Boq take the time to recognize me? And why had he not been offended by my comment? I thought it was a rather good comeback… could it be that I was losing my touch?

I shook my head. That was ridiculous. Sarcasm and wit were my tools of the trade; no one could dish it out like I could. I nodded at the satisfaction of that thought before I changed into my nightdress and climbed into bed, pulling the blankets up over my head and retreating into a fort of coarse fabrics and the scent of charred wood.

* * *

_What am I to make of Madame Morrible's Quells tonight? I still don't know. Dr. Dillamond's reaction really reached me, and I don't know if I'd feel as strongly if he hadn't showed his real emotions. I'm curious as to what Madame Morrible really meant by that last line. I may only be a first-year girl, but perhaps I need to question our head about this, whether she wants to be confronted or not._

**Poem used: Heaven is What I Cannot Reach by Emily Dickinson**


	4. Entry 4

"… and thus, the Ozma regime began."

My hand moved furiously across my notebook as I wrote to keep up with the Goat's words, while my other hand pushed my glasses back up my nose for what seemed like the hundredth time. Sometimes I wished I didn't have to rely on pieces of glass to see. My IQ was over 150, yet I couldn't do a darn thing without my glasses.

Ah! Less thinking, more note taking!

"Now, moving on. The—" Dr. Dillamond had flipped the board around, but a sudden gasp throughout the room interrupted him. I looked up at the board as well and my mouth literally fell open. Written in large red letters:

ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

Dr. Dillamond seemed especially shaken up by this, and I couldn't blame him. Still… that phrase sounded familiar…

"Class… is dismissed," The Goat said, turning his back to us. The other students left awkwardly, but I approached the Goat.

"Dr. Dillamond… you shouldn't let ignorant comments like that get to you," I said. "Well, I always do, but you shouldn't!"

"Miss Elphaba… have you noticed a trend here at Shiz?"

"Well… the popular do seem to walking on others to get ahead, but that's natural."

"There are no Animal students here, Miss Elphaba. And it is not only happening in Oz. This… oppression has spread to other lands as well."

I sighed. "Dr. Dillamond… if something bad is happening to the Animals, then someone's got to tell the Wizard. That's why we have a Wizard!"

"I hope you're right, Miss Elphaba," the Goat said, placing a hoof on my shoulder. "You know, I have been in some need for an assistant in my research. Perhaps you would be willing to…?"

"Well, I'll do what I can to help."

"Good. Meet me at my office tonight and we can get you started."

* * *

The sudden trust that Dr. Dillamond was showing in me motivated my next daring action: in Madame Morrible's class, I unfolded myself and stood from where I had been sitting in the back of the classroom. "Madame Morrible if you please, we never had a chance to discuss your Quells, and I have a question about one of them," I said. Everyone turned to look at me, and not without surprise.

"Ask away," Madame Morrible said.

"The phrase at the end of your second Quell; surely you heard about its appearance in Dr. Dillamond's classroom today?"

"Yes. Unfortunate, but Dr. Dillamond is not a poet, and he does not understand the poetic convention of irony. Would you care to define irony for us?"

My hands formed fists. "I don't believe I can, Madame." I listened as Morrible made up some cock-and-bull definition, trying to make it sound better than it was. "So that phrase then… that was ironic?" I asked once she had finished. I looked down at my notes, not meeting her eyes.

"One could consider it in an ironic mode if one chose."

"How do you choose?"

"How impertinent!"

"I mean no impertinence; I'm trying to learn. This is just argument and conclusion, and I don't see the irony."

"You don't see much, Miss Elphaba. You must learn to put yourself in the shoes of someone wiser; to be stuck in ignorance is very sad in one so young and _bright_."

Oh, that hurt. That last sentence had no doubt been a low comment on my skin color, which I'll admit did have a certain… glow with the effort of public speaking.

"Bright? She's phosphorescent!" I heard Miss Galinda say. That caused the class to start laughing, which was no surprise, but I didn't stop to give a response.

"But I was trying to put myself in the shoes of Dr. Dillamond," I said to Madame Morrible, not willing to give up.

"Animals should not be heard!" Madame Morrible snapped.

"Do you mean that ironically?" I asked, but I sat back down with my hands over my face and didn't look up for the rest of the class time.

* * *

"Miss Elphaba, may I ask what in Oz's name you were thinking today?"

"Oh, Miss Galinda, that's a difficult question. Many things run through my mind in a single day; it would be next to impossible for me to describe them all to you, or to pick out a single one, seeing as I can't quite remember everything that I think of in a single day. And besides, today isn't even over yet, so I haven't finished thinking for the day." I could feel Galinda scowling at me, but I didn't give her the satisfaction of looking up from my book.

"You know what I meant. Today, in Madame Morrible's class. The comment you made."

"Ah, yes. About her offensive phrase."

"Offensive?"

"'Animals should be seen and not heard'. What do you call that, Miss Galinda?"

"True."

I sat up quickly, dropping my book. "True? How can you say that?"

Miss Galinda looked somewhat surprised, and I realized that I had raised my voice above normal conversation level. "Well, Miss Elphaba—"

"Miss Galinda, how would you feel if the phrase had said, "Blondes should be seen and not heard? How would you feel about that?"

"Well, I—"

"Would you be offended if you found it written across your wall?"

"I think you're—"

"Overreacting? Taking this too far? Miss Galinda, I was trying to make a point today: that the oppression of Animals has gone on long enough. Your comment that added onto Madame Morrible's low insult made me look ridiculous! I was attempting to take a stand and you turned me into more of a joke than I already am, mostly thanks to you, again!"

"I don't understand why you're getting so worked up about this."

I shook my head. "You know, I realize that you hate me with every fiber of your blonde being, but I know that there is a brain in you somewhere, and when I saw you actually using it the other night… I thought that perhaps you weren't the shallow girl I had originally thought. I thought that maybe there was a small glimmer of intelligence that was beginning to emerge, but it appears as though I was mistaken. So congratulations, Miss Galinda, you have succeeded in proving me wrong, so I'll turn my back and you can run off to your friends and resume gossiping behind it."

Miss Galinda didn't have a reply to that; she just looked shocked.

I sighed and shook my head. "I should probably get going. Dr. Dillamond is expecting me."

* * *

I didn't know what kind of research Dr. Dillamond was engaged in, but I was somewhat excited that he had deemed me worthy to participate in it. I made my way to his office, knocking on the door when I arrived.

"It's open."

I turned the handle and entered, finding the Goat sitting amongst tables and desks piled high with books and papers and jars and… it was all overwhelming, and my brain struggled to take it all in at once.

"Miss Elphaba. Right on time," Dr. Dillamond said, poking his head out from behind a tower of books.

"What… what can I help you with?"

"Well, I was thinking that perhaps you could take my notes as I work? As you can understand, it's very difficult for me to hold pencil, much less write."

"Oh, of course." I picked up a notebook and pencil.

Dr. Dillamond smiled. "Ready to go right to it, I see."

"Well, I'm honored that you have allowed me to help you with your research, and I don't want to disappoint."

"I'm sure you won't. By the way, I heard about your… debate with Madame Morrible today."

"Oh. I guess news travels fast, especially when it's about me."

"Apparently you caused quite a stir."

"Well, the phrase disturbed me as much as it did you and considering the fact that Madame Morrible was the one who coined it, I figured that she needed to be confronted."

"A noble effort, Miss Elphaba, but one must be careful when choosing their battles."

"It's in my nature to be rash."

Dr. Dillamond looked at me and I gave him a smile. He just shook his head. "Let's begin, Miss Elphaba."

When I got back to our room, the lights were off and I found Miss Galinda already in bed. I didn't know how late at night it was, or if she was still upset over what I had said before I left. Not that it really mattered to me either way. I had been wrong about Miss Galinda; I could accept that. The semester was almost over anyway, which meant that we would be separated soon enough.

I untied my boots and removed them, tossing them to the ground with a thud. I heard Miss Galinda stir.

"Must you make so much noise?" I heard her ask sleepily.

"So sorry to disturb your beauty sleep," I replied as I changed out of my dress and pulled my nightdress over my head. I climbed into my bed and pulled the blankets high.

"So, how was your night of research?"

"Pray tell me why it matters in the slightest to you, Miss Galinda."

"Well, you were so upset with me earlier. I've never seen you like that before."

"You rarely see me at all."

I suppose that Miss Galinda was about to reply, but it was at that moment there a loud clap of thunder and I jumped, my eyes fixed on the window. Oz, I hoped that leather grip held…

"Miss Elphaba, surely you're not afraid of thunderstorms?"

"N-no. Of course not." Oh, no. I had let my voice tremble with that slight fear. I couldn't let Miss Galinda detect any sign of weakness. I couldn't give her anything more to use against me. There was another clap of thunder and rain suddenly started pounding the window, shaking the glass and threatening to come in.

"Miss Elphaba?"

I didn't move; my eyes were still fixated on the window. I'll admit it; I was paralyzed with fear.

"Miss Elphaba?" Miss Galinda repeated, approaching me. "Are you all right?"

My eyes finally focused on her and I nodded. "Y-yes. I'm fine."

"You look terrified, which is odd. I can't imagine Miss Elphaba the Delirious being afraid of a rainstorm."

"I am not afraid!" I said firmly. I got up and pulled the curtains closed, determined to erase all traces of my fear. "It's late. We'd better go to sleep before other girls hear us and get the wrong idea." I quickly got back into bed, pulling the covers over my head in a way that seemed almost juvenile, but in that moment, it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to forget my roommate and the storm and just… escape.

* * *

As I was getting my morning coffee, I heard suppressed giggles behind me. I didn't even have to look to know that it was Miss Galinda and her friends.

"Miss Elphaba!"

This was new. They were actually addressing me? I was suspicious, of course. I wasn't an idiot; did I mention that my IQ is over 150? That technically makes me a genius, but hey, who's really keeping track right?

"Miss Elphaba!"

I sighed. I might as well go see what they wanted; I was smart enough to avoid whatever tricks they may have planned for me.

"How may I help you ladies?" I asked, approaching their table.

"Oh, Miss Elphaba, we have a favor to ask of you," Miss Pfannee said.

"And is there some reason why I should oblige? After all, you four sure do seem to have a good time at my expense."

"Oh, don't be silly," Miss Pfannee said. She pushed a canned beverage across the table towards me. "We wouldn't dream of that. It's just that none of us can seem to open this darn thing. Perhaps you could assist?

I looked at the can before I picked it up. "Of course," I said, but I was suspicious. The looks they had on their faces… and the way they had called me "Miss Elphaba" all spelled out trouble. I looked down at the can and realized that as soon as I opened it, there was a 99% chance it was going to explode in my face.

"Good morning ladies."

We all turned towards the voice, and I saw that it was Master Fiyero.

"Fiyero! What are you… you can't be in Crage Hall!" Miss Galinda said.

"Why ever not?" Master Fiyero, coming to stand behind her.

Miss Galinda twisted her neck around, trying to keep track of her scandalous prince. "Because this is the girls' dormitory!"

"No one here seems offended."

"But if Madame Morrible sees you, you'll be in awful trouble!"

"Why Miss Galinda, you should be flattered that your boyfriend is willing to risk his manhood to be here with you," I said. "In fact, I'm sure that Master Fiyero would be more than willing to help out a group of pretty ladies in distress."

"Of course I would," Master Fiyero said, beaming.

"Well, it seems as though we just can't open this canned beverage. I'm certain that with your muscular build, this task would be simple," I said, handing over the can. I noticed that the girls' looks went from gleeful to horrified, and rightly so. The second Master Fiyero opened the can, its contents exploded right in his face. Galinda covered her head as liquid rained down on her, being as close as she was. I burst out laughing; they all thought they could outsmart me? Ha! I could see right through these girls, and now, I was the one laughing.

"Really, Miss Elphaba, playing such a nasty trick on him!" Miss Pfannee said right away.

I shrugged. "What can I say? My green skin makes me mischievous by nature. And don't look so horrified. I merely diverted the joke from myself to Master Fiyero. You four gave me that can in hopes that I would open it and be the one covered in liquid, but I saw through that trick. I saw no harm in passing it over to Master Fiyero, and besides, what I've done is far less worse than what Madame Morrible will do if she finds you here." I explained. I looked at the prince. "I apologize, Master Fiyero, but only for thinking so highly of you. It's clear to me now that my first impressions of you were indeed correct."

"Oh, really? And what were those 'impressions'?" he asked, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"That you are a complete and total, without a doubt, empty-headed, jack—"

"That'll do, Miss Elphaba!" Miss Galinda said, interrupting me. "Please leave us be now, before I decide to throw my cup of water in _your_ face, which we both know would be very unpleasant for you, considering your… condition."

"My condition? Are you perhaps referring to my greenness, because we've discussed this, but I'll reiterate myself: no I'm not seasick, yes I've always been green, and no I did not eat grass as a child. Any further questions must be submitted in writing and will be answered within twenty-four hours, except on Sundays, which is when my office is closed."

Oh, Miss Galinda did not like that at all. In fact, my sarcastic reply made her so spitting mad that she grabbed her cup and threw its contents at my face. I ducked quickly, not looking to get burned today, and the water hit another girl who had been passing behind me. The three girls at the table burst into peals of laughter, while Miss Galinda gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Oh, sweet Lurline… this is your fault!" she said, glaring at me.

"I'd love to stay, but I'm just a green woman, trying to make my way in this world, so excuse me for running off like this," I said. I grabbed an apple and tossed it into the air, catching it again. I grinned at Miss Galinda. "See you later… roomie."

* * *

"Now, it has come to my attention that you two aren't exactly… getting along."

"Madame, please, I cannot take much more of this! Miss Elphaba is absolutely, positively, without a doubt, impossible to get along with!" Miss Galinda practically shouted, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at me.

The Head looked at me. "Miss Elphaba?"

I shrugged, my arms crossed. "I don't believe in saying anything that will incriminate myself."

"You see? That is exactly what I'm talking about! I need to switch rooms right now!"

"Miss Galinda, please, the semester is almost over. There would be no sense in switching you now."

"Well, then, next semester."

"No, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Now that caught my interest as well. "What?" Miss Galinda and I said in unison. We both glared at each other for that.

"Switching you now would upset my other girls far too much, seeing as they're all settled in and such. No, you two will just have to stay together until the end of the year. Besides, you're only roommates. It's not as though anyone is asking you to fall in love."

Miss Galinda and I both shuddered at that thought. Could you imagine us falling for one another? No, no. Can't happen, won't happen.

"Madame Morrible, please. My parents would not be pleased to hear that I was being forced to live with… someone of Miss Elphaba's standing."

Okay, that was enough. "Miss Galinda, let me tell you something. I realize that you come from a wealthy family, and I acknowledge that you see yourself in a higher class, but my skin color does not determine _my_ class. In fact, I have a noble standing. Do you remember the introduction that Madame Morrible so graciously gave me when I first arrived? Because of my mother, I am next in line for the Eminent Thropp. If you really want to get technical about all of this, then I am actually of a higher standing than you, yet you don't see me flaunting it all over the place. If you fancy yourself so much higher than me, then let me ask you this: do you have nobility running through your veins that hasn't been bought, because I certainly do."

Miss Galinda stared at me, no reply in sight.

"All right, Miss Elphaba, that's enough. We are aware of your family's standing in Oz. Now, please girls, you two need to behave yourselves. I cannot have you disrupting the education of the other students. I don't want to see either of you in here again because of this matter, all right?"

"Yes, Madame."

* * *

"I can't believe this! She just… refused to switch us!"

I rolled my eyes. "Miss Galinda, really, give it a rest already. There is nothing we can do."

Miss Galinda shot a glare at me.

"My words, duckies! The tension in here is thick enough to cut with… a knife of substantial size," Ama Clutch said, entering the room. "Oh, the window broke? I do hope it wasn't some boy trying to climb in."

"Oh, no. The boys don't need to use the windows. They just come during our morning coffee and biscuits," I said.

"Boys in Crage Hall? An outrage, that's what it is!" Ama Clutch said.

"I agree. Miss Galinda, you should march over to Briscoe Hall and tell your boyfriend what's what," I said, nodding in Miss Galinda's direction.

"You stay out of this, Miss Eminent Thropp."

"Please, please, I haven't come into that title yet, so there's no need to address me with such an honorific." I sat up, pulling my boots back on. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, I'm going downstairs. I'll be back soon, so try not to miss me too much."

Okay, so I admit, leaving Miss Galinda like that was not exactly what Madame Morrible would call "getting along", but the blonde just go so worked up over every little thing I did that it was impossible not to torment her. Besides, wasn't it true that she gossiped about me like it was a sport, and she leading the crowd by a long shot. Here she comes, ladies and gentlemen, tearing around that curve and spreading rumors like it's her Unnamed God given right! Watch out now, she doesn't take any prisoners! Pin that blue ribbon upon her chest!

Oh, yes, reading while walking was second nature to me, for all of you who may be concerned. I wasn't worried about running into anyone; people usually stepped out of my way to avoid touching me. Trees were the only things I had to watch out for. This is embarrassing to admit, but once I broke my nose running onto a tree because I had been too involved in my book to pay attention. Anyway, I was much more careful now and—

WHUMP

I stumbled back, juggling with my book a few times before I managed to catch it. Strike that. Days without incident go back down to zero. I looked up and saw that I had reached my destination… and the fruit was curiously absent. I inquired to its whereabouts and was informed that if I wanted fruit, I could very well get it myself.

Ah, touché.

So, there I was, putting a bunch of grapes into a colander when my eyes caught movement outside in the vegetable garden. I raised an eyebrow as I left the kitchen, looking up into the tree outside Crage Hall, where a discovered a boy in the branches.

"What the _hell_ are you doing up there?" I asked.

This seemed to startle him as he came crashing down through the tree, branches snapping as he fell.

"Oh, brilliant. The trees are dropping their fruits early this year," I said.

"How do you do? This wasn't how I intended to arrive," he said, feeling around for something. I noticed his spectacles on the ground; so he needed assistance with his vision as well. I approached him, the grapes and colander still in my hands. "Oh, it's you," he said, sounding somewhat devastated.

Well, that was a fine hello. "Oh, it's _you_," I said as I drew closer. He looked familiar… "I know you."

"Master Boq at your service."

"You mean Master Boq in my lettuces," I said, handing him his glasses, which he set on his nose.

"How are you, Miss Elphaba?"

"Well, I'm not as tart as a grape and not as squished as a lettuce. How are you?"

"I am considerably embarrassed. Am I going to get in trouble here?"

"I can arrange that if you like. I'm sure Madame Morrible would just be tickled pink to discover that we've had two male visitors in a single day."

"I don't want you to go through the effort. I'll let myself out the way I came." He looked up at the tree. "Poor thing, I've splintered some good-sized branches."

"Pity the poor tree. Why would you do that to it?"

"Well, I had two options: either flip myself through the leaves like a wood nymph, or climb down quietly to the other side and return to my life. Which would you choose?"

I smiled. "Ah, that's the question, but the first thing I've learned is to question the validity. Myself, being startled, I would neither flip nor climb. I would turn myself inside out to make myself lighter, then hover until the air pressure outside me had stabilized. Then I would float back down gently."

"And would you then reverse your skin?"

"I don't know. It would depend on who was standing there, and what color the underside of my skin happens to be. Having never turned myself inside out before, I can't be sure, but I've always thought that it must be horrid to be pink and white like a piglet."

"Well, I do beg your pardon."

"You were looking at the tops of the fruit trees, examining the new growth, I assume?" I asked, an amused grin crossing my face. "Did you see the tree of your dreams?"

The tree of my dreams is of my dreams, and I don't plan to discuss it with my friends, or you."

"But we're more than friends, aren't we? You said it yourself: we played together as children. Why, we're practically brother and sister. You can describe your tree to me, and I'll tell you whether or not I know where it grows."

"You mock me, Miss Elphaba."

"Oh, I don't mean to Boq." I dropped the honorific, to underscore my comment of us being siblings. "I know that you want to know about my roommate, Miss Galinda."

"Your roommate?"

"Yes, are you surprised?"

"No, just pleased."

I looked down at the items in my hands and realized what I had come down here for. "The cooks will be wondering what conversation I'm having with the asparagus now, so I'll tell you now: I could arrange to have Miss Galinda meet you here some evening, sooner rather than later, before the winter break."

"Really? Could you?"

"Yes, but don't expect too much, seeing as she does enjoy the company of a certain Vinkus prince. We Munchkins are… below her radar, but I'll indulge in your request. Give me three days, and you will find a certain blonde waiting for you here."

Boq suddenly grabbed my hand and started shaking it vigorously. "You're a dear friend, Elphaba, even if I haven't seen you in fifteen years."

I would have given him a warning on not trusting me so easily and writing me off as a friend so soon, but he was already climbing away. I sighed. I knew Miss Galinda was going to break his poor little heart, but what could I do? I had already made a promise, though I had created more work for myself. Miss Galinda was, like me, a stubborn one. Still, I knew I'd find one way or another to make this work.

* * *

"That took you long enough. Did you plant the seeds yourself so you could have the freshest fruit in Shiz?" Miss Galinda asked as I entered the room.

"I see you are beginning to come into your sarcasm skills. I approve, but it could use some more work," I said. "I ran into your boyfriend, if you must know the truth."

"Fiyero? Did he sneak into Crage Hall again?"

"Oh, I didn't mean him. I meant Boq, the Munchkin who is so enamored with you."

"Master Boq? What business does he want with me?"

"The kind of business that takes place behind closed doors."

"Miss Elphaba!"

"You asked. Oh, and I told him that you would meet with him three nights from now."

"What? Tell me I heard you incorrectly Miss Elphaba."

"Oh, need I rephrase? Let me try again: I so kindly arranged a meeting between him and you that will take place in seventy-two hours."

Miss Galinda glared at me. "Why? Why would you do that to me?"

"Oh, don't become overly dramatic, though I know it's your favorite pastime. He climbed a tree in hopes of peering in on you. You should be thankful that I caught him before he had the misfortune of seeing you indecent."

"The nerve of boys! I ought to go tell Madame Morrible!"

"Do that and I'll tell her about your boyfriend's visit today."

"Fine, fine, I won't tell, but you can't expect me to meet with Master Boq. Besides, the winter dance is coming up, and if I meet with Master Boq, as you have proposed, he will most certainly ask me to go, and I hate to see how he'll react with the inevitable 'no' emerges."

"Oh, Miss Galinda, don't become righteous on me now; I get enough of that from my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Yes, and before you ask, no, she is not green."

"I… I wasn't going to ask that."

I snorted in amusement. "I don't even have to look at you to know you're lying. What does that say about you, my blonde roommate?"

"It says that I will not be keeping this arrangement you have set up."

I looked up at the blonde, and grinned slightly. "Never say never, Miss Galinda. Three days is a long time, and, as you'll discover, I can be a very persuasive person."

Miss Galinda crossed her arms, and I knew what this had turned into. It would be a battle of wills. Whoever could hold out the longest would be the winner…

And I was not one to lose.

* * *

_So, Miss Galinda has declared war now, has she? Well, if she knew me at all, she would have known that I never back down from a challenge, and I am not one to surrender to someone of lower intelligence than myself. I have been made capable by my upbringing. Outlasting Miss Galinda will be easy; living with her afterwards would be the hard part._


	5. Entry 5

"Good morning Miss Galinda."

"No."

Swing and a miss. Miss Galinda was determined on shooting me down at every possible opportunity she had.

"You didn't even listen to what I was going to say."

"You want me to meet Master Boq in three days."

"Technically, it's only two days now. Well, two and a half days."

"Be as cynical as you want, Miss Elphaba. I'm not going. With the dance on Friday, and winter break starting shortly after—"

"You can't use social gatherings as an excuse. Besides, he just wants to talk."

"Boys never want to just talk."

I chuckled. "I'm sure you know all about that, Miss Galinda."

"Are you saying I'm easy?"

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I wasn't thinking of that. You came up with that all on your own."

Miss Galinda's face turned red, though from anger or embarrassment, I didn't know. Most likely both, I suppose. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, making her look somewhat like a beautiful blonde fish. I had to keep from laughing as that image popped into my head.

"I have to use the bathroom," came her response, and enter the bathroom she did, closing the door behind her. I waited, knowing that soon enough she'd—

The door opened and Miss Galinda threw a crumpled up piece of paper at my head before slamming the door shut again. I picked up the paper, smiling slightly. So she had found my note. Ah, well. I still had plenty of time… and plenty of tricks up my sleeves.

* * *

I walked into Dr. Dillamond's class a little later than I usually did, but don't think it wasn't because I planned it. I knew what time Miss Galinda arrived, and I had wanted to arrive after her. And I was successful, as I saw her sitting with her usual friends, chattering away like newly hatched chicks.

This would be amusing.

"Well, good morning, my blonde roommate. Whatever gossip are we catching up on this morning?" I said as I approached the group.

Miss Galinda looked absolutely mortified. "This is a private conversation, Miss Elphaba."

"Private? Nonsense! I can hear you all from across the room. I'm just trying to work on my social skills; after all, Madame Morrible told us to get along, didn't she?" I sat down in the seat directly behind the blonde.

"What are you doing? Go sit in the back like you usually do!" the blonde hissed at me.

"Miss Galinda, your harsh words cut me deep. I can see the board much better from here."

"Miss Elphaba—"

"Good morning students," Dr. Dillamond said, entering the room. "Miss Glinda, I much prefer to see your face than the back of your head."

The blonde whipped around. "It's _Ga_linda, you old Goat! For the last time, my name is _Ga_linda! Ga!"

A silence had fallen over the classroom and Dr. Dillamond looked somewhat shocked. Myself… well, I was trying to keep my mouth from falling open in gleeful surprise. Yes, you read that right. Gleeful. I never used that word for myself, but Miss Galinda… she seemed to have finally lost it. I had finally driven her over the edge. Bad green woman. Bad.

"Dr. Dillamond, please forgive Miss Galinda's outburst. I may have said something to upset her, so her anger really was directed at me, but you caught her attention, and she vented on you instead," I said.

"I see. Well, Miss Gli… Miss _Ga_linda. Are you all right now, or have you still anger to let out?" the Goat said, catching his mistake.

"I'm fine," Miss Galinda said, but I noticed that her hands had formed fists. I leaned back in my chair as the Goat began his lecture.

Would I get hell for this later? Yes.

Was it worth it? Most definitely.

* * *

"Miss Elphaba, I ought to wring your scrawny neck right now!"

"Scrawny? I realize that I may be somewhat skinny, but I like to think of myself as 'lean'. 'Scrawny' just has a negative connotation and implies weakness."

"Miss Elphaba—"

"I'd love to stay and allow you to vent all your emotions unto me, but I really must be going now." I started for the door, but Miss Galinda quickly leapt in front of me, blocking my path.

"No! No, you don't just get to leave!" she said, pointing a finger mere inches from my face. "You can't just come in here and embarrass me the way you did, you green menace!"

I grinned. "I like that. It makes me sound like a sort of superhero."

"Miss Elphaba!"

"Please calm yourself. I did not mean you any embarrassment; I was merely trying to keep you from getting in trouble. After all, Dr. Dillamond hasn't quite been himself since the day he found that message written on his board."

"Oh, sweet Lurline, are you still on that? Get over it; it's done! It happened, and there's nothing you can do!"

I shook my head. "See, Miss Galinda, this is part of your problem. You never think about the lasting effects of anything you do."

Miss Galinda crossed her arms. "I suppose this is all part of your plan to get me to meet with Master Boq?"

"I see your powers of deduction are finely tuned."

"Galinda, are you coming or not?"

Miss Galinda and I both looked up at the sound of Miss Pfannee's voice. Her eyes narrowed when she saw me. "Miss Elphaba," she all but spat.

I nodded in her direction, choosing to let that insult slide.

"I'll be right there. I was just putting the green bean in her place," Miss Galinda said. Miss Pfannee left and Miss Galinda turned away from me.

"And where exactly is my place, Miss Galinda?" I asked with a grin.

"Anywhere away from me," Miss Galinda replied as she left the room.

Well, what an illogical answer. Had she forgotten that we shared a room? Poor Miss Galinda. She seemed to be suffering from short-term memory loss. Ah, pity the poor blonde. Still, she was set on fighting me, and what choice had I but to oblige? This was war, after all.

* * *

Another day in, and Miss Galinda was still as stubborn as ever. Despite my many attempts, she was still set in her ways: she was not going to meet with Master Boq under any circumstances.

"Honestly, Miss Galinda, I don't understand your resistance," I said, coming out of the bathroom in my drab nightdress, my toothbrush in one hand. "He's one of the nicer and better looking boys at Briscoe Hall, if a little shorter."

"I thought I made it very clear that I don't want to talk about this anymore," Miss Galinda said, not even looking up at me as her pencil continued to glide across her paper. Miss Galinda was unlike most others; she could make a pencil dance across paper, unlike everyone else here. We were all forced to write hastily and stumble over our words, making lines that were sharp and unforgiving. But give Miss Galinda a pencil and she'd make it tango through history notes, and waltz across sorcery textbooks. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how she did it. Never had I seen a pencil move so gracefully than one could in her delicate hands. Perhaps it was a trait that all artists shared.

"What?" I heard her say. I realized that I had been staring, so I needed to find a way to regain myself.

"I'm just trying to understand your reluctance, that's all. Perhaps I'll find it on that paper you're devoting so much attention to." There. That should do it.

Miss Galinda scowled at me. "You're just a riot, aren't you?"

"If that's how you prefer to think of me."

Miss Galinda shook her head as she went back to her paper. I started to turn towards the bathroom, but I stopped and turned back around. I wanted to know if she was drawing me again, and if she was… well, I had a right to now, didn't I? Especially if she were drawing me in some compromising position to show her friends and gossip about me some more.

I threw my toothbrush and it hit the ground right beside her bed. Miss Galinda looked up in slight annoyance. "Oh, my toothbrush seems to have flown from my hand yet again. Allow me to cross the invisible boundary line you have created through our room to retrieve it."

Miss Galinda looked back down, shaking her head, and I approached her bed, kneeling down to pick up my toothbrush. I stood up slowly, my eyes on the paper. I caught a glimpse of feminine figure that looked remarkably like my own, dressed in a familiar drab nightdress, before Miss Galinda pulled it close to her chest, casting a glare up at me.

"Can't you respect my privacy?"

I shrugged. "I can't help it. I find art interesting, especially when the subjects look remarkably like your roommate, which is me, in case you had forgotten."

"Trust me, I'll never forget that."

"Glad to hear you aren't suffering from short-term memory loss, which was what I believed to be true earlier."

"I wish it was true, because then I could forget that I'd ever laid eyes on you."

"I'm flattered."

* * *

The next two days went much similar to the first: I pushed, Miss Galinda pushed back. I pushed harder, and Miss Galinda was ready to shove me over the edge of a cliff… figuratively, of course.

"Miss Galinda, I realize that the past few days have trying for us, but tonight is that night, which means that these next few hours will be crucial. I trust you'll want to prepare for your meeting with Master Boq?" I said.

"For the last time, Miss Elphaba, I am not going to meet with a boy under any circumstances, so you'd better get that through your green head or I will—"

"Are my two duckies fighting again? This does not make for a healthy living environment," Ama Clutch said, entering the room.

"We wouldn't be fighting if Miss Elphaba knew how to respect the sanctity of the word 'no'," Miss Galinda said.

"With all due respect, Miss Galinda, you yourself could learn a thing or two about open-mindness, but then again, you'd have to be open-minded yourself to learn about it, wouldn't you? What a catch-22 we have here."

"Before you two leap at each other's throats again, let me say what I came here to tell you. Tonight, we Amas have put together another event for you girls and—"

"Yes, please, I would _love_ to go," Miss Galinda said, standing up right away.

"But Miss Galinda and I have prior engagements," I added.

"No, we do not," the blonde growled at me.

"Have you already forgotten that you're failing Dr. Dillamond's history class?"

"You're failing a class?" Ama Clutch said, not without some faint horror.

"No, Ama—"

"Your parents would sack me if they found out that I had allowed you to go out when your grades were slipping so! You need to go with Miss Elphaba straight to the library and study!"

"No! I don't need to—"

"You heard her, Miss Galinda. We must go," I said, standing up and taking Miss Galinda by the wrist.

"Don't touch me!" she practically screamed.

"It's not contagious, and besides, we can't have your parents sacking our dear Ama, now can we? Come along, Miss Galinda. We're off to the library!"

"You did that on purpose," Miss Galinda hissed at me once we left the room.

"Of course I did. I told you, Miss Galinda, I don't lose in a test of wills."

Miss Galinda dug her feet into the ground, making it very hard on me. Finally, with a sigh, I turned back to her. "Miss Galinda, we can either do this the nice way or my way, but it will be done. Take your pick."

Miss Galinda just crossed her arms, giving me the _I-dare-you-to-touch-me-again_ look.

I sighed again. "All right. Just remember: you brought this all upon yourself." I wrapped my arms around Miss Galinda's thighs before picking her up and putting her over my shoulder.

"PUT ME DOWN!" the blonde screeched.

I winced as my eardrum throbbed with pain. "I gave you a choice, and you chose to be difficult," I said as I started walking. The blonde pounded her fists against my back. She would have been kicking me too, but I held her legs still.

"Miss Elphaba Thropp, if you don't put me down, I'm going to—"

"Draw naked pictures of yourself?" I guessed.

"In every single one of your books!" she spat back, obviously too enraged to really consider what she was saying.

"But Miss Galinda, what will people _say_? They'll think we're having some sort of… love affair!"

* * *

"Oh, my stars and garters. A visitor. How very unexpected," I said.

"Good evening, Miss Galinda," Boq said, approaching the bench we were sitting on.

"This is highly inappropriate," Galinda said.

"Oh please. You meet with Master Fiyero all the time," I said, pulling my bare feet up onto the bench.

"Master Boq, keep in mind that I am only here because my roommate would not leave me alone unless I agreed to meet with you."

"Oh, say something interesting. I'm beginning to wish I'd gone to chapel," I said.

"Thank you for arranging this Elphaba, but now you may leave and—"

"I don't think so. I'm a Munchkinlander, if not by birth, and a girl, if only by accident. If I leave, you two will cease to understand each other completely. She speaks Rich, and you speak the Clotted Poor. I'm the natural interpreter between you two. Besides, I paid for this show by wheedling Miss Galinda for three days. I get to watch."

In a move that seemed rehearsed, Miss Galinda folded up her fan, rapped me on the head with it, and opened it again with a flourish. "You can stay, Miss Elphaba, but we didn't ask for a running commentary." The blonde turned her attention back to the Munchkin. "So, Master Boq, I have heard that you have certain… affections for me?"

"Oh, well, I… yes."

"Oh, I'm so glad I didn't leave. This is just beginning to get interesting," I said, but the two gave me such harsh looks that I decided to keep my mouth shut.

"Master Boq, while you seem to have good heart, I cannot return these… affections in the manner that you want."

"Oh, come now, Miss Galinda. Why are you acting this way? You've never been this proper before," I said. I turned to Boq. "Look, Boq, if you want to see Miss Galinda the way she really is, you need only come to our dorm room when we're alone. I assure you, you'll see a much different woman than the way she is portraying herself now."

Miss Galinda hit me with her fan again and I fell silent once again.

"Miss Galinda, may I ask why?" Boq asked, looking crestfallen. "What qualities does Master Fiyero possess that I do not?"

"Well, your merits: you're sweet and honest and, oh, to look at—"

"Dashing? Handsome?" I suggested.

"You're fun to look at," Miss Galinda finished.

"Fun?" Boq said.

"I'd give a lot to achieve _fun_," I said. "The best I usually hope for is _stirring,_ and when people say that, they're usually referring to digestion."

"Master Boq, please try to understand that this would not work out. We can have no special friendship, and I apologize," Miss Galinda said.

"Miss Galinda, I will not let you say no to our friendship, for you mean too much to me."

"Behold the male beast roaring in the jungle for his mate. See how the female beast giggles behind a shrub while she organizes her face to say, Pardon dear, did you say something?"

"Elphaba!" they both cried, turning on me. I grinned.

"My word! This is most certainly not the library!"

Miss Galinda turned and her face immediately turned pink. "Ama Clutch! How did you-"

"You think people don't have ears! The cooks heard you talking and it got around to me. And who is this? A guest don't get shown into the vegetable garden, so he must be uninvited!"

I yawned. "Is the show over now?" I was just beginning to enjoy myself. "That is a pity, especially considering that you two were actually making some progress. You were going to unite together to reach a common goal, even if it was against me."

"This meeting is quite over! Really, Miss Elphaba, only known Miss Galinda for a few months and you've already gotten her involved in sorts of… improperness!"

"Oh, Ama Clutch, don't make a scene," the blonde sighed.

"Come along," Ama Clutch said, grabbing Miss Galinda's arm.

"But Boq hardly a threat!" I said. "Look, he doesn't even have a beard, and from that we can deduce—"

"That's quite enough, Miss Elphaba," Ama Clutch said, shutting me up by digging her nails into my elbow. "Good evening, Master Boq, and don't come back!" She steered us away from him, and I twisted back one last time, giving him a wave and a grin.

"Miss Elphaba, you were_ horrible_," Miss Galinda hissed at me.

"Says the girl who wants to draw naked pictures of herself all over my possessions."

* * *

I had a feeling that Miss Galinda wasn't going to forgive me anytime soon for arranging that little meeting, but she was a woman of surprises, as I was going to find out.

"Miss Elphaba! Before you leave, I have something for you."

I turned towards the blonde, raising an eyebrow. "You have something for me? And what would that be? A face full of water?"

"Oh, Miss Elphaba, the things you say. Since you seem to have problems with your wardrobe, I have decided to lend you some of my fashion tips and give you this." Miss Galinda brought her arms out from behind her back and held out a black pointed hat towards me.

I looked down at it. "Are you sure this is what our generation is wearing?"

"Oh yes. It's all the rage in the Uplands."

"Then why aren't you wearing one?"

Miss Galinda paused. "I… I left mine at home! It just doesn't sit right on my head, you see, but I'm sure that it would look just so… sharp on you!" Miss Galinda moved to place the hat on my head before I could stop her. "There, you see? Why, you're a stylish green woman if I ever saw one!"

"Which you never have, I'm sure," I said, repositioning the hat on my head so that I could see the blonde. "I have a feeling you may be lying to me, Miss Galinda."

"Now why would I do that?"

"We haven't exactly been on the best terms, have we, Miss Galinda?"

"Miss Elphaba, please," Miss Galinda said with a smile… one of the first she had willingly given me. "If there's one thing I know, it's fashion."

* * *

That night, Dr. Dillamond allowed me to leave early (in light of the dance that was being held) and when I arrived back to our room, I found Miss Galinda sitting at her vanity, fussing with hair.

"Need some help?" I asked, setting my bag down.

"No… I can do it."

"You seem to be struggling. Permit my assistance?"

Miss Galinda sighed, but didn't pull away when I approached and started to work. "Ouch! Be careful, you… vegetable!"

I chuckled, pulling the hairpins from my mouth, my other hand holding Miss Galinda's hair tightly in place. "Stay still. If you move around too much, I may make a mistake, and then you really would have something to be upset about." I replaced the hairpins in my mouth as my other hand twisted a different piece of Miss Galinda's hair into place. I held it there with one hand as I pulled one hairpin from my mouth, sliding it into her blonde curls and keeping the hair from falling.

"I'm trying to sit still, but it's rather difficult when you pull on my hair like that. It is still attached to my head, you know."

"Don't worry. I'm almost done." A few more twists and hairpins and, true to my word, I was done. "Well?"

The blonde turned her head, looking at my work. "It's… passable, I suppose."

"So glad I could be of service."

Miss Galinda stood and picked up her clutch. "I will be leaving now to meet Fiyero at the dance. Come… if you like."

"Have fun," I said, turning my attention to a book. Miss Galinda left the room, and the minute the door closed behind her, I lowered my literature. As impossible as it seemed, I had actually been considering going to the dance. Why was beyond me; I was never one to enjoy such social gatherings. Perhaps… could it be because of Miss Galinda's off-hand comment? Did I take that as an invitation? Still, why should it matter to her if I go? And why should it matter to me what she thinks or says?

"_You are thinking!"_

It had only been a tiny glimmer of hope, but… could it be that Miss Galinda was more than she let on? I wanted to think so… but why? Why did I care if Miss Galinda was more than the shallow person she portrayed herself as? This was all very frustrating, as I didn't like not having answers to my questions. I stood up, deciding that I would go to the dance, but only to observe. I grabbed the black hat Miss Galinda had given me and held it in my hands, looking down at it. I placed it on my head and left the room before I could change my mind.

My walk over to the Ozdust Ballroom was uneventful and I stopped outside the entrance. I could see other students entering… I could hear the music coming from the building. I knew that I could still back out, but that would just leave me wondering "what if".

I took a deep breath before I closed the gap between the entrance and myself. I stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at all the students dancing. A strange hush fell over the room as all eyes fell on me… but I was only looking for one person. She turned and her sapphire eyes met mine as laughter started to spread throughout the room. I thought I detected a hint of surprise, as though she hadn't been expecting me to actually show up, but I felt my own anger beginning to grow. She, she was going to feign surprise then, was she? She had set me up' I knew I looked ridiculous, standing there with my boots and a black pointed hat on my head. I snatched it from my head angrily, if only to diminish the ridicule a fraction. Miss Galinda took one step towards me, looking as though she had something to say to me, but she didn't get much further before _it_ happened.

It was as though time had suddenly slowed; one second, I was standing there, and then next, I felt something make contact with the top of my head before hitting the ground with a splatter. The laughter stopped as a collective gasp went throughout the room and I literally saw red. I looked up and saw a metal bucket above me, hanging from a rope. I took my glasses off and saw red paint dripping from the lenses.

Yes, this had definitely been a set up. I considered leaving, but that would be admitting defeat, now wouldn't it? I slipped my glasses back on and placed my hat back on my head before I descended the stairs, making my way to the middle of the room. Other students moved aside as I walked, and I told myself that it was because they didn't want to get red paint on their formal attire. Even though there was no music playing, I started to make up a sort of dance… in my own awkward way. What else could I do? This wasn't anymore embarrassing than having green skin and being covered in red paint.

I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder and I turned to see Miss Galinda standing beside me. "May I cut in?" she asked, and I noticed the slight tremble in her voice. I stepped aside, gesturing with my arm for her to go right on ahead. The blonde started to awkwardly copy my "dance" movements and I raised an eyebrow. She looked at me and offered me a slight smile. I couldn't help but smile back as I resumed dancing, and we fell into sync. I knew that people were staring at us, but I didn't care. It was just Miss Galinda and myself… and a dance I will never understand.


	6. Entry 6

"Elphaba… let's get you cleaned up," Galinda said, taking my arm and leading me into the bathroom. It was the very first time she had said my name without the honorific.

"Did you know?" I asked.

Miss Galinda didn't reply, but instead moved to remove my dress. I grabbed her hands, forcing her to look up into my eyes.

"I knew they were going to do something, but… I never expected this. I'm… sorry."

Could it be that the great Miss Galinda Upland was actually apologizing to me? And it almost sounded as though she actually_ meant_ it.

"Now, you really should wash up because you're leaving a trail of paint flakes behind you and I don't want them in our room."

Now that sounded more like the Miss Galinda that I knew. "As you wish."

Silence. Neither of us moved.

"Miss Galinda, surely you aren't going to watch me undress and wash up?" I said.

"O-oh. No, of course not." The blonde left the room and I closed the door behind her, locking it. I pulled my dress over my head and dropped it onto the floor, my undergarments soon following. I stepped into the tub with my bottle of oil and a washrag and began the process of cleaning myself up. My body was easy enough, but I knew that my hair would be a challenge. Putting oil in my hair would not be the best idea, as it was a pain to get out, but using water wouldn't be much easier. Finally, I resorted to wetting the rag with water and cleaning my hair as best I could.

When I had finished, I stepped out of the tub and ran the water through, watching the red flakes being swept away down the drain. I wrapped a towel around myself before I left the bathroom. I found with some surprise that Miss Galinda had pushed out beds together in the middle of the room, spreading her pink comforter across them both. I raised an eyebrow.

"And what is this?" I asked as I went over to my closet to grab a nightdress.

Miss Galinda didn't reply, and she didn't have to because at that moment, there was a loud crash of thunder outside and I froze in my tracks, my gaze immediately on the window.

"I thought you might like a distraction from the storm," Miss Galinda said, taking a seat on the bed, brushing her hair with a pink brush.

I didn't reply, but instead forced my feet to continue walking to my closet. I pulled out a nightdress and quickly dropped my towel as I pulled it over my head. I returned to where our beds were and sat down uncertainly.

"Oh, Miss Elphaba, really. I'm not going to bite."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. There. It was finally out.

"Doing what?"

"Acting like this towards me. I know it's not because you want to be… friends."

Miss Galinda stopped brushing with a sigh. "I figured it would be easier for us to live together if we didn't hate each other and made of an effort to at least… understand where the other is coming from." She looked at me and our eyes met. "We're not so different. We're both women. We both get our periods. Our anatomy is the same, even if my features are more… pronounced. The only thing is that you're green and I'm not."

That took me aback. "Miss Galinda… I can't recall ever hearing you say something so profound."

"I have my moments. You didn't think I got into Shiz just because of my money, did you?"

I laughed. "You don't want my answer to that."

"Look, this is not going to sound like me at all, and I can't really believe I'm saying this, but… can we at least try to be… friends?"

This time I raised both eyebrows. "I have no idea how to react to _that_."

"Oh, I knew you would say something like that! Just forget it!" She started to get off the bed, and I realized I had said the wrong thing.

"Miss Galinda, wait! All I meant was that… I've never had friends, so I don't… I don't quite know how it works, I suppose."

She looked back at me. "Then I guess this will be a learning experience for us both." Miss Galinda climbed back onto the bed and scooted closer to me. "Now, the first thing we'll do is tell each other a secret about ourselves."

"A secret?"

"Yes, as a sort of ice breaker, if you will."

Seeing Miss Galinda like this was like seeing a whole other girl. I had never seen her so… bubbly before, and I wasn't quite sure how to react to it.

"I'll tell you my secret first. Fiyero and I are getting married." At this, the blonde let out a small scream, causing me to jump in surprise.

"So he's already asked you?"

"Oh, he doesn't know yet."

"Oh." Yes, that was just like Miss Galinda.

"Now you tell me a secret," the blonde said.

"Like what?" I didn't have anything revealing to say about myself.

"Like… why do you sleep with this funny green bottle under your pillow?" The blonde reached under my pillow and pulled the item in question out. I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach.

"Give that back!" I shouted, reaching for it, but Miss Galinda jumped off the bed. I chased after her with a growl.

"Tell me why!"

"It was my mother's!" I shouted angrily, snatching it away from her. "That's all."

Miss Galinda gave me a strange look and I realized that I may have overreacted, but I didn't care. This was mine, and she had no right to just… take it. I returned the bottle to its place under my pillow.

"Does it hurt… to think about her?"

She was referring to my mother, I assumed. "I don't want to talk about her."

"Is that a yes?"

"I said I don't want to talk about her."

"All right." Miss Galinda sat back on the bed. "Well, now that we've done that, we can… gossip about all the innuendo and outuendo of Shiz!"

"Is gossiping all you know how to do?"

Miss Galinda made a face. "Oh, Elphie—do you like that? I just came up with it."

"It's a little… perky."

"Perfect. And you can call me… Galinda. But, anyway, don't make me sound like an airhead. We're trying to be nice to each other, remember?"

"Yes, I remember."

"And since we're being nice to each other, you're going to be nice and let me play with your hair."

"I am?"

"Please?"

"Why do you want to play with my hair in the first place?"

"Because it's so pretty, you mean green thing!"

I couldn't help but smile. "All right, all right. If it will satisfy you."

Galinda smiled as she moved behind me and began brushing my hair, which was painful at first, seeing as it was filled with knots from being washed.

"Easy! I want to keep my hair, you know," I said with a wince.

"Miss Elphaba Thropp, admitting to pain? Tonight is just a revealing night for us, isn't it?"

"I'm human as well. Remember all the similarities you pointed out between us."

Galinda set down the brush and I felt her hands running through my hair gently. "Oh, Elphie, it isn't fair that you have such beautiful hair," she sighed.

"It isn't fair that I'm green either, but no one ever said life was fair."

We were silent for as while, with Galinda continuing to play around with my hair. I don't know why I didn't stop here; before tonight, I never would have allowed this. There was another clap of thunder and I jumped. I felt Galinda's hand move to my shoulder.

"It's all right," she said.

"My mother died on a night like this," I said, my gaze on the absurdly pink comforter. "Right after Shell was born… she passed away. She never even got to see him."

"I'm sorry Elphie."

I shrugged. "Death is an inevitable part of life. Every day we die a little and get a little closer to the end. It was her time, and that's all. I was… eleven when she died, so I was lucky enough to spend some time with her, I suppose."

"You don't have to keep putting that hard shell up, Elphaba."

"I don't like feeling vulnerable."

I felt Galinda grab my hair and pull my head back so that I was looking up at her upside-down. "You're only human, remember?"

"As we've pointed out for the third time tonight."

Galinda leaned down, her blonde curls falling down and tickling the sides of my face. I didn't understand what she was doing, as our lips were mere inches apart. I felt my heart rate start to pick up. Dear Oz, what if she tried to kiss me? Wait… why had that thought even crossed my mind? Galinda had a boyfriend; what could she possibly see in me? And I wasn't attracted to Galinda at all… was I? I had never actually explored my sexuality before. Could it be possible that I was… well…?

"Only you could make glasses look good," the blonde finally said, sliding the aforementioned eyewear off my face. She was still so close to me that I could make out her features even without my glasses.

"They're not really a fashion statement," I said, finally finding my own voice.

Galinda leaned in closer to me (if that was even possible) and her lips lingered so closely above mine that my own lips began to tingle in a very unfamiliar (and perhaps unwelcome) way. I heard Galinda inhale softly… and then she pulled away, releasing me from her hold. I turned around to face her, wanting, _dying_ to ask her what had just happened. I had never, _never_ before in my life felt towards anyone the way I was feeling towards her now. Was it love? I didn't know. What does love feel like? One can't compare a feeling if they've never felt it before.

"What?" Galinda asked. I realized that I had been staring, and I'm sure my dark eyes could be a little… unsettling.

I wasn't one to take risks. I wasn't the type of person to act on impulses. So for me to lean forward, close the gap between my blonde roommate and myself, and to press my lips in a hesitant kiss against hers was completely and utterly unthinkable. Hell, even I couldn't believe I was doing it. It wasn't me at all!

I expected her to shove me away. I expected her to scream and curse at me. When neither of those things happened, I didn't know whether to be excited or terrified. After a few seconds, I pulled away and was surprised at the look in Galinda's eyes. They were filled with intrigue and slight confusion, but the fact that she didn't say anything scared me the most. I opened my mouth to apologize; I didn't know what had come over me and that had been completely out of line.

The words didn't even have the chance to leave my mouth before Galinda moved in, covering my mouth with her own in another kiss, her hand moving back to entangle itself in my dark hair. I raised one hand hesitantly and placed it behind her neck, daring to pull her closer.

Oh, sweet Oz, what had I gotten myself into this time? I never knew what to expect from my first kiss, if I was ever to receive one, but I had never foreseen that it would be with another woman, and especially not Galinda. A girl with such popularity and a perfect boyfriend and—

Oh, no. If this went any further and her friends found out… Galinda would be ruined and it would be my fault. I would never be able to live with myself. I had to end this right now, before it got out of hand.

With what I believe was reluctance, I pulled away from Galinda. The look on her face was one I couldn't read.

"It's late. We should go to sleep," I said.

Galinda just nodded, raising a hand to her lips slowly and touching them lightly. We both got off our beds and moved them back to their original positions. I extinguished my lap before sliding under the blankets and pulling them up high, turning my back to the blonde. Her lap went out and I heard her move underneath her blankets at well.

I've never heard silence quite this loud.

* * *

The next morning, I had planned on going down to the dining hall and bringing back breakfast for the both of us as a way of apologizing for my actions last night, but after slipping my glasses on and turning towards the blonde's bed, I found that it was empty. My brow furrowed in confusion. This was odd. Galinda was never awake before me, and especially on a Saturday. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. As I did so, my eyes fell on an envelope lying on my desk. My name was written on the front in cursive and I picked it up, seeing as it was obviously for me. Inside was a letter, written on thin pink paper that was quite potent.

_Elphaba,_

_By the time you read this, Fiyero and I will have left for the winter break. Yes, I realize that it does not technically start until next week, but I needed to get away. Not because I am angry with you, but because I need time to think about what happened between us last night. I don't know why it happened, or why neither of us tried to stop it, but the fact is that it did happen, and I think we both need time away from each other. I still think that a friendship can be forged between us, but whatever caused that… intimacy last night needs to be addressed. If you have feelings for me… well, I don't know if I could ever return them fully. I love Fiyero, I really do, and if you do have feelings for me… then seeing me with him must be painful for you. Please… please don't love me. I could never bear the thought of being the cause of your pain, not after you finally opened up to me._

_Please don't come looking for me. I can't bear to see you again, not while we're in this stage. I hope you have a pleasant winter break with your family, and that when we return to Shiz, you will have found yourself… and figured out what you want._

_Sincerely,_

_Galinda Upland_

I read the letter again, and then a third time. Galinda had left early because of… me? She said she wasn't angry; she just needed time to think. The letter unsettled me, of course, but also because she was practically begging me not to love her. I didn't even know if I loved her in the first place! But now she had just transformed herself into the forbidden fruit. She said no and now I wanted to love her even more. Was it just to spite her? I don't know, but I know that this new feeling was starting to come over me faster than I could push it away.

I used to think that I was only afraid of rainstorms, but in that moment, I realized that I was afraid of something else: letting Galinda Upland into my life… and my heart.

* * *

"Elphaba? Elphaba?"

I looked up at the sound of my name, feeling as though I was coming up for air out of a stagnant pool. I found myself looking at Boq. "How did you find me?"

"I figured you'd be hiding out in a place like this. Away from campus, tucked in a corner of town… it just says you."

"I didn't realize I was so predictable."

Boq sat down across from me and I set my book down. "Elphaba, are you feeling all right?"

"Why? Am I a little green?"

"That's not funny, Elphaba. I mean it."

"As did I."

"Did something happen between you and Miss Galinda?"

I froze. "Why would you think that?" I asked as my thoughts went to the letter stuffed in my bag. I couldn't go anywhere without its words haunting me.

"You've been acting... different. And she's gone."

"You think I scared her off?"

"N-no! I just…"

I sighed. "Miss Galinda has left for the winter break. I have the room all to myself now. Why ever should I be in a foul mood? I see a flaw in your logic, Boq."

"You know, when you're sarcastic like that, it usually means that you don't want to admit to being wrong."

"Oh really? Well, fuck you and your interpretations of me."

"Elphaba!"

"What? You've never heard me swear before?"

"Swearing has no nobility, Elphaba."

"And what would you know about nobility? You are beneath such high standards."

"And you're above me?"

"I am neither high class, nor am I poor. You could call me middle class, but then again, everyone calls themselves that. I find that I am different than most: I can converse with others who are not my kind. What would you call me then, Master Boq?"

"I don't think anyone has a name for what you are, Elphaba."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted by that, so for your sake, I'll take it as a compliment."

"Elphaba, you still haven't answered my question."

"Ah, yes. Forgive me. To answer your question: what goes on between Miss Galinda and myself is no one's business but our own. You shouldn't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, Boq. That's how people get hurt."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Of course not," I said, standing up. "I'm just offering you some friendly advice. You and everyone else would do well to stay out of our affairs." I picked up my bag, slipping it onto my shoulder. "And now I bid you farewell, and hope you enjoy your winter break."

"Elphaba—"

But I was already leaving the small coffee shop, the bell tinkling as the door closed behind me.

* * *

"Fabala! She's back, she's back! Father, Fabala's back!"

I smiled as I saw Shell running towards me. I set down my suitcase as he threw himself at me in a tight embrace, almost knocking me over.

"Easy, Shell. You're not as small as you used to be," I said as I hugged him back.

"Or maybe you're just weak!"

"Me? Weak?" I picked my brother up, flipping him over and holding him upside-down. "You must be joking."

Shell laughed, wriggling in my grip.

"Elphaba! Put him down before you drop him on his head!"

I looked up at Nessa's voice and saw her wheeling over to us.

"Don't worry, Nessie. I haven't dropped him yet."

"Yes, well, you shouldn't tempt fate."

"I see your sense of humor remains unchanged from when I left."

"Nessa's a stick in the mud!" Shell sang.

"Hey, you be nice to your sister, or I will drop you on your head."

Shell stuck his tongue out at me and I set him down on his back. He jumped to his feet and ran past Nessa, flicking her in the head before running off with a laugh.

"Great. You got him all worked up now," Nessa said, crossing her arms.

"I apologize. I won't let him give you anymore trouble."

Nessa tried to scowl at me, but it turned into a smile. "It's nice to see you, Elphaba."

"You too, Nessie," I said, embracing my sister. "So, how had everything been since I left?" I asked, picking up my suitcase and wheeling my sister back up to our house.

"Nothing has changed much."

"That was a very vague answer, in which you told me absolutely nothing."

"What do you want me to say, Elphaba? Life goes on as usual; the only difference is that you're not around, which leaves us with a lack of cynicism."

"Oh, Nessie, is that all I mean to you?"

"That guilt trip is not going to work on me, Elphaba."

I grinned as we entered the house, and I closed the door behind us.

* * *

"Stop touching me."

"I'm not touching you."

"Stop touching me!"

"I'm not touching you."

"Father!"

"Shell, stop touching your sister."

"I'm not touching her! Elphaba!"

"He's not touching her."

"Elphaba!"

"Sorry, Nessa, but technically, he wasn't touching you."

My sister sighed in frustration, but I couldn't help but smile. As strange as it seemed, I actually missed this.

"See? Elphaba said I was right!" Shell said.

"Well, if Elphaba said it, then it must be true," Nessa said, putting a hand to her temples.

"You're starting to see the light, Nessie," I said, standing up before she or my father could comment on that. "Is everyone done?"

"Almost!" Shell said before he slurped down the rest of his soup, ending with a rather loud belch. "Okay, I'm done."

"Ugh," Nessa groaned, obviously disgusted.

I couldn't help but grin as I collected up the bowls. "Nice," I said as I carried the bowls over to the sink. I started to hiccough, but it came out as a small burp instead.

"Elphaba!" Nessa cried, while Shell laughed.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Do excuse me," I said, but the grin didn't leave my face. "All right, Shell, come on over here and clean these up."

"Make Nessa do it!"

"Nessa is not tall enough to reach the sink."

Shell mumbled some incoherent, angry words as he got down from his chair and stomped over to the sink. He gave me a scowl and I ruffled the hair on top of his head.

"You're a good kid," I said. "Have fun." I left the room and went into my own, which was dark. I fell onto the bed with a sigh. Now that I had time to myself, my thoughts inevitably wandered back to Galinda. I wondered what she was doing right now. Was she with Fiyero? Was she alone? Had she eaten already? What was she wearing?

I sat up. This was absurd! Now this was turning into an obsession! I tried to clear these thoughts from my mind by grabbing a book and reading, but that didn't help at all. Well, the fact that the lights weren't on may have had something to do with that, but who pays attention to such minute details?

"Shell! I said don't touch me!"

"Nessa's a stick in the mud!"

"FATHER!"

I grinned. Yes, there was definitely no place like home. Hopefully being here would help me forget about Galinda… at least for the time being.

* * *

WHUMP

"Wake up!"

I groaned as seventy pounds of Shell came crashing down on my chest. I looked up at his grinning face, still trying to fully wake up. I definitely did not miss this. "What time is it?"

"Day time."

I rolled, throwing Shell to the floor. "Come back later," I said, starting to drift off again, but Shell was not going to allow that. He jumped on me again, this time bouncing up and down.

"Wake up, wake up!"

"Okay, okay! Stop jumping on me. I'm getting up."

"Hurry up!" Shell jumped off my bed and streaked out of the room. I sat up, stretching with a yawn. I looked out the window and saw that the sun was just starting rise. I hoped Shell wasn't planning on waking me up like this for the rest of the winter break, or I would be a very unhappy Thropp. I got out of bed and got dressed, meeting Shell outside my room.

"Took you long enough!" he said.

"So sorry. Are you ready to do… whatever you woke me up to do?"

"Yeah!"

Soon enough, Shell and I were trekking through the nearby woods, a backpack full of empty glass jars and a net in hand. It rarely snowed in Munchkinland, but this winter was a rather cold one, so a layer of frost coated the ground. Ice crunched beneath my boots as I walked behind Shell, who was running ahead.

"Don't go too far," I called.

"Keep up, slowpoke!"

I smiled as I shook my head. "Shell, keep in mind that it's winter. There may not be a lot of—"

"I found one!" Shell started running.

"Wait!" I called, running after him before he could disappear from my sight. I saw him drop his net and start climbing up a tree. "Shell, come back down!"

"I'm gonna catch him!"

"Shell!" But, like his eldest sister, Shell was stubborn, so I could only watch from below as he climbed higher into the tree. "Be careful! Father will kill me if anything happens to you."

"You sound like Nessa," Shell called down to me as he started scooching across a branch. There was a sudden snapping nose and Shell was falling.

"I've got you!" I called, moving beneath my brother, arms outstretched. He fell right on top of me and we both hit the ground, Shell on top of me. I sat up, rubbing the back of my head. "Are you okay?"

"I got him! Quick, gimme a jar!"

"Wha—"

Shell was already rummaging through the backpack. He pulled out a jar, opened it, and stuck something inside before closing it up again. "See?" he said, holding up the jar. I looked at what was inside and saw a bright orange newt.

"You climbed a tree for that?"

"Yeah! I got a lizard now!"

"Shell, that's not a lizard."

His face fell slightly. "It's not?"

"Nope."

"What is it then?"

"It's a newt."

He made a face. "What's that?"

"It's like a lizard, but it can live in the water."

"Cool!"

I grinned as I stood up. "No more stunts like that, okay? I have enough stress in my life without having to worry about you falling out of trees."

"Deal."

When we arrived back home, our jars filled with an assortment of fun creatures, we found that the other two members of our family were still asleep.

"I'm going to make breakfast, Shell. Go put those in your room… and make sure they get water!" I called as my brother scampered away. I shook my head as I turned my attention to making breakfast. It soon became apparent, however, that my father hadn't exactly been keeping up with the groceries. That would be next on my to do list then… right after cleaning the house and tending to the yard. With me gone, it seemed as though a lot less work was done. Nessa couldn't do much, what with her condition, and my father was too busy. Shell was the only one capable of taking over my duties, but I knew he was too young to take responsibility… that would have to change, though.

A sudden scream rang throughout the house and the pot I was using crashed to the ground as I jumped, startled. I turned on my heel and started running to Nessa's room; only she had that blood-curdling scream.

"SHELL!"

I banged the door open and found Shell doubled over with laughter, while Nessa was lying on the floor in a heap of tangled blankets.

"What's going on?" I asked, going to Nessa's side.

"Shell put something in my bed!" Nessa shouted, still trying to free herself.

"Shell," I said.

"It was just a little frog. She… she jumped so bad!" Shell managed through his laughter.

"It was right in front of my face!" Nessa shouted back.

"Easy, Nessa," I said, helping to untangle her. I picked her up off the floor and set her on her bed. "Oh, you're bleeding."

Nessa put a hand to her forehead. "I'm fine."

"Hold on. I'll help you clean it up." I turned to Shell, whose laughter was starting to die away. I grabbed him by the back of his shirt with a low growl as I started to drag him from the room.

"Hey!"

"You need to learn when enough is enough, Shell!"

"It was a joke!"

"That was not funny. Nessa could have really been hurt. Stop tormenting her."

"Fabala—"

"No. If you keep this up, you will have to answer to me. Got it?"

Shell nodded and I released him. He glared at me before running off. I shook my head before I headed into the bathroom, picking up a rag and dampening it a little. I returned to Nessa's room, where I found her with a hand to her forehead.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked as I pressed the rag against her wound gently.

"I'm fine, Elphaba. It's just a little scratch."

I knew she was fine, but I couldn't help it. I had always been overprotective of my Nessarose, considering the fact that it was my fault she in a wheelchair. If I hadn't been born green, my mother wouldn't have chewed milk flowers during her pregnancy with Nessa, and Nessa wouldn't have come out… well, it was my fault.

"I've dealt with Shell. He shouldn't bother you anymore," I said, lowering the rag. "I'm sorry this happened."

"Well, if you didn't… instigate him, this wouldn't happen!"

"I know. I'm sorry."

Nessa sighed, and I knew she wasn't really mad at me. "What's on the list for today?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Well, I have to clean the house, tidy up the yard, and go shopping for groceries."

"Sounds like you'll be busy for a while." Nessa pulled her chair towards her before she lowered herself into it. "Maybe I'll help you… if I feel so inclined."

I smiled as she wheeled out of the room. "You're so good to me, Nessie."


	7. Entry 7

"Hey! Watch where you're dropping that stuff!"

"Sorry Nessie," I said down to her. I was currently standing on a ladder, cleaning out the gutter. Nessa was down below with bucket, trying to catch whatever I threw down. No, it was not a pretty job, but it had to be done, and I was the only one who could climb the ladder. I suppose my height gave me an advantage as well, but it was mainly because only I could climb the ladder… safely.

"How much longer?" Nessa called up to me.

"I'm almost done." I took another handful of wet leaves and threw them down to my sister. "That should be the last one. I'm coming down."

"Be careful."

"I'm always careful," I replied, looking over my shoulder with a grin. Unfortunately, that movement caused the ladder to start falling backwards.

"Elphaba!"

I looked down and quickly threw an arm out, stopping the ladder in its tracks. I lowered it slowly back against the house and let out a sigh, realizing that I had been holding my breath. I descended the ladder and turned to see Nessa staring at me, her hands still over her mouth.

"Elphaba… I thought you didn't use your… power anymore," she finally said, lowering her hands.

"Well, it was either do that, or come crashing down onto my back, which is a very unpleasant experience, I hear."

Nessa just shook her head. "Hold on. My heart rate is still returning to normal speed."

I took the bucket from her. "I'll go dump this and then we can leave to go shopping."

"We?" Nessa asked, turning her chair as I walked around the corner of the house.

"I assumed you wanted to come with me. Did you not?" I replied, emptying the bucket and setting it down before I returned to where she was.

"Elphaba. Nessa. Come inside," our father said from the doorway. Nessa and I exchanged looks before went entered the house.

"Is something wrong?" Nessa asked as I closed the door behind us.

"No. I will be leaving this afternoon for the Gillikin, and I will not be back until next week. While I am gone, you will be in charge of taking care of your siblings, Elphaba."

I nodded.

"I trust you will all behave while I am gone?"

"Yes Father."

* * *

"Shell, get off the table right now!"

My brother stuck his tongue out at me. "Make me!"

I set my jaw, trying to keep my temper under control. Shell was still upset about me yelling at him earlier, so he was acting up as his way of getting back at me. "Don't make me come over there, Shell!"

Shell crossed his arms and gave me a smug look; he wasn't going anywhere. Not of his own free will, that was.

"That's it!" I started for the table and Shell jumped down with a laugh, but I wasn't going to let him get away that easy. I grabbed him as he tried to run past me, and slung him over my shoulder. "Just because you're angry with me doesn't mean you get to act up! With Father gone, I'm in charge, and if you don't listen—"

"Elphaba, put him down!" Nessa said, wheeling into the room. "You're going to—"

It was at that moment that Shell hawked back and spat at the brunette. A large spitball landed on her face and she shrieked in disgust.

"Shell!" she screeched, coming at him. The two began a slap fight.

"Stop it!" I shouted, trying to hold Shell back with both hands while I used my foot to hold Nessa off.

"I'm going to kill you, Shell!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

"Both of you better knock it off, or I'm going to—"

A knock on the door interrupted us and we all looked up. I went over and opened it, finding Boq standing there.

"Hello, Elphaba. Uh… is now a bad time?" he asked.

"No. No, why would you think that?"

"Uh…"

I realized that I was still holding Shell over my shoulder. "Oh, um… this is my brother, Shell," I said, setting him down. Shell ran off before Boq could react. "If you even go near Nessa, you're going to be in so much trouble!"

"I didn't know you had siblings. He's not…"

"He's not green, you can say it. No, I'm the only one with that affliction."

A pause.

"Oh, silly me. Would you like to come in?"

"Sure. Thank you." Boq stepped inside and I closed the door behind him.

"So, what can I do for you? Surely you didn't come just to visit me," I said.

"I came to ask you if you were going to the Lurlinemas celebration being held for Shiz students tomorrow night."

"A Lurlinemas celebration? I hadn't heard anything about that."

"I see. But… would you want to go?"

I laughed humorlessly. "Boq, did you forget what happened the last time I attended such a social event?"

"I know, but that was at the beginning of the year. Besides, you're starting to become old news, and this time you won't be alone."

"Ah, because you'd be so kind as to escort me?"

"What are friends for, right?"

"I wouldn't know, not having any friends of my own. Anyway, I thank you for your offer, but I really can't go. I have to stay and take care of my siblings."

"Elphaba—"

"I do apologize."

"Can't you find someone to take care of them?"

"Not with such short notice."

"But—"

"Shell, you'd better stay out of my room!"

"I'm not in your room!"

"Elphaba!"

"Shell, you'd better stay out of Nessa's room before I come up there!" I shouted. I sighed and turned my attention back to Boq. "You see why I can't leave. If I leave those two alone, they'll most likely kill each other."

"But Elphaba—"

"I really can't."

"Miss Galinda will be there."

I visibly stiffened. So that was his trump card then. "What does it matter to me if Miss Galinda attends? It is most likely being held at her family's estate anyway."

"You seemed pretty upset when she left. I assumed you wanted to—"

"There's your flaw, Boq. You assumed. One should never assume, and do you know why?"

"No."

"Because when you assume, you make an 'ass' out of 'you' and 'me'. "

"Very clever."

"I try."

Boq sighed. "Are you sure you don't want to go? The bus is going to leave in half and hour. We can still make it."

The truth was, I did want to go, but only because it meant seeing Galinda. I remembered that in her letter that she had told me not to come looking for her, but if this was a social gathering for Shiz students, then it didn't really count… right?

"Boq… I would, really, but I just can't leave my siblings here alone."

"Oh, just go Elphaba."

I turned to see Nessa wheeling down the hall towards her, shaking her head.

"Nessa—"

"I can take care of Shell."

"He'll drive you insane if I'm not here to stop him."

"I don't know why in Oz you'd want to attend something like that, but I do know that you need to get out of this house."

I gave her a half-smile before I leaned down and kissed her on top of her head. "Thank you, Nessie. I promise I'll make this up to you."

"Yes, yes. Just go."

"Shell! Come here!" I called. My brother appeared a few moments later. I kneeled down to his level. "I'm going to be gone for a few days, and Nessa's going to be in charge. While I'm gone, you need to listen to her and do what she says okay?"

Shell crossed his arms and looked away, but I put a hand on the top of his head and turned him to look at me.

"And if you're good, I'll bring you back a surprise, okay?"

Shell's face brightened a little. "Promise?"

"I promise."

Shell hugged me and I returned the gesture before standing up. "All right. Both of you behave. I'll be back in two days."

* * *

"Well, this is certainly fun. I can't imagine why I didn't want to come onto a bus crowded with obnoxious students to go to some party that will take hours to get to," I said as I sat down beside the window, holding my bag in my lap.

"Oh, stop. This is part of the experience, so enjoy it," Boq said, sitting beside me.

I rolled my eyes. "I want you to understand that I am not going on this trip solely because Miss Galinda happens to be attending as well," I said.

"Of course not, Elphaba."

I scowled at him as I pulled a book from my bag and began to read as the bus began to move forward. It appeared as though Munchkinland had been the last stop, as the bus was quite crowded, and we were on the road to Frottica.

"Boq! So you did decide to come out to the party?" a boy asked, leaning back over the seat. "And you brought a date!"

"No, Elphaba and I are just friends," Boq replied. "Elphaba, this is Avaric."

"Hello," I said, not looking up.

"I've seen you around before," Master Avaric said.

"I'm sure you have."

"How about a tune to make this trip more lively, eh?" Master Avaric said, turning back around in his seat.

"Please, no," I groaned, looking up, but it was too late.

"_It's nine o'clock on a Saturday_

_The regular crowd shuffles in_

_There's an old man sitting next to me_

_Makin' love to his tonic and gin_"

Master Avaric grinned while Boq put a hand to his face, shaking his head. "Everyone now!"

"_He says, 'Son, can you play me a memory_

_I'm not really sure how it goes_

_But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete_

_When I wore a younger man's clothes'_

_La la la, di da da_

_La la, di da da da dum_

_Sing us a song, you're the piano man_

_Sing us a song tonight_

_Well, we're all in the mood for a melody_

_And you've got us feelin' alright_"

I looked at Boq, a hand to my temple. "Oh yes. I'm _so_ glad I didn't miss _this_."

"_Now John at the bar is a friend of mine_

_He gets me my drinks for free_

_And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke_

_But there's someplace that he'd rather be…"_

_

* * *

_

When we finally did arrive in Frottica the next morning, I was sure that my head was going to explode. I could not take this anymore! Didn't anyone on this Ozdamned bus sleep? It seemed as though they had all been singing the entire trip, and Master Avaric… well, I knew that he and I were never going to be on good terms.

As I stepped off the bus with the others, I found that I had been correct: the celebration was being held on a beach that was an extension of the Upland estate. I also found out that the plan was as follows: go to the Lurlinemas service first, then party into the night and leave early the next morning. I was grateful that I had managed to get some sleep on the bus, even though I had been rudely awakened by another rousing rendition of "Piano Man", which I had heard so many times that I was sure it had worn a permanent groove into my brain.

"Welcome, everyone, to our Lurlinemas celebration," Mr. Upland said, approaching the group. "As you all know, you must attend the Lurlinemas service before you may go on to the festivities."

There was a collective groan, but going to a service didn't bother me. I had been dragged to so many by my father that it was a part of my life.

"I know, I know, but just think: it's only three hours of your time, and then you will be free to 'party', as you like to say."

A cheer to that and then we were all moving towards the chapel.

"A service before a party… smart, I suppose," Boq said as we walked.

"Yes, well, I feel sorry for whoever has to preach to this rowdy group," I replied as we entered the building. Boq and I sat in the middle row and I discreetly started searching the faces for—

There she was, right in the front, her arm linked with his. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I looked at her. She was beautiful, wearing a powder blue dress and a matching ribbon in her hair. Wait… since when had I been so concerned with her attire? Or her looks, for that matter?

I was so busy staring at her and thinking these troubling thoughts that I didn't notice who was walking up to the front of the room.

"Good morning, Shiz students. My name is Frexspar Thropp and I will be leading the Lurlinemas celebration."

Oh, shit. Shit, shit, this was not good! When my father had told me he was going to the Gillikin, I didn't think he would be coming _here_. If he saw me, I would be dead for sure! I slouched far down in my seat, trying to hide behind the short girl in front of me.

"What are you doing?" Boq whispered.

"Remember how I told you I was supposed to be watching my siblings?"

"Yes…"

"Boq, that is my _father_! If he sees me here, instead of at home, I will no longer be attending Shiz because I will be dead!" I hissed.

"Oh, Elphaba, you're exaggerating."

"Would you like to find out, because I sure as hell wouldn't!"

"Look, we just have to make it through the service; I'll do what I can to help you avoid detection, okay?"

I sighed. It would be a long service.

* * *

My father was good at what he did because he was passionate about it. Though that passion sometimes led others to see him as… eccentric, was the word?

"You must cast aside the evils of your culture, and repent; ask for forgiveness for your sins!"

I covered my face with my hands as I heard quiet whispering and giggling around me. This was exceedingly embarrassing… and it wouldn't have as bad if hadn't announced his last name. I already had enough to be teased about; I didn't need my father feeding my classmates additional ammunition.

"Your father is really into this," Boq whispered.

"He lives for this," I replied, not lowering my hands. "How much longer?"

Boq snuck a glance at his pocket watch. "Ten minutes."

"Thank Oz."

The minute my father finished talking and announced that he had finished, everyone immediately jumped up and headed for the exit. I quickly got up as well, trying to hide within the others. I could get away… I had managed to avoid my father for this long.

"Elphaba, your dad is kind of crazy," Master Avaric said, coming out of nowhere and putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Get off of me," I growled. "And he is not crazy. He's… passionate."

"If that's what you want to call it. But why so quick to run away, Elphaba? Don't you want to see him?"

"No! No, I do not, now get off of me!"

"Come on, Elphaba. I'll go with you." He started to pull me back into the chapel.

I panicked. I grabbed his arm and flipped him over my shoulder, slamming his back into the ground before I fled, pushing my way through the crowd. I managed to find a secluded area behind the house and I leaned against the wall, my heart racing. That had been way too close. I never should have come here. Damn that Boq! And Nessa, being so willing to let me leave! She wanted me to get caught!

I sighed. It didn't matter now. I had managed to avoid my father, and now I had other things to worry about, namely one Galinda Upland. What would she do when she saw me? Would she be angry? Would she even acknowledge me, or just ignore me? Based on her letter, it sounded as though she wanted nothing to do with me for the time being. Still, I couldn't hide forever.

I moved away from the building and started walking back to where the actual party was being held, which was down on the beach. Oh, the beach. How I detested the beach. Sand managed to get in every orifice of one's body, and, of course, the water was an issue as well. Still, I had to bear it, though I definitely would not be grinning.

Upon my arrival, I saw that a sort of mini-bar had been set up, along with copious amounts of food. Students were partaking in a random assortment of sports, but I had no interest in joining any of them.

"Elphaba!"

I groaned, not bothering to hide my disdain. "I do not want to talk to you at all."

"Don't worry. I'm not upset about what you did earlier," Master Avaric said, coming over to lean on me. His breath smelled heavily of liquor and I pushed him away, surprised that he was already this drunk.

"So glad to hear it, but that doesn't mean I want to be friends," I said.

"Oh, Elphaba, you're a girl. You don't know what you want; you have to be told."

I set my jaw. "I'm going to let that slide, but only because you appear to be extremely intoxicated."

"What are you two up to?" Boq asked, coming up beside us.

"I was just about to leave," I replied, turning in my stool, but Master Avaric grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Come on, Elphaba. Stay and chat with us," he said.

"I'd rather stick my arm into a pail of water."

Both Boq and Master Avaric looked confused at this, and I realized that they didn't get it. Too bad for them; I didn't feel like explaining myself.

"I'd prefer you didn't."

I froze. I knew that voice.

"Miss Galinda! Your parents throw an amazing party," Master Avaric said.

"Yes, it is quite nice, isn't it?"

I still refused to look at the blonde. Perhaps if I stayed perfectly still, she wouldn't realize that I was here.

"Hello, Master Boq."

"H-Hello, Miss Galinda."

"Hello Miss Elphaba."

I should have seen this coming. I turned to look at the blonde. "Hello."

"I didn't think you'd come."

"I didn't think I'd come either. We can both blame Boq for this appearance."

Galinda nodded. "Might I… have a word with you?"

Oh, this was what I had been dreading. Still, I couldn't refuse, so I just nodded, my voice failing me for once. I followed the blonde away from the crowd and eventually we reached an empty stretch of beach.

It was silent for a while, and then Galinda turned to look at me. "Why did you come?"

"I told you, somehow I allowed Boq into convincing me to come."

"Yes, I heard you say that, but I'm afraid I don't quite believe you. I have a feeling you came because of me, after I specifically told you in my letter not to."

"It has been proven that when you tell someone not to do something, they are much more likely to do it."

Galinda gave me a look and I sighed. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't just leave our… relationship where it was. I wanted to… clear things up."

"That night… what happened between us… whatever we may have felt… just forget it ever happened."

I started to nod, but stopped. "We? Galinda… what do you mean… we?"

The blonde didn't reply.

"Did you… did you feel something too?"

"I felt… embarrassed that I allowed it to happen at all!"

Oh, that was not the feeling I had felt. Wait… "You're lying."

"How dare you call me a liar!"

"Galinda, something I've noticed about you is that your left eyebrow twitches when you lie."

The blonde looked taken aback by this and she looked away from me. Eventually, she sighed and her eyes locked with mine. "Fine. I wasn't embarrassed. I just… I never thought that I was attracted to… girls. And… you're green, Elphie. I don't mean that in an insulting way, but it's just… it's just not…"

"It's not natural," I finished for her. Galinda nodded. "I understand that this is beyond your realm of society. You have been brought up a certain way, and so have I. We've both been taught that because we're women… we should be attracted to men. It's the order of things."

Galinda nodded again. "Besides… we're not… in love or anything, right? That night… there was just a lot of… emotions and hormones."

I nodded. "Right."

"A-and every girl is a little curious, right? I mean, it's only natural for us to want to maybe… experiment a little, right?"

"Of course."

We both nodded, though I highly doubted we really believed what we were saying.

"But… we could… still be… friends… right?" Galinda said.

I looked at her before nodding slowly. "Yes… I think I'd like to try that."

"And… it might… reveal something… to us…"

I raised an eyebrow. Was she suggesting that our friendship could potentially lead to… something else? A romantic involvement, maybe? I chose to not comment on that remark; instead, I just nodded.

"Well… shall we get back before everyone wonders where we've run off to?" Galinda said.

"Yes. That… that sounds like a good idea."

Galinda nodded and we both made our way back to where everyone else was.

* * *

_Galinda wants to be friends. I'd like to have a friend… but I still can't help but wonder what she meant about our friendship being "revealing". It's not possible that she's referring to… a relationship… right? I don't like this uncertainty. I don't like this ambiguity. I want answers… I want to know what's going on. I want to know… what is this feeling?_

**Song used: Piano Man by Billy Joel**


	8. Entry 8

After the close call with my father at the Upland estate, everything else that happened during the break was rather mundane, and soon enough, I was on my way back to Shiz. Upon arriving back in our room, I found that Galinda had not yet returned. I sighed and went over to my bed, setting my suitcase on it. I opened it up and started unpacking the few possessions I had taken home with me. A few books, some underwear, a dress, and look at that, I was done in a matter of minutes.

I heard a thump behind me and I turned to see the blonde struggling to get her suitcases through the door. I couldn't help but smile at that. "Here, let me help you," I said, approaching her and taking one of the suitcases. I carried it inside and placed it by her bed. Galinda set the suitcases she was carrying down and looked up at me. Her eyes traveled up and down my body. "What?"

"You're still wearing that awful thing?" she finally said.

I followed her gaze up and realized that she was talking about the black hat on my head. I took it off and looked at it. "You gave it to me, and prank or not, it's a gift. Besides, I think it sort of fits me, don't you?"

"I guess, but it makes me feel somewhat guilty every time I see it."

I grinned as I placed the hat back on my head. "All the more reason for me to wear it."

"You're terrible." The blonde let out a cough and I immediately took a step away from her.

"Are you getting sick because I cannot afford to be sick," I said.

"I'm not sick. It was just an innocent—" The blonde broke out into a coughing fit and I took another step back, holding my hat in front of me as a defense. "Cough," Galinda finished.

"Riiiiight… okay, how about you stay on your side, and I'll stay on mine. Deal?"

Galinda glared at me before she coughed in my direction in a rather exaggerated way, taking a step towards me.

"No! No, you stay away you… germ-infested roommate!"

"What? You don't like me coughing in your direction?" the blonde asked, coughing again.

"I don't want your _germs_ in my direction!"

"But I haven't seen you in _soooo_ long. Let me give you a hug to show my affection."

I wouldn't have run from that room faster if it had been on fire.

* * *

"Good afternoon everyone," Dr. Dillamond said as he entered the room. "I trust that you all enjoyed the winter break… and some of your classmates seem to still be enjoying it."

It was most likely true; more than half of the class was absent, but I wasn't surprised in the slightest. Most likely nursing hangovers was my guess. I would bet good money that that's what Master Avaric was doing as well.

"Excuse me? Is this Dr. Dillamond's history class?" a voice suddenly asked.

"Yes, it is. And you are…?"

"Oh, I just transferred here. Excuse my interruption."

I heard all the girls immediately sigh with adoration, and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to give this new boy any of my attention. Nope, he wouldn't get a thing from me—

"My name is Garrett."

I froze. That name… I broke the vow I had made five seconds ago and turned my attention to the new boy.

Blonde hair falling into painfully icy blue eyes.

_Blonde hair falling into painfully icy blue eyes. "Don't worry. I'll be here the whole time."_

"_You'd better be. You got me into this," she said, but there was a playful edge to her voice._

"_Just squeeze my hand when it hurts, okay?"_

There suddenly wasn't enough air in the room.

"_You are never going to see that boy again!"_

"_You don't understand, Father, I love him!"_

I became aware that I was starting to hyperventilate.

"_No one will keep me away from you, Elphaba!"_

I grabbed the desk for support, my entire body trembling.

"_It's her! She's the one doing it!"_

A thud and I was on the floor, violent spasms coursing through my body, causing my head to smack against the floor repeatedly.

"Elphaba!" Galinda's face was over mine, terror and concern washing over her features. It was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

"_What do you mean, you're not going to the dance?"_

_She smiled, shaking her head. "And who would ask me to go?"_

"_I would."_

"… phaba…"

Distorted voices… blurry figures blocking out the light... darkness again.

_Her lips met his in a gentle kiss… and then another, with more confidence. She could feel his hand traveling up her thigh… and then it was pressing against her small bundle of nerves._

"_He's kissing the green bean!"_

_Light was suddenly shed on the two, and he raised his hand, revealing that his fingers were coated in blood. There was an explosion of laughter._

"_Elphaba's got her period!"_

"_Fabala, don't you let them get to you—"_

_The laughter turned to screams… and he was still sitting beside her, blood running from the corner of his mouth._

"Elphaba? Elphaba, can you hear me?"

I opened my eyes weakly to find myself staring at a white ceiling. I turned my head and saw Galinda sitting beside me, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Elphie!" she wailed, hugging me tightly.

I winced. "Galinda… not breathing," I said, my body going limp at the prospect of being touched.

"Oh. Sorry." The blonde pulled away, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. "Elphaba, what happened back in class? I've never seen you… I was really… I thought you were…

"Did I scare you?"

Galinda's face turned pink. "Well, I mean… who wouldn't have been scared in a situation like that?"

"You were actually worried about me."

"I was worried that if something happened to you, I'd be saddled with another terrible roommate."

"I'm touched."

Silence.

"But honestly, Elphaba, what happened?"

I shook my head. "Honestly I don't know. The second I looked at Garrett… my memory started acting up."

Galinda made a face. "I don't understand."

I sighed. "Look, Galinda, it's like this: I don't remember anything from when I was fifteen to when I was seventeen. It's like… a big gaping hole in my memory."

"Why?"

"Don't you think I'd like to know? It's like those two years of my life… didn't even happen. I just woke up one day and I was eighteen, preparing to come here to Shiz. Then I turned nineteen and here I am."

"Elphie that's kind of… sad. Not being able to remember your past…"

I shrugged. "I doubt there was anything worth remembering anyway."

Galinda looked close to tears. "Elphie…"

"You're not going to cry, are you?"

"No!" the blonde replied, her hands flying to her face.

"Oz, Galinda, this isn't worth _crying_ over!"

"Shut up!" Galinda punched me in the arm. I winced, surprised that someone Galinda's size could inflict so much damage. "Why would seeing Garrett set off your memory anyway?"

"I believe that Garrett and I… may know each other. If he is who I think he is, then everyone lied to me."

"Lied?"

"If Garrett is who I think he is, then he should be dead… because of me."

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, I was allowed to leave the infirmary. I had somewhat hoped (though I didn't know why) that Galinda would join me for lunch, but she informed me that she had a lab to catch up on, which I understood completely. It was nice to see her finally devoting more time to her schoolwork, and I told her so, but she gave me a funny look before she hurried off. I swear, she was an odd one.

Anyway, I was on my own now, and I was making my way up the side of a small hill in a patch of tall apple trees. I reached the top and was about to settle against the trunk and begin reading when I noticed a familiar blonde sitting at the bottom of the hill under another apple tree. Now this alone wouldn't have bothered me, but it was who she was with, or to be more accurate, who she was currently allowing to stick his tongue down her throat, and have his hand wandering far up under her dress; that was what angered me. She had lied to me! Right to my face! After all that talk about friendship and trusting, she was lying to me so that she wouldn't have to be seen with me!

I felt another wave of anger wash over me and I looked up at the tree branch above the couple. I looked back down at the two as the branch suddenly shook, showering all the unripe apples down on them and interrupting their love connection.

"What the—" Master Fiyero started, but I was gone before they could discover that I, not Mother Nature, was responsible for the interruption.

That afternoon found me sitting at my desk, working on my report for history class, when I heard the door to our room open, accompanied by a dreadful hacking cough. I didn't need to turn to know that it was Galinda, who sounded worse than before.

"How was your lab?" I asked, not allowing my voice to betray any emotion.

"Not terribly exciting."

I turned to look at her and saw that her cheeks were pink, and not with embarrassment of being caught in a lie, most likely. She looked miserable as she unwrapped her pink scarf from around her neck, hanging it on the hook beside her bed.

"It sounds like your illness is progressing," I said.

"No, I'm just coughing like this for fun," she replied bitterly, coughing again.

Ooh, someone was cranky. I considered letting the incident with Master Fiyero slide, but only because Galinda looked so unhappy.

"Do you have something to say to me?" Galinda asked suddenly.

I shook my head. "No."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"How am I looking at you?"

"Don't give me that!"

"Why are you snapping at me?"

"Because you are being exceedingly frustrating!"

Well, I didn't appreciate being spoken to like this. All thoughts of letting her off the hook went out the window then. "As a matter of fact, Galinda, I do have something to say to you. Tell me, what sound did those apples make when they hit your empty heads?"

Galinda gasped. "That was you?"

"No, the tress are just dropping their fruits early this year!"

"Oh, that is just like you Elphaba Thropp!"

"Yes, that is just like me, isn't it? Just like it's just like you to lie to my face so you can avoid the embarrassment of being seen with me!"

Galinda looked somewhat taken aback by that. "I… I didn't lie to avoid being with you."

"Just forget it," I said, shaking my head. "I should have known this friendship thing was never going to work out."

"What was that?"

"I said, I knew that we were never going to be friends!" I shouted, my temper finally lost.

"Elphaba, you… you… I hate you!"

"I _loathe_ you!"

"Well, I… what word is stronger than loathe?"

"Maybe if you read a few more books, you would know the answer to that question!"

Galinda let out a scream of frustration. "Get out of my sight!"

"Fine!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. I stormed from the room… wait. I turned back around and reentered. "I don't have to leave! This is my room! You leave!"

"It's my room too!"

"I was here first!"

"Well, I was here… you leave!"

"Listen you blonde airhead—"

She slapped me across the face. I put a hand to the spot in disbelief. She slapped me! Galinda slapped me across the face!

I let out a cackle. "Feel better?" I asked.

"Yes I do," the blonde replied with a smile.

I slapped her back. "Good. So do I."

She looked at me in total shock, a hand on her own face.

I couldn't tell you who moved first; all I know is that the next second, we were suddenly engaged in a catfight. I felt Galinda scratch my face before I managed to get her on the ground. I did my best to hold her down, even though she had a firm grip on my hair and was pulling in an attempt to get free. The blonde suddenly kneed me in the stomach and I let out a grunt, but I couldn't bring myself to actually hit her back… at least not a second time.

"My word duckies! What is this now?"

Ama Clutch came into the room and pulled me off of Galinda with surprising strength. She helped Galinda to her feet, but when the blonde tried to come at me again, Ama Clutch held her back.

"Why are you two fighting?"

"Because Elphaba is absolutely infuriating!" Galinda screamed.

"Galinda finds it acceptable to lie to my face," I said, wiping the side of my mouth with my sleeve.

"I was trying not to hurt you!"

"Well you failed!"

"Enough, both of you! My word, you two fight like siblings. Run along to class, and when you come back, you'd both better be ready to apologize."

Ama Clutch released Galinda and we glared at each other before we both stormed from the room.

Too bad we both forgot we had our next class together.

* * *

"… and that is why whenever one sees rain in literature, it symbolizes that a significant change is coming."

My eyes flashed towards the blonde, who was sitting a few seats away from me beside to her boyfriend. Her face was dangerously pale, and she had a distant expression in her eyes. I had been watching her throughout the class, and her condition only seemed to be worsening. I noticed that her hand moved to her stomach and a pained expression crossed her face. Uh, oh. I knew what that meant. I looked at Fiyero, who didn't seem to be picking up on any of the signs. Still, why should I care? He would deserve it anyway if she did end up—

"Miss Elphaba!"

I jumped in my seat, my pencil flying from my hand. "What?" I shouted back before I had time to realize who had called my name so shrilly.

The professor crossed her arms. "Stand up!"

I did so.

"Now, would you mind telling the class what significant change the rain in our novel signified?"

"Err… it signified…"

I cast another glance back at Galinda, who had another expression of pain crossing her face. I told myself that I shouldn't care in the slightest. Let her be sick. She shouldn't have lied to me.

"It signified that…"

The blonde put a hand over her mouth, and it was in that moment that I knew I couldn't allow this to happen. Damn it, Galinda, I still wanted to believe you meant it when you called me a friend!

"You idiot, can't you see that Galinda's about to lose her breakfast?" I shouted, throwing my arms into the air. I ran over to the blonde, grabbed her by the arms, and half-dragged her from the room, ramming the door open with my shoulder.

We only managed to get outside the classroom before Galinda lost it. The contents of her stomach hit the floor, my boots, and the bottom of my dress. Yes, this was disgusting. No, this was not the first time this had happened to me.

I tried to ignore the vomit that was currently on me as I rubbed her back. "It's all right. Better out than in," I said.

This prompted a second wave of… regurgitation. I closed my eyes, trying not to breathe through my nose. "Feel better?"

Galinda nodded weakly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "How did you—"

"It was rather obvious. Now come on. Let's get you into bed."

* * *

"I contacted the custodian about the… mess, even though I personally would have loved to see Fiyero slip in it."

"Elphaba… that's gross."

I looked at the blonde. "I know. Open." Galinda opened her mouth and I slid the thermometer under her tongue before I returned to the task I had been performing earlier: cleaning my boots. I didn't know why I was tending to Galinda like this; she still hadn't apologized to me, which meant that I had still had a right to be upset with her.

"Elphaba."

I turned towards her and saw that she had pulled the thermometer from her mouth. I approached her bed and took it from her. "102 degrees. You are definitely sick."

Galinda sighed. "I'll bet Fiyero gave it to me."

I raised an eyebrow. "I didn't expect that to come out of your mouth. Then again, I never expected to see vomit coming out of your mouth either—"

"Elphie, you're going to make me sick again."

"If so, give me a warning this time. I don't want to have to clean my boots again."

The blonde looked down. "Elphaba… I am sorry… for lying to you."

I didn't look up from my boots, even though they were clean now. "Don't worry about it."

"No, Elphaba, it wasn't right for me to lie. I should have… told you the truth. But please, believe me when I say that it wasn't because I didn't want to be seen with you."

"I understand that you were trying to spare my feelings, but you should know that it hurt more to find out on my own than it would have it you just _told_ me."

"I realize that now."

"Now is a little too late, wouldn't you say, my sweet?"

A delightfully puzzled look crossed the blonde's face. "You've never called me that before."

I realized what I had said and my face grew hot. "You don't like it?"

"No, I do. It's… endearing."

"So glad it earns your seal of approval."

* * *

I didn't like to be surprised, especially when said surprise was a spring shower. When I emerged from class, I found that it was raining. That meant that I would have to take the indoor route to get back to our room, which would take me an extra ten minutes. Oh well. Galinda could survive an extra ten minutes. However, I decided that I would make it up to her by bringing her some soup from the dining hall.

Upon my arrival to the dining hall, I found that it was slightly more crowded than I would have preferred, but I pushed that from my mind as I made my way over to where the soups were. Basic chicken noodle would be the best, even though the blonde complained that she was getting tired of it. Still, she seemed to be getting better, though she denied it because that would mean no more babying from me.

"Well, well. Look who it is."

I sighed as I straightened up, holding the full bowl in my hand. "Congratulations. You found me. Now go and tell everyone how much I love soup," I replied.

Miss Pfannee crossed her arms. "We haven't seen Galinda around lately. Did you do something to her?"

"I confirm nor deny anything."

Miss Pfannee reached forward and hit the bowl from underneath, knocking its contents out. I set my jaw as I forced myself to remain calm, which is very difficult to do when hot soup is running down your front.

"I can see you're upset, which is understandable. You and Miss Galinda seem to be good friends," I said. "I will pass your concerns on to her, and in the meantime, I would appreciate it if you would allow me to collect my lunch in peace."

"You'd better watch it, green bean," she said, pointing a perfectly manicured nail at me threateningly.

"I'll take that as a friendly suggestion."

She left and I shook my head. They had gotten away with one prank; I'd be Ozdamned if I let them get away with another.

"Sorry I'm late. It was raining, and that forced me to take the indoor route," I said, closing the door behind me with my foot. I approached the blonde's bed, handing her the covered bowl. "Here. I picked up some dinner for you."

"Let me guess: soup again?"

"It's the best thing for your stomach. If you eat something rich, it'll be such a shock to your poor system that it'll come right back up."

Galinda made a face, and was about to uncover the bowl when she stopped. She leaned in close to me, sniffing my clothes.

"Galinda, what are you doing?" I asked.

She pulled away, looking up at me. "You smell like chicken noodle soup."

"Ah, yes. I… had a little accident in the dining hall."

"Accident?"

"I spilled the first bowl on myself."

"You don't spill, Elphie. You're too careful."

"Well, you know how I am when I get into one of my books." It was a lie, yes, but I didn't want Galinda to know that her friends had been tormenting me again. That would just make things… unpleasant.

"Elphaba, you know you can't multi-task when you read. You need to learn when to just put the book down," the blonde said as I moved to sit on bed.

I started to reply when a thought crossed my mind. I forgot about Dr. Dillamond!

"I have to go!" I shouted, trying to jump off the bed, but my foot caught the sheet, so it ended with me bouncing around on one foot while trying to untangle my other one.

"Need some help?" Galinda asked.

"NO! I can… do it myself… LET GO!" I tore my foot free, which resulted in the sheets being pulled off the bed as well. I stumbled to the side before regaining my balance, and this caused my glasses to fall off my face. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Now all I needed to do was find my glasses and—

CRUNCH

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Of course. Because my day had been going so well thus far.

"Elphaba, I think you…"

"I know, Galinda!" I snapped. "You know what? I don't care! I'll go out without glasses! I don't have time to deal with frivolities such as bed sheets or glasses!"

"Elphaba, you can't see without your glasses!"

"I did it once before, and I can do it again! Now goodbye!"

"But Elphaba—"

"I SAID GOODBYE!"

* * *

After much stumbling and cursing, I finally managed to reach the building that Dr. Dillamond's office was in. However, I did not expect to run into a familiar person… literally.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I heard him say. I felt him grab my arm and keep me from falling.

"No, it's all right. I don't have my glasses so I—" I realized who this person was and I felt my heart skip a beat. Of all the students in Oz, why did I have to run into him? "I have to go!" I said quickly, pulling away and walking briskly.

"Wait! I'm sorry about what happened that day in Dr. Dillamond's class," he called, coming after me.

"It's all right," I said, not looking at him.

"Do you have something against me?"

Now I did look at him, somewhat taken aback by the question. "No. Why would you think that?"

"Well, it just seems like you… avoid me."

"People avoid me, so I've taken to just avoiding them first, to save them the trouble. You shouldn't take it personally."

"Miss Elphaba—"

"Master Garrett, I am running late, so goodbye."

Why wouldn't he just leave me be?

* * *

"Sorry I'm late. I got… held up."

Dr. Dillamond's blurry figure looked at me. "Would this have anything to do with your missing glasses?"

"It wasn't my fault! My foot got caught in the sheets, I had to pull it out, my glasses fell on the floor, and then I inevitably stepped on them." I sighed. "It has not been a good day."

I heard the Goat chuckle. "You too?"

Even though I didn't have my glasses, I was determined to continue working, but I'm sure I was a sight, my nose practically touching the paper as I took the notes. Why? Why had I been cursed with horrible vision? Being green wasn't enough? Whatever I did to deserve this, I apologize!

"Elphaba… may I ask you something… personal?"

I looked up, Dr. Dillamond's voice interrupting my silent fuming. "Sure," I replied, trying to eradicate any anger and frustration from my voice.

"How much do you trust Miss Galinda?"

Oh, that was unexpected. "Well, I… I trust her quite a lot, I suppose. Or, more than I trust any other student at this school."

"Enough to keep something like this from anyone?"

"I can assure you, we've never talked about this to any of our fellow classmates."

"And if something were to… happen to me, you'd trust her to assist you in carrying this on?"

"Dr. Dillamond, what are you talking about? Did someone threaten you or something?"

"You may have noticed that there are not many Animals left here at Shiz. It's only a matter of time before I too am… let go."

"They wouldn't! You're a brilliant professor, Animal or not!"

"I am glad to hear you think so highly of me. I was just throwing the question out there for your consideration."

"Well, I consider it rather disturbing."

"I apologize. We will speak of it not further." The Goat went back to his work, but now I was concerned. Would something happen to him? What if it did? How was I supposed to react? I looked back down at the notebook, but now I had a horrible feeling forming in my gut.

"Elphaba? Are you all right?"

I shook my head slowly. "I am still… very disturbed by this."

"Elphaba, please, don't worry yourself sick over this."

"I can't help it! Why do they do this to us?" I said, standing up.

"Who's 'they'?"

"Society! They think that they can just eradicate those who are different! They just close their eyes and pretend that we're not here, as if by ignoring the problems, they'll just go away!"

Dr. Dillamond approached me and placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Elphaba, I understand your frustration, but when we are the minority… we just don't have much say in the matter."

"It's so unfair!" Okay, now I sounded like I was whining. I never whined. I had to pull myself together here.

"And that's why we'll just keep on working. Agreed?"

I nodded. "Agreed."

* * *

_I don't like this. I don't like thinking about what could happen to Dr. Dillamond. This isn't right! Oz had never been like this under the Ozma regime… the Wizard claimed to look out for his people, but then whom did he consider his people? Those who lived in the Emerald City? All of Oz? Beyond Oz? These thoughts disturb me greatly. All I can do is continue helping Dr. Dillamond… and perhaps, someday, I can make an appeal to the Wizard himself._


	9. Entry 9

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that it was the week before finals. I didn't know where the time had gone, but I did know one thing, and that was this: if I didn't study, I would be screwed! I had gone into panic mode, as I always did when important tests came up. Panic mode differs by individual, and for me, it means this: STUDY UNTIL EXHAUSTED.

I had to! What if I didn't study the right subject matter? What if a question came up that, Oz forbid, I didn't know the answer to? I'd have to guess! CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I HAD TO GUESS? I'll tell you what would happen; I would die!

"Elphaba, you look like you're about to explode."

I turned towards the voice and saw that it was Galinda, and the blonde looked a little concerned. She looked at the mess of papers and open books on my desk.

"Oz, Elphie, how long have you been studying?"

"I-I don't know," I said, pushing my glasses back up my nose.

"Have you taken any breaks at all?"

"Can't. I have to study."

"Elphaba, you have a crazed look in your eyes."

"I know, that's because I'M LOSING IT!" I grabbed Galinda's arms, startling her. "What am I going to do, Galinda? What if I don't study the right material?"

"Elphaba, calm down! You need to pull yourself together!"

"I can't!"

"You need to breathe, Elphaba! Are you breathing?"

"ONLY IN!"

The blonde slapped me across the face. "Are you breathing now?"

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "Yes, I… I think I am."

"Good. Now, listen to me. You're going to do fine. You're the one of the smartest students here at Shiz, and I know that you are going to do just fine. Now, say it with me: you're going to be fine."

"I… I am going to be fine," I said, nodding slowly.

"Right. You're going to be just fine."

"I am going to… I am going to… I'M NOT FINE! I AM NOT FINE!"

"Elphaba, Elphaba, you're losing it again! Stay with me, Elphaba!"

I was losing it. This always happened to me, even when I had been younger. Tests always stressed me out; I couldn't help it! My intelligence was all I had!

"Elphaba, you need to keep it together!"

"I NEED TO STUDY!" I tore away from the blonde and threw myself onto my desk. "I CAN'T FAIL THESE TESTS!"

"Elphaba, you are not going to fail!" Galinda said, grabbing onto my arm and pulling on it.

"YES I AM!"

"Elphaba!" She gave my arm another, harder yank, and we both fell onto the floor in a heap.

"I NEED TO STUDY!"

"You need to take a break! You need sleep!"

"NO! NO I DON'T!"

"Yes you do because your first test is in eight hours!"

"WHAT? SHIT! I HAVEN'T STUDIED ENOUGH!"

"Yes you have! You need to sleep!"

We struggled on the floor for a while until Galinda managed to keep me underneath her by sitting on me.

"Now, you need to listen to me Elphaba! You need to stop this and go to sleep or you will be exhausted by the time that test comes around," Galinda said.

I nodded slowly, knowing full well that she was right, but sometimes I just… lost control. "Okay. Okay, I'll sleep."

* * *

Of course Galinda ended up being right. I took the tests without a hitch, and, as usual, I passed them all, which allowed me to spend my summer at Shiz, while Galinda chose to go home.

Shiz University was much quieter, but that was to be expected when most of its students had left for the summer. My footsteps echoed off the walls as I made my way down the empty hall. I couldn't believe that just yesterday, these halls has been swarming with students and their excited chatter about what they were going to do over the summer break and whatnot. The silence that permeated now was somewhat eerie, and I was surprised to find that it spooked me a little. I was used to being alone, but this… it was like walking through a ghost town. I quickened my pace a little, though chastising myself for doing so. There was nothing to be afraid of here; it was just quieter than usu—

"Elphaba?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, but while my skin stayed on, I went about a foot in the air and almost screamed, but luckily I managed to hold that back.

"Boq. What are you—"

"I thought I saw you leaving Crage Hall. I see you decided to stay for the summer as well."

"Yes." He had scared me half to death just to tell me his observations about me?

"Where are you headed off to in such a hurry?"

"I have to go meet Dr. Dillamond."

"You're so lucky to get to work with him. He's a brilliant professor. I'm stuck working at the library."

"What's wrong with that?" I saw nothing wrong with working in a place where one was surrounded by books all day.

"The job I have is rather tedious, that's all."

"I see."

Silence.

"Well, Boq, if that is all, I really must be going."

"Wait! Won't you join me in a cup of tea afterwards?"

I raised an eyebrow. This was interesting, but still, it wasn't like there was much else to do here. "All right. I'll meet you later."

This soon became a pattern: Boq and I would go to our respective jobs, and then we would meet later for tea. I met two more of Boq's friends, Crope and Tibbett, on these outings, and they were certainly an interesting pair. The three of them were very interested in my work with Dr. Dillamond and would sometimes bring me old manuscripts from the library, which I brought back to the Goat. We fancied it our "secret operation", and I was surprised to find that I was actually enjoying myself.

"But if there were some link between Animals and humans, then where did we split off?"

"Well, that's the real question, isn't it? The when may not be as important as the why, however."

"The why is easy: evolution."

"It's not that simple. If Animals could speak and were habitually bipedal, then why the need to evolve further?"

"Opposable thumbs?"

"Perhaps they wanted a spot of tea."

This sent us into a small giggle fit.

"But honestly though," Boq said, looking at me. "Do you really think Dr. Dillamond will be able to find that link if it even exists?"

"I think so. He's been very excited lately. It's a good sign that—" My eyes suddenly fell on a familiar figure and I quickly pulled my hood up, hiding my face.

"Elpha—"

"Shh!"

As if on cue, Crope and Tibbett suddenly launched into some story about how it was their lifelong dream to be kidnapped by pirates and perform the fandango wearing only shackles. Do you see what I mean by interesting?

I waited until the other cloaked figure left with their newly purchased coffee beans before I lowered my hood.

"Elphaba, what was that about?" Boq asked.

"That clockwork thing works for Madame Morrible. I think he's been sent to follow me," I explained.

This thought killed the mood and somewhat spooked us, so we all decided to call it a day before getting up and leaving the coffee shop.

* * *

It was about… oh, a month into summer when I received a letter from Galinda, but I had been in a hurry to get to Dr. Dillamond's office, so I stuffed it in my bag and soon forgot about it.

That day, we chose to spend our time together outside under the apple trees, which were quite lovely right now. Boq was running late, so it was just the two others and myself.

"So, what information does our green rebel have for us today?"

"Well, I can't tell you everything, but—" I had been pulling a notebook from my bag when Galinda's letter was extracted as well, falling to the grass. Before I could pick it up, Crope snatched it away.

"A letter from Miss Galinda?"

"Oh my!"

"Give it back!" I said, getting to my feet and starting for him, but he passed it off to Tibbett, who ripped it open.

"My Dear Miss Elphaba," he read. "I am bade to write to you, and if you want to visit, you are more than welcome."

I lunged for him, but he managed to get the letter to his friend. I was growing tired of this game.

"No need to write if you would like to visit. Just arrive by coach at Neverdale and come by foot, it's no more than a mile or two by the bridge. I do hope you come for reasons I dare not write!"

"How sweet!"

"How scandalous!"

"How perfectly marvelous!"

"Enough!" I managed to snatch the letter back, giving them both my very best glare.

"What are you three up to?" Boq asked.

"Miss Galina requests the presence of her roommate," Crope said.

"She misses her!" Tibbett added.

"She needs her!"

"She just can't _live_ without her!"

Boq looked at me. "Is that true?"

"It's true she asked me to come, but she must be awfully bored with those ninnies to want my company."

"Well, you have to go, Elphaba!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Pray tell me why I must go, Boq."

"She asked for you! Something may have happened!"

"If that were true, she'd be calling for her boyfriend, her parents, and the nearest emergency team. Not her green roommate."

"Miss Elphaba—"

"I don't like you reverting back to 'Miss Elphaba' as punishment for me disagreeing with you. Besides, I have no chaperone."

"I'll be your chaperone."

"Ha! As if Madame Morrible would allow that!" Was he crazy?

"Well… what about Avaric?"

"Dear Oz, _no_! Was I not tortured enough by him on the Lurlinemas trip?"

"Elphaba, you owe me. I've been helping you all summer, and I've got Crope and Tibbett helping as well."

"You were interested in the first place, and it's only been a month."

"Ask Dr. Dillamond for a few days off and I'll ask Avaric. He and I will stay in an inn, and we'll stay a very short time, just long enough to make sure Miss Galinda is all right."

I sighed. "It's you I'm worried about, not her," I said, but Boq knew that he had won.

* * *

"You know, I really do hate how you convince me to go places I really don't want to go," I stated, looking at the Munchkin sitting across from me.

"Cheer up, Elphaba. You wanted to see Galinda anyway," Avaric said.

"And what trip would be complete without _him_?" I added.

Boq gave me a shrug and I shook my head.

"I didn't realize friendship required this much. I was better off before."

* * *

When we did arrive at the summer home, Ama Clutch was the first to spot us.

"Miss Elphaba! Whatever are you doing here?" she said, coming to hug me and causing me to stiffen like a plaster figure.

"I've been invited by Miss Galinda," I replied, wishing she'd release me.

"I see. Well, the men will be staying in the village of course, but for now, the girls are in the summerhouse at the edge of the lake."

We made our way over to the skeleton-like house, and my eyes fell on Galinda and her three friends, sitting in wicker chairs.

"Miss Galinda!" Boq called, seeming to want to be heard first.

Galinda looked up and her mouth literally fell open. How unladylike. "Holy terror! What're you doing here?"

"I am not staying for long," I said as I approached the four.

"But how enchanting and naughty!" Miss Shenshen said. "Miss Elphaba, who-never-gives-us-the-time-of-day, you have redeemed yourself for all time by this pleasant surprise."

"But why are you here?" Galinda said, standing up. "What's wrong?"

"I am here because I lost my mind for a few moments and allowed the men to see the invitation you sent to me," I replied.

"What invitation?"

It was at this moment that Miss Pfannee broke out into the peals of laughter she had been holding back.

"Surely I don't need to show you, do I?" Now I was the one who was confused. What in Oz's name was going on here?

"I believe I have been set up to be mortified," Galinda said, glaring down at Miss Pfannee. "I am being humiliated for sport. This is not funny, Pfannee, and I have half a mind to… kick you!"

Oh, how I wished she would! "But what is going on?"

"Were you born to plague me?" Galinda said, turning on me. "Did I ask for your association?"

I couldn't understand why she was turning on me like this. I had an idea that it was because of her friends, but she didn't have to be so harsh!

"Oh, Miss Galinda, you're upset," Boq said. I rolled my eyes at that.

"I wrote the letter," Miss Pfannee finally managed through her laughter.

Well, that was certainly unexpected. I looked at Galinda, trying to hide my slight disappointment. "You mean you didn't write to invite me to visit here?"

"Of course not! I would not subject you to such thoughtless cruelties. Besides, you have no place in a setting like this."

"Well, either way, I've been invited, so I'm staying. I'll go unpack my bags."

* * *

"Elphaba?"

I looked up from my book. "Good evening, Galinda. I'll have you know that I didn't invite you to my room, so someone else must have."

"If I had known, I would've stopped them."

"Just like at the Ozdust?"

Galinda came over to sit on my bed beside me. "Elphaba—"

"I know they don't like me. They aren't exactly subtle, but I only regret that you receive some… side effects of the jokes they like to play on me."

Galinda looked down and I didn't see a reply coming anytime soon, so I added, "So here I will stay until it is time for me to leave."

The blonde looked up. "No, I don't… want you to do that."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then what would you suggest I do? As we've pointed out, your friends have no desire to socialize with me."

"There are other things… we can do."

It was then that it struck me: Galinda really was bored up here. Even though she hadn't been the one to send me that letter, she was somewhat thankful that it had been sent because now I was here. It had never occurred to me that Galinda could grow tired of mindless gossip, but then I had to remind myself that the blonde did have a good brain in her, and that brains did grow tired of hearing the same things over and over. Perhaps my intelligence had made an impact on her and if that was the case, I would be all too happy to oblige.

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. This friendship thing certainly was difficult. "I might be able to make an exception."

Galinda gave me one of those beautiful smiles. "Thank you."

* * *

"Can you believe she actually went out wearing a hat like that with a dress like that?"

The girls all nodded in agreement, and I looked up from my book.

"How can we all possibly agree if no description has been provided? Are we to automatically assume that we're all thinking of the same dress and hat? And on top of that, your voice shows no inflection or emotion, so we don't even know if you meant that in a positive or negative way," I said.

That was not received well. "Well, Miss Elphaba, I didn't expect you to know what we're talking about, seeing as you only just arrived," Miss Pfannee said.

"It doesn't matter when I arrived. I'm sure you all have gossiped about many dress and hat combinations, so I ask again: how is anyone to distinguish one from another without more information?"

Silence.

"Well… she does have a point," Galinda said after a few moments.

Her three friends gave her such a look that I had to look back down at my book to try and hide my short laughter. "So, where is Prince McDreamy?" I asked, changing the subject.

Galinda gave me a look. "He's in the Vinkus right now."

"I thought he would have been with you."

"He said he had business to attend to first."

"Ah yes, the busy life of spoiled prince. No wonder he can't see you."

Galinda scowled at me, but the grin didn't leave my face.

"Perhaps Miss Pfannee can send him a letter in your name and have him running to your side," I added.

"It was a _joke_!" Miss Pfannee protested yet again.

"Yes, we're all _dying_ of laughter. Stop. Stop the hilarity."

* * *

Since it was obvious that Galinda herself had not requested my presence, I saw no harm in leaving after a few days. Well, not at first at least.

The night before I was to leave the next morning, Master Fiyero made his appearance, making one particular blonde quite excited. However, Master Fiyero did not seem as enthusiastic as his girlfriend. He managed to sneak into her room that night, past the watchful eye of Ama Clutch. Yet, it was not for a night of fun.

Galinda's room was right next to mine and angry voices drifting through the wall drew me from my book. I had never heard those two fight before, and tonight they were really going at it. I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying and normally I wouldn't have been interested in arguments, but I really wanted to know what was making them so upset! They had always swooned over how perfect the other was.

"JUST GET OUT!"

"FINE!"

Oh, I heard that one. I got off my bed and opened the door to my room, peering out just in time to see Fiyero storm past.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" he shouted at me as he passed. I had no idea what he was talking about, nor did I really care about his side of this. I was more concerned about Galinda.

"Galinda? It's Elphaba," I said, knocking on the still open door as I entered. I found the blonde standing in the middle of the room, her fists clenched tightly and her gaze on the ground. As I approached her, I saw that she was trembling slightly.

"Galinda? Are you all right?" I asked. "At the risk of prying into your personal life, what happened between you two? I have never heard you fight before."

Galinda looked up in my direction, but her sapphire eyes seemed to be looking through me rather than at me. "He broke up with me."

"Oh, Galinda, I… I'm sorry."

"He comes up here to break up with me because he's… married."

Ooh, that hurt even me, and I didn't even like Master Fiyero! I had no idea how to comfort the blonde… what did one _say_ in a situation like this?

"I… I'm sorry." Oh, yes. Brilliant, Elphaba.

"He was engaged when he came to Shiz… and the wedding was last week. He said… it was my fault. That I should be more understanding… that I should have known we couldn't stay together."

I took a step towards the blonde, making to place a hand on her shoulder, but she moved away from me. "Galinda…"

"I think… I need to be alone."

It pained me to see the blonde like this; she had really loved Master Fiyero, but she wanted to be alone, and I had to respect that. So, I turned to leave the room, closing the door behind me as I did.

* * *

I couldn't believe that Master Fiyero would do something like that to Galinda. She didn't deserve that! No one did! How in Oz could he do that? He came to Shiz engaged and still went after Galinda! And now the blonde had holed herself up in her room, refusing to come out.

My bag was packed and I was ready to depart… but the fact that Galinda still hadn't emerged from her room disturbed me, and I knew that I couldn't leave without making sure that she was all right.

"Galinda?" I called, knocking on her closed door. No response. "Galinda, it's me. I'm leaving. Are you… going to be okay?" Still no reply. I sighed and turned away from the door. If Galinda didn't want to come out, then there was nothing I could do. I would just have to trust that she would be—

The distant sound of shattering glass caught my attention. I paused. Had that just been my imagination, or had I really heard something break? I turned back towards the door and knocked again.

"Galinda?" I said, a little more urgency in my voice. I tried the door handle and found that it was unlocked. I pushed the door open and looked around the dark room, but Galinda was nowhere in sight. I noticed that the bathroom door was closed and I approached it, knocking softly. "Galinda?"

I heard strange noises coming from inside the bathroom… it sounded as though someone were choking or gasping for air. Now I had moved well past concerned. I tried the handle, but this one was locked. "Galinda! Open the door!" I called, ramming it with my shoulder. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I took a step back and gave the door a good kick, thankful for my heavy boots once again.

The door banged open and my eyes fell on a terrifying sight: one of Master Fiyero's neckties tied around the showerhead and the other end around Galinda's throat… and she was leaning forward with all her weight.

In short, the blonde was suffocating herself.

"GALINDA!" I leapt into action, quickly pushing the blonde back as I untied the tie. She fell limp into my arms and I pulled her from the tub, laying her on the bathroom floor. I leaned down close, listening for her breathing. "Galinda, stay with me!" I said as I started to perform CPR. I looked at her face, waiting for her to open her eyes. "Come on, Galinda, don't do this! I love you too much, stay with me!" I continued to perform the chest compressions, my eyes flashing back to Galinda's face. I couldn't lose her! Not like this…

I heard a sudden cough and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Galinda open her eyes, which soon focused on me.

"Elphie!" she wailed as she suddenly sat up, embracing me tightly as her shoulders shook with sobs.

"It's all right. I've got you. You're all right," I said, hugging her back for the first time. I held the blonde tightly, feeling her tremble against me. I couldn't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't found her. I could have lost her… I could have lost my only friend.

* * *

I sat on Galinda's bed, stroking her blonde curls as I watched her sleep. I couldn't imagine what she was going through right now, but it had to be awful for her to try and take her own life.

"No… don't leave me…"

I looked down at the sound of Galinda's voice and found that she was still asleep. She was most likely having nightmares about this. I had no idea how she was going to recover from this, but I would do anything to help her. Still, I couldn't expunge the memory of Master Fiyero from her mind, and I couldn't help her escape her nightmares.

"Don't go… Elphaba…" The blonde wrapped her arms around me as she moved to lay her head in my lap.

I froze. She… wasn't dreaming about Master Fiyero? She was dreaming about… me?

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here," I said, putting an arm around her. I didn't know where this road would lead us, but I did know one thing: this night would change our lives together.

* * *

_I can't believe that Galinda made an attempt on her own life. I can't imagine that the blonde would ever feel that life wasn't worth living anymore. What Master Fiyero did to her… it's unforgivable. Going back to Shiz won't be easy… but I intend in standing by Galinda's side, no matter what. We will get through this… together._


	10. Entry 10

_Dear Dr. Dillamond,_

_I am writing you this letter to tell you that I will not be returning to Shiz as soon as I had originally planned. Miss Galinda is currently going through a very trying time and I do not believe it safe to leave her in her current condition. I apologize for my extended absence, but I trust that you can understand why I must stay with her. I cannot say for sure when we will be returning to Shiz, so I bid you farewell for now, and hope to see you before the next semester starts._

_Sincerely,_

_Elphaba Thropp_

I left the room and when I reached the village post office, I mailed my letter off to Shiz. I turned to head back to the summerhouse, only to run into Ama Clutch.

"Miss Elphaba, I thought you had left for Shiz," she said.

"Well I would have, but Galinda… requested my prolonged… stay," I replied. So, Ama Clutch didn't know about Galinda's suicide attempt. Well, there was no need for her to know now.

"Has she? Well, I haven't seen her since last night at dinner with Master Fiyero. Is he still around? Such a bad influence…"

"No, he… left," I said.

"Anyway, I've got a letter for her from her parents here. Perhaps I should take it to her and see what she's up to."

"No!" I said, perhaps harsher and quicker than I should have; the look on Ama Clutch's face told me that. "I mean, I'm already heading back there. I'll take it for you."

"Well… if you're sure," she said, handing the letter over to me. "You two sure you don't need your Ama Clutch?"

"Yes, we're fine… thank you," I said before I left the post office, quickly heading back for the summerhouse.

When I arrived, I found Galinda standing in the doorway of my room.

"Oh, you're awake," I said as I approached her.

"Are you sure I'm awake? Perhaps we're both sleeping and having the same dream," Galinda replied, a slight smile playing across her lips as she followed me into my room.

"Very true. I apologize for my absence, but I felt compelled to write Dr. Dillamond and explain my prolonged vacation."

"Because of me?"

"Yes, but not in a bad way. You're my best… my best… friend, and I want… I need to make sure you'll be… all right." Wow, that had been surprisingly hard to get out.

The blonde directed her gaze down and put a hand to her neck, which was an angry red color; a grim reminder.

"How are you… feeling?" I asked, not sure what else to say.

"Empty." Galinda approached my desk, her gaze down at the candle in her hand. "The lights… went out in my room and I don't have… I don't have a match."

"Oh, um…" I pulled a match from the matchbook on the desk and held it in my hand, flicking my thumb up to light it. Galinda smiled slightly at that trick and I returned the gesture before I held the flame to the wick on her candle. I made sure it lit before shaking the flame out.

"Last night… I felt as though… someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I couldn't… I couldn't believe I'd been so naïve. Fiyero had been right: it was my fault."

"No! He shouldn't have led you on the way he did! He knew he was engaged when he came to Shiz! There was no way you could've known."

"But I was so full of myself… so used to getting what I wanted. I saw Fiyero and I wanted him because he was handsome and… the best Shiz had to offer. I had to have him; I had to be better than everyone else. It didn't matter to me who got in the way or who I had to step on… even you Elphaba."

"You didn't… I wasn't…"

"You knew I talked behind your back… I never realized how much words could hurt."

I put my arms around Galinda hesitantly, not sure of this was the right thing to do. She didn't pull away and I raised a hand up to stroke her hair.

"Listen to me: that… jerk is the one who's at fault. You didn't do anything wrong, and you didn't deserve to be treated that way. I know this must be hard for you, and I can't say that I know how you feel, but I do know that I'll be right beside you every step of the way."

I heard the blonde sniffle and I pulled away, holding her by the shoulders and looking into her eyes, which were beginning to fill with tears.

She nodded. "Okay…" She looked down at the candle in her hands and let out a choked laugh. "It went out."

I picked up another match and performed the same trick from before, lighting her candle for the second time. She gave me a small smile before she started for the door, but upon reaching it, she stopped and turned back.

"It blew out again," I said as she approached me. The blonde nodded and I lit another match, but as I reached to light her candle, I noticed that her hands were shaking. I held her hands still as I lit the candle for a third time. "Try to be more careful this time."

Galinda nodded as she looked down at her hands, which I was still holding in my own. "I will…" She looked back up and our eyes met, and in that moment, it seemed as though she never wanted me to let go. I didn't want to let go either, and I—

"Ow!" Never mind. I jerked my hand away as burning wax from the candle dripped onto my finger.

"The wax… it's dripping…" Galinda looked back up at me. "Why don't you just… light the lamps in my room?"

"That sounds like a very logical solution."

Of course, we both knew that that would have been the best solution from the start… but that wouldn't give us an excuse to be together, would it?

I followed the blonde to her room where I lit an oil lamp.

"Thank you," Galinda said, sitting on her bed.

"Here," I said, holding the letter out to her. "This is from your parents."

Galinda took the letter from me and opened it, her eyes scanning the page. "They want me to be present for the annual summer gala they're holding."

"Your parents certainly hold quite a few formal affairs," I observed.

"That's the world I live in…"

The distant look was returning to her eyes and I moved to sit beside her. "I think… you should go."

Galinda looked up at me.

"It might be… good for you," I added.

"I… I'll think about it."

* * *

I didn't know if Galinda was recovering as the week progressed. I wanted to say that she was, but I didn't know for sure. She obviously wasn't as bubbly as she used to be and talked much less. Her "friends" suspected that I had something to do with her new behavior (which was no real surprise), mainly because Galinda preferred to be alone now. I'd find her by the lake's edge, looking out across the glistening water, as if she stared at it long enough, it would provide her with some answers. Oh, I kept a close eye on her, but she never strayed into the water any farther than ankle deep.

"Elphaba."

I froze. I had never realized that Galinda knew I had been watching her. I approached the blonde, the rocks crunching under my boots. I didn't understand how the blonde could stand to walk across them barefoot.

"You've been watching me," she continued.

"I've just been keeping an eye on you. I want to make sure you're okay."

Galinda closed her eyes as a breeze passed by, catching her blonde curls. "I've had a lot of time to think… by myself. And I think I… I think I've come to a conclusion."

She paused and I brushed a few strands of hair from my face, waiting for her to continue.

"I don't think I'll ever fully recover from what happened between Fiyero and myself… and I know that I'll never forget the feeling of my life slipping away. But… I do know that I can move on with my life… thanks to you." She looked at me with a smile and I couldn't help but smile back. "I've decided that I am going home for the gala… and I want you to come with me."

"Me? Are you sure you want to be seen at such a public, formal affair with me?"

"Please, Elphaba."

Well, I had said that I would stay by her side… but attending something as high society as a gala…

"All right. We'll leave tonight."

* * *

As I was packing my suitcase that night, I became aware of a pair of eyes on me. I turned towards the doorway and found Galinda standing there.

"Can I help you?" I asked, closing my own suitcase.

"I… I can't get my suitcase… closed."

I grinned slightly. "Too many dresses as usual, I suppose."

The blonde just nodded.

"Well, let me take a look." I left my room and headed into Galinda's, where I found her suitcase on the bed. I smiled as I figured out the problem right away. "Galinda, it works much better if you actually fold your clothes." I dumped the suitcase out onto the bed before I started folding her clothes, one by one. "This is very unlike you, my sweet."

I looked over at the blonde and saw that she was holding Master Fiyero's tie in her hands. "I wanted him to find me with this around my neck. I want him to know that he was the reason for my death. I thought that maybe… I could make him feel the pain I was feeling. I never realized… how it could have affected you."

I approached the blonde and took the tie from her gently. "Thankfully it never came to that, and you're still here to brighten the world… my world."

* * *

It was going to take us about half a day to reach Frottica from Lake Chorge by carriage. That meant twelve hours in carriage with Galinda… just the two of us. I had no idea how we were going to fill the time… well, how she was anyway. I could always retreat into my books, which is what I started to do when our journey began. I cast glances up at my companion, who was just staring out the window silently.

I wasn't sure how long it been before Galinda broke the silence, saying, "My parents always told me that no matter what, I should always love myself. I thought I did… but it wasn't real."

I looked up from my book and saw that Galinda's gaze was still on the landscape outside.

"I based my love for myself on how much others loved me. I thought that if others liked me, then there was no reason for me not to like myself, right? So when Fiyero… told me it was over, I realized that… this image that I'd built for myself… it was just that. An image. The person that I was then… I didn't want to be her."

Galinda finally turned her head to look at me, her sapphire eyes emotionless. "In death, we are reborn. I suppose that's what I wanted: to kill the person I'd become. I realize now that I went about it the wrong way. If you hadn't found me… well, we both know what would have happened."

I didn't really know what to say. What was there to say?

Galinda put a hand to her neck again, which still bore the signs of her attempted suicide. "My parents… how will they react when they see this? What am I supposed to tell them? I don't think… I could bear to disappoint them."

"I don't think they'd ever be disappointed in you," I finally said. I was not the best at comforting people, okay? Give me a break.

"They won't be proud to hear that their only daughter tried to selfishly take her own life because her boyfriend broke up with her."

"Galinda," I said, reaching over and taking the blonde's hand in my own. "There will be times when your parents may not be proud of you, and Heaven forbid you ever disappoint them, but… that's life. It's going to happen, but regardless of the good and bad times, your parents will always love you. And being loved by those we care about matters more than what anyone thinks of you." I gave the blonde a smile and she actually returned the gesture before she moved across the carriage to sit beside me.

"You know, I'm grateful… that I got stuck with you as my roommate," she said as she leaned against me, her head coming to rest on my shoulder. She intertwined her fingers with my own and closed her eyes, making herself comfortable, which was quite a feat with my bony build, I'm sure. "Even if you are stubborn… and green."

* * *

"Galinda, we had hoped you would have arrive a little earlier. The gala is tonight," Mr. Upland said, coming to meet us as we approached the estate.

"I'm sorry, popsicle, but I needed time to… consider," Galinda said.

Mr. Upland nodded before his eyes fell on me, and I could tell he was a little confused by my presence. "And this is…?"

"Elphaba Thropp," I said, offering him my hand, which he appeared hesitant to take. Not surprising.

"Elphaba is my roommate," Galinda said. "She's my… best friend."

I stared at Galinda. She had never called me that before. Was it true, or just a ruse to get her parents to warm up to me quicker?

"I see. Well, let me be the first to welcome you to our home, Miss Thropp," Mr. Upland said, shaking my hand uncertainly, obviously put off because of the green.

"Elphie and I will go get ready right now," Galinda said before she took me by my wrist and led me up to the massive estate. We entered her home and I barely had time to take in its monstrous size before Galinda dragged me up the stairs and into the largest bedroom I'd ever seen in my life.

"How can one tiny person need so much space?" I asked, craning my neck back to try and find the ceiling.

"I like to be able to spread out. Help me pick out a… a…" The blonde suddenly collapsed and I had to react quickly to catch her.

"Galinda!" I said, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. "Galinda, can you hear me?"

The blonde's eyes fluttered open and she focused on me. "What happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same question. Are you all right?"

Galinda nodded and I helped her back to her feet. "What… what was I saying?"

"You wanted me to help you pick something out, and I'm assuming you were going to say 'a dress'."

"That was probably it." The blonde went into her closet, but I was a little concerned now. It wasn't natural for people to just collapse like that… could this be a side effect of Galinda's attempt on her life? And if it was, then why had it taken so long to show up? I would have to keep an extra close eye on the blonde from now on.

* * *

"Elphaba, come on."

"No. I feel too… conspicuous."

"You're green. Of course you're going to stick out, but since when have you cared when people stare at you?"

I sighed. The blonde had a point. I moved out from the blonde's closet, smoothing out my dress for what felt like the hundredth time.

"See, Elphie? I told you that dress would fit. It always was long on me."

"Yeah, long on you, but you're tiny! I'm abnormally tall, so long for you is short for me!"

"Stop it. It's not that short."

"Look, let's just get this over with okay?"

The look on Galinda's face told me that what I had said had come out harsher than I intended. "All right, Elphaba. Let's go downstairs."

I followed the blonde down the staircase and we made our way into the dining room, where everyone was sitting down for dinner. Galinda sat near the head of the table next to her parents, gesturing that I should sit beside her, which I did. Yes, I was aware that people were stealing glances at me, but again, it was nothing new.

"Do you know how to use all your silverware?" Galinda whispered to me.

"I'm green, not incompetent," I hissed back. "Remember who you're talking to."

"Yes, Miss Eminent Thropp."

I would have hissed back at her in a sarcastic manner, but it was at that moment that the waiters set the silver platters in front of all the guests before lifting the lids. I looked down at what was on the plate and had to hold back my… disgust as I looked down at the unfortunate fish (Fish?) on my plate.

"Oz, it's… looking at me like I personally put the hook in!" I hissed at the blonde. She gave me a raised eyebrow. "How am I supposed to eat this?"

"With a fork," Galinda replied.

"Okay, being a smart ass is my thing. Don't get all… sarcastic on me."

"Is there a problem, girls?" Mr. Upland asked.

We both looked up. "No. No problem here," Galinda said. She turned back to look at me.

"Look, all I'm saying is that neither of us know if this was an Animal or not, and I can't eat it," I said.

"Elphaba, don't make a scene, please."

"Who's making a scene? I am merely stating in a calm manner that I refuse to eat this," I said, leaning back in my chair.

"Elphaba—"

"You're the one who seems to be making a scene."

"Do not embarrass me tonight."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you asked me to attend this event with you."

"Elphaba—"

"Girls."

We both looked back at Mr. Upland, who was looking a little concerned (and somewhat annoyed, might I add).

"Would you excuse me?" I said, pushing my chair away from the table and standing up. I left the room, ignoring the eyes that were boring into my back as I did so. I made my way outside the mansion and let out a sigh as I leaned against a railing, looking out at the stretch of beach ahead of me. The summer night was still warm, even though the moon was climbing higher into the starry sky. I ran a hand through my dark hair, feeling somewhat ashamed that I had been so… abrasive towards the blonde. But, those were my beliefs now. I couldn't eat anything that had the possibility of coming from an Animal. I wouldn't do it.

"Elphaba."

I turned and saw Galinda approaching me. I sighed again before turning back towards the railing. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I can't eat anything that could have come from—"

"I understand," Galinda said, coming to lean on the railing beside me. "I suppose I should've expected something like that from you."

I just nodded, not looking at the blonde. "Galinda… that life… those people… that's not me. That's not who I am; this is not my world."

"But that day… in Morrible's office… you said—"

"Anybody can be given a title because of their family name; that's just a monarchy. I never said that was what I wanted."

Silence.

"You know… next year—"

"It's okay."

"What?"

"If you want to room with your friends, that's all right. After living with you, I can handle anyone else who comes along."

"Would you let me finish? I was going to say if you wanted… we could room together again. I mean… Ama Clutch probably couldn't bear to separate from you anyway, so there's no need for us to… split up."

I looked at the blonde with a slight smile before I looked back down at my hands. "Well… if it will help you sleep at night."

I watched as Galinda slid her own hand into one of mine and my heart rate started to pick up. "Elphaba… I need to tell you something. I've been… thinking."

"I've never seen you think so much before, and in such a short amount of time."

"That night… on the beach… we said we were just going to be friends."

"Uh oh. Don't tell me you don't want to be my friend anymore because I want to renounce my noble title."

"Elphaba."

Her tone told me that she was trying to be serious, and my sarcasm was not appreciated.

"The only reason that I'm still here today is because you refused to leave until you were sure that I was all right. I have never… had someone care for me that much… well, anyone besides my parents." The blonde looked at me. "Do you remember when we were in Morrible's office and she made that comment about us… falling in love?"

I nodded, hoping this conversation wasn't headed where I thought it was.

"Elphie… I think it happened."

No. No, no, no, no! This… this conversation was not happening! "Galinda… I think… you need to really reconsider."

"No. I don't. I've thought about this a lot, Elphaba, and I'm tired of lying to myself… and you."

I pulled my hand away, turning to face the blonde. "Look… there's a lot about me that you don't know. I'm not… I am not the ideal person."

"Everyone has flaws. I tried to kill myself over a boy. What does that say about me?"

"That's not… that's not the same thing! I mean, there are things in my past that were so horrible that… I was forced to forget them so I could move on with my life! You… you can't get involved with me, I'll only end up hurting you!"

Galinda just shook her head. "I don't believe it."

There was silence between us before I crossed my arms, shaking my head.

"_I should tell you, I'm disaster. I forget how to begin it."_

"_Let's just make this part go faster. I have yet to be in it. I should tell you."_

"_I should tell you."_

"_I should tell you."_

"_I should tell you."_

Galinda started walking a slight smile on her face as I fell in step beside her. "_I should tell I blew the candle out just to get back in."_

"_I'd forgotten how to smile until your candle burned my skin."_

"_I should tell you."_

"_I should tell you."_

"_I should tell you."_

"_I should tell you."_

Galinda made to take my hand, but I chose to cross my arms at that moment and we looked at each other uncertainly.

"_Well, here we go. Now we—"_

"_Oh, no_." The blonde looked away from me and I took her by her arm, turning her to face me as we came to a stop.

"_I know, this something is… here goes."_

"_Here goes."_

"_Guess so, it's starting to… who knows?"_

"_Who knows?"_

"_Who knows where, who goes there. Who knows, here goes._"

I took the blonde's hands in my own before I looked down into her sapphire eyes. Well… if she was willing to take a chance…

"_Trusting desire, starting to learn. Walking through fire, without a burn. Clinging a shoulder, a leap begins. Stinging and older, asleep on pin_s."

We both turned to walk back to the house, Galinda clutching my hand tightly.

"_So here we go. Now we—"_

"_Oh no."_

Galinda looked up into my eyes. "_I know."_

"_Oh no."_

"_Who knows where… who goes there. Here goes, here goes, here goes, here goes, here goes, here goes._"

We turned to face each other and I hesitantly put my hand on the back of her neck, daring to lean in and press my lips against hers in a gentle kiss. We pulled away after a few moments and our eyes met.

"This could be dangerous," I said.

"Yes."

"Are you sure… this is really what you want? You could always back down and say it was the stress from your break-up that caused this."

Galinda shook her head. "I don't need an excuse."

I nodded. "Well… we'd better go back inside before your parents send a search party after us."

The blonde nodded with a smile. "Well… here goes."

"Here goes."

**Song used: I Should Tell You from RENT**


	11. Entry 11

This is going to be harder than I thought. Much harder. Did I love Galinda? I wasn't exactly sure. As I said before, one can't compare a feeling they've never felt before. Galinda, on the other hand, seemed to be convinced that this was indeed love, and soon enough, our bags were packed and we were on the train, returning to Shiz for the next semester.

Currently, I was leaning against the wall, my legs stretched out across the seat as I read. Galinda was out doing Oz knows what, and I found it easier to just accept it rather than question it.

"Elphie!"

Ah, speaking of blonde roommates, enter one now. I looked up from my book to see Galinda closing the car door behind her and sitting in the seat across from me. I mentally marked my page before I turned to face her, looking down at my hands. This conversation would have to happen eventually, and it was better sooner rather than later.

"Galinda… we need to talk."

The smile immediately fell from the blonde's face. "Please don't tell me we're already breaking up."

"No, it's not that. Give me a little credit would you? We need to talk about… this. Our… relationship."

"Okay. What do you want to say about it?"

"Well… I think that… because this is so new for… both of us, we need to… take it slow."

"You don't want everyone to know."

"No, not really."

"Are you embarrassed?"

"No. Of course not," I said, reaching over and taking Galinda's hand. I offered her a smile which I hoped looked genuine. "I just… you've seen how people act around me. Think about how you used to act around me. You and I… we live in completely different social circles. If people find out about us, they'll treat you differently, and I don't want you to be brought down because of me."

"Elphie, you're sweet, but I don't care what—"

"Don't say it. You may think that's true, but it's not. Not yet. Like I said before, this is new for both of us. I'm sure you've never been in a relationship with a woman before, especially a green one. You're still recovering from a very traumatic incident as well, and the last thing you need is more drama. So, for now, this stays behind our closed dorm room door, all right?"

Galinda smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"N-no! I didn't mean… like that! I… uh…"

"I know what you meant… and thank you, Elphie." Galinda moved to sit beside me, intertwining her fingers with my own and leaning against me. She closed her eyes with a smile on her face, but I directed my gaze towards the ground. I knew Galinda was all confidence, but as for myself… well, I just didn't want her to get hurt.

* * *

Seeing Shiz alive with students that afternoon was almost a relief after the ghost town it had been over the summer. The blonde and I entered Crage Hall, leaving another unfortunate soul to unload her luggage, as once again I had only my single suitcase.

"Galinda!"

The blonde turned at the sound of her name and was greeted by her three "friends".

"We were so worried when you didn't return with us to Shiz!" Miss Pfannee said.

"You were so worried that you forgot to write," I said. "I hate it when that happens."

I received a scowl for that comment. "Being left alone must have been simply awful, but since you'll be rooming with us—"

"I'm not," Galinda said.

Miss Pfannee looked very confused by that. "Wh-what?"

"I'm not… rooming with you."

Galinda's friends looked from her, to me, and then back to her again.

"Oh, I see! You're going to room with Miss Elphaba again so—"

"So poor Miss Elphaba won't be lonely. How good of you," Miss Pfannee said, cutting Miss Milla off.

"Welcome back, ladies! The halls of Shiz were lonely and quiet without all of you, but now that you've returned, we can fill these halls with learning once more!" Madame Morrible announced as she entered. "I trust you all know your room assignments, so let's move along!"

"Come. We'll walk you to your room," Miss Pfannee said.

I didn't want to be part of whatever would be going on during that walk, so I decided to make myself scarce. "I'll see you there," I said to Galinda before I started for the door.

"Miss Galinda, if I may have a word with you?" I heard Morrible say. "You too, Miss Elphaba."

We both stopped and returned to where Morrible was standing, looking down at her clipboard.

"Madame, it's only the first day back. Surely we aren't in trouble already?" I said.

"What's this about you two rooming together again this year? Didn't you come to me practically begging to be switched last semester?" Madame Morrible asked, looking up.

"Well, we… we decided that it was just better to stay together… we didn't want to upset the others, as you said," Galinda replied.

"I would like to believe that Miss Galinda, but you were so adamant before…"

"Are you suggesting that we have some sort of ulterior motive?" I asked. I didn't like where this was headed.

"Miss Elphaba, I have noticed that you two seem to enjoy each other's company more often, and I know you left Shiz this summer to go visit Miss Galinda at her summer home."

"So we're friends then. You found us out. What are you implying?" I continued. I knew I shouldn't be talking to our headmistress like this, but I had a feeling where this conversation was headed and I didn't like it.

"Boys and girls are kept separate for their safety, but not to discourage romance. However, I cannot say that this school will approve of another type of romance; a type that may be taking place behind closed doors." Morrible looked at us, and not in a friendly way. "If I find out that you two stayed together to explore some sort of… romantic relationship, I will ask you to leave Shiz University. That type of disturbance will not be tolerated here, not while I am in charge of Crage Hall."

I shook my head and started to laugh. "That's what you think this is? You think Miss Galinda and I are in love? Madame, Miss Galinda is hardly my type, and besides, it's obvious that she and Master Fiyero are very in love. Therefore I find your reasoning illogical and your theory should be dismissed."

"Elphaba!" Galinda said, sounding shocked. "Madame, please, she means no disrespect!"

"Stay out of trouble," Morrible said, her gaze on me narrowing before she left.

Galinda smacked me in the arm as she turned to face me. "What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing! I was offended by what she was implying! Weren't you?" I replied, putting a hand to my arm.

"It doesn't matter if I was offended! She's our headmistress; you can't speak to her like that!"

"And what gives her the right to threaten us? We are not children, Galinda; we are women. She may be our headmistress, but that doesn't give her the right to treat us like… criminals!"

Galinda sighed. "Well… should we just… stop? Our… relationship I mean, before it gets too—"

"No."

The blonde looked at me. "But you heard what Madame Morrible said."

"All the more reason to do it." I took the blonde's hands in my own. "Galinda, don't you understand? This is exactly what's happening to the Animals, to everyone who's different! Society is trying to suppress what it sees as wrong and purge it from Oz. We have to take a stand, and if that takes being involved romantically, then I'll do it, Ozdamnit!"

"Elphaba… is that all this is to you? A way to defy Madame Morrible?"

I saw the hurt look that was starting to form in her sapphire eyes. "No. No, of course not. I mean, I'll admit, the more she says no, the more I want it, but I… I think I have… strong feelings for you, and I don't want to just… ignore them."

Galinda smiled. "You do care…"

"Of course I do. But what I said earlier still stands, even more so now than before: we need to keep this as quiet as we can."

Galinda nodded. "Agreed. Now stop holding my hands you vegetable."

I smiled slightly before I released her. I picked up my suitcase before I turned towards the door. "Well… shall we go see our room?"

We headed outside and started to make our way over to Crage Hall, but it seemed as though the entire student body was out to stop us.

"Miss Galinda! Elphaba!"

I didn't want to stop at the sound of my name; in fact, I would have been more than content to just keep walking, but Galinda grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.

"Master Boq," she said. I sighed internally as I turned to face him.

"Elphaba, what happened to you? You didn't come back with us!" Boq asked.

"I decided to stay a little longer," I replied.

"I requested her prolonged presence," Galinda added.

"See? It was a very fortunate thing that we went, isn't it Elphaba?" Boq said.

I looked at the blonde beside me. "Yes. It was very fortunate," I said, no sarcasm in my voice for once. Yes, it had been fortunate indeed. I tried to imagine returning to Shiz and learning that Galinda had… that she was… even the thought made me shudder. No amount of words would ever be able to express how truly fortunate it was that Boq had convinced me to go up there.

Galinda looked up at me, and I realized that I had been staring. I quickly turned my attention back to Boq. "Anyway, as you may understand, Miss Galinda and I are rather tired from our trip, and we would like the chance to unpack. Perhaps we could continue this conversation later on?"

"Oh! Of course. I'm sorry for holding you up Miss Galinda. I hope to see you later on," Boq said, giving her a short bow before he left.

"Don't worry about me. You didn't hold me up as well," I scoffed. I shook my head and noticed that Galinda was trying rather hard not to laugh. "What?"

"Oh, Elphie… it's nothing."

"Can we actually get to our room?"

"What's stopping you?"

I scowled at her before I continued walking, the blonde falling into step beside me. We entered Crage Hall and made our way up to our room and upon entering, we found that it was larger than our room last year.

"Oh, Elphie, look at this closet space!" Galinda squealed in glee, running over to her closet and throwing open the door.

"Yes, more space to show how little I need it," I replied, setting my suitcase down on the bed that I assumed was mine.

"Elphaba, you don't want that bed, do you?" I heard Galinda ask.

I turned to look at her. "I assumed you were taking the bed closest to the closet you threw open."

"But that bed is near the window."

I raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"What if it rains and the window breaks again? I don't want you to wake up in pain."

I smiled slightly. How sweet of her to try and look after me. "Aren't you just _so _good, Miss Galinda?" I said, but I picked up my suitcase and we switched beds. I undid the latches and opened the lid of my suitcase before I began to unpack.

"Elphaba… those are the exact same three dresses you had last year."

"These are the same three dresses I've had for a lot of years past." I knew that response most likely unsettled the blonde, considering the fact that she had more dresses than brain cells. Wait. That didn't come out as I intended. She had more dresses than I had brain cells.

"Let's go shopping!" I heard her announce suddenly.

I turned to face the blonde as I dumped all my books onto my bed. "Right now?" I asked as I started to put all my literature on the shelves.

"Not right now, but soon! Seeing you in those same drab dresses is starting to depress me."

"Starting too?" I asked as I moved back to my closet, tossing my suitcase on the top shelf.

"Well, last year I didn't like you, so I didn't care."

"Glad to see you're so honest."

"I try." I returned to sit on my bed and Galinda moved to sit beside me, running her hand down my brown, threadbare blanket

"Elphaba… what am I going to do when I see Fiyero again?" she asked.

I looked at the blonde and saw that the distant look was returning to her eyes. "Well… you'll have to face him eventually… but don't worry." I placed my hand over hers and she looked up at me. "I'll be right beside you every step of the way. And until it happens, don't even give that jackass a second of your thinking time."

Galinda smiled. "You're right, Elphie. I shouldn't waste my time worrying about him… not when I have you." The blonde leaned against me, wrapping her arms around my torso, causing me to stiffen involuntarily. As much as I liked Galinda, I still didn't like being hugged.

"Right," I said, awkwardly wrapping my own arms around the blonde. It was then that I realized how sweet her hair smelled… was exotic the right word? I didn't know. I dared to pull her closer as I took in her scent once again. Oz, some sort of change had definitely come over me. Never in my life had I ever imagined that I would be here, embracing my blonde roommate in a way that bordered on the romantic.

"Now what should I wear to dinner tonight?" the blonde suddenly said, jumping off the bed and flouncing over to one of her many trunks, which had yet to be unpacked.

The sudden movement startled me and I reached up to straighten my glasses. "Oh, Galinda, I'm sure I haven't the foggiest."

"Well… what are you going to wear?" she asked, turning to look at me. I gestured to what I was wearing. Galinda made a face. "You can't wear that!"

"Why not? It's just dinner."

"But the Briscoe Hall boys will be there!"

"So? There is no one there that I'm trying to impress."

"Well, I for one always dress to impress, Elphie. That's never going to change."

"As I'm finding out."

Galinda made a face at me again before she turned her attention back to her clothes. I got off my bed and crossed the room to join her, though it struck me as almost impossible that she could possibly know what every dress she had looked like.

"Galinda, my sweet, it's just a glorified dinner. I'm sure that what you're wearing won't—"

"I've been wearing this all day! I can't possibly wear it to dinner!"

"Of course not. Whatever was I thinking?" I said, throwing my hands up in defeat as I retreated back to my own bed and picked up a book, figuring that this whole ordeal was going to take some time.

"Elphaba… you really don't care what I wear?"

"Of course I don't."

"Oh…"

Uh, oh. I didn't like that hurt tone in her voice. I looked up and saw that Galinda was looking down, somewhat dejectedly, and I realized a few moments later why.

"No, I didn't mean it like that! All I meant was that I don't think more or less of you just based on what you wear," I said quickly. "Please don't look that way."

Galinda looked up at me. "You still care…"

I'm sure my face turned a dark green at that, and I quickly looked back down at my book. "Don't… read too much into it. I'm… I'm just the sarcastic vegetable."

Galinda approached me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders gently. "You're cute… when you blush."

My face got darker and I buried my nose further into my book. "Stop it. You're… distracting me from my… book."

Galinda moved to sit behind me, taking my hair out of its tight braid and running her fingers through it.

"So pretty…" I heard her sigh. "You should leave your hair down more often."

Now I knew what she was trying to do. I closed my book and turned to face her, somewhat surprising her. I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers in a gentle kiss, allowing us to linger there for a few moments before I pulled away.

"I'm sure whatever you wear, you will look just as stunning as always," I said.

Galinda didn't reply, but the look on her face told me that our kiss had ended too soon for her tastes. "You're just saying that…"

"Only because it's true."

The blonde grabbed a few strands of my hair and pulled me closer as our lips met again in a less gentle kiss. It probably would have gone further, but I remembered that dinner was soon, and Galinda still hadn't picked out an outfit.

"Galinda… you need to decide what you're going to wear now, or we'll be late," I said, pushing her away gently.

The blonde pouted slightly. "Fine." She got off my bed and headed back over to her trunk, pulling out a bright orange dress a few moments later. "How's this?"

I blinked a few times. "It's… bright. You'll certainly stand out."

"Well, I can't let you have all the attention, now can I?"

* * *

When the two of us arrived at the dining hall that night, our entrance certainly did not go unnoticed. Galinda's friends especially gave me some of the most scathing looks I've ever seen… and I have seen quite a lot. They motioned for Galinda to sit with them, and she looked up at me.

"I'll be all right," I said in a low voice. Galinda didn't look convinced, but she went to sit with her friends, who immediately pulled her into some sort of gossip, no doubt. I made my way to the end of the second-year girls' table, which was right next to the boys'.

"Elphaba. I thought you would have been sitting with Miss Galinda," Boq said as he moved to sit at the end of his table.

"Her friends do not appreciate my company."

"Oh! I just remembered: Dr. Dillamond was looking for you."

"Wha—when?"

"Earlier, when I met up with you and—"

"Why didn't you tell me then?" I practically growled.

"I… I didn't think of it."

I shook my head. "You mean you were so distracted by Galinda's presence that you forgot. Damn it, Boq!"

"I'm sorry Elphaba," he said. I stood up. "Where are you going?"

"Thanks to your forgetfulness, I have to now go see what Dr. Dillamond needs, instead of eating dinner." I started to leave, only to run into Madame Morrible.

"Miss Elphaba. May I inquire as to where you are going?"

"I just learned that Dr. Dillamond requested my presence, so I'm going to—"

"You're not going anywhere. The dinner is about to start."

Oh, I did not like being told what to do, especially not by the woman who had earlier threatened to expel my roommate and myself from Shiz. "But—"

"Your presence here is much more pressing. I'm sure Dr. Dillamond would understand. Now please take your seat."

I felt my hands form fists, but I knew that arguing or striking out wouldn't get me anywhere, and besides, there were too many witnesses. So, I turned back around and returned to my seat, sitting down as Morrible went to stand at a podium at the front of the room.

"Good evening, students, and welcome to what we hope will be another knowledge-filled year at Shiz University," Morrible announced.

I looked down, putting a hand to my temple. I didn't want to listen to whatever Morrible had to say. I looked down the table and my eyes met sapphire. Galinda was looking at me as well with the same bored expression. Obviously her friends were amusing her as much as Morrible was amusing me.

The blonde rolled her eyes as if to say _I am exceedingly bored. _ I nodded once in agreement. The blonde's eyes flashed towards Morrible, then returned to lock with mine as a small smile spread across her face; _want to slip away?_ I raised an eyebrow; _really?_ Galinda nodded; _let's go_. I shook my head; _we can't_. _She'll notice_. The blonde made a face; _I thought you didn't care what Morrible said_. I rolled my eyes; _I want to stay in Shiz at least. Besides, we can't be so blatantly obvious_. Galinda sighed; _fine._

I leaned back in my seat. Had Galinda and I just had a full conversation without saying a single word? Spooky. I didn't realize that we could manage to be on the same brainwave. I shook my head as I turned my attention back to the front of the room. I saw all the professors sitting in a line behind Morrible… but wait… where was Dr. Dillamond? Why wasn't he here? Again, I wanted to leave right then to go to his office, but I knew that Morrible was keeping an eye on me. As much as it pained me to do so, I would have to wait until tomorrow to find out what Dr. Dillamond needed me for.

The dinner was fairly boring, and nothing was really worth mentioning, so I'll skip ahead to when it ended. The boys and the girls were allowed to mingle at this point, and I made my way through the crowd to Galinda, who was not difficult to spot in her bright orange dress.

"Hey, I'm going to head back," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She turned to look at me. "Already?"

"You know I don't like to mingle."

Galinda started to reply, but her gaze fell on something and she stopped. I followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at Master Fiyero, who was looking back at us.

"Yes. I'm ready to go as well," Galinda said as he started to approach. We made our way to the exit and stepped out into the cool night air. I felt Galinda slip her hand into mine and I would have pulled away, but she was trembling slightly, so I instead gripped her hand. We made our way to Crage Hall and finally, blissfully, we made it back to our room.

"You were trying to get us into some trouble earlier tonight," I said as I closed the door.

"I was bored, and I could tell you were too," the blonde replied.

"True, but you still shouldn't have suggested… what you suggested."

"What do you think I was suggesting?"

I looked the blonde, somewhat confused and quickly looked away, my face growing hot. I heard her laugh.

"Could you unzip my dress?"

I approached the blonde, finding the zipper and pulling it down, revealing the pale skin underneath. I pushed the fabric down her arms slowly, having a sudden inclination to run my hands down the perfect skin on her back. I quickly shook my head, trying to clear those thoughts from my head.

"There you go," I said, taking a step back. Galinda turned to face me, allowing her dress to fall from her body and pool around her feet, leaving her clad in nothing but her undergarments. I stared, unable to look away. She was so beautiful… how could one help it? So can I really be blamed when I closed the gap between us to meet Galinda in a passionate kiss?

"Miss Elphaba, I do believe this would fall under what our headmistress calls 'inappropriate'," Galinda said as we pulled apart.

"You're right. We should stop." I moved away from her to sit on my bed, where I started to remove my boots. I had just taken the second one off when I was tackled by the blonde, knocking me onto my back on the bed, Galinda on top of me. "That was unexpected."

"I didn't say that to make you stop, Elphie."

"Oh, you didn't? I guess I read that all wrong, didn't I?"

Galinda scowled before she leaned down and once again, our lips met. Now, don't get me wrong: I suppose that I liked this new relationship thing, but I was still concerned for Galinda. I couldn't imagine that she was already over Fiyero, or her break-up. I had a feeling that we were getting ahead of ourselves here, and I had to slow it down.

"Wait, wait," I said, pushing Galinda away gently. "I think… we're getting ahead of ourselves here."

A confused look crossed the blonde's face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think we need to really consider what we're doing here before we just jump in and do something we'll both regret later."

"You… you regret this?"

"No, not this… I mean, I don't regret being with you. Not at all. I just… I don't want you to get hurt. I need to be sure that you're… okay before we go any further."

Galinda looked as though she was contemplating this, and she soon rolled off of me, getting off the bed and heading over to her closet. I sat up, not exactly comfortable with her silence.

"Galinda… you understand why I'm saying this… right?"

"Yes… I understand." The blonde emerged wearing a silky white nightdress. "Fresh dreams, Elphie."

That was unexpected. "Uh… fresh dreams." I watched the blonde climb into bed and I sat there, unsure what to do. Finally, I stood up and changed into my own nightdress before I climbed into bed myself, extinguishing the lamp.

* * *

"_Sing us a song, you're the piano man! Sing us a song tonight! Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling all right!_"

I knew right away who that was as that awful song pulled me from my sleep. I got out of bed and went over to the window, opening it and looking outside. Yes, sure enough, there was Avaric, stumbling around, drunk as ever.

"Hey! Jackass! We're trying to sleep!" I called.

He looked around a little bit before his eyes fell on me. "Elphaba! You're still awake?"

"You woke me, jerkweed! Now shut up!" I closed the window firmly, locking it. I went back to my bed, but a sudden gasp stopped me. I turned around and saw Galinda lying on her back, the covers kicked away. She gasped again as I approached, and her hands suddenly flew to her neck.

"Can't… breathe…"

I was by her side in a second, looking for what could be choking her, only to find that she was still asleep… and there was nothing around her neck.

"Galinda, there's nothing there! Wake up!" I said, grabbing her shoulders. The blonde continued to gasp for air, and I pulled her hands away from her throat. "Galinda, wake up!"

Her eyes suddenly opened and focused on me, but she was still gasping for air.

"Breathe, Galinda!" I said, pushing down on her chest. The blonde finally took a deep breath in and slowly, her breathing returned to normal.

"Elphie!" she wailed, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"It's all right. You're okay," I said as I sat down on her bed. Galinda scrambled into my lap and I held her close as she sobbed into my nightdress.

"W-why is this happening to me?"

"It's trauma. I told you: you're not completely over this yet."

Galinda looked up at me. "You always have an answer, don't you?"

I offered her a smile. "I try."

Galinda lay her head against my chest, sniffling. "Elphaba, would you… could you maybe… sleep with me tonight?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Galinda, I don't think—"

"I didn't mean like that."

"Oh!" Well, I felt silly now. "Sure. If it'll help you sleep."

"It will. I need you close, Elphie. I need that familiar scent of soap and charred wood."

"Is that really what I smell like?"

"To me."

"Huh. I never knew, having never smelled myself you see."

Galinda's laugh was choked with a sob.

"It's late. Let's try to get some more sleep, all right?" I said. Galinda nodded and we both lay down. I pulled the ridiculously pink comforter over us and Galinda made herself comfortable in my arms.

"Elphaba?"

"Mmm?"

"What do I smell like?"

I laughed slightly at that. "You… are a very exotic flower." I opened my eyes and smiled down at her. "My personal paradise."


	12. Entry 12

"Dr. Dillamond!" I burst through the classroom door, looking around frantically for the Goat. "Dr. Dillamond!"

"Miss Elphaba, is something wrong?"

I turned towards the familiar voice and let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, Dr. Dillamond, thank Oz. I thought something had… when I didn't see you last night at dinner… Boq forgot to tell me that you were…"

"Elphaba, it's all right. I'm fine. The reason I requested to see you last night was because I need to speak to you."

"What about?"

Dr. Dillamond shook his head. "It is a very private matter, one that is not safe to discuss here."

Uh, oh. I didn't like the sound of that. I was about to say something else, but it was at that moment that my very irate roommate decided to make her entrance.

"I woke up and you were gone!" Galinda said angrily, moving in front of me. "You left without even saying anything!"

"Galinda—"

"No, I'm not finished!"

"Galinda!"

The blonde paused and turned, realizing that Dr. Dillamond was standing behind her. "O-oh, Dr. Dillamond. I'm sorry, I didn't… realize that you two were talking."

"It's quite all right, Miss Glinda."

The blonde started to open her mouth, most likely to correct the Goat on the pronunciation of her name, but I placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. Eventually she would have to learn to just let it go.

"Why don't you two take your seats?"

Galinda and I nodded before we moved to sit down. I made my way to my favorite spot: the farthest back corner of the room. I had just settled into my seat and was about to open my book when I caught a familiar floral scent. I looked up to see Galinda looking down at me, her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving, but I was worried about Dr. Dillamond and I wanted to make sure he was all right," I said, assuming that was why she was giving me that harsh look.

"Why do you always insist on sitting way back here?"

Oh, she was already onto the next subject. "I'm comfortable back here. I don't like people sitting behind me because I don't like feeling their eyes on me. Besides, in the back, I'm less of a distraction."

"But if I sit in the back, a tall person always sits in front of me and then I can't see."

Okay, now I was a little confused. I hated that the blonde could confuse me so easily. "But you always sit in the front, so why—" Oh. It suddenly hit me: she didn't like me sitting in the back because she wanted to sit next to me. "Galinda, I thought we discussed—"

"Elphaba, us sitting together does not imply a romantic involvement in the slightest. We can at least be friends in public, can't we?"

"I don't know if that's the best idea," I said, my eyes flashing towards the door. Galinda looked confused, and turned to see that her friends were entering. She turned back to me.

"Oh, Elphie, don't make me sit with them again. I can feel my brain cells dying off whenever they open their mouths."

"Careful. Those don't come back."

"Exactically!"

"But, remember my sweet, you chose them as your friends. I had no part in that at all, and if you drop them all of a sudden to be with me, you can kiss your popularity goodbye."

Galinda looked down and I could tell by the look in her eyes that this was truly hard for her. I knew that her popularity meant so much to her and mainly because that was how she had lived her entire life. But… it seemed as though her love for me was growing and as scary as it was for me to say this, I was falling for the blonde as well. It was only scary because I had never felt this way towards anyone ever in my life, and for Galinda to have this sort of… power, was it? Whatever it was, for her to have it over me was frightening because I was always in control. The thought of someone being able to… "control" me was terrifying. It really was.

"Elphaba… you're staring off into space again with that contemplative look." Galinda's voice brought me from my thoughts and I looked up at her, noticing the slight smile that was playing across her pink lips.

"You'd better take your seat before class starts," I said, looking back down at my book. There was a pause, and then I heard someone sit in the seat next to me. I looked back up and jumped slightly when I saw that it was Galinda, and she was currently setting her bag down by the desk leg.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, somewhat horrified, yet slightly excited. "You can't sit here!"

"I can sit anywhere I like and right now, I am sitting next to my roommate, who happens to also be my best friend."

"Best… friend?" No one had ever called me that before. In fact, I couldn't even remember a time when I had been called a "friend" in general.

Galinda looked up at me and our eyes met. "I mean it, Elphie. You are my best friend."

My mouth opened and closed a few times (very uncharacteristic of me) before I turned my attention to my forgotten book, which lie on the desk. "I think it may be too soon to promote me to such a high status," I muttered.

"Elphaba—" Galinda started, reaching for my hand, which was resting on the desk.

"All right everyone, settle down," Dr. Dillamond said. I quickly pulled my hand away, busying it with pulling a fresh notebook from my bag, as well as a pen. "First of all, welcome back to another year here at our dear old Shiz. I trust you all had an enjoyable summer vacation and that as hard as it is to let those days go, we must get back into the swing of our education. Now, shall we begin with a slight refresher of where we left off last semester?"

All through class, I could feel Galinda's friends casting glares back at us, but while I was usually fully focused on my notes every class period, having Galinda beside me today was somewhat distracting. Perhaps it was that exotic scent that followed her everywhere she went; whatever it was, I was having trouble focusing. I suppose that part of the reason could be that I caught a glimpse of sketch paper and immediately I wanted to know if it was me she was drawing. After all, that was what had broken the silence between us… in a way. And add in the fact that every time I tried to look, Galinda moved in a way to hide the drawing from me, and I had myself an exceedingly suspicious situation.

* * *

"But it doesn't make sense! Why blame an entire race for an act of nature?"

"Human are impulsive creatures, and when bad things happen, they immediately look for someone they can blame so they can direct all their fear onto said subject. By projecting fear, humans can fool themselves into thinking that the fear does not exist and what they are feeling is just rage. It all boils down to inner turmoil within a society, and on an individual level as well."

Galinda paused as she leaned back, supporting herself with her hands. "It just doesn't seem right. Why are humans so reluctant to deal with fear?"

"Fear is often associated with weakness, and as I'm sure you know, no one likes to be weak. Besides, placing blame on someone else makes humans feel stronger."

"But why?"

I shook my head. "The why is never really explored, is it? Why else would we have these debates if we knew the real reason for human nature?"

Galinda looked at me. "You know, I never found enjoyment in these kinds of conversations before I met you."

"Well, I'm glad I was able to save your brain before it withered away," I said with a small smile. It was our lunch break, and we were seated under the tall apple trees. I still wasn't exactly comfortable with Galinda spending so much time with me, but she was adamant as ever, so I saw no way to get rid of her. I noticed that Galinda was rubbing her throat again, something she did nowadays.

"Hey… don't do that," I said, grasping her wrist gently and moving it away from her throat.

"Sorry, Elphie, but sometimes I just… I feel like its still there… still tightening around my throat."

"Phantom pains. They'll go away."

"How do you know?"

I looked down. "I… I just know. Trust me, okay?" I said, giving her a smile. That was only part of the truth… and something that I was not about to go in to.

"All right. I trust you," the blonde said. She sighed as she tilted her head back, closing her eyes. She kicked her heels off and I couldn't help but look at her delicate feet, which somehow managed to look pretty even after they had been in heels since the morning. Before I really knew what I was doing, I had repositioned myself closer to the blonde and took her right foot in my hands, beginning to massage it. Galinda let out a noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a cry of surprise as she looked at me.

"Elphaba—"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to help you relax."

Galinda smiled. "And you were concerned about me giving away our relationship."

I smiled slightly as I continued to massage her foot, pressing my thumbs into the arch. Galinda let out a sigh of content and her eyes closed again.

"Oh, Elphie… you're amazing," she sighed as I continued to work on her foot.

"I've had some practice."

"Oh?"

"Nessa, my sister, gets foot cramps from time to time, so I've had time to perfect my technique," I said before I released her foot and moved onto the other one.

Galinda sighed again, and there was silence between us as I continued the massaging. I finished up and started to withdraw, but Galinda grabbed my wrists, stopping me.

"Please don't stop," she said, guiding my hands back to her feet. I placed my hands on her right ankle and began to massage my way up her leg, stopping at her knee. I could feel my face growing hot as I did this; it was a highly suggestive situation, after all. If anyone happened upon us… well, let's just say it would be less than ideal.

"I do believe you are blushing Miss Thropp."

My face grew darker at that and I found myself unable to look at Galinda's face. Instead, I said, "So what subject had you captivated today in Dr. Dillamond's class?"

"It's a secret."

"But you said it yourself: we're best friends. We don't keep secrets."

"That is not true! I know for a fact that you keep secrets from me!"

"But how can you know for sure if they're truly secrets? If you knew about them, then they would only be superficial secrets. My real secrets I would keep secret from you and you wouldn't even know they existed; therefore, you wouldn't even know that I was keeping them and—"

Galinda placed a finger over my lips, stopping me mid-sentence. "You're smart Elphie, but sometimes you talk a little too much."

I smiled. "My family says the same thing. But honestly Galinda… the drawing?"

The blonde sighed. "Well… if you must know… I was drawing a particularly interesting subject."

"Oh?"

Galinda nodded. "Simply fascinating."

I felt my jealously begin to spark. "And just who was this subject?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Me? Jealous? Don't be silly…"

"You are jealous!" The blonde laughed. She reached into her bag and extracted a piece of paper, which she handed over to me. I took the paper from her and looked down at the subject.

I should have known it was me.

There I was, sitting at my desk, taking notes feverishly with one hand while the other pushed my glasses back up my nose.

"You capture me so well," I said, handing the drawing back to Galinda.

"Well, as I said… I have one of the best subjects."

* * *

"I have to go, my sweet. Dr. Dillamond is expecting me."

"Now?"

I looked up from where I was lacing my boots. "Yes, now. I've waited long enough as it is, and from I gathered from our conversation today, he seems increasingly concerned… and nervous."

"Well… don't come back too late."

"I can't make any promises; you know that," I said, standing up.

Galinda crossed her arms with a slight pout. "Fine."

I smiled, mussing up her hair as I passed by, eliciting a small scream.

"Elphaba!"

I quickly left before she could retaliate, though I expected some form of payback would eventually come my way. We may be in a relationship of sorts… but some things never changed.

* * *

After I knocked on Dr. Dillamond's office door, the sound of shattering glass reached my ears.

"I… I am very busy! Come back tomorrow!" I heard him call. His voice sounded… panicked?

"Dr. Dillamond, it's Elphaba."

"Oh, Elphaba? Is that you? Come in."

I opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind me. The office was in slight disarray, and not the same organized mess it had been when I had last seen it.

"Dr. Dillamond?"

The Goat stepped out from behind a mess of books and papers. "Elphaba, thank goodness it's you. I was afraid you were… well… it doesn't matter."

"What's going on?"

Dr. Dillamond shook his head. "It is becoming more and more dangerous for me here, Elphaba. I fear that my teaching career may soon come to an end… and my research…" He looked around the office before shaking his head again. "I am close to a breakthrough, Elphaba. I can feel it, so you and I must work quickly now, and even more secretive than before. You must tell no one from here on out: not Miss Galinda, not Master Boq; no one. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Do you?" His tone was sharp and accusing; very unlike him.

"Yes, of course!"

I saw his eyes soften. "Of course… well, let us begin."

A knock on the door caused us both to look up. I started to approach, but Dr. Dillamond put out an arm, stopping me.

"I'm very busy. Come back tomorrow," he said.

"Dr. Dillamond, it's Garrett. You asked me to come by?"

"Oh, Master Garrett. Come in."

"Dr. Dillamond, are you sure you can trust—"

The door opened, forcing me to stop. My eyes narrowed as they fell on Master Garrett. I didn't like the fact that he seemed to be showing up everywhere I went. Hadn't he caused me enough trouble already?

"O-oh, Miss Elphaba! I didn't realize you were working with Dr. Dillamond as well," Master Garrett said as he approached.

"I've been working with him since last semester," I said, and not without a certain edge to my voice.

"Oh… yes, well… I just started."

"Dr. Dillamond!"

The Goat looked up at the sound of Madame Morrible's sharp voice. "I'll be right there!" he called back, approaching the door and exiting, closing it behind him. This left Master Garrett and myself alone… and the silence ensued.

Master Garrett scratched the back of his head as he cleared his throat. "So… you know Dr. Dillamond well?"

"He trusts me… he doesn't judge me. He knows what it's like to be looked down upon just because of who one is." I cast my dark glance at Master Garrett. "And how do you know Dr. Dillamond?"

"Well… truthfully, I am interested in the Animals' plight for equality, and I want to see something done about it. It's not fair that others are looked down upon just because they're… different."

I looked at Master Garrett. "Truthfully, I find it hard to believe you."

Master Garrett shook his head. "You know Miss Elphaba, I could be your friend, if you'd let me."

I turned to face him, my long braid whipping around and almost smacking me in the face (which would have been comical, but this was not a comical situation). "And pray tell, Master Garrett, why the green bean of Shiz would ever be friends with Master Tall, Blonde, and Handsome."

Master Garrett smiled slightly. "You think I'm handsome?"

I rolled my eyes. "Please. That's just what all those other gossiping hens say."

"Miss Elphaba… we're going to be working together, so could we perhaps not be enemies?"

"I suppose we won't be enemies… but we're _not _friends."

* * *

It was late by the time I left Dr. Dillamond's office that night. It was true what he had said: we were working much more diligently now than before, and I had completely lost track of the time. Now I was trekking across the grass back to Crage Hall… and I suddenly had the feeling of eyes on me. I quickened my pace, keeping my eyes on the looking shape of Crage Hall. I quickly reached the entrance and slipped inside, ascending the stairs to the second floor.

As I reached the door to our room, it occurred to me that Galinda was most likely asleep, and Oz was she cranky if woken up. Not wanting to incur her wrath, I unlocked the door slowly, pushing it open silently. I slipped inside the room, closing the door behind me without a sound. I was just about to congratulate myself on a job well done when I heard the blonde stir. Crap!

"El… phieeeee…"

I approached the side of her bed to apologize when I saw that her eyes were closed. I was about to assume that she was asleep, but then my eyes fell on two things: one, the fact that she was wearing nothing but a pair of panties, and two, where her hands were. My face immediately turned dark green, I'm sure. One hand clutching her… breast and another was down the front of her… ahem… you get the picture right? And the fact that it was my name coming from her mouth… well… awkward situation all around, and not something I had expected to return to.

Another gasp and moan from Galinda reminded me that I shouldn't be watching this, but it was like watching a train wreck; I couldn't look away! Besides, I had never imagined that I could ever be such a… satisfying partner.

Galinda let out a cry of pleasure, which told me that she had hit her… peak. I watched as she withdrew her hand, her chest heaving. I was about to retreat when her eyes suddenly opened and focused on me before I could move.

"Elphaba…"

"I… uh… I wasn't… I mean I…"

The blonde sat up slowly, her eyes never leaving me. "You… you saw that?"

"Uh… um… nrgh… ah…" Brilliant Elphaba. She'll never know _now_. As my response, I grabbed her bed sheet and pulled it up, concealing her… chest.

"Elphaba..."

"I… I… I hope I was… satisfactory?" I asked, sitting on the edge of Galinda's bed, unable to look at her.

"Wha—oh. Um… I didn't think you would—"

"Hear you say my name?"

I saw a pale hand move on top of my own. "Elphaba—"

"It's all right. I understand why you did it."

"You… do?"

I nodded slowly. "You're… lonely, and my staying out late working doesn't help. You're still recovering from the incident that occurred over the summer; Fiyero breaking up with you has left a pretty big hole in your life, one that I can't fully fill... yet. You need release… and a way to maybe fill that hole?"

Silence. It appeared that once again, my logical approach hadn't been… the best one. Rather than wait for her reply, I stood up and made my way to my closet to change into my nightdress. I changed, and then emerged, only to find Galinda sitting on my bed. Oh, Oz.

"Galinda… look, I just want you to know that I don't… think any less of you just because I saw you… well… pleasuring yourself," I said, moving to sit on my bed, leaning back against the headboard.

"Elphaba… I don't know if I… can do this… anymore."

Whoa. What? That took me by surprise. "Wha—is it something I did? I'm sorry I haven't been the most attentive person, but you have to understand—"

Galinda put a finger to my lips, stopping me mid-sentence. "Elphie, it's nothing you did. I just… I just don't think that this is fair to you."

"Fair to… me?"

Galinda nodded.

"I'm afraid you've lost me, my sweet."

"As you pointed out, I'm still recovering from… Fiyero. I mean… what you said was true, and for me to drag you into this sort of relationship just because I'm lonely… well, it just isn't fair to you at all. I couldn't bear to see you unhappy or to be… hurt because of me."

I took Galinda's hands into my own, looking into her sapphire eyes which were shining with tears. "Galinda… I'm with you because I want to be with you. This isn't out of pity; believe me, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's pity. And besides, I realize that you're in pain right now, and I want you to know that… I'm here for you. Through thick and thin, I'll be here… no matter what. We'll get through together… I promise."

Galinda looked at me with a sigh. "Are you sure… this is what you want?"

"Of course." I pulled the blonde close, wrapping my arms around her as I placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Now, why don't you… clothe yourself and we'll get some sleep."

"Can I sleep in your bed Elphie?"

"If it will satisfy you."

* * *

I was sure that if we could have avoided Master Fiyero forever, we would have, but Shiz University was only so big, and Master Fiyero Tiggular was a stubborn man. We had been staving him off as best we could, but I… I just knew he'd keep coming back, though Oz knows why.

"Miss Elphaba, I wish to have a word with you."

I paused, mere feet from the door. Galinda turned to look at me, a questioning expression on her face.

"You go," I said before I turned around and headed back to Morrible's desk, where she was standing, looking at me, her fingers strumming against the desk in a rather annoyed manner. "Yes Madame?"

"Miss Elphaba, may I ask why you went to Dr. Dillamond's office last night?"

"You may ask, Madame, but I don't think I'll give you answer."

"Such disrespect! Need I remind you, Miss Elphaba, that I am your headmistress?"

"You needn't remind me. I know your position well enough."

Morrible's eyes narrowed. "What were you doing at Dr. Dillamond's office last night?"

Oh, now I was treading into dangerous water, but how could I betray Dr. Dillamond? Still… telling off Morrible wasn't the best idea.

"Madame… that is none of your business!"

I had never seen Morrible's face turn _that_ particular shade of red.

"_MISS ELPHABA_…"

Oh, sweet Oz, help me.

* * *

Well… at least I hadn't been expelled. I sighed as I made my way down the empty hall which had long ago been devoid of students. Obviously, Morrible had not been happy about my… blunt response and… well… she wasn't happy.

"Galinda, just listen to me!"

"NO!"

"Galinda—"

"Leave me alone!"

I didn't like the sound of those angry voices, especially considering the fact that Galinda was involved. I started running towards them, skidding around a corner. My eyes fell on the sight of Master Fiyero… and he was currently pinning my girlfriend up against the wall!

"Get off!" I shouted, approaching the two and shoving Fiyero away. Galinda wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in my shirt. I put an arm around her, fixing my glare on Master Fiyero.

"Look, Elphaba, you stay out of this—"

"Like hell I will!"

"This doesn't concern you!"

"I'll have you know that it's because of me Galinda is still with us today!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Of course you wouldn't know, you insensitive jackass!"

"STOP IT!"

Master Fiyero and I both looked down at the blonde who had shouted.

"Galinda…" I started.

"Stop fighting!"

I glared up at Master Fiyero again. "Now look what you've done!"

"Me?"

"I SAID STOP!" Galinda pushed away from me, her hands to her face. "I'm not worth this!" She bolted away, her sobs echoing off the halls.

I had more to say, I really did, but at that moment, Galinda was more of a concern than Master Fiyero. "I'm not done with you yet, you cheating bastard," I said, pointing a green finger at him accusingly. I left him behind as I started after the blonde. "Galinda! Galinda, wait!"

I eventually found the blonde outside, huddled under the apple trees. "Galinda?" She didn't reply and I could see that her shoulders were shaking with sobs. I sighed as I moved to kneel beside her, placing a hand on her back gently. "Galinda, I'm sorry I wasn't there to… protect you."

Galinda finally looked up at me, her face tear-stained. "No… I need to be able to fight my own battles… but I'm not ready Elphie!" She burst into tears again and I pulled her into my arms.

"I understand, my sweet."

"So… where were you anyway?"

"I, uh… I told Morrible off."

"You what?" Galinda asked, looking up at me.

"Morrible asked me about Dr. Dillamond, so I told her it was none of her business. She, uh… she didn't like that."

Galinda let out a laugh that was choked by her tears. "What was your punishment for that?"

"A week of detention."

"That doesn't sound so—"

"Morrible's detention. Three hours every day after dinner."

"Oh. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but… Elphie, I'd really hate to be you right now."


	13. Entry 13

"Good evening, Miss Elphaba. Sit."

I started for the back of the room.

"No, no. Sit up here."

I turned on my heel and returned to the front of the room, sliding into the desk directly in front of Morrible's desk and dropping my bag onto the floor. The room was empty except for the two of us, and we were glaring at each other in a way that expressed we'd like nothing more than to see the other crumple to the floor in a sudden attack of the spleen. If she was waiting for me to apologize, it wasn't happening.

Morrible took a piece of paper off her desk and set it on mine.

"Are you assigning me lines?" I asked, looking up at her. I was no stranger to that.

_I will not throw rocks at the other students_.

Yes, I remembered writing those.

"No. You are going to write to your father."

"And tell him what? That I'm in detention? I assure you, Madame, he won't care in the slightest. This letter will be nothing but a nuisance to him. My sister would be more concerned than my father."

"I didn't say you were going to send it."

I raised an eyebrow. What in Oz's name was she getting at here? "You want me to write my father a letter that he's not going to receive?"

"Do not concern yourself with the details Miss Elphaba. This is my detention, so I suggest you just do as I say, or I will remove you from Dr. Dillamond's class."

I bit back the satirical comment I had planned, mostly because I did not like the idea of transferring classes. "All right." I leaned down to reach into my bag for my pen, resigning myself to the fact that I was just going to have to do what she wanted, however ridiculous.

"Oh, no, Miss Elphaba. I will provide you with a pen," I heard Morrible say. I looked back up at her as she placed a red pen on my desk and I repeated the eyebrow raising action. I wasn't quite sure what was going on here, but I had a bad feeling about it. Still, I knew I had to do what Morrible said. I happened to enjoy being at Shiz, after all.

"Well, begin."

"What exactly do you want me to write?" I asked as I picked up the pen.

"First, you will explain why you are here; how you disrespected me and participated in… subversive Animal activity."

"Wha- subversive? You're crazy!" I shouted before I could stop myself. It was the truth, though! She was crazy!

Morrible shot me a look and I looked down. "I apologize Madame," I said, lying through my clenched teeth. "Forgive me."

"You will apologize to him for your actions and tell him how I graciously allow you to remain at Shiz University," Morrible continued as she started to circle around my desk slowly. She paused when she was behind my chair, gripping my shoulder as if it were a bicycle handle.

Well, this wasn't creepy at all, the green woman said with heavy sarcasm.

I gripped the pen tightly, but made no other response. Writing something like that would be demeaning, of course, but so would packing my bags and walking down the halls of Shiz for the last time. So, with heavy reluctance I placed my pen to the paper, starting my letter as I started all others.

_My Dear Father,_

There was a strange, sudden, sharp pain in my hand and I looked at it to see the exact words I had just written were fading away in my green flesh. Wait… I looked back at the paper and saw that the ink was red.

"Is something wrong?" Morrible asked, and I could almost hear the smug grin on her face.

Now I knew what was going on here. It wasn't a coincidence that we were here alone. And I know knew why there was no need for this letter to be sent. This was to teach me a lesson. I was writing this with my own blood. Oh, she was evil. Unionist fathers, debate no more. I know where evil lies.

"No. Nothing," I replied, looking up at Morrible as she moved back in front of me.

"Carry on then, Miss Elphaba."

I looked back down at the paper. This was going to hurt.

_I am writing you this letter to inform you that I am currently sitting in Madame Morrible's classroom, serving the first day of my detention._

By the time I signed my name at the bottom of the letter, my hand was throbbing in pain. Every word, every line had been etched into my hand before fading away, though each one had gone deeper and deeper, but it didn't appear as though I would be left with any permanent damage.

"I'm finished," I said, setting the pen down.

"Very good." Morrible approached and took the letter off my desk, placing it on her own. I reached for my bag, considering that I still had enough time to run down to Dr. Dillamond's office.

"Miss Elphaba, your detention is not over yet."

I looked up at Morrible, slightly confused. "But I wrote—"

"Your detention is for three hours, and the letter was only the beginning. Now you may write your lines."

"Lines?"

Morrible placed a few sheets of paper on my desk. "I must respect my superiors."

"Did you disrespect them as well?"

Morrible gave me a harsh look. "That is what I want you to write."

"How many times?"

"Until your detention is over."

I suppose I should have seen that one coming. I picked up the pen and wrote the first line.

_I must respect my superiors._

Oh, that one hurt more than before! I looked at my hand and saw that the line had been etched deeper than the letter had been. So, this was how she worked then. Well, I'd be damned if I let her win this war!

* * *

Okay, she came close to winning. Morrible had finally released me from my torture and I was now currently walking back to Crage Hall, holding my injured hand close to my body. I couldn't believe that I still had four more days of this. Still, it was worth it… to protect Dr. Dillamond and his research. If anything, this only encouraged me to assist him further.

Upon entering our room, I found Galinda sitting on her bed, leaning back against the headboard with a thick textbook in her lap. She was currently chewing on her pen, her brow slightly furrowed. It appeared as though whatever was on those pages was proving to be a challenge.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" I asked as I approached my bed, allowing my bag to slide off my shoulder and onto the floor.

The blonde looked up and smiled. "I thought you'd like a little cheering up after your first night of detention, my little rebel."

"You shouldn't deprive yourself of sleep just because of me," I said.

Galinda shrugged before she marked her page and closed her book, setting it down. "I couldn't sleep anyway."

"Oh?" I approached her bed and she shifted, raising herself up onto her knees. "And why ever would that be, my sweet?"

"I didn't hear your breathing," Galinda replied, wrapping her arms around my neck loosely. "It's… soothing to have you in the same room."

"That's not the tune you were singing this time last year," I said, lifting my hand and placing it on the side of her face. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about my… injuries, and Galinda noticed before I could pull away.

"What happened to your hand?" she asked, grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand closer to her face.

"I… I fell on some gravel outside." What a ridiculous lie! What in Oz had possessed me to say that?

Galinda gave me a flat look. "Oh, yes. That gravel that spells out 'I must respect my superiors'."

"So you've seen it too."

"Elphaba… what happened?"

I sighed. "Well, Morrible gave me this pen and when I wrote with it, it turned out the ink was actually my own blood and… well, you can see the result."

"This is torture! You've got to go tell the headmistress right now!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Galinda… Morrible is the headmistress."

The blonde's face fell. "Oh… right." She sighed. "At least let me clean it for you."

"No one is stopping you."

Galinda hopped off her bed and ran into the bathroom. I sat down on the mattress, looking down at my hand, which was lightly scarred. By the time this week was through, I had a feeling it would be there permanently.

"I still can't believe she did that to you!" Galinda said, emerging from the bathroom with a washrag and my bottle of oil in hand.

"Well believe it, because it's going to happen four more times this week," I said as the blonde poured some oil onto the rag. She shook her head as she pressed it against my wound, but the stinging pain caused me to hiss and yank my hand away.

"Elphaba, you can't move."

"Yeah, well, that hurt!"

Galinda rolled her eyes. "Don't be a baby."

"I'm not! You just need to be gentle!"

The blonde shook her head before she grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand towards her, with me only half-resisting. I hissed again when she pressed the rag against my hand.

"Elphaba… you need to tell someone about this," Galinda said, not looking up at me.

"No."

The blonde did look up at me that time. "But—"

"First off, no one would believe me. Secondly, what good would it do? It would only be admitting weakness. No, I have to stick this one out. I won't give in to Morrible's torturous—ow!"

Galinda had purposely pressed the rag harder against my wound, most likely to stop me from continuing. "This just had to turn into a battle of wills, didn't it? Elphaba, that's going to get you into trouble someday!"

"I think it already did, my sweet." I looked down into her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Galinda shook her head. "Elphie, I worry about you."

"You shouldn't," I mumbled. "I'm not worth that much."

"Elphie, you are… to me…"

"Worth fighting someone of significant standing and power?"

"Of course! You're worth—oh, I see where this is going." Galinda sighed, leaning against me. "You're, uh… you're referring to what I said today while you and Fiyero were fighting, aren't you?"

"Glad to see you do know how to use that brain of yours," I said, running a hand through her golden curls.

"Hey! I use my brain quite a lot, thank you very much! Maybe not as much as you, but I do…" Galinda protested, pushing away from me and giving me a glare.

I rolled my eyes. "The fact of the matter is that we can't tell anyone… so don't even think about it. This is between Morrible… and myself."

"Not even Dr. Dillamond?"

"Especially not Dr. Dillamond! How do you think this would make him feel?"

Galinda sighed. "Elphaba… you don't have to always go into things alone, you know."

"It's easier that way. That way if I get hurt… the only person I can blame is myself."

"You think I'd hurt you?"

I saw the pained look forming in her eyes. "Of course not. I just… I'm used to being independent, you know? It's not something I can just give up."

Galinda nodded slowly. "I suppose…" She sat down on the bed beside me. "Elphaba… tell me a secret."

"Wha—" That took me by surprise, seeing as that question had nothing to do with what we had just been talking about. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"We should be going to sleep. It's late."

Galinda shook her head as she leaned against me. "I can't… or I'll feel it again. Tightening around my throat…"

Now I knew why she had stayed up waiting for me. She couldn't sleep alone… or she'd been haunted by those awful phantom pains again. I couldn't think of anything that could be done, except for the passing of time.

"Well… despite what people may think, green is not my favorite color."

Galinda let out a small laugh. "I can't imagine why…" She looked up at me. "What is it then?"

"Navy I suppose."

Galinda made a face. "Navy? But that's so… dark…"

"Are you going to run a commentary on all my secrets?"

"That wasn't a secret, Elphie."

"Fine. What constitutes a secret then?"

Galinda thought. "Well… I draw. What do you do?"

"Read."

She made a face. "I meant besides the obvious."

"I see. Well… I can play the piano."

Galinda sat up suddenly. "You can?" She seemed far too excited over that little piece of newfound information.

"Yes…"

"How come you never played for me?"

"An opportunity never presented itself."

Galinda crossed her arms huffily. "I don't think that's exactly fair, Elphie. I mean, you get to see my drawings all the time."

"Pianos don't just materialize out of thin air, Galinda, and they aren't exactly the right size to be carried around in one's pocket or bag." Galinda still didn't seem satisfied with my answer and I smiled slightly. "Look, the next time we find a piano I'll play something for you, all right?"

Galinda gave a short, huffy sigh. "Fine. I suppose I can live with that." Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Let's go shopping tomorrow!"

I raised an eyebrow. How in Oz did this woman's brain work? "You just can't stay on one subject for very long, can you?"

Galinda waved her hand at me, as if what I was saying mattered little to her. "You need new outfits anyway. Three dresses is far too small a wardrobe for any woman, no matter what color she is." The blonde hopped off the bed and ran to her desk, rummaging through a few drawers before she came back to where I was. "Though finding dresses for you will be a little more difficult than usual… with your height and skinniness…"

"Wha—" I started, but Galinda had yanked me up off the bed to stand in front of her.

"Hold this," she said, handing me one end of a measuring tape. I took it and she dropped to her knees, bringing the tape down with her. "Oh, Elphie… why do you have to be so tall?"

"I'm not. You're just rather short."

Galinda glared up at me before she let the tape go. It shot up as it retracted, hitting my fingers, which caused me to yelp and drop it.

"I admit I am… shorter than I should be for my age, but you're taller than almost every other girl here," the blonde said as she stood up.

"This is true. Maybe every other girl here is unusually short as well, though. Perhaps I am the only one who is normal height, and you all happen to have a Munchkin complex. Perhaps I am among the few who did not receive the stunted growth gene that you all seem to posses."

"Must you always do that? Go off on those… tangents?"

"It's a character trait of mine. Does it bother you, my sweet?"

"Sometimes it is a little…"

"Annoying? Frustrating? Thought-provoking?"

Galinda smiled slightly. "All of the above."

I grinned. "Yes, I do have a tendency to do that."

* * *

"… So I'm thinking a nice bright color on you would look wonderful, Elphie. Something pretty."

"I don't wear pretty things, Galinda. We've discussed this."

"Yes, last year, back when we were barely speaking."

"My body hasn't changed since then; our relationship has had no effect on _that_."

Galinda made a face at me. "You're so difficult, Elphie."

"As you love to remind me."

We reached Dr. Dillamond's classroom, only to find that the door was closed. That was odd. I grasped the handle and tried to turn it, only to find that it was locked. "Wha—"

"Elphie, look."

I looked up and my eyes fell on a paper taped to the door.

_All of Dr. Dillamond's history classes have been cancelled today._

"Cancelled?" That wasn't like the Goat at all. He never missed a class… I felt a chill come over me and my heart skipped a beat. "Dr. Dillamond!" I turned on my heel and bolted down the hall.

"Elphaba!" I heard Galinda call, but I didn't wait. I leapt down the stairs, practically knocking over a couple at the bottom. I leapt down the basement steps, banging the door open at the bottom. My hurried footsteps echoed off the walls and I soon reached the Goat's office. I pounded on the door frantically.

"Dr. Dillamond! It's Elphaba!"

There was no reply. I pounded harder.

"Dr. Dillamond!"

"Elphaba!"

I felt someone grab my arm and I turned to see Galinda, her eyes searching my face.

"He isn't here!"

"No… no, no, no! Something happened… he wouldn't…"

"Elphaba…"

I let my arms drop to my sides. "This isn't fair…"

Galinda slipped her hand into mine and gave it a slight tug. "Come on, Elphie."

* * *

I suppose that for Galinda, the ultimate distraction and "feel-good" was shopping, though I couldn't say that I exactly felt the same. Still, I appreciated the fact that Galinda was trying her best to distract me from… whatever was happening here.

"Elphaba?"

I realized that my blonde roommate was saying my name and I focused my attention on her. "Yes?"

Galinda sighed. "Elphie… you spaced out again… how am I supposed to pick out any clothes for you if you keep doing that?"

"I'm sorry Galinda."

Her expression softened. "I realize you're worried about Dr. Dillamond… I am too, but he's going to be all right. He's lasted this long… I'm sure he's fine, wherever he is."

I nodded slowly, though I didn't fully agree. "I hope you're right."

Galinda's face fell and she sighed. "Elphaba… I wish you could enjoy yourself a little more…"

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "Galinda… it isn't you… I am happy, really… it's just, when I start worrying about something… well, I tend to dwell on it more than I should. Please don't be upset. If it'll make you happy to get me some new dresses, then I'll do my best to show interest, all right?"

Galinda nodded, giving me a small smile. "You're a hard person to know, Elphaba Thropp… just like a closed book… but I'm glad… thank you."

I furrowed my brow. "What are you thanking me for?"

Galinda shook her head. "What do you think of this one?" She held up a coffee-colored dress. "I think it might actually fit your figure… and it doesn't look too depressing like other browns would on you."

"I suppose it's nice."

"Just nice?"

"Um… it's very nice?"

Galinda rolled her eyes. "For such a smart woman, sometimes you really sound like a fool."

"Proves I'm human."

I thought I heard Galinda whisper, "You're no human..."

"What was that?" I said.

Galinda smiled at me. "I'm going to get it. This dress."

"Look, I… I don't exactly have the money to pay you back right now—"

Galinda put a slim finger to my lips, stopping me. "Money doesn't matter, Elphie. I'm doing this for you… as is my duty as your best friend."

I smiled before I kissed Galinda's finger softly. "Well aren't you just _soooo _good?"

* * *

When we arrived back at Shiz, I was surprised to see Master Garrett sitting outside Crage Hall, his pen scratching across the pages of a notebook.

"Waiting for someone, or were you just born to plague me?" I asked as we approached. Master Garrett looked up, his face telling me that he was surprised to see me. He stood quickly.

"Elphie, be nice," Galinda said, hitting my arm lightly.

"Miss Elphaba… I must admit my concern for Dr. Dillamond," he said. "Especially considering the fact that Madame Morrible and he—"

"SHUSH!"

Both blondes looked startled by that, but I didn't care.

"Do you _want_ to give him away?" I hissed.

"N-no, but I—"

"Then shut your mouth! We cannot talk about that in public! Morrible has eyes and ears everywhere, ESPECIALLY around Crage Hall!"

Master Garrett nodded. "A-all right, Miss Elphaba. I apologize."

I sighed. "Did you need anything more, besides almost completely screwing us over?"

"Uh… oh! Yes." He reached inside his jacket and pulled an envelope from an inside pocket. He held it out to me. "This was in my mailbox. It must have been mis-sorted."

I took the envelope from him, seeing that it was addressed to me in my father's handwriting. "Oh… thank you." Though I wouldn't admit it, I was somewhat glad that of all people, Master Garrett had been the one to receive my mis-sorted mail. Anyone else would have destroyed or read the letter, I'm sure, seeing as everyone knew who I was.

"I didn't read it or open it," Master Garrett said.

I realized that I had been staring at the letter silently and I quickly shook myself out of that trance. "Oh, no. I didn't think you would. I thank you again," I said, slipping the letter into my bag.

"I… hope to see you later," Master Garrett said, and I could tell he was trying to be subtle about our research with Dr. Dillamond.

"Yes, well… we'll see," I said. "Good day, Master Garrett." I entered Crage Hall, Galinda following close behind me.

"Elphaba, you could have been more polite to him," the blonde said, reprimanding me as soon as we arrived at our room.

"He isn't worth the formalities."

"Elphaba." Her tone was firm.

"Galinda, please… not now."

She sighed. "Well if not now, then when?"

"I don't want to talk about it at all, and I think that you should respect that. Can you do that or not?"

"But—"

"Can you do that or not?"

The blonde sighed again. "Fine. We won't talk about it."

"Thank you." I pulled my letter from my bag and opened it, dropping the envelope on my desk as I sat on my bed.

_Elphaba,_

_Due to circumstances that are beyond my control, I am being called away to do the Unnamed God's business. This will require my being away from Munchkinland for about a year, and in that time, I am sending Nessarose to stay at Shiz with you while I take Shell with me. Take care of your sister while I am away and do not bother writing, as Shell and I will be moving all around Oz. I place my trust in the hands of the Unnamed God._

_Frexspar Thropp_

"What is it?" Galinda asked.

"My father is leaving Munchkinland for a year… he's taking Shell with him."

"Your brother?"

I nodded.

"What about Nessa?"

"She's coming here."

"To Shiz? But I thought—"

"She is three years below me, yes, but she will just be coming to stay."

"What is Nessa like? You never talk about your family much."

I sighed. "I don't like talking about my family."

"But what about your childhood? Surely you didn't just pop into existence."

"What do you want to know? What we ate? How we played?"

She made a face. "I just want to know what your siblings are like."

"Nessa is a strong-willed, semi-invalid. She's very smart and she thinks she's holy, for she inherited Father's tasted for religion. She isn't good at taking care of others because she's never had to do it herself. She can't. My father required me to babysit her through most of my childhood. What she'll do when Nanny dies, I don't know. I suppose I'll have to take care of her again."

"What a hideous prospect for a life."

I nodded grimly, the reality weighing me down. "I couldn't agree more."

"And Shell? You never mentioned him before…"

"Male and white and whole. He's about… ten now. He is as boys are. Nessa and Shell fight a lot… perhaps being away from him will be better for her."

"And your mother?"

I froze. "It is time for this conversation to come to a close." I stood up and started searching for certain books on my shelves.

"Elphaba… fine. Who is the favorite in the family?"

"Oh, that's easy. Nessa. You'll see why when you meet her. She'd be anyone's favorite." I jumped up and grabbed a book from the top shelf. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be off."

"Elphaba—"

I left the room before she could say anything more. I had to prepare for my sister's arrival… and who knew what new troubles this would bring.

* * *

_Nessa's coming to stay a year early... she won't take kindly at all to this relationship Galinda and I have. I don't know how long we can keep it a secret from her too... and Dr. Dillamond... like Master Garrett, I fear for what this bodes. Morrible is hiding something, I know it... and I won't be able to put my mind at ease until I get to the bottom of all this._


	14. Entry 14

The next day, I found with more than some dismay that Dr. Dillamond's classes had been cancelled again. My hand was throbbing from my second night of detention and I had wrapped it in bandages to hide the incriminating sentence. Though I refused to accept it as a sign of weakness; I merely did not want questioning looks. Well… questioning looks that didn't have to do with the green, which most people had gotten over by now. It was only the first year students I had to watch out for nowadays, and they tiptoed around me in slight terror.

I was making my way through Crage Hall, not paying particular attention to my surroundings, as I had my nose buried in another book, trying to subdue my anger and resentment. In the back of my mind, something was tugging, as if trying to alert me to the fact that someone might be calling my name, but I ignored it, as the words on my page were calling to me much louder. I suddenly tripped over something and fell to the floor, my glasses falling off my face and skittering across the floor, while my book went in another direction.

A blonde blur suddenly leaned down in front of me. "You weren't supposed to fall down."

I sat back on my heels. "What did you expect me to do? Catch myself with my toes mere inches before hitting the ground and then slowly lower myself back to a standing position?"

A giggle. "That would have been impressive."

I stood up and my glasses were handed back to me. I slipped them back onto my nose and was not surprised to see my blonde roommate smiling at me. "Yes, well… I cannot be impressive all the time, I'm sorry to say."

"That's a matter of opinion," Galinda replied, picking up my book and returning to my side. "Elphie, surely you remember what today is?"

I thought. "Wednesday?"

Galinda sighed. "You terrible green thing, you've forgotten!"

I gave her a slight scowl. "I'm sure that if I'd forgotten something worth remembering, I would have remembered it by now and wouldn't have forgotten it in the first place."

"You have forgotten!"

"I suppose we've established that. Now would you care to remind me of what it is I've forgotten?"

Galinda shook her head and was about to reply when the door to Crage Hall suddenly opened. We both turned our attention to the three figures entering, and I suddenly remembered what I had forgotten.

"Nessie!" I called out, running to my sister.

"Elphaba!"

We embraced tightly and I took a step back to look at her. "You look the same as always, Nessie."

"And you're still green."

"Had you expected anything different?" Nanny asked.

I looked up in some surprise at her voice. "Nanny? What are you doing here?"

"Well Nanny couldn't very well let her pet go off to school by herself, could she?" she replied.

Oh, Nanny, why must you always speak in third person? Elphaba doesn't like that!

"But I'm here," I said. "Father asked me to take care of her."

Nanny snorted. "You off in your classes and flitting about with boys!"

"I do not flit in any sense, and there are no boys in my life!" I protested.

"Elphaba please," Nessa said, taking my hand gently. I looked down at her and sighed.

"So you're Nessarose," Galinda said, coming to my side. I had almost forgotten about the blonde, but a slight, covert pinch to my arm quickly reminded me.

"O-oh! Nessa, Nanny, this is Galinda Upland, my… roommate," I said.

"Upland? Of Frottica?" Nanny asked.

"Yes. That's right," Galinda replied.

"Before old Nanny served the Thropp line, I'd spent some time up in the Uplands, and let me tell you, up there—"

Galinda looked at me as Nanny prattled on. The blonde looked somewhat confused and I shook my head slightly. This was just how Nanny was, and the Thropp family had grown used to her behavior.

"Miss Nessarose! I had heard you were arriving today!"

We turned to see Madame Morrible approaching, her robes billowing behind her. Her rapid pace told me that she had no intention of stopping, so I quickly grabbed Galinda and pulled her aside before we were both mowed over by our headmistress.

Madame Morrible grabbed Nessa's hand and shook it vigorously. "My dear, you are tragically beautiful, aren't you?"

My poor Nessarose was being rattled around in her chair as Morrible shook her hand. "Th-thank you."

"You poor dear, being sent here so suddenly without someone to watch out for you. It must be terribly stressful."

Nanny was already puffing up with protest, so I chose to intervene. I tapped Madame Morrible on the shoulder and she turned to look at me, letting out a small shriek.

"O-oh, Miss Elphaba. I didn't… see you there."

How could she not? GREEN. "Yes, remember me? I've been your student for over a year now. And my father—"

Madame Morrible's hand flew up to silence me. "We will discuss all this in my office," she announced before she moved behind Nessa's chair, almost shoving Nanny out of the way as she did so, and wheeled my sister down Crage Hall.

"Yes, just forget about old Nanny. Your mother did that too, she did, and when you were born whom did they call? No one knows a Thropp better than Nanny does," Nanny said before she started after Morrible.

Galinda looked at me. "Elphaba…"

"I told you: Nessa would be anyone's favorite," I said.

The blonde placed my book in my hands before she raised herself up to place a kiss on my cheek with a smile. "You'll always be my favorite."

* * *

"The whole arrangement is highly unusual."

I leaned forward to pick up Nessa's teacup and handed it to her. The brunette took a delicate sip and I smiled slightly as I brushed a few strands of hair back over her shoulder. Nessa looked at me and I looked down at my hands; I couldn't help being the overprotective older sister that I was.

"Unfortunately, we don't have unlimited rooms to accommodate such peculiarities," Madame Morrible continued. "And I cannot just move Miss Galinda out of her room, for she seems all settled in."

"I am. Very settled," Galinda said, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"So it would appear I have no other choice but to place Miss Nessarose in the chambers adjacent to mine."

I didn't like the sound of that. "Madame, if I may interject: Nessa has not only myself to look after her, but our Nanny as well. I believe they would be just fine in a normal room."

"Oh Miss Elphaba, as true as I'm sure that is, there simply aren't any rooms to place your sister and her… helper into."

Of course I wanted to voice my real opinion in this matter: that I didn't want my sister anywhere near this horrid woman, but I couldn't say that in good confidence that I wouldn't be expelled on the spot.

"Elphaba, I'll be fine. Really," Nessa said, taking my hand… my bandaged hand. A confused expression crossed her face and she looked up at me, but I shook my head quickly; I couldn't talk here, not in front of Morrible.

"Well, now that all that's been settled, shall we move you into your new room?" Morrible said, looking at Nessa.

"O-oh… yes," the brunette replied.

"And Miss Elphaba, Miss Galinda… shouldn't you two be off to class?" Morrible continued, looking at us.

I started to protest; I didn't want to leave my sister alone with this woman already! But Galinda grabbed my arm, digging her nails into my flesh to shut me up.

"Yes, we were just leaving actually. Come on, Elphaba," the blonde said, standing and pulling me up with her.

"I'll be back, Nessie!" I said before Galinda managed to drag me from the room.

* * *

"You just can't help yourself, can you?"

I looked at the blonde. "What is that comment supposed to mean?"

Galinda sighed and rolled her eyes. "You always have to voice your opinion, no matter who is around! Do you even think before you speak?"

"Of course I do. I pick each and every word carefully and with precision. I don't just say things willy-nilly, like some might."

"Why must you always insult me?"

"Did I say your name?"

"You didn't have to."

"You're so sensitive."

"And you're so… green!"

"Oh, you just noticed? I fear for you, my sweet." Galinda made to hit me, but I jumped out of the way. "Easy, blondie. If I show up to class injured, people will wonder what we've been doing."

"Wha—" Galinda's face suddenly turned red. "Elphaba!"

* * *

As it turned out, our new sorcery teacher was a rather frazzled woman named Miss Greyling. Sorcery seemed to be one of the few subjects that Galinda actually showed an interest in, though she seemed to have little natural ability, as harsh as that may sound to say.

"Sorcery and spells are merely recipes for change," Miss Greyling said, gesturing to a cooked chicken on her desk, which made me feel slightly nauseous, but I forced myself to look past the fact that it could have once been an Animal. She attempted to turn it into a piece of toast, but it instead came out as coffee grounds cupped in a lettuce leaf. Miss Greyling scratched her head in confusion while the class attempted to stifle their giggles.

I heard a rustle behind me and turned to see Madame Morrible lurking in the back of the room. She was making slight disapproving noises, and after a few more minutes, she made her way to the front of the room.

"Miss Greyling, I don't fancy myself an expert in this area, but perhaps you might permit my assistance in this situation?" she said.

Miss Greyling dropped her purse as she nodded and moved aside, looking still somewhat confused and mortified. The class giggled again, but I didn't partake in their merriment. Madame Morrible knew exactly what she was doing; she didn't need to embarrass our professor like that. I felt like voicing my opinion in the matter, but Galinda must have known what was going through my mind, because she placed a hand on my arm gently. It was just as well; I was already in enough trouble with our headmistress and class was dismissed a few minutes later.

Of course, I wasted no time in running back to Nessa's room, and when I arrived, I found that only one of her suitcases had been unpacked, and the brunette was currently engaged in an argument with Nanny.

"Ladies, ladies, please. You're both very pretty," I said, getting in between them. "Nanny, go take a break."

"Nanny doesn't take any breaks, oh no. Nanny stays where she is needed and—"

"And if you're needed, I'll come running. Now please."

Nanny gave me a scathing look before she left the room, muttering incoherent words under her breath.

"Elphaba, you really shouldn't have done that… she was only helping."

"Yes, and at her rate of 'help', you'd still be unpacking by Lurlinemas." I moved to begin unpacking Nessa's second suitcase.

"Elphaba… how have you been holding up?"

"I'm the same as always." I didn't look up at my sister as I continued to unpack her things.

"That isn't exactly what I meant."

"Then I'm afraid I didn't catch whatever subliminal message you were trying to send."

"Elphaba." A hand on my arm forced me to stop. I sighed and finally looked at my sister. Nessa was looking at me with the same dark eyes that I possessed, only hers carried a trace of warmth and compassion, whilst mine only held contempt. "Something about you is different; I can tell."

"As I said before, I am the same as I have always been."

"Why are you rooming with Miss Galinda again?"

That caught me off-guard. I hated the fact that Nessa could do that to me, and without even trying!

"As we said before, it was just easier, seeing as we both know how to… tolerate each other." It was a quick lie, one I hoped that Nessa wouldn't see through, but I wasn't that lucky, and Nessa wasn't that gullible.

"Did she do that to your hand? Is she threatening you with something?"

"No!" I shouted back, perhaps a little harsher than I had intended. Nessa looked taken aback and I sighed. "She hasn't done anything to me. We're… friends of sorts…"

"Friends of sorts? What is that supposed to mean, Elphaba?"

Oz, this was not a conversation I wanted to have, and with my sister of all people.

"Oh, you know… similar to friends, but not quite… we're very good acquaintances."

"Elphaba, you're terrible at lying to me."

"I'm not lying."

I could almost hear Nessa roll her eyes at that. "Please Elphaba. I've known you all my life, and I know when you're lying to me. If you and Miss Galinda are friends, then just say so. There isn't anything wrong with that."

I shrugged. "You know my position on the subject of friends."

"Of course I do, but everyone needs friends, Elphaba, even you."

"I've made it this far without friends."

"And what do you have to show for it?"

I paused. "Impeccable grades."

Nessa sighed in frustration. "I give up. You're just impossible, Elphaba."

I turned on my sister, feeling my temper reaching its boiling point, despite my efforts to hold it in. "What did you expect me to say, Nessie? That I let Galinda into my life suddenly? That I told her all my fears and dreams, my secrets and desires? That by suddenly becoming friends, it would change the fact that I'm green and different?"

Nessa was looking at me with slightly sad eyes, but the reality of the situation hit me as the words left my mouth. Though I may have begun to allow Galinda in, my harsh shell was still up. The blonde didn't really know anything about me… well, nothing truly revealing. And all the while, I had seen her at her most vulnerable moment. As I often found myself doing, I asked myself the same haunting question:

_Do I really love Galinda as more than a friend?_

It was a question I did not want to think about, but one that tore at me. As I had stated before, I hated uncertainty: I hated not knowing. And the longer I waited to find that answer, the more we were bound to hurt if this came to an end.

"Elphaba?"

Nessa's voice brought me from my musings and reminded me that I had been staring through her. "Sorry, Nessie… um… I should get back to unpacking. You're distracting me." I turned away from her and continued to unpack her trunk, lightly toying with the notion that she had significantly more clothing than me. Not that that was any surprise; Nessa was and would always be the favorite in our family.

* * *

"There you are! I've been all around Shiz looking for you!"

The sudden entrance of my roommate did not warrant a glance from my book, and Galinda did not seem to appreciate that. I soon felt her weight as she jumped onto my bed beside me.

"Elphaba, did you hear me?"

I nodded. I heard the blonde sigh and my book was suddenly pushed down, leaving me with nowhere to look but her sapphire eyes.

"Then why didn't you respond?"

"I was reading."

"Elphie, is something bothering you?"

I paused before I shook my head, perhaps a moment too late. "I'm fine."

"Fine always translates to something else when you say it."

"No it doesn't," I mumbled. "Now give me back my book. I was at a very interesting part."

"No," the blonde said, pulling it farther out of my reach.

I sighed. "What is it that you want, Galinda?"

"I want you to tell me what's on your mind."

"You know that would take far too long, seeing as I have multiple things on my mind simultaneously."

The blonde sighed in slight frustration. "Elphaba, who do you do that? I'm just asking a simple question."

"Yes, well, simple questions do not always have such simple answers, my sweet."

"Why do you only call me that when you're patronizing me?"

"I do not. It is a term of endearment."

"Sure it is."

I sighed, readjusting my glasses. "I'm sorry, Galinda. It's just… Dr. Dillamond is still absent, and now I have to worry about Morrible and whatever she thinks she's planning for Nessa. I'm not saying that's an excuse for me to ignore you, but—"

"Elphaba." A delicate finger was suddenly on my lips, stopping me. Galinda smiled slightly before she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "It's all right. I understand."

I didn't really know what to say at that point, so I just said, "I'm sorry." And I was… for more than the reasons Galinda believed.

* * *

"Not that I have any objection, but how can a university get away with teaching sorcery when its original character was so strictly unionist?"

This was the topic of our conversation as we sat under a pearlfruit tree by Suicide Canal, and by we, I mean Galinda, Nessa (and inevitably Nanny), and myself.

"Well, there isn't anything inherently religious or nonreligious about sorcery, is there? There isn't anything pleasure faithist in it either," Galinda said thoughtfully.

"Spells, apparitions, enchantments? It's all theatre; it's entertainment," I said.

"I suppose, though bad theatre in the hands of Miss Greyling," Galinda said with a slight giggle. "But the gist of it isn't concerned with application. It's a practical skill, like—like reading and writing. It's not that you can, it's _what_ you read or write. Or, if you'll excuse the play on words, _what _you spell."

"Father disapproved mightily," Nessa said, her faith never shaking. "He always said that magic was the sleight of hand of the devil. Sorcery is used to distract the masses from the true object of their devotion."

"That's just a unionist talking," Galinda said, not sounding offended thankfully. "And that's a sensible opinion, if you're up against charlatans or street performers. But sorcery doesn't _have _to be like that. I've heard the common witches up in the Glikkus magic the cows they import so they don't go mooing off a cliff. I mean, it would cost so much to put a fence on every ledge, wouldn't it? So sorcery doesn't have to supplant religion."

"It may not have to, but if it tends to, then don't we have a duty to be wary of it?"

"Wary, oh I am wary of the water I drink; after all, it might be poisoned, but that doesn't stop me from drinking water."

"Well, _I_ don't think it's so big an issue," I said, finally managing to voice my opinion. "I think sorcery is trivial. It's concerned with itself mostly, and it doesn't lead outward."

I looked at Galinda and saw that she was staring intently at something on the ground near me. Before I could figure out what it was, my leftover sandwich exploded in a small combustion of shredded carrots, mayonnaise, and olives. Nessa doubled over in her chair laughing, and I was covered in bits of food. It was not ideal, considering the fact that I had not yet finished that sandwich, but I chose not to comment as I picked the bits of food from my clothing and ate them, causing Galinda and Nessa to both make faces that showed amusement and disgust.

"It's all effects, Galinda," I said. "There's nothing ontologically interesting about magic. Not that I believe in unionism either," I protested quickly. "I'm an atheist and aspiritualist."

"You say that to shock and scandalize," Nessa said, giving me a harsh look. She turned her attention to the blonde. "Don't listen to her, Galinda. She always does this, usually to make Father irate."

"Father's not around," I reminded her.

"Well, I stand in for him, and I am offended. It's all very well to turn your nose up at unionism when you've been _given _a nose by the Unnamed God. Funny, isn't it? Childish, really."

Oh dear. Now I had made her spitting angry. "Father's not around," I said in a gentler tone, which in a way, served as my apology. "You needn't rush to public defense of his obsessions." I hated when Nessa did this; making me feel bad because she was so Ozdamn righteous.

"What you term his obsessions are my articles of faith," Nessa said with chilly clarity.

"Well, you're not a bad sorceress for a beginner," I said, turning away from my sister and looking at Galinda. "You've made a pretty good mess of my sandwich."

"Thank you. I didn't mean to pelt you with it, but I am getting better, aren't I? And out in public too."

"A shocking display," Nessa added. "This is what Father was talking about; the allure is on all the surface."

"I agree, it still tastes like olives," I said, finding a whole olive in my sleeve and holding it out to my sister. "Taste, Nessie?"

But the brunette had turned her head away, losing herself in a silent prayer. I looked at Galinda with a sigh and a shrug before I popped the olive into my own mouth.

* * *

"Galinda, I'm leaving."

"Elphieeee…"

I sighed, knowing that tone. "Don't do this. You know I have to."

Galinda emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her petite body, which caused my face to grow hot. She approached me, wrapping her arms around me in a way that conveyed her desire for me to stay. "Elphaba… don't go tonight."

I was about to protest- after all, I wanted desperately to see Dr. Dillamond again- but then I noticed that her tone had changed from playful to pleading.

"Why?"

"I… I have a bad feeling."

"You don't feel well?"

Galinda shook her head. "No, I mean… I have a feeling something bad… might happen." Her sapphire eyes looked right up into mine. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but please… please don't go."

I raised an eyebrow; this was a little odd. "Galinda, my sweet," I said, taking her hand in both of mine. "Don't worry. I'll be fine, just like I always am." I leaned in and kissed her, feeling her other hand stray to rest on the side of my face. We broke apart and I offered her a smile. "I'll be back before you know it."

I made it to Dr. Dillamond's office rather quickly, taking a shortcut across the perfectly manicured lawn in the campus courtyard. As I knocked on the door, I attempted to shake the off the grass that clung to my boots. "Dr. Dillamond?" I called, noticing that my attempts had been in vain. I leaned down to brush some grass from the toe when I noticed light pouring from under the door… and it was open a crack. I straightened back up. "Dr. Dillamond?" I called again, pushing on the door lightly.

It opened with an ominous creak. I pulled my jacket closer around as I stepped in, admonishing myself for feeling that twinge of fear. As I had told Galinda, nothing was going to happen. I came here all the time!

_But Dr. Dillamond wasn't missing before._

I pushed that thought from my mind as I stepped farther in, my footsteps echoing in a chilling way off the walls. Could it be that there had been some truth in Galinda's feeling? No… that was silly… right?

"Dr. Dillamond?" I called for a third time, a little more urgency in my voice. I waited for him to emerge, and when he didn't, I turned away to set my bag down.

I felt a hand on the back of my head and suddenly, the table was coming up fast. A flash of pain and I was on the floor, spots dancing in front of my eyes. My glasses flew from my face and skittered across the floor, leaving my vision blurry. I heard a foot come down and shatter them, and then a red line of blood ran in front of my eyes… and I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

When I was four years old, I had a nasty habit of repeating the word "horrors" over and over, similar to the way a child repeats the word "no". With Nessa being as young and delicate as she was, my father did not appreciate my screeching of the word in a way that woke her from her naps, so one afternoon, my mother took me out in a rare show of sobriety. It wasn't often that we spent time alone together, seeing as she despised me in a way only a mother could.

Anyway, I remember that our walk led us into the woods. Wildlife was always something that could grasp my attention and quiet me, but as we emerged into a clearing, we found the corpse of some poor beast. Bleeding from a gunshot wound to the neck, his blood stained his fiery fur, matting it. While my mother was repulsed, I was intrigued with faint horror. The tiger's eyes looked the black marbles my peers played and bartered with.

It was tragic that such a beautiful creature had been killed so thoughtlessly, and for what? Sport? Entertainment? What warranted such a act of cruelty? How could one life mean so much more than another?

"Come away, Elphaba. It's dead," my mother said, grabbing my hand in a way that was more demanding and impatient than protective.

"Horrors."

* * *

"Elphaba?"

I opened my eyes weakly and found Galinda's concerned face over mine.

"What…" I closed my eyes as my head started to throb dully.

"You were muttering in your sleep."

"Nnn… where are we?"

"Outside the class building."

"What happened?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I was so worried when you didn't come back last night."

I realized that the sun was indeed rising over Shiz. I sat up with a slight groan, and Galinda put an arm around my shoulders as support.

"Wait… why are you here?"

"Well, like I said, you didn't come back last night, and Ama Clutch said she could see a light in Dr. Dillamond's office, so she left to get you, and she… she…" I saw the tears welling in her eyes. "Oh, Elphie!" She threw herself against me, burying her face in my shirt as she sobbed.

"What? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Galinda sniffled loudly as she ran her nose messily along my shirt. Very nice. "This morning… she didn't bring in the tea… and you know she always brings in the tea! So I went to Madame Morrible and told her that I didn't know where Ama Clutch was, and she told me that Ama Clutch had an episode and was recovering in the infirmary."

"Did you see her?"

Galinda shook her head. "Morrible wouldn't let me. Elphaba, I—"

At that moment, Boq and Avaric approached us. "What's wrong? We heard something happened to Dr. Dillamond?" Boq asked, his concerned look only reserved for Galinda, I'm sure.

"They found out," I said, finally realizing what had happened. "Somehow those bastards found out."

Just as I finished my sentence, two doctors emerged carrying a stretcher with a covered body. Though another Ama darted forward to tuck a stray corner of the blanket down, I saw the twisted shoulders and thrown-back head of Dr. Dillamond, his throat still knotted with congealed ropes of black blood.

It was then that I knew things at Shiz were about to change, for with that brief glimpse of the Goat's face, I could see that whatever had given him his enlivening character had disappeared.


	15. Entry 15

As I watched the two men take Dr. Dillamond's body away, an idea suddenly struck me. I grasped Galinda's hand and leaned in close so my lips were near her ear.

"Lead me to Dr. Dillamond's office," I hissed, my poor vision not allowing me to get there myself.

"Why?"

"Galinda, please."

The blonde sighed, but grasped my hand tighter as she started to pull me through the crowd of students, all cramming to catch a glimpse of what had been the Goat. With all the commotion outside, it was rather easy to get to Dr. Dillamond's office unnoticed.

"We're here," Galinda said after a few minutes.

"All right. Wait out here and be my lookout while I'm inside," I said, opening the door.

"Elphie—"

"The less you know, the better." I looked at her blurry figure. "Please… just trust me." I slipped inside the office, leaving her behind.

Once inside, I began to rummage through all the Goat's supplies. Surely he had to have kept his research findings somewhere, and that information was too valuable to be forgotten or worse, destroyed. However, it soon became apparent that Dr. Dillamond didn't want anyone to ever find his research. I rubbed my tired eyes, wishing I had my glasses. Where could all that work be?

"Elphie!" I heard Galinda suddenly hiss my name. "Hurry up! I hear someone coming!"

Shit. I was out of time. My eyes suddenly fell on a few papers that seemed to have fallen through the bottom of a drawer. Wait… what? I approached quickly and yanked on the handle, pulling the drawer out. It didn't look any different than a normal drawer… and then I saw it. A fake bottom.

"Elphaba!" Galinda hissed again, more urgency in her voice.

"Two seconds!" I slipped my finger into a gap in the bottom corner, trying to lift it up, but it didn't budge. I pulled again, harder this time. Still no luck.

"_Elphaba_!" She was near hysterics now. I had to get this out NOW. I slammed my fist into the fake bottom, and the wood splintered around my hand. Wooden shards embedded themselves in my flesh, but I paid hardly any attention as I snatched the leather-bound book from the drawer and quickly stuffed it down my frock. I leapt to my feet and sprinted for the door, tripping over a stool in the process. I tumbled to the ground, rolled once, and burst through the door, landing in a heap at Galinda's feet.

"What are you two doing here?"

I looked up to see one of the men who had taken Dr. Dillamond's body away looking at me. I quickly stood. "I was… looking for my glasses."

He blinked once. "I see… well, don't go back in there. We need to examine the area, you know."

"Of course," Galinda said, gripping my hand and leading me away. "You got lucky!" she hissed once we were out of earshot.

I flashed her a grin. "Luck," I said, pulling the book from my frock, "is for those without skill."

* * *

With that done, Galinda and I made our way to the infirmary and pushed our way in before any of the medical staff could stop us. It wasn't hard to find Ama Clutch and as we approached, I noted that her face was stark white and looked like the last pancake of a batch; something just wasn't right.

"Ama Clutch, what has happened to you?" Galinda cried, running to her bedside.

Though her eyes were open, the older woman didn't reply.

"Ama Clutch, it's us. Galinda and Elphaba," I said, coming to stand beside the blonde.

Ama Clutch still held her silence and Galinda looked at me, tears in her eyes. "Elphie… what happened to her?"

I shook my head. "I don't know." I put and arm around her shoulders. "Come on. We can't do anything for her now." I gently led her from the bed. Of course, I knew she was distraught; I was too. Though Ama Clutch sometimes annoyed me, I had grown to love her. We had lost Dr. Dillamond, and I didn't want another death.

"Oh well then, I know you didn't mean to stab my foot last year."

Galinda and I turned to see Ama Clutch holding a long, rusty nail in her hands, crooning to it as if it were, well… one of us.

"Ama Clutch?" Galinda said hesitantly, but the older woman seemed not to hear.

"You were only trying to get my attention. That's what misbehavior is all about; just asking for a little extra loving. Well, don't you worry Nail; I'll give you all the love you need. After a little nap, I'll tell you about the train station in Frottica, which had a _Closed for the Season_ sign hanging once."

Galinda looked at me, and I knew we were thinking the same thing: what in Oz's name had happened in that office?

* * *

The morning lectures were cancelled for obvious reasons, which while making me somewhat depressed, it at least gave me time to replace my glasses… again.

"You're lucky you weren't hurt, Elphie," Galinda said.

"You mean any injury worse than the gash on my head," I said, slipping a new pair onto my face. Too blurry. I took them off.

"Dr. Dillamond was… and you could have been…"

"I could have shuffled off the mortal coil as well," I said grimly, slipping a different pair onto my face. Pretty clear, but I wasn't feeling the bright pink frames.

"Elphaba, this isn't a joke."

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped at the blonde.

"Well, then, why are you trying to make it into one?"

"I am not. I am merely stating facts," I said, slipping a third pair on. There it was: wire-framed circular lenses, and I could see perfectly.

Galinda seemed to be in thought as I paid for the glasses, but as we were leaving, she spoke up saying, "I can't imagine losing you, Elphie…"

I looked at her. "Don't worry, my sweet. I don't plan on going anywhere without you."

"Miss Elphaba!"

I looked up at the sound of my name and was almost bowled over by the headmistress. She enveloped me in robes and the scent of mothballs as she hugged me tightly, causing me to stiffen. Oz, didn't people realize that I was averse to this type of physical contact, and without warning to boot!

"Oh, you poor dear. I heard that you were in Dr. Dillamond's office last night when the tragic accident happened!"

"Accident?" That had been no accident! Anyone who had seen his corpse knew that this was no accident!

"Yes, of course. You must have fainted from the sight of his body and hit your head on the way down."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Galinda gripped my hand with such ferocity that all that came out was a cross between a whimper and a wince. "I suppose," I managed through clenched teeth.

"Well, I'm relieved you're safe, and I trust we'll see you at Dr. Dillamond's memorial later on?"

"Of course."

Madame Morrible swept away to admonish some other students, and I turned on Galinda. "What was that for? You nearly broke my hand!"

"You know you're not supposed to argue with her! You were already lucky once by getting out of her awful detention because Nessa distracted her, but you can't go digging yourself into a hole again."

"Dr. Dillamond's death was NOT an accident, and you know it!"

"Of course I know it! Anyone in their right mind knows it, but we have to pretend not to."

"So we don't create a 'disturbance'. Nice." I turned away angrily, starting to stalk off. "One of the most prominent professors here is murdered and we have to just turn and look the other way so everyone can continue to live their sheltered, blissful lives! By tomorrow, he'll be little more than a faded memory, and his work gone. He might as well have died in vain."

"Elphaba!" Galinda grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face her. "You know that isn't true! Dr. Dillamond will NOT be forgotten, and his work wasn't in vain! You knew him; you loved him, and that means something."

"I'm one green person in an oppressive society. What do I mean?"

Galinda's eyes shone with tears she couldn't, or refused, to shed. "Everything."

* * *

I had never seen Galinda wear black before, and most likely because it was not the most flattering color on her. Oh, not because it made her look bad; she was just too bright a person to wear such a simple, dark color.

We stood side by side at the Goat's memorial service, listening to assorted faculty members speak of his traits and merits. I glanced over at Galinda and saw that tears were running down her face, though she kept fighting to keep them back. I took her hand in my own and gave it a squeeze. Galinda looked up at me, squeezing my hand back.

It was all we could do to comfort each other.

I looked over to my other side, where Nessa was sitting, her lips moving silently over a prayer. Her eyes were dry, but she had never known the Goat personally, and Nessa hardly cried. One of the few traits we had in common.

After the service, there was some light mingling, but no one really knew what to say. What could be said? One of our professors had been murdered, and we all knew it! Still, we had to pretend otherwise and continue with our ignorant lives.

"This really is a tragedy," Fiyero said, his voice actually sounding sincere. The prince had managed to slip onto our conversation by tagging along with Boq. While I didn't approve, Galinda seemed too upset to protest.

"That's an understatement," I said bitterly. "Dr. Dillamond had one of the most brilliant minds I've ever seen."

"We can all agree to that," Boq said.

"I regret not having the opportunity to get to know him personally," Nessa sighed.

"Glinda."

We all looked at the blonde. "What?" I asked.

"That's what he used to call me. Remember, he could never get my name right?"

We nodded. "You used to hate that," I said.

"Well… I'm changing my name."

A pause. "Come again?" Fiyero said.

"I'm no longer to be called 'Galinda', but merely 'Glinda"."

Another pause.

"That's… very admirable of you… Glinda," Boq said.

I supposed it was a sort of belated apology to the Goat, but I had a feeling that Galinda, err… Glinda would be changing much more than her name.

"Miss Elphaba."

I turned at the voice and saw Master Garrett approaching us.

"Oh, good evening everyone," he said, acknowledging the group. "You wouldn't mind if I borrowed Miss Elphaba for a moment, would you?"

I followed Master Garrett a little ways off. "Look, Master Garrett, I—"

"Please. I don't have much to say, and I know you're not the type to accept pity kindness."

I closed my mouth. Okay…

"I know you were close to Dr. Dillamond; I won't pretend to have known him better than you. So… I'm sorry." He took me into his arms in an embrace that was just the right amount of pressure to be comforting. I inhaled softly at the contact, my eyes widening slightly, but for once, my body didn't tense up.

It was the first time I had ever allowed such physical contact from a stranger.

* * *

Glinda and I soon left to visit Ama Clutch again. Beside myself, she was probably the only one who knew what had happened last night. All I knew was that my head had been smashed into a table, and I was not the target.

I had hoped that bringing a bunch of Pertha grapes would encourage her to speak, but she devoured the grapes before she proceeded to converse with the leaves. It was a troubling sight indeed.

"I can't do this anymore." Glinda turned and ran from the room. I knew it had to be hitting her hard, having known Ama Clutch all her life. I took another look at the blathering woman before I went after the blonde.

I found her on her bed, curled up with her pillow, fresh tears running down her face. "Hey… I know this isn't easy…"

"You don't know, Elphie… you don't know what I did."

I moved to sit beside her, stroking her hair. "What did you do?"

She shook her head. "I-I can't! It's too… awful!"

"It can't be that bad."

Glinda sat up angrily, and I was surprised by the look in her eyes. "It's my fault Ama Clutch is like that!"

"Wha—how could it possibly be your fault?"

"When we first arrived at Shiz last year- after Ama Clutch stepped on that nail- I lied to Madame Morrible about her condition so I could stay out of the common dormitories! I made up some fake ailment and now… now she actually has it!" Glinda burst into sobs at that declaration and hugged her pillow tightly, turning away from me.

So that's why she felt guilty… "Glinda… you can't possibly think that you somehow…"

"Well how else do you explain it, Elphaba?"

"Coincidence?"

She gave a choked laugh. "You don't believe in coincidences."

Well, she knew that about me. I rubbed the back of my head uncertainly. "I… I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but we both know it won't come out right."

Glinda turned to look at me with her tear-stained face. She sat up, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. How unladylike. "Elphaba… do you love me?"

I looked into her sapphire eyes as my brain tried to process that very question I had tried so hard to avoid. But as I looked at Glinda sitting there, vulnerable and small, I knew the answer.

"Yes. Of course."

Glinda nodded before she gently pushed me back against the headboard. I was about to say something when she straddled my lap, and all words went out the window.

"Um…" I started, my face growing hot.

Glinda wrapped her arms around my neck before she leaned against me, her head coming to rest just below my chin. "This is what you can do for me, Elphaba… just be here… and love me."

* * *

Dr. Dillamond's replacement in the life sciences was an older man named Doctor Nikidik, and I found him to be far less brilliant that the Goat. When he spoke, he started off at a normal conversation volume, but his voice would soon trail off until all that could heard was mumbling. This particular trait threatened to drive me insane.

"What do you make of this Dr. Nikidik?" Boq asked me during our life science break after about, oh, a few days.

"Hard to listen to, but only because I want to hear Dr. Dillamond and I can't believe he's gone," I replied, the grim realization on my face.

"What's really been getting me is that you told me all about his breakthroughs. Have you gone through his office yet? Surely there must be something worth saving. You took all his notes; couldn't they be the basis for some proposal, or at least further study?"

I gave him a look. "Don't you think I'm way ahead of you?" I said defensively. "Of course I went tramping through there the day his body was found, before the door could be laced with padlocks and binding spells. Do you take me for a fool, Boq?"

"I don't take you for a fool at all, so tell me what you found."

I shook my head. "His findings are well hidden away, and though there are colossal holes in my training, I am studying it on my own."

"You're not going to show me?" He sounded shocked.

"It was never your particular interest. Besides, until there's something to prove, what's the point? I don't think Dr. Dillamond was there yet."

"Elphaba, I'm a Munchkinlander too, and you've more or less convinced me of what the Wizard's up to. The confining of Animals… forced labor… it's vile, but this affects the Wend Hardings and the towns that sent me here. I have a right to know what you know, and we can work better together."

I see. So he was trying to pull the "we're from the same homeland" card on me. "You have too much to lose," I said, which was a nice way of saying "I don't much care about what happens to Munchkinland". "I'm taking this on myself."

"Take what on?"

I shook my head again. "The less you know, the better, and I mean for your sake. Whoever killed Dr. Dillamond doesn't want his findings made public. What kind of friend would I be to you if I put you at risk too?"

"And what kind of friend would I be to you if I didn't insist?" he retorted, but I had decided that this conversation was over as we returned to class. He continually passed me notes for the rest of the time, but I ignored them, choosing to instead flick them at the back of Fiyero's head.

* * *

"What is the difference between science and sorcery, really?"

I looked up from my bowl, taken by surprise at the question. My mouth refused to make words, so what came out instead was something like "uhhhmmm."

Glinda giggled and Nessa rolled her eyes. "Really, Elphaba, it's like all your manners have just flown out the window."

I scowled at her. "Oh Nessie, you know I love you too."

My sister still didn't look happy, and Glinda reached over to pull a stray noodle from my chin. "I'm being serious though."

"Of course. Well, what brought about this question anyway?" I asked, wiping my face with a napkin.

The blonde shook her head. "I'm not really sure… but I did ask Miss Greyling."

"And what did she say?" My curiosity was piqued now.

"Something about how science dissects nature to see how it works, while sorcery moves in the opposite direction. It's… synthesis, not analysis."

"Only the Unnamed God _creates_," Nessa interjected, and I knew Glinda had trigged her religious bone again. "If Miss Greyling confuses sorcery with creation, than she is in grave danger of corrupting your morals."

"Well, my morals aren't in the greatest shape to begin with," Glinda said, and I saw a thoughtful, while somewhat guilty look enter her eyes. She was thinking of Ama Clutch, no doubt.

"Then if sorcery is to be helpful at all, it must be in reconstructing your character," Nessa said, her voice firm.

"Nessa!" I said, slightly offended. She was in no position to tell Glinda to change!

"It's all right, Elphie," Glinda said gently. She looked back at my sister.

"If you apply yourself in that direction, I suspect it will be all right in the end. _Use _your talent at sorcery; don't be used by it."

Glinda nodded, while I shook my head in slight disgust. "Glinda, I think it was a good question. I wish Miss Greyling had answered it."

"Well, she did… in her own way, I suppose."

"Still, if I were you, I'd want a more thorough answer. Suppose we ask Dr. Nikidik?"

"Who would ever have the courage to do that?" the blonde cried. "Miss Greyling is just ridiculous, but Dr. Nikidik… well, he's just so… distinguished!"

* * *

Another week passed, and it was up to me to sneak in to see Ama Clutch once or twice a day, as Glinda refused to see, or speak of her condition. As the week closed, Madame Morrible called us in to voice her concerns that we still had no chaperone. She suggested the common dorms for us, and Glinda, who refused to see our headmistress alone anymore, accepted the demotion.

I, on the other hand, was not about to accept such a blow to Glinda's dignity.

"If I may make a suggestion?"

And that was how Nessa and Nanny ended up moving into the room adjacent to ours.

* * *

"I can't believe Morrible actually allowed that," I said that night as I shut the door behind me. Nessa had just fallen asleep, and she was a rather light sleeper so we had to be careful. I went into my closet and changed into my nightdress while saying, "I thought for sure by the way she was looking at me she was going to say no."

It was then that I realized Glinda had made no response. I emerged from my closet and found her sitting on her bed, her eyes clouded over as she ran her finger over the threading of her comforter. Uh, oh. I didn't like that look.

"Glinda?" I asked as I approached. I placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to look into her eyes and catch her attention. "Are you all right?"

"Elphaba… what if Ama Clutch doesn't…" She didn't finish.

"She'll be fine. Look, Glinda, this wasn't your fault."

The blonde looked at me, tears in her eyes. "Now."

I furrowed my brow slightly. "Pardon?"

Glinda reached over and extinguished the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. "Now. I'm ready."

Now I had a slight idea of what she was referring to. "Glinda… um…"

She took my hands gently and led them up to the ties of her nightdress. She kissed me gently. "I love you… and I'm ready, Elphie."

With my hands shaking slightly, I began to undo the front of her nightdress, pushing the fabric off her shoulders. I didn't know if I should be doing this; Glinda and I had only been together for… a few months now. Was she really ready? Was I even ready?

I shivered suddenly and found that Glinda had made quick work of my nightdress, letting it fall to pool at my feet. The blonde's lips met mine again in a more passionate kiss as her hands ran over my chest. I shuddered and Glinda wriggled out of her clothing before she pushed me onto my back gently, straddling my hips. Her hands didn't leave my chest as she continued to kiss me, and I found that the more our lips met, the more intoxicating it became. I soon didn't want to break this contact.

"Elphie… touch me."

I raised my hands hesitantly, almost afraid that if I touched her flawless, pale skin with my verdant hands, I would contaminate it somehow. My hands finally came to rest on her breasts and she let out a low moan.

"I'm sorry," I said, starting to pull away, but Galinda caught my wrists.

"Don't stop…"

I hesitantly placed my hands back where they had been. "These… are not proportionate to your body."

I heard the blonde emit a slight laugh. "I could say the same thing about you… but I like yours." She gave my breasts a slight squeeze and I inhaled softly. "They fit into my hands." The blonde kissed me again. "And are you saying you don't like mine?"

"N-no! I… I like yours just fine… I just meant—"

Another kiss from the blonde silenced me. "Elphie… stop talking."

I smiled sheepishly into our next kiss as I ran my hands down her back, coming to grasp her hips and daring to pull her closer. Glinda let out another moan as our bodies pressed together, deepening our kiss. I felt her tongue slide across my lips and I instinctively parted them, allowing her access. It was an odd feeling to have her tongue exploring my mouth, but I was so caught up in this moment.

And then her lips had moved to my breast, and I inhaled sharply at the slight burn from her saliva. Still, I pulled her closer, my hands running across her smooth skin.

"Elphie… your skin is amazing," she breathed. I writhed underneath her, closing my eyes as I felt her pull my underwear down my legs. My own hands seemed to move on their own, pulling that same piece of fabric down her legs until we were both lying in her bed, completely vulnerable. This wasn't happening… was this really happening? Was I really about to have sex with my best friend who only just recently become my girlfriend?

I felt her kisses move down further, but I caught her face in my hands and pulled her back up to resume kissing, still not sure if we were quite ready to… well… the blonde was going through a lot, and I didn't want to be the cause of more regret.

Soon enough, her hand was sliding down my stomach, and mine was wandering down hers hesitantly, feeling her stomach muscles quiver with anticipation. My heart was starting to race and I used my free hand to pull Glinda deeper into the kiss.

And then my hand was right above her center, and I could feel her hand over mine. We broke apart as we looked into each other's eyes, both searching the other's face.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I whispered. She could still say no… we could still stop.

Glinda kissed me again. "Same," she breathed before she took my ear into her mouth.

It was in that moment that I decided yes; this is what I wanted. I hoped Glinda felt the same as I slid one finger inside, surprising myself as I felt her damp walls.

The blonde let out a long moan before she pushed her own finger inside of me. I let out more of a slightly painful grunt. Yes, it hurt a little, but I pushed that from my mind as I began to move inside her, unsure if I was doing "it" right.

"Are you okay?" I managed to ask.

Glinda just nodded. "Just… don't stop…"

We continued to move together; pink bubbles dancing on a green field.

* * *

Once the heat between us had passed and our heart rates were returning to normal, Glinda laid her head on my chest, one arm draped across my stomach.

"Elphaba… I love you…" she mumbled as she closed her eyes.

I looked down at her and it suddenly became clear; there was no doubt left in my mind.

"I love you too."


	16. Entry 16

When I awoke the next morning, I was slightly surprised to find my blonde roommate naked in my arms, looking rather comfortable with her head on my chest, a slight smile on her face. Everything soon came back to me and I realized that last night had not been a dream. We really had… done it. My gaze fell on the bloodstains on the sheets, and it hit me that I was no longer a virgin. This was _real_. It wasn't one of my novels; there was no turning back the pages.

I felt the blonde stir and I looked down at her. Glinda's eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at me sleepily. "Hi Elphie…"

"Glinda… did we really… um…"

The blonde closed her eyes and she snuggled against me again. "I believe so, Miss Thropp."

Oh. Oh, this was serious. Before, we had done nothing worse than kissing. Now… now we were committed… and I'm sure Glinda's reputation would be shot if anyone found out she had slept with a woman, and a green woman at that.

"Glinda… are you sure this is what you want?" I asked, stroking her arm gently.

"You asked me that last night."

"And you didn't answer. All you said was 'same'."

Glinda opened her eyes to look at me again. "I assumed you felt the same way. If you hadn't wanted it, you would have stopped it."

I didn't have a reply to that, so I began to sit up.

"Elphieeee... no," the blonde whined, pushing me back down.

"Glinda—"

"You're too comfy… and warm… I don't want you to leave."

"But I need to go to the bathroom to… um… make sure I'm… all right."

Glinda gave me a funny look, but when she saw the blood on the sheets, she sighed. "I suppose… if you must."

I got out of the bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I discovered that I hurt a little… down there, and there was still some slight bleeding. I wiped my hands with a towel before I headed back to the room, sitting on the bed.

"You're walking funny," Glinda said, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

"I'm sure you can figure out why."

Glinda giggled. "I suppose that means I did a good job?"

I shrugged. "Well, it's not like I have anything to compare you to."

The blonde scowled slightly before she turned my head gently so she could kiss me. "That's not the right answer, Elphie."

"I'm just telling the truth."

Glinda rolled her eyes. "Sometimes you're hopeless."

"I apologize."

Glinda pulled me back onto the bed and quickly straddled my hips. "Elphaba… you don't… regret what happened… do you?"

I sighed. "It isn't that I regret it… I just don't want you to get hurt."

Glinda smiled slightly before she leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my lips. "You could never hurt me."

"Well, not intentionally."

Glinda made a face. "Elphaba Thropp, you listen to me: I love you, and I know for a fact that you could never hurt me. You saved me… and I will always be grateful for that. So please don't think any less of yourself."

I looked up at her before I reached a hand up, running my thumb over a delicate cheekbone. "Glinda… I love you too… which is why I never want to see you hurt again."

The blonde smiled. "I've never felt safer than I do with you." She leaned down and our lips met again. I felt her hands run through my hair and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer into the kiss.

"Why Miss Elphaba, I do believe I want you all over again," Glinda said with a grin.

"In what sense?" I asked, slightly confused.

Glinda pulled me up for a rough kiss, and two fingers were suddenly inside me. I let out a gasp as I jumped.

"You really have no experience with sexual innuendos, do you?" Galinda breathed into my ear.

"Nnn… not really."

There was a sudden knock on the door from the adjacent room and Glinda had just managed to get off me before the door opened.

"Aren't you two up yet? Sun's rising in the sky and Nessa's finishing her breakfast and—" Nanny's eyebrows raised, "well it seems you two certainly were busy."

"Nanny!" I said angrily, my face growing hot as I struggled to hide myself with the sheets.

"Oh, what? Like I haven't seen this exact thing with your mother."

"You're supposed to wait for a reply before you go barging into other rooms!"

"Well, people don't care much less they done something wrong, and by the looks of things, I think I can tell what happened here." She looked us up and down again. "I must say, you two are quite the… interesting pair."

Glinda let out a little giggle, wrapping her arms around one of mine. "I suppose we are."

"Nanny, get out!" I said, getting out of the bed and starting to shoo the older woman away.

"Yes, you are definitely your mother's daughter."

"OUT." I pushed her back into the adjacent room before slamming the door shut, my hands fumbling with the lock. "You old bat… my mother's daughter…"

"Oh, Elphie, she didn't mean any harm," Glinda said as I turned to face her. "And what's so wrong with being compared to your mother?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong: my mother was a stubborn, impatient, unfaithful drunk. I'm willing to bet good money that her husband isn't the biological father of a single of her three children."

"Was?"

I paused, and then sighed, moving to sit beside her. "I… you know I don't really like to talk about myself."

"I know, Elphie, but please… we're together now, and you have to trust that you can tell me anything."

I sighed again. "When I was eight, Shell was born… and my mother never woke up."

"She passed away in childbirth?"

I nodded, looking down at my hands.

* * *

Our father emerged from the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Nessa and I looked up at him expectantly, my sister clutching my hand tightly. He turned to us, his expression hardened.

"Is Mama awake yet?" Nessa asked.

"Your mother… she isn't going to wake up. I'm sorry, girls," he said, rubbing Nessa's head affectionately before he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Your mother loved you both very much."

"Can't we say goodbye?" my sister asked tearfully, her grip tightening on my hand.

"Not now, my flower."

My father wheeled her away, but I stayed, staring at the closed door. Before anyone could stop me, I pushed it open and entered the dark room.

My mother was lying on her bed, the sheets still stained with blood. I approached the bedside and looked down at her. She almost appeared to be sleeping, but I could tell that something… something that had made her herself was gone. I touched her hand lightly, finding it cold.

A hand on my shoulder and I turned to look up at my father. "Fabala… I know it's hard to accept."

I didn't reply; I just looked back at my mother. "There's no point in being sad. She's not here anymore."

My father turned me to face him and embraced me tightly. It was the last time he ever showed me such affection.

* * *

"Elphaba?"

I looked up and saw Glinda looking at me.

"S-sorry. I was… thinking."

"So your mother passed away giving birth to Shell?"

"Yes… and after that, it became up to me to take care of my siblings, and my father at times. Without my mother, he just seemed… lost."

"It sounds as though he really loved her."

"He did, but my mother just… well… it wasn't that she didn't love him as well, but just that… they had two very different lifestyles. My grandfather; that is, my mother's father, is the current Eminent Thropp, so as you can imagine, my mother grew up in a very… how do I put this?"

"She grew up like me: spoiled."

"Well, I mean, think about it: she was raised in a place where everyone knew who she was. She was respected and admired and basically on a set path to success. And then she meets my father, this… religious middle class man who has chosen poverty as his way of life, and despite her better judgment, she marries him and in a moment, she is dragged from her life of high society to his. Throw in the fact that he was traveling most of the time and really… one can't blame her for having so many affairs."

"Aww… Elphie…"

I raised an eyebrow as I looked at the blonde. "Aww what?"

"You're sticking up for her."

My face grew hot and I crossed my arms. "I mean… she was my mother… it wasn't as though I hated her or anything… I just don't want to be like her."

Glinda moved to sit in my lap, putting her arms loosely around my neck. "Trust me: you're far too unique to be anybody else."

* * *

When Glinda and I parted ways for morning classes, I found that I missed her more than usual. Oh, it was more than just the sex fact; once the realization that I did, in fact, love her hit me, it hit hard. I wanted to be near her, to protect her from the cruelty of the outside world that we had both endured until now. To be away from her after such a moment of vulnerability and passion… it was hard.

"Elphaba, you seem different today."

I looked over and saw Boq sliding into the seat next to me.

"In what way?" I asked, my mind immediately going to the fact that I was still slightly bleeding.

_Oh, Oz, he knows! Everyone knows! They all know Glinda and I slept together!_

"I'm not sure," he replied with a slight smile. "But you seem to be recovering from Dr. Dillamond's… passing."

"Ah, yes… well…" I knew it was ridiculous to think that everyone knew, but I was so nervous. Oh, how I wished I were with Glinda so I could see how she was managing to hold up!

"You know what I don't understand? Why someone as good-looking as Fiyero wears that skin paint. He only draws attention to himself, and I wouldn't want to have skin the color of shit," Avaric said, suddenly appearing in the seat next to me. Apparently, he wasn't too hungover to show up to class today, much to my disappointment. I had grown fond of his absences.

"What a thing to say. If you ask me, that's a shitty opinion," I snapped back.

"I forgot, Elphie, skin is your issue too."

"Don't call me that!" I didn't mention that only Glinda was allowed to use that pet name on me. "And leave me out of this. We just had breakfast, and you give me dyspepsia, Avaric. You and the eggs we had for breakfast."

"Good morning _mumble mumble_."

I turned my attention to the front of the room, glad to have a distraction from Avaric. What I saw troubled me far more instead.

Another student was wheeling in a cart and on it, crouched in a way to make itself as small as possible, was a lion cub. Its head twisted this way and that, as if surveying the threats, and it let out a small yawp, a miniature version of an adult roar. I could tell by the "awwws" coming from the room that it had indeed melted hearts.

"Hardly more than a kitten," Dr. Nikidik said. "I had thought to call it Prr, but it shivers far too much, so I can it Brr instead."

The lion cub looked at Dr. Nikidik and moved itself to the far end of the trolley. I could tell that it was more than out of its element, and I felt for the poor thing.

"Now the subject of this morning: picking up from the skewed works of Dr. Dillamond, who can tell me if this is an Animal or an animal?"

I didn't wait to be called on as I stood up right away, my voice carrying strong from the balcony. "Dr. Nikidik, the question you asked was who can tell if it's an Animal or animal. It seems to me the answer is that its mother can. Where is its mother?"

The room buzzed in slight excitement. "Caught in the swamp of syntactical semantics, I see," Dr. Nikidik said, somewhat louder, as if he had never realized there was a balcony in the room before. "Let me rephrase: who can venture a hypothesis as to the nature of this specimen?"

"I repeat my question," I sang out again, refusing to be ignored this time. "This is a very young cub. Where is its mother? Why is it taken from its mother at such an early age? How can it even feed?"

"Those are impertinent questions to the academic issue at hand," the doctor replied.

Why was I always being called impertinent?

"Still, the youthful heart bleeds easily. The mother, shall we say, died in a sadly timed explosion."

I sat down, nonplused. "It doesn't seem right," I said to Boq and Avaric. "Dragging a cub in here without its mother for the purpose of science. Look how terrified it is. It is shivering, and it can't be cold."

I heard other students giving suggestions, but they were shot down one by one. Apparently, the lion cub was neither Animal nor animal in this early stage.

"This has political implications," I called, standing again. "I thought this was life science, not current events."

Boq and Avaric grabbed my arms, trying to pull me back into my seat to shush me, perhaps because I was earning a reputation as a terrible loudmouth.

"Now do you think that if we could cauterize the part of the brain that develops language, we could eliminate the notion of pain and thus its existence?" Dr. Nikidik pulled out a rubber-headed hammer and syringe. The lion cub hissed at him and fell off the table, streaking towards the door that had been closed and locked earlier.

What was he doing? This was unacceptable! I leapt to my feet again, but I wasn't the only one shouting in protest this time.

"Pain? Eliminate pain? Look at the thing, it's terrified! It already gets pain! Don't do that; what are you, crazy?"

"Enough! I will not preside over such shocking refusal to learn!" Dr. Nikidik said, affronted. "You are leaping to hare-brained conclusions, based on sentiment and no observation!"

I couldn't take this anymore. Before Boq or Avaric could stop me, I threw myself over the balcony edge, crashing into a desk at the bottom. Several girls screamed, but I ignored the gasps and stares as I stumbled to my feet and raced down to the stage, leaping up and throwing myself between Dr. Nikidik and the lion cub.

"Miss, bring that beast back here. I shall be quite cross," Dr. Nikidik said.

I gave him a harsh scowl before I scooped the lion cub into my arms. "This is wrong!"

"Miss, you listen to me—"

"No, you listen! We claim to be a superior race, yet we treat these Animals with such monstrous cruelty! We are forcing them to extinction!" I turned to face my classmates. "We all lie to ourselves that Dr. Dillamond's death was an accident when we know he was murdered!"

"That's enough!" Dr. Nikidik said, taking a step towards me, but I focused my energy on the trolley, sending it blasting across the stage towards him and causing another uproar from the class. I turned and bolted through the door before the doctor could recover, the lion cub clawing at me as I held him tightly in my arms.

* * *

I ran until I reached the edge of the woods on the outskirts of Shiz, and that's where I finally slowed to a stop, panting slightly. The lion cub had calmed down somewhat, but was still trembling. I looked down at it.

"Easy. I'm not going to hurt you," I said gently, moving to stroke the top of its head, but it caught two of my fingers in its tiny fangs. "AH! Hey!"

"Elphaba?"

I turned towards the voice, expecting someone from my class, but I instead saw Fiyero approaching me, ducking under a low hanging tree branch.

"Oh, it's you," I said, too rattled to sound bitter. "What can I help you with?"

"I was actually looking for Glinda, but when I saw you run by, I thought… well, I mean, you're always together…"

"You thought I was running off to be with her?"

Fiyero shrugged. "The thought crossed my mind, but it seems you have other plans." His gaze was on the cub in my arms.

I looked down as well. "Ah, yes… this… well, it's a long story."

"I'm sure you acted valiantly, as you are inclined to doing."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I spat, glaring back up at him.

"That you like to save people… or animals… Animals…"

"Hey, if it weren't for me, Glinda would be dead, and you know whose fault that would have been? YOURS, you self-centered jackass!"

Fiyero looked like he had more to say, but he instead stopped with a sigh. "You're right, and I feel so guilty for that. That's why I've been trying to find her, so I can apologize."

That took me aback. He wanted to… apologize? "W-well… good! As well you should… jerk!"

Fiyero smiled slightly. "Just had to throw that in, didn't you?"

I made a face, unable to come up with a decent reply.

"So what are you doing Elphaba?"

"It is my own business and if I wanted you to know, I would have informed you from the start."

"Fair enough."

A pause. I assumed he didn't have anything else to say to me, so I turned away from him and started walking. I couldn't just dump this poor creature anywhere; I had to find somewhere safe. I heard footsteps behind me and I stopped with a sigh. "Why are you following me?"

"Well, if you won't tell me what you're doing, then I'll just find out for myself."

I felt a vein in my forehead pulse, but I had to remain calm… he wasn't worth the aggravation. "Suit yourself," I said as I continued on.

* * *

Eventually, we found a small tangle of bushes and vines and I released the cub, watching it dart away. I wasn't certain if it would be all right… it was so young after all, but that was out of my hands now. All that was left to do was return to Shiz.

"Elphaba, you're trembling," Fiyero said as we trekked back.

"No I'm not," I lied. In truth, I was still shaken up by the whole thing. I had thrown myself off a balcony and shouted at my professor before running off with a lion cub.

"Well, I don't mean this in an insulting way, but you've almost gone white."

"Don't concern yourself with me. You should be more concerned for yourself, and what you're going to say to Glinda when you see her."

"What else can I say besides 'I'm sorry'?"

"That's your problem, not mine."

"Elphaba!"

I looked up to see that we had reached the campus and Glinda was running across the grass towards me. The blonde threw herself at me in a tight embrace and I stumbled slightly.

"Boq told me you ran out of Dr. Nikidik's class!"

"Well, he wasn't lying," I said.

The blonde straightened up and her gaze fell on Fiyero. "O-oh, Fiyero…" She looked from him to me, and I saw what was going through her mind.

"I assure you, he came after me in hopes of finding you," I said quickly. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea.

"Oh?" Glinda looked at the prince again. "Did you have something to say to me?"

Fiyero looked at me, but I put my hands up in defense. "Tell her."

The prince took a deep breath, his hands wringing nervously. "Glinda… I wanted to tell you… that I am exceedingly sorry for what happened over the summer. I never meant for anyone to get hurt, especially not you."

Glinda nodded, gripping my hand tightly with both of hers. "Yes, well… I'm sorry too."

Fiyero and I both looked at her in confusion. "You're… sorry?" Fiyero said.

Glinda nodded again. "I'm sorry I allowed myself to be so taken in with you. I'm sorry that I thought you were worth dying for because you know something? You're not. You may be charming and attractive on the outside, but you don't really care about anyone, and I know this because if you did, you would have respected both your wife and me by staying away."

Ouch. Glinda was really letting him have it. I was surprised at the blonde's tone, which sounded so much different than the vulnerable girl she had been over the summer.

"And do you want to know something else? After you, I thought I could never find love again. I thought I would never find someone who could see past the broken girl on the outside and see the woman inside. But I was wrong because that person was beside me all along… it just took me a while to see her." Glinda looked at me, and my face darkened. "I love you, Elphaba Thropp."

I couldn't reply. What was there to say? Glinda had just poured her heart out, not only to me, but to Fiyero as well. I looked at the prince to see how he was faring. Yes, he looked just as shocked as I felt.

"Well, I… I'm glad that you… found someone. You deserve… to be happy," Fiyero said.

Glinda moved forward to embrace the prince gently, causing me to bristle slightly. What was she doing? "Thank you though… for your apology," she said, moving away and giving him a smile. "And I don't hate you."

Fiyero smiled as well. "Thanks."

Well, I did not like where this was headed. "Yes, we're all friends now," I said. "How wonderful."

Glinda looked at me. "Oh, Elphie, don't be that way," she said, sliding her arm around one of mine. "Tell me what happened in class. Why did you run out?"

We started walking back across the grass and I turned back to look at Fiyero one last time before turning my attention back to the blonde. "Well, Dr. Nikidik brought in a lion cub and I suppose things got out of hand…"

* * *

Later that night, after dinner, I was jack-knifed in the corner of my bed, my nose buried in a life science book. Nowhere could I find anything that discussed the makeup of the brain and young Animals and animals. I found no correlation between this language development and pain. What had Dr. Nikidik been hoping to accomplish with—

A sudden weight on the bed and I was a few inches in the air before coming back down. I looked up, one eyebrow raised. "Hello, Glinda."

The blonde was grinning at me. "Guess what?" she practically sang.

"Oh, I'm sure I couldn't possibly guess what's inside that blonde brain of yours," I said, looking back down at my book.

"Nanny took Nessa to her study hall."

"And?"

Glinda shoved my book down. "AND that means we don't have to be quiet."

I looked at her, somewhat confused, but when she removed my glasses and kissed me, I got the picture. "Ah. I think I see where you're headed with this."

"Good, because you know I'm terrible with details," the blonde said, pushing me down gently as she crawled over me. My book fell to the side unnoticed as she ran her hands through my raven hair, kissing me again. I was just beginning to undo the ties on the front of her dress when there was a loud knocking on the door.

"Ignore it," Glinda said breathlessly, taking my mouth in a kiss again.

The knocking continued incessantly and I sat up, pushing to blonde off gently. "I'll only be a second," I said, getting up despite her pouting. I went to the door and opened it, only to find Grommetik standing there. I felt that familiar wave of hatred come over me as I looked at him. "What?"

He didn't reply, but gestured for me to follow. I sighed. Morrible obviously wanted me for something, and I had a slight idea of what it was.

"Elphieeee…" Glinda whined, coming up behind me and tugging on my arm.

"I have to go see Morrible," I said. I took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

* * *

"Miss Elphaba. Sit."

I sat, looking at my headmistress. Dr. Nikidik was standing beside her, still looking as angry as though class had just ended.

"Now, it has been brought to my attention that you caused some sort of disturbance during Dr. Nikidik's class?"

"A disturbance? It was a personal affront on my teachings and myself!" the doctor said hotly.

"Doctor, please," Morrible said. She turned back to me. "Miss Elphaba?"

"Madame, Doctor, if you please: I meant no disrespect by my actions. I merely disagreed with Dr. Nikidik's approach to the lesson. I mean, honestly: can it be considered moral to bring such a young cub into this environment without its mother?"

"Its mother is dead!"

"All right, but then why insist on performing some half-assed 'experiment' to eliminate pain?"

"It was all in the interest of learning!"

"So may I drive a needle in you with a hammer in the interest of learning, Doctor?"

Dr. Nikidik looked ready to explode at that. "Do you see now what I mean? This student has no respect for the foundations or education at Shiz! I demand she be expelled immediately!"

"Dr. Nikidik, Miss Elphaba has a right to voice her opinion, though she would do well to do so in a more respectable manner," Morrible said, giving me a look. "Though I do not believe that expelling her is the best course of action."

"I demand some sort of punishment! She disrupted my lesson and ran off with my test subject!"

"See! You admit it! That poor cub isn't anything more than an experiment to you! You don't care if it's an Animal or animal!" I said, jumping to my feet.

"Miss Elphaba, sit down," Morrible said. I did, gripping the chair arms so hard that I felt the wood begin to bend. "Now, I agree that what Miss Elphaba did was out of line, and I assure you that she will not go unpunished, but I will not drive her from Shiz."

Dr. Nikidik gave me a harsh look before he stalked from the room. I looked at Morrible, who sighed.

"Miss Elphaba, why is it always you?"

I shrugged. "I cannot help it, Madame. My green skin dictates my rash nature."

"Yes, I'm sure… well, as I said, I cannot completely condone your actions in Dr. Nikidik's class. Therefore, I am removing you from his class and you will receive a failing grade."

"What?" A failing grade? I had never failed anything before! That was almost worse than being expelled!

"You will have the chance to repeat the class next semester. That is my final decision."

I stood up angrily, knowing I should be grateful I hadn't been expelled, but I was still upset. I turned and left her office, hoping that the walk back to Crage Hall would help to clear my mind.

* * *

"What did Morrible want?"

I tossed my jacket aside angrily. "I've been removed from Dr. Nikidik's class and given a failing grade."

"Oh… Elphie, I'm sorry."

I sat on my bed with a huff. "A failing grade! I've never failed anything before in my life! This is humiliating! And all because I was the only one who would do the right thing!"

Glinda came to sit beside me and wrapped her arms around one of mine, her head coming to rest on my shoulder. "You were right, Elphaba… and that cub is safe because of you."

I looked down at her and sighed. "I just… I know that life isn't fair… but sometimes I'd just like a little credit… you know?"

Glinda nodded before she kissed me softly. "I know…" She smiled before moving into my lap. "Hey, I can think of something you'll never fail at," she said before she kissed me again, pushing me down slowly.

"Oh, I hope not," I said with a smile.

The blonde extinguished the lamp and pink and green moved as one again.


	17. Entry 17

Now that I no longer had Dr. Nikidik's class in the morning, I found myself with somewhat unwanted free time. After I walked Galinda to her class, I went out to the campus courtyard and settled myself on a bench, opening the leather bound notebook I had found in Dr. Dillamond's office. I had read this so many times, trying to decipher the shorthands and scribblings, but it seemed that everytime I decoded a little, it only opened the door for more questions. I owed it to Dr. Dillamond to continue his research… but dear Oz, did it have to be so complicated? I liked a challenge as much as the next person, but still! There was a limit!

"Miss Elphaba?"

I dropped the book in my hurried attempt to hide it within my cloak. It feel to the grass, scattering lose papers everywhere and I quickly fell to my knees in a hurry to pick them up.

I saw a pair of pants kneel down in front of me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

I looked up to see Master Garrett picking up the loose papers as well. "I wasn't startled as so much… wary," I said as I took the papers from him before he could get a good look at them.

"Is this…" he trailed off, obviously learning something from our last encounter.

"Yes," I said shortly, getting to my feet. As I stashed the papers back into the notebook, another though struck me. "Wait, why aren't you in class? Did Dr. Nikidik cancel today's lecture?"

Master Garrett rubbed the back of his head. "N-no… not exactly."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me what did happen… 'exactly'?"

"Well… Dr. Nikidik wasn't exactly… pleased with your actions last time and he… started to talk about you… and the incident."

"That figures, but I still don't see how you fit into—"

"I stood up for you."

I paused. "Pardon?"

"I told him that he was wrong for singling you out just because you were the only one brave enough to do what was right… and then I walked out."

"You… you walked out?"

Master Garrett blushed slightly. "Well… he kicked me out… but I was going to walk out anyway!"

I didn't really know how to respond; what could I say? "Master Garrett, I—"

"Please… you can drop the honorific."

"All right… Garrett, you really didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did. Elphaba, what you did… it was an inspiration. Our classmates need to learn that it's okay to speak their minds or follow what they believe, instead of always being afraid."

"I didn't do it for everyone," I replied. "I did it for that poor lion cub."

"Well, of course. That was obvious."

A pause.

"So… what? You're done with Dr. Nikidik's class for good?" I asked.

"As long as he continues to teach the way he does, yes."

Another pause.

"Well, I… I really should be going," I said, making to pass by him.

"Wait," Garrett said, grabbing my shoulder. I turned back to him, not exactly appreciating being grabbed. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person, but you and I… we both… I know you've been continuing… on your own, and…"

"What in Oz's name are you trying to say?" I interrupted, starting to lose my patience.

"I want to help you."

That was a surprise. "You… want to help… me?"

Garrett nodded. "Elphaba, I am just as avid in the Animal's plight as you. I want to do what I can to help."

I rubbed the back of my head uncertainly. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate Garrett's extension of help; it was just that I was wary of trusting him. "Well, I… I mean, I'm… I'm not good at working with other people."

"It's all right… I'll respect your privacy." Garrett gave me a smile before he turned and started to leave.

Ozdamn, now I felt like the bad person here! Garrett only wanted to help… and Dr. Dillamond had trusted him. I found myself calling out, "A fortnight in the vegetable garden," before fleeing. I did not pause to see his reaction.

* * *

"Nnn… Elphieee…"

And I had thought Glinda was loud before, but the petite blonde could moan like nobody's business. Well… it was nobody's business but our own.

"Hold still, or this will hurt more than it has too," I said, my voice somewhat muffled as my mouth was full— oh, are you under the impression we're having sex at this moment?

Glinda made a face as a slid another pin into her hair. "Ow, Elphie!"

That's right. Now get your mind out of the gutter. I was doing nothing more than fixing my girlfriend's hair.

The blonde made a face. "Maybe you should be more gentle."

I chuckled softly before I leaned down, resting my chin on her shoulder. "That's not the tune you sing in bed."

Her face turned a nice shade of pink. "Elphaba!" She gave me a playful smack on the side of the head. "The things you say."

"The things I say are all true, or else I would not say them."

"I hardly believe that."

I straightened up and shrugged. "Believe what you will," I said, sliding another pin into her hair.

"I will and I believe that you do lie to others… but as long as you don't lie to me, I have no complAINTS!" Her voice rose an octave as I pushed another pin in, accidentally hitting her scalp. "Ow, Elphie!"

"I'm sorry, my sweet, but look, you're all finished."

Glinda turned her head side to side, examining my work in the mirror. "It's passable, I suppose," she said, but she was grinning.

"Well, I only live to serve you," I said, beginning to clean up the mess we'd made.

"Elphie, leave it so we can go," the blonde said, tugging on my sleeve.

"You know I very well can't leave knowing there's a mess in the room."

"But it's our very first date!"

"I know, my sweet, I do. Please just humor me, unless you want me fidgeting the whole time."

"Oh, you're just impossible!"

I grinned and was about to reply when there was a sudden knock on the door and we looked up.

"Oh that must be Crope and Tibbett again," Glinda said with a giggle.

"Those two are going to get caught with their ridiculous spying attempts," I said, rather frustrated with the two. Lately, they'd been taking to try and catch us engaged in "romantic actions". I went to the door and yanked it open. "Listen, you two. If you think you're going to catch us, then you've a whole other thing com—" I stopped short when I realized that it was Morrible's clockwork henchman instead. "Oh. What do you want?"

He motioned for me to follow him, something I was growing rather tired of.

"Sorry, I haven't the patience or the time to deal with you tonight," I replied, beginning to close the door, but a sudden wrinkled hand shot out and stopped it.

"Shutting the door when the Madame calls is not the smartest idea."

"Nanny! Why are you in our room? Must you always invite yourself over?" I growled. I was growing tired of her just barging in, especially when she was not wanted nor needed.

"Nanny knows when she's needed. Besides, he came looking for Nessarose too, so Nanny had to put on a fresh apron. Now come, it looks like you both are summoned."

Nanny ushered me from the room and I twisted around to look back at Glinda, whose smile had been replaced with a crushed look. "Nanny, please, I have plans—"

"Elphie, it's all right. We can postpone our date," Glinda called to me, though I detected the sadness in her voice. "I'll be here when you get back."

Damn Morrible for always ruining my evenings! It was like she knew, and was set on a mission to eradicate any source of joy in the lives of her students.

"I hate that Grommetik thing," Nessa said to me as we followed it to Morrible's quarters. "However does it work anyway? Is it clockwork or magicked, or both?"

"I always imagined there was a bit of nonsense as well; a family of elves working each limb, for instance," I replied. In any case, whenever Grommetik comes around, my hand gets a strange hunger for a hammer."

"I can't imagine a hand having hunger," Nessa said.

"Hush, you two, the thing has ears," Nanny said, looking at me in an admonishing way, as though I shouldn't be encouraging my baby sister that hatred was acceptable.

When we arrived, we found Morrible glancing over financial papers, which I could tell even though they were upside-down. All the figures gave it away. She made a note in the margin before looking up at us. "Ah, good evening girls. Please sit. I apologize for calling on you so late, but I've had a letter from your dear father, as well as a package for you. I thought it kindest to deliver the news myself."

"News?" Nessa said, her face immediately blanching.

I took her hand in my own, feeling her grip it tightly. "He could have written to us as well as you," I said, wondering what our father had to say about his "pilgrimage to save the sinners".

Morrible ignored me as she said, "He writes to ask of Nessarose's health and progress, as well as to tell you both that he has begun to undertake a fast and penance for the return of Ozma Tippetarius."

While I put a hand to my face in embarrassment, Nanny chimed in, saying, "Oh, the blessed little girl!" This was one of her favorite subjects, and she was warming right up to it. "When the Wizard took over the Palace all those years ago, he had all of the Ozma Regime jailed, and—"

"Please," Morrible said to us, casting a glare at Nanny. "I did not ask you here so your Nanny could slander the Wizard's glorious name. It was a peaceful transition of power. As to the power of your father to raise the missing royal child… well you've as much admitted to me that he is erratic, if not mad."

Nessa gave me a glare for that one.

"I can only wish him health in his endeavors, though I cannot approve of seditious acts here at Shiz. I hope you girls have not imported your father's yearnings into the dormitories here," Morrible finished.

"We assign ourselves to the Unnamed God, not to the Wizard, or any remnant of the Royal Family," Nessa said, her chest puffing out with pride.

"I have no feeling in the matter at all, except that Father loves lost causes," I grumbled.

"Very well, as it should be. Now I have a package for you as well," she said, handing it to me.

I raised an eyebrow. A package for me? From our father? He'd rarely sent me letters, let alone a package.

"It is for Nessarose, I believe," Morrible added.

Ah. Of course. Whyever would it be for me? I handed the package off to my sister, who began to undo the cord, and opened the wooden box. From a pile of wood shavings, she withdrew one slipper, and then another. Were they silver? Now red… now blue… it was hard to tell, and it didn't matter; the effect was dazzling. Even our headmistress gasped at their splendor. The surface of the slippers seemed to pulse with hundreds of reflections and refractions as they caught the firelight.

"He writes that he bought them from a toothless tinker woman outside Ovvels, and he dressed them up with glass beads that he made himself—that someone had taught him to made—"

"Turtle Heart," Nessa said darkly.

"And that he had hoped they'd be a present before you left for the university, but in with Ama Clutch's unexpected sickness, blah blah… he was unprepared. So now he sends them to his Nessarose to keep her beautiful feet dry and warm, along with his love."

I took the box from my sister and drove my fingers through the shavings. There was nothing else, nothing for me. Not that I had expected anything in the first place.

"Oh, Elphaba, aren't they beautiful!" Nessa exclaimed. "Fix them on my feet, would you please? Oh, how they sparkle!"

I took the shoes from her and went down on my knees before my sister. Though she denied connection with them, Nessa sat as regal as any Ozma, her spine erect and face glowing. I lifted her feet and removed the common house slippers, replacing them with the dazzling shoes.

"Oh, Father is so thoughtful!"

"Good thing you can stand on your own two feet," Nanny whispered to me, placing a hand patronizingly between my shoulder blades, but I shrugged her off.

"They're gorgeous," I managed to say thickly. "They're made for you, Nessie. They fit you like a dream." Well, I had to say something. I couldn't let Nessa see my jealously, even if it was small…

"Oh, Elphaba, don't be cross. Don't ruin my small happiness with resentment. He knows you don't need this kind of thing."

"Of course not. Of course I don't."

* * *

"It's not fair! I'm the eldest; I do everything for her, for Shell, for my entire family! When my mother died, I stepped in, and I never asked for anything, nor did I ever complain! Do I not deserve even a small trinket?"

Glinda put a hand on my arm gently, stopping my angry pacing "Elphaba… you're right, it isn't fair…"

I looked down at the blonde. "There's a but attached to that sentence; I can just feel it."

My girlfriend sighed. "But… your sister is… crippled. Perhaps these shoes will help… distract from that, if even only a little?"

I sat down beside the blonde, running a hand through my hair. "I suppose I hadn't thought of that… I just… I don't even know anymore, Glin. I feel awful; I shouldn't be jealous of my own sister, she's done nothing to me."

"Oh, Elphie, it's only natural," Glinda said, putting her arms around me.

"I'm sorry that I had to cancel our date," I said, looking down at my hands before I turned to look up at her. "If I had known that—" I was interrupted as Glinda caught my lips in a deep kiss. I immediately lost my train of thought as I cupped the side of her face.

"It's all right, Elphie. Another time…"

I tried saying something in reply, but my voice failed me as I kissed her back.

"By the way… what kind of shoes were they?"

"Wha—" I pulled back and looked at her. "Really? That's all you can think of?"

The blonde grinned sheepishly. "Well, they must be awfully impressive for you to get worked up over."

I made a face at her before I lay back on the bed with a sigh. "I don't even know why I care so much. Perhaps it's just the fact that I was left out… again."

"Perhaps, but the shoes Elphie. What are the shoes like?"

I looked at her, an eyebrow raised. "I don't know; they're shoes."

"What kind?"

"The kind you put on your feet."

"Elphaba! That's not what I meant!"

"What more can I say? They're silver slippers, at least I think they are. Our father adorned them with blown glass beads, and they catch so many colors in the light. Who knows, they could really be red or blue or…" I sighed. "I don't know what it is, Glin, but they… they just… appeal to me. They're dazzling; no one in our family ever had anything that nice, not after our father made us move to Quadling Country."

"It sounds as though these shoes remind you of your mother."

I paused. It hadn't occurred to me that the reason I felt so strongly about this was because… I sat up. "But I… my mother and I… we were never…"

"Maybe… this is your connection to her. I mean, you said it yourself: your mother was raised in an environment of high society. These shoes remind you of that, and perhaps if you had them, you'd maybe feel… closer to your mother?"

I stared at her. How… how did she… I stared at her for so long that Glinda eventually leaned back a little.

"Um… Elphie? Are you… okay? Did I break you?" She poked my cheek.

"Why didn't you ever use your brain like that before?" I said.

The blonde shrugged. "I… I don't know… I never really thought about things before I met you, I suppose… don't you remember that night last year when we had that discussion about evil?"

"Yes… I remember… we were about to deem your shoe rack evil, if I recall correctly," I said with a slight smile.

"If it had hit me, which it didn't, thanks to you." A pause. "Elphaba… why haven't you been continuing your sorcery career?"

I began to untie my boots as an excuse to look away from her. "I'd hardly call it a career. My 'power', if I have any, is unlike yours; I can't harness it whenever I want. It's sporadic and unpredictable… and I have no interest in telling anyone about it."

"But Elphaba—"

"Glinda, I do not want to follow the path of sorcery." I sat up to look into her sapphire eyes. "I have chosen life sciences, and in doing so, I must suppress this… power inside. It's what I want…"

The blonde sighed and looked down. "All right, Elphie."

I placed a hand on the side of her face gently. "Does it really mean so much to you?"

"It's just… you have a gift, Elphie, and it comes to you so easily, unlike with me. I don't want to see it wasted."

"Glinda… don't worry about me. I'll be fine… I promise."

"You always say that… yet you always manage to get into trouble," Glinda said, smiling as she poked my nose. "I can't let you out of my sight for five minutes."

"Like a child running with scissors," I said, grinning slightly.

Glinda nodded before she kissed the top of my head. "My child…"

* * *

The next night, we risked breaking curfew and raining Morrible's wrath down upon us, but we snuck into town so we could order bottles of wine. Nanny, who had insisted on coming (of course) tutted at us in disapproval, but she was downing her fair share of the wine, so it wasn't hard for us to overrule her.

A soft rain was falling outside, one of the first of the year, and even though we were dry inside, I drew my cloak around me tighter. Glinda, Nessa, and I still had to walk home in this, and I could only hope it wouldn't get worse. I had basically gotten over being overlooked by my father, and Nessa and I began telling funny stories about him, to reassure our friends that nothing was amiss between us. I did not resent my sister, and even though she was wearing those beautiful shoes tonight, I would not allow any jealousy to enter my heart.

Even though Nessa wasn't much of a drinker, she was laughing, probably more from the fact that was actually out instead of being holed up in a room. "Despite my appearance, or maybe because of it, he always called me his 'beautiful pet'. He'd say, 'Come here, my pet, and let me give you a piece of fruit'. And I'd wheel slowly over to him, when Mother, or Nanny, or Elphaba wasn't around to push me, and I'd collapse into his lap and smile up at him, and he'd drop small pieces of fruit into my mouth."

The other laughed, and Glinda looked up from her sketchbook at me. "What did he call you, Elphie? Surely you had a pet name too."

"Fabala," Nessa replied with a smile.

"At home, and at home _only_," I growled. Oh, how I despised that pet name! And how dare Nessa bring it up!

"True, you are your father's little Fabala," Nanny crooned, swaying slightly in her intoxication. "Little Fabala, little Elphaba, little Elphie."

Glinda giggled at that while I glared at Nanny. "That's enough of that. Besides, he never called _me_ pet." I raised my glass to my sister. "But we all know he told the truth, as Nessarose is the pet in the family. Hence those splendid shoes."

Nessa blushed at my toast. "Ah, but while I had his attention because of my condition, you captured his heart when you sang."

I felt my heart drop at that. Damn, Nessa, why must you always bring up things I'd like to forget and keep from others? Still, I had to ward her off and try to save myself.

"Captured his heart? Ha! You mean I performed a necessary function," I said, but it was too late.

"Oh, you sing? Well then, sing for us! Another glass, push back the chair, and sing! Go on!" the others said.

I didn't like this attention, and I didn't intend in standing up in front of a room full of strangers just to indulge in my friend's requests… not alone, anyway.

"Only if the others will," I said, a somewhat bossy air about me. "Boq? Some Munchkinlander spinniel? Avaric, a Gillikinese ballad? Nanny, a lullaby?" No one replied, and I turned on my girlfriend. "Glinda, surely you know a tune."

She looked down quickly.

"Glinda!"

"We know a dirty round, we'll go next if you go," Crope and Tibbett finally said, saving me.

"And I'll sing a Vinkus hunting chant," Fiyero added. The others laughed at that and Avaric clapped him on the back.

I sighed. This meant I had to sing now. I finished my glass before I stood, clearing my throat and sounding a note into my cupped hands. It had been a while since I'd performed, and I had no song ready. So, I imagined I was back at home, and standing before my father, singing for him again, even after all this time.

"_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby."_

The bar mother slapped her rag at some noisy older men, shushing them, and the men playing darts paused, their hands falling to their sides. The room became eerily quiet, and I almost stopped; I didn't like being stared at. But then I looked at Glinda, who was smiling at me with such adoration that I continued, my gaze never leaving the blonde.

"_Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star and wind up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, oh way above the chimney tops; that's where you'll find me. Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why oh why can't I_?"

As I finished, the room remained silent, and I could feel my face growing hot. "You next, you promised!" I cried, pointing at Fiyero, but they all refused to sing. I saw Nessa wipe a tear from her eye.

"Elphaba says she's not religious, but see how feelingly she sings of the afterlife," my sister said, and for once, no one argued with her.

Feeling betrayed, and a little put off, I pulled the hood of my cloak up and left the building, ignoring my friends calling for me. I didn't really have an intention of walking back to Crage Hall alone; I just needed to be out of that stuffy, intoxicated room.

Outside, the rain fell gently, almost in a light mist. I leaned against the brick wall, crossing my arms and looking down. My father only noticed me when he needed something, and as Nessa had so graciously pointed out earlier, my voice was needed often. To sing hymns and praise to the Unnamed God… I can still remember the faces of the assembled as they were held entranced by the voice of a ten-year-old, whose skin was green as any sin. What a contradiction I was.

"Elphaba?"

I looked up to see Glinda looking at me.

"What are you doing out here without your coat? You're going to catch a cold," I said, beginning to undo my cloak.

"Elphie, I'm fine, don't. It's still raining."

"It's only misting."

"It's still water. Elphaba, please don't."

I stopped and sighed. She was stubborn… just like me.

"Why did you just walk out?"

"Because everyone broke their promises! They all said they'd sing, and they left me hanging."

"Only because everyone knew they'd never be able to match up to you. Elphie, your voice is beautiful. How come you never told me you could sing?"

"It was never brought up," I replied with a shrug.

"Please come back inside."

"We're going to leave soon anyway, seeing as we're already on Morrible's radar. I just need to clear my head."

The blonde looked down before she lifted my arm and put it around her shoulders, pulling herself close to me in a hug. "You're unlike anyone I've ever met, Elphaba Thropp… and I love you."

* * *

As I had promised, after a fortnight had passed, I found myself making my way into the vegetable garden, having a nice little verbal spar with the cooks on my way through the kitchens. When I reached my destination, I found the blonde sitting on a bench, waiting for me.

He stood upon seeing me. "Good evening, Elphaba."

"I have to admit, Garrett, I wasn't sure if you would show up, what with Morrible's close watch and all," I said.

"I am no stranger to sneaking, despite the impression I give off," he said with a slight smile.

"Oh? I'm sure the ladies must love you then."

Garrett turned slightly red and scratched the back of his head, looking away. Oz, it had been a year, but still… the feeling that I knew Garrett from somewhere… it never faltered… Oz, where had we met before?

The look on his face told me I was staring again. Oz, I really need to stop doing that. "So, what kind of help did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Oh, I mean… whatever I can do for you. Is there something you'd… like me to do?"

I paused in thought. "You live in Briscoe… so you have access to the Three Queens library."

"Yes… is there something in there you need?"

"I don't know… I had Boq, Crope, and Tibbett helping me over the summer, but we never had a chance to continue after I—" I was reminded that Glinda's attempt on her life had been what had distracted me from Dr. Dillamond's research. I shook that from my head. "Anyway, if you could, anything and everything that might pertain to his research would be helpful."

Garrett nodded. "Yes… I think I know the place to look. All right, I'll do it, but when can we meet again?"

"I don't know. Even this is risky."

"I heard they cleaned out Dr. Dillamond's office. No one's using it now; we could meet there. It's common ground, and no one has a need to use it."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "It's an idea…"

"I'll meet you there next week, during Dr. Nikidik's class period."

Before I could say anything else, Garrett nodded a goodbye to me before he disappeared over the garden wall. I watched him go before I turned and went back inside, continuing my verbal sparring with the cooks.

Why was I out so late in the garden? Because I liked having midnight talks with the vegetables. The moonlight made them dance. Well, wasn't I just a riot?

I disappeared upstairs, and into the room, turning to lock the door behind me.

"Elphaba Thropp, where have you been?"

I froze at the voice and turned back to see my girlfriend standing with her hands on her hips, anger washing over her features (still beautiful, of course).

"Um…"

"You missed our date again!"

Now I knew why she was so upset. Tonight was when we had rescheduled our date for… and now she was all dressed up with nowhere to go.

* * *

_I missed yet another date. How can we still be "dating" if we haven't even gone on our first date? I must perform well in bed, or else I don't think I'd have anything else that kept us connected. Hopefully, I don't screw this next one up… that is, if I can somehow manage to calm Hurricane Glinda._

**Song used: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Kristin Chenoweth**


	18. Entry 18

"Where were you?"

I shrank back against the wall, intimidated by someone a foot shorter than me. "I… I had to meet someone… in the vegetable garden."

The blonde paused and her expression grew angrier. "You did WHAT?"

Oh that had been the wrong thing to say!

"Elphaba Thropp, are you cheating on me?" As soon as the words were out, Glinda covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh sweet Lurline… are you seeing someone else? Is this your way of… dumping me?" Her eyes filled with tears and she turned away from me, shoulders shaking.

"No!" I ran over to her, moving so that we were facing each other. "Glinda, I would never… it wasn't like that at all!"

"Then what was it, Elphaba? What was so Ozdamn important that you had to blow off our date?"

"It was Garrett, okay? He wouldn't leave me alone unless I met with him… he wants to help me with Dr. Dillamond's research."

The blonde looked at me. "He… he wants to help? And you actually said yes?"

"I know, I was surprised myself." I gently cupped the side of her face. "Please don't be upset. I'm sorry I missed our date, and I'll make it up to you, I swear."

Glinda looked up at me. "I-it's okay, Elphie," she hiccoughed. "I'm sorry I got so upset… I know you wouldn't cheat on me."

I took her hands gently, leaning in to kiss her. "I promise, my sweet… I will always belong only to you."

* * *

It was a rather loud and incessant knocking that woke me from slumber the next morning. I looked over at the door connecting our room to Nessa's, not wanting to leave the warmth of my bed or my girlfriend who was curled up against me.

"Nanny knows you're awake in there, so open this door before I do it for you!"

I groaned and rolled out of bed, approaching the door and unlocking it, giving Nanny my best scowl as I opened it, saying, "What?"

"I see you too lose your sense of shame upon being with another."

I furrowed my brow at that, but after a few moments, I realized that she meant I was naked.

"What I do is my business. Now what is so important that you had to—"

"Nanny has to go. Your father has come home for a shortened time and asks to see his Nessarose."

My heart skipped a beat. "Wha—Nanny, you can't! You're the only thing keeping us out of the common dormitories!"

"So after all the complaining, it turns out you do need Nanny, don't you?"

I quickly shut the door behind me, not wanting to wake Glinda if I happened to… raise my voice. "Don't play games with me, Nanny! How long is this trip supposed to last?"

"Only a few days. Surely you two are old enough to survive without a chaperone for that long."

"Well of course, but Morrible isn't going to see it that way!" I hissed. "Look, if you're going to do this, then you can't tell Morrible."

"But Nessa—"

"Isn't even a student here, so her absence can go unseen."

"Elphaba—"

"I'm not going to fight with you, Nanny. For once, I am going to be like my mother, and tell you that this is what you are going to do."

Nanny opened and closed her mouth a few times, her chest swelling with sharp words I knew she'd love to unleash on me, but all that passed and she just said, "Very well. Nanny will do as she's told."

"Thank you." I opened the door and returned to my own room, locking it behind me. Hopefully Nanny's sense of time hadn't been warped by her age, or else this would be harder to hide from Morrible than I had made it seem.

"Elphie…"

I turned my attention towards the sleepy voice and saw Glinda rolling towards me, her arms outstretched weakly. I approached the bed, sliding back in beside her. "I'm right here, my sweet."

The blonde wrapped her arms around me, pulling herself close. "My Elphie…" she mumbled with a small smile, and my heart melted.

* * *

"Elphaba."

I paused at the voice, ready to hide Dr. Dillamond's notebook if needed. When I saw that it was only Master Garrett, I relaxed. "You shouldn't sneak up on people," I said as he sat on the bench beside me.

"I apologize, but I was in the Three Queens Library, poking around like we said, and I found a rather interesting book." He held the worn book out to me, and I took it gingerly, afraid the slightest touch would cause the binding to fully fall apart.

"I can't read this," I said after a few moments of turning pages, taking my glasses off and cleaning them, just to be sure.

"Oh, sorry. It's in ancient Gillikinese."

I looked at him. "And I take it you can read ancient Gillikinese?"

"I grew up in the Gillikin and it was a required class in school."

I paused. Did that mean Glinda could…?

"Anyway," he leaned a little closer to me, grasping the book with his hand moving over mine. "This was written by a pack of Bears in the Great Gillikin Forest. See, Bears up there become more and more forgetful as they grow older, so the youngest are treated as the elders."

"Yes, I have heard of those packs." Did he take me for a complete fool?

"Well, this passage here talks about how the Bears weren't always like that. Back during the Ozma Regime, their memories were quite good. It wasn't until the regime began to decay upon being overthrown that their memories began to go as well."

"You think the Wizard had something to do with that?" I asked, looking at him.

"It does somewhat appear to be that way."

I looked back at the foreign writing. Perhaps it was possible that Glinda could read it too. I would ask her later. "Thank you, Master Garrett."

"I've told you before, you can drop the honorific."

"Miss Elphaba… Master Garrett. Might I ask why you two are not in class?"

We looked up at the voice, and Garrett quickly pulled his hands away.

"We were both removed from Dr. Nikidik's class," I simply replied.

"I see…" Morrible's eyes fell on the book in my lap. "And what material are you two studying?"

"Nothing terribly exciting," I said, closing the book.

"Let me see it, Miss Elphaba."

Reluctantly, I handed the book over to our headmistress. She opened to the first page before saying, "A book from the Three Queens Library… and from the restricted section." She gave Garrett a pointed look. "Master Garrett, care to explain?"

"I… I thought it seemed… interesting. It is from my homeland, after all," the blonde replied.

"Yes, well, in any case, I'm afraid I can't allow you two to read such material," Morrible said, tucking the book under arm. "At your age, you're still very impressionable, and I'd hate for some book to plant immoral ideas into your head." She gave us a nod before turning in a flurry of robes and walking away.

I stood, and Garret grabbed my arm. "We can't do anything about it now."

I sighed, knowing full well that he was right. "It still makes me angry."

"I know… but don't worry. We won't allow Dr. Dillamond's death to be in vain."

* * *

"You look as though you're trying to bore a hole into that book."

I looked up at my roommate's entrance, realizing I had been scowling at my book more than reading it. I sighed, setting it down. "Garrett managed to get a book from the Three Queens Library today, but Morrible took it before we could even begin to decipher it."

"I'm sorry Elphie."

"Can you read ancient Gillikinese?"

The blonde paused, right in the middle of hanging her jacket up. She pulled away in thought, leaving her jacket hovering in mid-air. I had to keep from grinning too much at the sight.

"Not terribly well. In case you haven't already noticed, I didn't pay the best attention in school," she replied. "Why?"

"The book was written by a pack of Bears that lived in the Great Gillikinese Forest, and I couldn't read it, so I was going to bring it back to show you."

"I don't know how much help I'd be anyway," Glinda said, grabbing her jacket out of mid-air and placing it in the closet. She moved to sit beside me. "Morrible really is cracking down on you, isn't she?"

"Unfortunately…" I paused before an idea came to me. It was crazy, yes, but I was willing to risk it… for Dr. Dillamond. "Glinda… I need your help."

* * *

"Elphie, are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Of course we shouldn't be, but we are."

The blonde looked around nervously as I continued to pick the lock on Morrible's door. Of course it would be just like her to place a binding spell on it too. I grabbed the handle, jiggling it a few times angrily, muttering. The lock finally clicked open, and I stumbled inside.

"Elphie!"

"I'm okay," I replied, having just been able to catch myself before falling on a sharp instrument of sorts on the desk. "Help me."

Glinda came in behind me, grabbing my cloak and yanking me back. "We're going to get caught," she whispered, moving to close the door.

"Don't close it!" I said, but it was too late. I heard the lock click again and I sighed.

"I'm sorry!" Glinda said.

"It's all right… we'll find another way out."

Of course, Morrible was smart enough to put an intruder lock on the door, effectively locking the offenders in once closed. I knew now that we only had a limited amount of time before the alarm reached our headmistress.

"Now start looking for that book, but don't touch anything," I said as I made my way carefully around the desk.

"Um… Elphie?"

I looked up to see that the blonde had her hand on a drawer handle… and was trying desperately to pull it free.

"I'm stuck!"

"Calm down, don't panic. The more you move, the more it will stick."

"Elphieee…" Her tone told me she was close to tears.

"Glinda, my sweet," I ran to her side, taking her face in my hands, "look at me: I will get you free, but for right now, you need to take a few deep breaths and calm down."

Glinda nodded, and I returned to the desk. I grabbed a fancy scarf from the hat rack and looped it through a handle on the desk and pulling. The drawer opened, and I peered inside. There it was. I reached in carefully and extracted the book, moving back to Glinda's side.

"All right, I just need you to look at a few pages," I said, opening the book. "Just do your best."

The blonde scanned the pages. "I can't…"

"Just read what you can… please Glin."

"Um… something about a red balloon… the Ozma Regime ended… and something about famine."

"The Wizard did cause this…" Distant footsteps caught my attention and I closed the book, returning it to the drawer. I rushed back to Glinda, who was struggling again.

"Elphie, I can't—I can't—"

"Glinda, deep breaths remember?" The truth was, the only way to get her free was with fire… but where was I going to find that here?

The footsteps were getting closer, and Glinda was beginning to go into hysterics. Oh, Oz, if only I could summon fire just… just with a snap of my fingers!

"Elphie, your hand is on fire!"

I looked down at the small flame in my fingertips. How… unintentional magic again? It didn't matter at the moment; I had to get Glinda free. I raised the flame, holding it under the handle. Glinda let out a wince, and after a few moments, I yanked her free.

"Come on," I hissed, taking her by the wrist and pulling her up against the wall by the door. It soon opened and we held our breath as Grommetik came hobbling in. We quickly slipped through the door behind him, fleeing down the hall.

As soon as we arrived back at our room, Glinda fell against me, trembling.

"It's all right, my sweet."

"N-n-never make me do that again…"

A feeling of guilt settled over me, and I took her wrist gently. "How's your hand?"

"F-fine… hurts a little."

The skin was a little charred, but it didn't look too bad in general. Still… this was my fault… Glinda was hurt because of me. "I'm sorry… I never should have brought you into this…"

Glinda looked up at me. "Elphie…"

"If I really loved you… I wouldn't have put you in danger." I started to turn away, but Glinda grabbed the front of my dress, forcing me to face her again.

"Elphaba Thropp, you look at me! I know you love me, and I chose to go with you."

"But… your hand…"

"We both know it could have been much worse. Please… please don't feel bad."

I pulled the blonde close in a tight embrace. "I don't… deserve you."

I felt her clutch my dress. "Yes you do… you deserve every single piece of me… and you have it."

* * *

I wasn't sure if Morrible knew about our break-in, and if she did, she wasn't bringing it up. And just as Nanny had told me, she and Nessa did return within a few days, thankfully.

"What did Father want?" I asked after greeting my sister, taking her bag for her.

"He… he wanted to talk."

"What about? What was so secretive that he couldn't be bothered to invite me?"

"He knows you're busy with your studies."

My sister seemed… was it bitter? That was odd for her. Nessa never held contempt against anyone. "Nessie… tell me what happened. Please?"

The brunette sighed. "Apparently… Turtle Heart has fallen ill."

Well, that was unexpected. "He summoned you just to tell you that?"

"He wanted it to seem that way, but I know why he really did it." Nessa stopped, clutching the wheels of her chair tightly.

Oh. Now I think I knew what she was talking about. "Nessie… you know our mother wasn't exactly… faithful."

"I don't believe it. Father must be mistaken."

"You know it's a possi—"

"Don't you dare say it!" Nessa turned on me, almost running me over. "I refuse to believe it! That… Quadling is NOT my father!"

"W-well, maybe not the one who raised you, but—"

"NO! He and I are not related in any way, shape, or form!"

"Nessa, you're getting worked up for nothing."

"That's easy for you to say! There's no doubt in Father's mind that YOU'RE his child!"

It was rare for my sister to get this angry. "Nessa, please…"

The brunette sighed. "Frexspar is my only father… and I don't care what anyone else says or believes."

"Okay, Nessie… okay."

We had reached her room, and I set her bag down.

"There you are! Nanny has been searching for you, little Melena."

I turned towards her. "Don't call me that."

"Oh, Elphaba, Elphie, Fabala, you are all those things. Nanny has something for you."

"What did you steal now?"

All Thropps learned at an early age to hide their valuables away, as they had a tendency to disappear when Nanny was around.

"A sense of humor, just like your father."

"My father doesn't find humor in anything."

"So that is true. He is quite the uptight—"

"Stop gossiping, Nanny. It hurts my soul," Nessa said.

"Of course, my flower. No, this is from Turtle Heart."

What could Turtle Heart possibly have to give me? I watched as Nanny reached into her own bag, pulling out a large glass orb. My eyes widened as she handed it to me. This… this was so familiar…

"Don't know why he wanted you to have that…"

I ignored her, looking into the orb and watching the light form colors that danced before my eyes. I… I had seen this before… something deep in the recesses of my mind stirred, and a flash of a beast with fiery fur came to me. I shook my head, pulling myself from the trance the orb had drawn me into to.

"What is that anyway?" Nessa asked, wheeling beside me.

"It's… a glass orb… blown when I was just a baby…"

"How can you even remember?"

I scowled at my sister, and she made a face back.

"Well, what meaning does it have to you?" Nanny asked.

"Oh, you two are far too nosy for your own good," I replied. "And I am leaving." I ignored their protests as I returned to my room, setting the orb on my bed. Why… why did Turtle Heart give this to me? Did he expect me to do something with it? Another mystery that I perhaps did not have the time for, unfortunately.

"Hi, Elphie. Ooooo…"

I looked up to see that Glinda's gaze was fixated on the glass orb.

"What's that?" she asked, approaching.

"A glass orb that Turtle Heart blew when I was baby."

"Why do you have it?"

"Well, Nanny brought it back, saying that he wanted me to have it… I don't know why though. I can't exactly do anything with it."

Glinda paused for a few moments before picking it up and setting it on top of the papers on my desk. "It makes a lovely paperweight."

I chuckled. "Thank you, my sweet. I'm sure that was his intention as well."

* * *

It was early the next morning that Grommetik came to our room, this time with a note for Glinda. I saw the blonde's face pale as she read it.

"What is it?"

She didn't reply, just handed me the note. Ama Clutch, it seemed, was on her way out. We quickly hurried to the infirmary without another word.

Madame Morrible was waiting for us there, and led us to a windowless alcove, where Ama Clutch seemed to be having a very heated discussion with her pillow.

"Don't put up with me, for what will I ever do for you? I will abuse your good nature, duckie, and you are a stupid nuisance to allow it!"

"Ama Clutch!" Glinda cried, running to her side. "Ama Clutch, it's me! Listen, it's your little Galinda."

Ama Clutch seemed to have not heard her, instead twisting her head this way and that. "Your protest is insulting to your forebears!"

At this, Glinda started to cry. "Ama, please, you're raving!"

"Aha, I see you have nothing to say to that," Ama Clutch said, looking somewhat satisfied.

"Come back, Ama, come back once more before you go!"

"She's going, I can see it," I said. "I saw it enough in Quadling Country. Glinda, say what you need to say, and quickly."

"Madame, may we have some privacy?" Glinda asked.

"I will stay by your side and support you. It's my duty to you girls," Morrible said, but I decided that enough was enough. I stood and began elbowing her out of the alcove. "Miss Elphaba—"

"Really, Madame, that is so kind of you, but there're really no need," I said, pushing her down the hall and through the door. "No need at all," I added before closing the door and locking it. There would most likely be trouble for that later, but now was not the time for such concerns. I returned to Glinda, finding that she was clutching Ama Clutch's hand tightly.

"Ama Clutch, you're dying, and it's all my fault," Glinda sobbed.

"Oh, stop," I said, having grown tired if hearing her say that.

"It _is_," Glinda said fiercely.

"I'm not arguing that," I said, figuring it was better to appease her. "I just mean cut yourself out of the conversation. This is her death, not your interview with the Unnamed God. Come on, do something!"

Glinda nodded, turning back to Ama Clutch. "I am going to magic you back," she said through clenched teeth. "I'm still your employer and your better, so lay still and do as I say!" The blonde closed her eyes and began muttering under breath, Ama Clutch writhing on the bed the whole time.

"Hope you don't explode her like a sandwich…" I muttered, but Glinda ignored me as she continued.

"Magicordium senssus ovinda clenx," my roommate finished out loud. "And if that doesn't work, then I don't know what will!"

Ama Clutch finally seemed to calm down, and even though a little trickle of blood ran from the outer edges of both eyes, she looked at us, saying, "Oh my dear… so you're all right then, or am I dead?"

"Not yet. Ama, I'm fine, but I… I think you're going."

"Of course I am; the Wind is here, can't you hear it?" Her gaze fell on me. "And there's Elphie too. Well, good bye, my duckies."

"Ama Clutch, wait, I have to make my apology—"

This had gone on long enough. We were losing Ama Clutch, the only person who had seen what happened to Dr. Dillamond. I chose this moment to move in front of the blonde, blocking her from Ama Clutch's sight. "Ama Clutch, before you go, tell us who killed Dr. Dillamond."

"Oh, surely you know."

"Make us sure."

"Well I saw it, nearly. The knife was still there, still wet with blood, having not yet been cleaned."

"What else did you see?" I pressed.

"I saw the knife, and the Wind came to take the Goat as the clockwork turned."

"It was Grommetik, wasn't it?" I continued, hoping she'd say the words herself.

"Well, that's what I'm_ saying_, duckie."

"Did it see you, Ama?" Glinda cried, shoving me aside. "Did it turn on you, and make you ill?"

"It was my time to be ill… and now my time to die, so just hold my hand, duckie."

"But the fault is mine—" Glinda began again.

"Hush. You will do me more good is you just hushed, sweet Galinda, my duck," Ama Clutch said gently, patting Glinda's hand. The older woman closed her eyes and breathed in and out a few times. We sat in silence as a wind (or the imagined Wind) seemed to sweep through the room, taking Ama Clutch with it.

That night found us sitting on my bed, Glinda curled up against me, having cried herself to sleep. I, meanwhile, was sitting with the glass orb in my lap, trying to decipher what the dancing colors meant. Every so often, I believed I caught a glimpse of something, but whenever I tried examining it closer, it would disappear. What mystery was locked deep inside this glass? Why did Turtle Heart leave it to me to figure out? There were too many unanswered questions running rampant in my mind.

In her sleep, Glinda whimpered, "Elphie…"

I put an arm around her, holding her close. "I'm here, my sweet."

It became clear to me in that moment that Shiz would not provide me with the answers I so desperately sought. Staying here… remaining under Morrible's control… it couldn't go on. It would only stifle me further.

"I have to get out…"

* * *

Ama Clutch's funeral was modest, with only the first two pews being filled. The rest of the chapel was empty. Glinda clutched my hand the entire time, and it was the second time I had to see her dress in black.

After her sheet wrapped body was sent down the oiled chute to the furnace, we all headed back Madame Morrible's office, where it seemed she had spared every expense on refreshments. The tea was ancient and stale, and the biscuits were hard as rocks.

"Not even a small bowl of cream?" Glinda asked our headmistress.

"My dear, I try to protect my charges from the worst of the food shortages, and even go without such things myself, but I cannot be wholly responsible for your ignorance. If everyone would only obey the Wizard, there would be an abundance, but don't you realize that conditions verge on famine?"

I had a sharp retort to that, but Glinda turned away from the Head, looking up at me and leading me away. "This doesn't do Ama Clutch justice at all," the blonde choked out.

"I know, my sweet, and I'm sorry. Later, we'll all sneak out and order bowls of saffron cream, just to spite the old hag."

Glinda smiled slightly. "Thank you, Elphie."

I nodded before leading the blonde a little further off. "Now, listen to me. This school no longer offers us anything."

"What are you talking about, Elphie?"

"I mean, don't you see what's going on here? There is something bad happening in Oz… and if we stay here with our heads buried in the sand, then we'll get sucked down with it. We have to go."

"Go where?"

"The Emerald City."

Glinda's eyes widened. "Wh-what? Elphaba, how can you—"

"Look," I said, pulling the glass orb from my bag. "Turtle Heart gave me this for a reason and last night, I could see flashes of emeralds… I don't know what it means, but I do know that just sitting here won't do anything for us. We have to go see the Wizard."

Glinda seemed to still be in shock and I replaced the orb.

"Miss Glinda, Morrible called in a chilling voice. The blonde turned and went over to the Head nodding her head at whatever Morrible was saying before returning to me. "We've been nabbed for a lecture. We have to be yelled at."

"Not a word about what Ama Clutch said, got it?" I hissed. Glinda nodded.

After all the guests had left, Glinda and I sat on the couch facing the headmistress, who was lighting a fire. She sat down, saying, "Now that Ama Clutch has gone to ash, we must go one bravely. My girls, may I first ask you to recount Ama Clutch's last words?"

Glinda spoke up, saying, "Oh, it was nonsense to the end."

"No surprise, but what nonsense?"

"We couldn't make it out."

"I was wondering if she said anything about the death if the Goat."

My fists clenched and I held them in my lap, my expression never changing.

"O-oh, the Goat? Well—"

"Of course, it must have been very shocking for her to find Grommetik covered in spurts of blood from the strong circulatory pulse. I had sent him to bring the Goat a cheering pot of tea that morning, you see, and I can only surmise that that's when your Ama came across him. I did always think that the sight of all that blood was the final straw for her."

"Madame Morrible, you should know that Ama Clutch never had such a disease as the one I first described to you. I invented, but I didn't assign it to her," Glinda said, her voice wavering.

I watched Morrible, waiting to see if her expression changed, but if she already knew this truth, she didn't let it show. She instead said, "There seems to be an imaginative, even prophetic power in your pointed little society skull, Miss Glinda."

I shot a glare at our headmistress for that, and she noticed. "Oh, and Miss Elphaba, always watching out for you. The very soul of charity."

The mention of a soul always set me off and I opened my mouth to argue, but Glinda put a hand on my arm, causing me to stop.

"Now, Miss Elphaba, if you would be so kind as to show me that glass orb you had earlier."

I didn't move.

Morrible sighed, standing up. "By an authority vested in me that is too high to be named, I have been charged with a crucial task. You will not repeat what you hear in this room; I have already wrapped you both in a binding cocoon. No"—she held up a hand at my protests— "no, you have not right to object. The deed is already done."

And from there on, I could not tell you what she told me. As much as I may try, I cannot remember the words. All I remember is a mention of my sister… my foot twisting and catching a side table, causing a cup and saucer to fall to the ground and smash… and Morrible's mocking face.


	19. Entry 19

When Glinda and I were finally able to escape from the hell of Morrible's office, I could already begin to feel my memory of the incident fading.

"What happened? What did she say?" Nessa asked as we approached.

"I don't… remember."

"What do you mean, you don't remember? It just happened, didn't it?"

"It's… just giving me a headache."

The brunette was about to answer when she suddenly cried, "Catch her, catch her, I can't—"

I turned to see that Glinda was fainting and I quickly caught her before she hit the ground. "Come on, resist!" I said through clenched teeth, pulling the words from the back of my throat. "Steady on, not here! Come on, Glinda, you've got more brains than this! I love you too much, snap out of it!"

"Well really, Elphie, you needn't be so romantic about it," Glinda said, but she was smiling slightly. I helped her to her feet and she leaned against me slightly.

"Welcome back. What goodies were you snacking on in there?" Nanny asked.

Glinda shook her head, and I stepped in, saying, "Come on. The others are waiting for us at the Peach and Kidneys, and I'm afraid it might rain."

* * *

"Ah, the ladies!"

This was the greeting we received when we entered the Peach and Kidneys, easily finding our friends. Glinda and I slid into our seats as drinks were passed around the table. It appeared that the others had already started without us, as Avaric was swaying to a tune only he could hear.

"Elphaba, sing a song for us!" he said upon seeing me. The others voiced their agreement.

"Oh, no. I won't fall for that again," I said, picking up my own drink.

Money was set down and it did wonders, bringing saffron cream to our table, and as the group became more intoxicated, they grew more rambunctious. Finally, the manager came and told us to get the hell out, to which we complied, grumbling.

Had we known it was to be the last time we'd all be together, we might have lingered.

"I've got an idea," Avaric said once we were outside. "Let's head over to the Philosophy Club."

"I want to go," Nessa said, and I noticed my sister was swaying in her chair slightly. That was unlike her.

"Oh no, you don't," Nanny said, having not had that much to drink.

"You don't even know what it is," Boq added with a giggle.

"I don't care. I don't want to leave tonight. All we have is each other, and I don't want to be left out!" Nessa protested.

I felt bad for my sister at this point, but the Philosophy Club was not the place for her to begin the process of fitting in. "Hush Nessa, hush my pretty. That's not the place for you, or me. Come on, we're going home. Glinda, come on."

"I have no Ama now," Glinda said, stabbing me in the chest with her finger. I could tell she'd had one too many tonight as well. "I am my own agent, and I want to go to the Philosophy Club!"

"The others can do what they want, but we are going home," I said, my voice firmer. I would not allow my girlfriend to visit such a place.

"Come with us," Fiyero said. "Please, if we ask politely?"

"I wanna gooooooo!" Glinda whined, pulling on my sleeve.

The others had hailed a cab and were starting to get in. Glinda left me to follow, but I grabbed her arm, yanking her back. "You can't!" I hissed. "We're going to the Emerald City!"

"I'm going to the Philosophy Club with my friend—"

"Tonight, you little airhead, we have no time to waste on sex!"

The carriage had pulled away and Glinda looked at me, her brow slightly furrowed. "What were you about to say… to say…?"

"I already said it, and I'm not saying it again. My sweet, you and I are going back to Crage Hall tonight only to pack, and then we're away."

"But the gates will be locked—"

"Then it's over the garden wall, and we're going to see the Wizard, come what may and hell to pay."

* * *

If the rail line had been laid down between Shiz and the Emerald City, as was originally planned before the Wizard took over, then Glinda and I would have reached our destination in a matter of days. However, taken into account that we were not wealthy, and the weather had chosen not to cooperate, it would take us more than a week.

We spent our first night like many other third-class travelers: in the back room above an inn kitchen. The single bed was lumpy, and as we lay in the darkness, I felt Glinda shivering against me.

"Cold, my sweet?" I asked.

Glinda clutched my nightdress tighter as she said, "I… I don't want to sound spoiled, but… I… I don't like this Elphie."

I held her closer, kissing her forehead. "It's all right… I understand."

Through the darkness, I saw Glinda look up at me, and I offered her a smile back. I felt her undo the ties of my nightdress and push it from my shoulders down to my waist before doing the same to her own clothing.

"Glin—" I started, not sure if this was the best place for… well, sex.

The blonde pulled her bare skin flush against mine with a sigh. "I'll be all right… as long as I'm with you."

I did not sleep those nights we traveled, and instead I nodded off during the carriage rides, my head resting on Glinda's shoulder.

* * *

The Emerald City rose abruptly and decisively before us, seeming very out of place in the barren land. I saw Glinda make a face when she saw it, and I smiled slightly.

"Not what you were expecting?" I asked.

"I don't know… something about it… I suppose it's my Gillikinese superiority asserting itself."

We entered through the northern gate, and were given a pair of round green glasses as we did.

"You must keep these on the whole time you are in the city," the gatekeeper told us. "Otherwise, the brilliance of the buildings will blind you."

I had my doubts, but as we set foot upon the city road, everything was such a vivid green that I wondered if perhaps the gatekeeper had been right. Glinda looked around with awe, holding tight to my hand so as not to be separated, but I had passed through this city once before, on my way to Shiz. My gaze was instead fixated on the people.

"No Animals… none that we can see anyway," I said. "Perhaps they have all gone underground."

"Underground?" Glinda asked, looking at me with a furrowed brow.

"In hiding," I clarified. "I mean, look at the poor… even the Quadlings looked… more than these…"

It was hard to see such poverty in a city that claimed to be grand, but of course, that was only down the back alleys. Once we got closer to the city's center, the number of well-dressed people increased, as did the city's grandeur. A man came by, advertising a show called "Wiz o Mania" and before I could protest, Glinda had acquired tickets and was dragging me to the theater.

"Glinda, we don't have time—"

"Elphie, this is the Emerald City!"

"I thought you didn't like it."

"Maybe not from the outside, but it has some… perks. I saw a lovely dress shop on our way here, and I simply have to—"

"Do you remember why we're here?"

"Yes, yes, to see the Wizard, but Elphie, he'll still be here after the show. Please?" She gave me a pout, and I made the mistake of looking.

I sighed. "Fine… but only for one day… one short day."

The sun was setting when we were finally able to make our way to the palace, but were immediately stopped by another gatekeeper.

"Come back tomorrow!" he barked at us.

And so we did… and the next day… and the next. Finally, after five days, we made it to the Commander General, and after I managed to get the words "Madame Morrible" out, he informed us that we would have an audience of four minutes tomorrow.

"Dress code is formal," he said, handing us a card of regulations.

"It's about time," I said as we left the palace. "I've grown tired of this city."

"What are you going to wear?" the blonde asked.

"Well, seeing as I lack the proper dress, I am obliged to ignore this," I said, tossing the card aside.

"Elphaba!" Glinda stooped down to pick the card up. "This is the Wizard we're talking about!"

"And that means what to me?" I asked as we entered our hotel room.

"Elphaba, he's the ruler of Oz. You have to make yourself presentable if you want him to take your seriously."

"And the green skin doesn't already work against me?"

"Everything here is green, Elphie."

"Glinda, please, don't worry yourself. Everything will be just fine," I said, offering her a smile before leaning in to kiss her. "But if you want to give me a confidence boost…"

The blonde smiled, pushing me back gently to sit on the bed before she moved into my lap. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean…"

"Now who doesn't get sexual innuendos?"

"Oh, I get them perfectly fine…" Glinda said, sliding out of her dress. "Unless you'd prefer me not to?"

My reply was pulling her down for a kiss, and our bodies moved together as one in the City of Emeralds.

It would be the last time.

* * *

"You have four minutes. Do not speak unless you are spoken to. Do not venture a remark. You may address the Wizard as 'Your Highness'."

"That sounds pretty regal to me," I said. "I thought royalty had been—" An elbow from Glinda silenced me.

"The Wizard is not in good humor today, so I would be prepared for what you may find."

It was a little bit of a walk to the actual throne room, and when we arrived, we found that the Wizard was absent.

"He stepped out to use the toilet. We'll wait," I said.

"I hope this doesn't figure into our four minutes. It took us at least two to walk here and—oh, Elphie, take that off!" The blonde snatched the black hat from my head.

"Hey, give that back!" I tried taking it from her, but she held it away from me.

"Now Elphie, you can't forget to tell him how wonderful he is. Wizards love that. And be yourself… well, within reason."

I gave the blonde a scowl before snatching my hat back, but before I could replace it, the sudden sound of a thunderstorm echoed through the room.

"I AM OZ, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE! WHO ARE YOU?" The voice shook the room, and I stood, petrified with terror for once in my life. A crystallized skeleton came into view, sitting on the throne. "WHOOOO ARRRRE YOUUUU?" bellowed the thing, the Wizard of Oz, whatever.

"Elphie!" Glinda hissed. "Oh you useless thing, all talk and no—I am Glinda from Frottica, if you please, Your Highness, descended from—"

"I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE FROM!"

Glinda shrank back against me. "A-and this is Elphaba Thropp, if you please."

"AND IF I DON'T PLEASE?"

That banal comment snapped me from my terrified state, and I shook my head, saying, "We're students of Madame Morrible's at Crage Hall in Shiz, and we're in possession of some vital information."

"We are? Thanks for telling me," Glinda hissed, but I could not deal with her at the moment.

What I had said seemed to calm the skeleton, and after a pause it said, "Vital information of her?"

"No, gossip is unreliable," I said.

"Gossip is instructive, so go ahead girls, gossip."

"No!" I said, frustrated. "We're here on more important business!"

"Elphie, do you want to get us thrown in prison?"

"Who are you to decide what's important business?"

"I keep my eyes open. You didn't call us here to ask for our gossip; we came on our own agenda."

"How do you know I didn't call you here?"

I paused. I couldn't be sure, not after the incident with Morrible.

"Elphaba, calm down. You're making him mad," Glinda said, pulling on my arm.

"So what? I'm mad." I turned towards the skeleton again. "I have news of the murder of a great scientist and thinker—"

"Doctor Dillamond? Is that what this is about?"

"It is about the entire Animal population being deprived of their—"

"I know of his works, and what you call his murder I know little of, and I could care less!"

I bristled at that. "I am no slave to emotions," I said, taking a few rolled up papers from my sleeve that I had placed earlier. "This is not propaganda; it is the argued Theory of Consciousness! No right-thinking ruler can afford to ignore—"

"I am touched that you presume me to be right-thinking. You may drop your papers where you stand… unless you prefer to approach?" The skeleton held an arm out to me. "My pet?"

I froze at the name, remembering the very conversation I'd had with my sister and the others about such terms of endearment. I chose to drop the papers. "I shall take you to be right-thinking, for did I not, I would be inclined to join an army against you."

"Oh hell, Elphie. She doesn't speak for the both of us," Glinda said. I glanced at her. "I'm an independent person here."

It was then that I realized I was getting nowhere. "Please sir… the hardship on the Animals is more than they can bear… please, you must get out and see their sorrow. This not just youthful outrage, or untamed emotion. What's happening is immoral-"

"I will NOT listen when the word 'immoral' is used!"

"Then what word may I use to imply wrong?"

"Try 'mysterious', and then relax, my green girlie."

"But if I did not know what wrong was, what would keep me from assassinating you?"

"I don't believe in assassination!" Glinda said quickly. "I-I don't even know what that means! I'm going to take my leave while I'm still alive!"

I caught her arm, stopping her as she turned for the door.

"Wait," the skeleton said. A pause. Minutes ticked by. "Why did Madame Morrible send you?"

"She didn't."

"Do you know the meaning of the word 'pawn'?"

"Do you know what resistance means?" I shot back.

He chose to laugh, rather than kill us. "What does she want of you?"

"A decent education!" Glinda answered quickly. I gave her a look with slanted eyes.

"I see. And after you graduate?"

"I… I suppose I'll go back to Frottica and get married."

The skeleton looked at me. "And you?"

I didn't answer, Glinda's own answer having struck something deep within me. Back to Frottica… marriage?

"But… if you truly feel for the Animals and their plight… perhaps there is something you can do."

That was unexpected. "So, I am to be your pawn now?" I said.

The skeleton raised an arm slowly, pointing to a door that seemed to have appeared out of thin air. "Through there you will find the answers you seek."

I wasn't sure if I trusted him, but I started for the door, a still terrified Glinda clinging to my arm.

"Beware whom you serve," the skeleton said before the lights left him.

Inside the next room, we found nothing but a small table, and on it sat a thick book titled "Grimmerie". I approached, opening it.

"Elphie, you shouldn't be touching things, you don't know what—"

"What was that back there?"

"What was what?"

"All that about going back to Frottica and getting married?"

Glinda paused, a sad look crossing her face. "Elphie, I… I just said that… I didn't…"

"I think you did mean it." I turned the page, shaking my head.

"Elphaba—"

"Just forget it." It wasn't that I was mad at her per say… I was still pent up from the encounter with the Wizard, the skeleton, whatever it was.

"You're so predictable."

We looked up to see Morrible approaching, which came as a sort of shock.

"Madame Morrible! What are you—" Glinda started, but our headmistress cut her off with a raised hand.

"I knew you two would wind up here eventually," she said.

Instinctively, I pushed Glinda behind me protectively. "We came on our own agenda to see the Wizard," I said.

"Did you, Miss Elphaba?"

I was becoming tired of being asked these questions.

"You came to serve a purpose. You will read from the Grimmerie and—"

"I refuse to ordered about! I am my own person, and no one is going to tell me otherwise!"

"Miss Elphaba—"

I grabbed the Grimmerie, unsure of what power it possessed, stuffed it in my bag, and ran, pulling Glinda behind me.

"Guards, there is a fugitive loose in the palace! Find her!"

We ran through the palace, up several flights of stairs, hearing the guards behind us. The stairs eventually ran out, and we found ourselves in the attic. I quickly barricaded the door behind us, grabbing a broom.

"What are you going to do with that, Elphaba? They have guns!" Glinda said shrilly.

"I don't know! I don't…" I looked at the blonde, and I knew we were thinking the same thing: how had everything gone so wrong?

A pounding on the door and we both turned to look.

"E-Elphie…"

"It's all right, my sweet," I said, holding her close. I pulled the Grimmerie from my bag, opening it and flipping through a few pages before stopping.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Taking a leap of faith," I replied before I started chanting. If Morrible wanted this book so badly, then it had to contain some sort of power. The broom beside me twitched and we both looked at it. A few moments later, it levitated a few inches off the floor.

There was a loud crack as the door split, and the guards tried to force their way in. I ran to the window, opening it as I awkwardly mounted the broom. "Come on!" I called to the blonde.

She looked at me with wide eyes. "Elphie…"

"What are you waiting for? They're going to break in any moment!"

The door suddenly gave way and I looked at Glinda, desperation in my eyes.

"Please, Glinda, I love you too much!"

This seemed to make up the blonde's mind and she stepped forward, grabbing my hand. I was about to pull her up onto the broom with me when a guard suddenly grabbed her, yanking her away.

"Elphaba!"

"No!" I said, reaching for her, kicking at a guard who tried to grab my boot. "Glinda!"

She struggled against the guard, and my broom wavered dangerously out the window, seeming eager to leave. I held it still, reaching for the blonde. I was about to reach her when the sudden sound of a gunshot rang out.

Glinda screamed.

At first, I didn't feel the pain, but when the blood started running down from my right shoulder, I felt it. I put a hand to it with a gasp.

"ELPHABA!"

I almost fell off my broom, blood staining my verdant hand.

"Elphie, go! Go now!" Glinda screamed.

"No… I can't… leave you…"

The guards tried to grab me again and my broom rose high above their reach, almost banging my head on the windowsill.

"GO NOW!" Tears were streaming down her face and as much as I loved her… I couldn't stay… not with my injury. So, as much as it pained me to do so, I turned and flew away, leaving my girlfriend, my only love, behind.

I don't know how long I flew, or how far I got from the Emerald City, but I do know that the sun was setting when I landed, taking a few shaky steps. I had tried everything to stop the bleeding, but had only succeeded in slowing it. My gaze fell on a small farmhouse and I staggered towards it. My vision was going blurry… the pain brought me to my knees. Light spilled onto the cracked ground from where the door opened, but I didn't see the person approaching me as I collapsed into darkness.

* * *

"_That was your very first party_!"

Glinda… she never should have been dragged into this.

"_Elphaba, I… I'm happy for you."_

Fiyero… he had too kind a heart to keep up that shallow pretense.

"_Please Elphaba, try to understand."_

Nessa… who would take care of her?

"_There are plenty other fish in the sea."_

Madame Morrible… all along she had lied!

"_Beware whom you serve."_

And the Wizard… I had once been naïve to believe in him… but no more.

* * *

I opened my eyes weakly, and found myself looking at a wooden ceiling. I sat up with a groan, a hand to my shoulder. I felt crude bandages, but crude as they may, they had stopped the bleeding. I immediately looked around for Glinda, but the events of yesterday (I assumed it was yesterday) came rushing back to me, and tears started down my face, burning it. Glinda… Glinda was gone! And it was all my fault! I couldn't stay here. I had to go back.

"So you're awake."

I looked up at the voice and saw a tired-looking man standing in the doorway.

"I presume you are the one who bandaged my wound, and I thank you," I said with a wince.

"Coming from the Emerald City?"

I nodded, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and attempting to stand. "I must return there."

"With that injury?"

"It's nothing… now that the bleeding has stopped—"

"If you aggravate it further, there's no guarantee it will ever heal."

"I'm fine—"

"You were asleep for three days."

This caused me to pause. Three days? Had my body really needed that mush rest? I thought about Glinda, being held prisoner to the Wizard. I couldn't leave her like that.

"Again, I appreciate your hospitality, but someone is waiting for me in the Emerald City, and I really can't keep them waiting any longer."

"Are you sure you should be going back to the place you were shot?"

"I admit, it does not sound like the smartest idea… but it is something I must do."

It was surprising that the farmer continued to be hospitable, even as I was heading out the door. Handing me my broom and a small loaf of bread, he tipped his hat before heading back out to his fields, almost as though nothing had happened.

I wasn't exactly sure which way the Emerald City was, but my broom seemed to know as it took off. It intrigued me that the object seemed to have a mind of its own, and only after on simple spell.

Upon my arrival to the Emerald City, I found that its appearance seemed, well… less emerald. I realized then that I was no longer wearing my glasses, and as I landed in a deserted back alley before making my way onto the street, it occurred to me that this entire city was just another of the Wizard's lies. What had once been vibrant green buildings were now only paling green, while all the people were as white as their clothing. No wonder no one had looked at me funny when we arrived; with those ridiculous glasses on, everyone blended in.

Getting back into the palace would pose as a problem, as I was sure I couldn't go waltzing in without setting off an alarm. The walls of the palace were made of pure emeralds, too slick to climb. I pondered this dilemma, pacing around the fountain in the city center. If I couldn't sneak in… I would have to find a way to hide in plain sight. My eyes fell on a dress boutique, and a small idea wriggled its way into my brain. If everyone looked green through those ridiculous glasses, then what would set me apart as a fugitive if I too looked like everyone else? It was a long shot, but one I had to take… for Glinda.

* * *

"… and to your right, you can see we have tapestries depicting our great Wizard's arrival to Oz."

The group "oooed" and "ahhhed" at the sight, but I did not share in their enchantment with cloth. After having managed to sneak in with a tour group, I was now searching for a way to escape. My eyes fell on the door Glinda and I had gone through to first meet the Wizard, and as the tour group started moving again, I silently made my way over to said door, slipping inside before my absence could be noticed.

Once through, I shucked my ridiculous attire and began walking, my footsteps seeming especially loud on the emerald tiles. I peered around a corner, watching two guards go by before continuing past them and up a staircase, where I paused to think. Now, where would they be keeping Glinda? They had cornered us in the tower… was it possible she was still up there? Or perhaps in another solitary room? The only thing I could do was check, and after making my way back up to the tower, I soon found that Glinda was not here, nor did she seem to be anyway else in the palace.

I leaned against the wall with a sigh. "Glinda… where are you?" I said to myself, almost tearfully as I slid down the wall into a seated position. I never should have left her behind… I should have tried harder to save her.

A strange noise caught my attention and after looking around, I realized it was coming from my bag. I pulled the glass orb out, finding that it was glowing slightly. It may have been ridiculous… but I would try anything to find her.

"Show me Glinda."

The orb seemed to react in a swirl of colors before emitting a bright light. I couldn't believe what I was seeing: there she was, sitting in a carriage and looking miserable.

"Glinda!"

It appeared as though she couldn't see or hear me, so all I could do was watch.

"Don't look so depressed, my child. We'll be arriving back at Shiz soon, and it will be as though this whole mess never happened," I heard a familiar voice say. I growled at the realization that it was Morrible.

"But it did happen! Elphaba was shot, I saw it! She could be dying somewhere!" Glinda cried, tears starting down her face.

"Miss Elphaba chose her own path. What happened to her was tragic, yes, but think of this way, my dear: you survived."

"I'd rather be dead than live without her."

It was at this moment that the orb went out, and I was left looking at my own distorted reflection. After a slight pause, I replaced the orb and stood, looking out the window. Back to Shiz it was then… the place I had once called home was now enemy territory.

* * *

Travel by broom was much quicker than travel by carriage, but it still took me a few days to reach my former school. Night had fallen when I arrived and after determining the coast was clear, I flew up to our dorm room window, peering inside.

Glinda had just left the bathroom and was making her way to my old bed, a towel wrapped around her slim figure. The blonde collapsed onto my bed, holding my pillow close as her shoulders began to shake with sobs. Distressed at this sight, I knocked gently on the window. The blonde looked up at the noise and I saw her eyes widen. Slowly, she stood, approaching the window and opening it.

"Elphie… you…"

"Hello, my sweet. Surely all those tears weren't because of me?"

The blonde's reply was to grab the front of my cloak and yank me in roughly, causing me to slide across the desk before hitting the floor.

"Glinda—" I started, but the blonde was on me, her lips attached to mine.

"You mean green thing, you've certainly taken your sweet time!" she said after breaking away.

"I apologize, but I did go back to the palace to save you."

"You would have done better to save me from that awful carriage ride here!"

I sat up, pulling Glinda into my arms. "I'm sorry… but I'm here now… I won't leave you alone with her."

I felt the blonde cling to me. "I was so scared… I thought… I thought I'd never see you again…"

"I thought so too… but we can't stay here, my sweet. We must go." I stood, pulling the blonde up with me.

"Elphie, wait—"

"I won't wait; that's how I lost you last time."

"Elphie—"

"We don't have time to stay and chat."

"Elphaba, you have got to make time!"

At her tone, I looked back at her. "Glinda… what is it? What's wrong?"

"I can't… go with you… not this time."

"What are you talking about? We can't stay here!"

"No, Elphaba." She looked me straight in the eyes. "You can't stay here… I have to…"

I approached the blonde, taking both of her hands in my own. "Glinda, my sweet, you don't have to stay. I'll protect you from Morrible, and we'll make a life for ourselves… just you and I… together, we're unlimited."

Glinda shook her head, tears starting down her face. "I c-can't… Morrible… she'll find us… and I can't… I can't let her hurt you again… as long as I'm her student and under her grasp… she can find me. I have to stay… to keep you alive."

"Glinda—"

"Elphaba, don't ask me to watch you die again! I can't do that!" The blonde sank to her knees, her hands covering her face. "I can't… I'm not strong enough to lose you a second time… at least this way… I know you're alive…"

I knelt in front of her, my own heart aching. I should have been the one protecting her… "I'll come back for you… the minute you graduate, I'll be back."

Glinda looked at me. "I love you, Elphaba Thropp."

I hugged her tightly, taking in the scent of her hair for what could have very well been the last time. "I love you too… with everything that I am."

The blonde clung to me, and I leaned down to kiss her as deeply and passionately as I knew how. The kiss had to end, and when it did, I stood, Glinda still clinging to the ends of my cloak. I didn't allow myself to look back as I mounted my broom and took off into the night sky.

I didn't cry of course, and not looking back was not to hide my tears, but to help lessen the sting of their absence. But I'm sure that to Glinda, the sting was very real.


	20. Entry 20

_Back in my dorm room at Shiz… there was Glinda, sitting on my bed. I approached her, moving over her as she leaned back against the headboard. The ties of her dress came undone and as it fell from her shoulders, my gaze fell on a rapidly bleeding wound. The blood stained my hands as I tried to stop it, but when I looked back up at the blonde, I saw my own reflection looking back at me. I was the one bleeding as I began to fall to the floor._

"_ELPHABA!"_

* * *

A crash jerked me awake, my face burning. I put a hand to it, finding that I had been sobbing in my sleep. I quickly wiped my face with my sleeves, hearing drunk, jovial laughter in the kitchen beneath me. Looking at the empty space in the bed beside me, I wished I could be that carefree again. Had it only been a week ago that Glinda and I had shared a bed… and an intimate moment? The tears were starting up again… but no! As I had told the Wizard, I would not be a slave to emotions! I had to continue on… but where was I supposed to go from here? I had gone to the highest power in Oz, and he been turned away. He cared nothing for Dr. Dillamond's murder and—

Of course. That had been my mistake all along. All this time, I had been going to people who didn't share my views and had tried to make them see what I saw. With such narrow-minded people, I couldn't expect them to change. The only logical solution now was to go to the people who saw Oz the way I did.

The Animals of Oz. I knew that the Animals were underground, and the only way I was going to find them was by tracing their steps to find an in.

The Emerald City must have been the first place they started to disappear after the Wizard took over, and only recently had it spread to Shiz University. Glinda had told me she'd met Dr. Dillamond on the train to Shiz, and how his ticket had cost twice as much as hers. That meant he had come from the Gillikin, and the inflated price of his ticket was evidence of the oppression, but not eradication. So Animals were still allowed to live in the Gillikin, but segregated from humans? Based on the train story, it didn't quite seem that way, but the only way I was going to find out was to go there myself.

So to the Gillikin it was then… to the homeland of the woman I loved.

* * *

I realize that I could have flown to the Gillikin, but to assist my research, as it were, I decided to purchase a train ticket at the Dixxi House stop and ride the locomotive to Settica, which lay in the southern most part of the Uplands. That's where I would start my search and evaluation of the area, and I'd work my way up from there.

_And what happens when I reach Frottica?_

Nothing. This was merely for research purposes and doing what had to be done. Being in Glinda's hometown would change nothing. It wasn't like she was there. She was still back at Shiz… alone… no, no I couldn't let myself slip back into that! The more I thought about herm the harder this would be. I had to steel myself against such emotions. Glinda was fine, and in two years, she'd be graduated and we would be ready for each other.

Two years… only two…

* * *

The train ride took less time than I expected and soon enough, I was disembarking at the Settica station, hardly noticing the looks I was receiving. It occurred to me that the high-class society of the Uplands was not used to seeing someone with green skin, but I had much bigger concerns. First step: finding an Animal.

This proved to be more difficult that I initially thought. If there were Animals living here, they were hiding exceedingly well from me. Finally, as the sun began to set, I came across a small part of Settica that looked just a tad more run down than the rest of the area. I saw a Boar step into one of the houses, closing the door behind him. This had to be it. I approached the Boar's house and knocked a few times.

The door opened a few inches, stopped by a chain. "Can I help you?" the Boar asked gruffly.

"Hello, I was wondering if—"

"I don't have the money yet, so go tell your boss that sending his people out here won't do anything!"

The Boar began to close the door, which I caught quickly with my hand. "W-wait, please, I wasn't sent by anyone."

"Then why are you here?"

"I… I was a student of Dr. Dillamond's… I was there the night he was killed. I just want to know what happened… and why."

A pause. "Your kind said it was an accident."

That hurt, hearing him say "my kind". I suddenly felt as though there were something wrong with me… something wrong with humans in general.

"He was murdered; I know that for sure. Even my appeal to the Wizard was fruitless."

"No surprise there." Another pause. "So why are you here?"

"What the Wizard has done… it's unforgiveable. I want to put a stop to it… but to do that, I need help from the Animals. And to even do that, I must first learn from them."

The Boar looked at though he wasn't sure how to reply, and I could understand his trepidation. Finally, after a few tense minutes, he closed the door slightly, removing the chain before opening his home to me.

"What is it you wish to know?" he asked as I entered, closing the door behind me.

"Well… perhaps we could start with you and your life. Surely things weren't always like this in the Gillikin," I replied, sitting down at the table.

"No… things were different… but I'm curious about your story as well. You are quite… green, after all."

"Yes, green as sin; I've been told many times. I apologize, for I do not know why my skin is this color. Perhaps it is punishment for my parents' sins… or just because Fate decided to deal me a cruel hand. In any case, I am green, and I have learned how to live as such."

The Boar seemed satisfied with this and sat across from me. "When I was young, the distribution of Animals throughout the Gillikin, the Uplands especially, were relatively equal. Even if there were more humans, our rights did not vary as much as now."

"I assume the overthrow of the Ozma Regime changed that?"

"Was there any doubt? As soon as the Wizard took over… things changed, and drastically. The Animal population in the Uplands began to dwindle, and those that were allowed to stay moved down here, to Settica."

"Were you among them?"

"Yes. I used to live in Frottica, but I doubt you'd find any Animals there now."

"None at all?"

"Not since the Upland family took over that area."

"Wait… the Uplands took over Frottica?" This was news… news I did not particularly want to hear.

"The Wizard gave Highmuster Arduenna the right to do so… I suppose what they say is true. Absolute power corrupts absolutely… because as soon as that power was granted, that's when everything took a turn for the worst for the Animals…"

"Is… is that who you thought I worked for?"

"Yes. Highmuster has people working everyone, forcing the Animals to either pay their living dues or pack up and leave."

I sighed, shaking my head. "It's just so wrong…"

"So… you… you really are concerned for us, aren't you?"

I nodded. "I admit, Oz wasn't perfect before the Wizard, but he's only made things far worse. This has to end."

"And what end will you go to in order to make that happen?"

I leaned forward. "Even if it means I must kill the Wizard myself, things will change."

* * *

I spent the next few days taking the train up to Wittica and continuing my search there. Animals were even scarcer up here, which was hard to believe. What was happening up here, and why wasn't anyone doing anything? When I finally did locate the Animals, there were only about a dozen of them, and my findings remained unchanged: the farther into the Gillikin I went, the fewer Animals there were. Frottica was next on my list, and I dreaded what I would find there.

At the end of the week, I arrived in Frottica, the high-society atmosphere feeling almost stifling. Though I was doubtful, I began my search for the Animals, even just one. That night, as I sat down at a small inn, I decided to write to my girlfriend, if she still even considered herself that. Of course, it would be just like Morrible to intercept all of Glinda's mail and such, in hopes of catching me, so I would have to be one step ahead of her.

_My Dear Galinda,_

_I am writing to thank you for so graciously inviting me to your family's home. It was so kind of you to help me escape the dreariness of Quadling Country, even if only for a week or so. Frottica certainly has changed since the last time I saw it, but we both know that was quite some time ago. Even the People here seem different, almost as if those same People aren't here anymore._

_I hope things are well with you at school. Your second year almost finished; time seems to fly, yet move so slowly doesn't it? I hope your roommate isn't giving you too much trouble. I remember you telling me that she was quite stubborn and righteous. Patience, my dear, patience and compassion, and I'm sure she'll come around._

_Oh, but listen to me, blathering on. I must be going; I have to head home in a few days, and I'll be moving around. If you wish to contact me, send your letters to that little place we stayed that one summer. Oh, you remember the one, don't you? With the skeleton house? You're a smart girl; I'm sure you'll figure it all out._

_All my love,_

_Fae_

I folded the letter before sliding it into an envelope and delivering it to the post office. It would probably take her some time, but I knew that Glinda would be able to decipher my letter, and hopefully before Morrible. I hadn't the time to dwell on such things though. My search for the Animals had to continue.

Two days in, and not an Animal in sight. I was starting to believe that what the Boar had said was true: that there weren't any Animals in Frottica. Still… I didn't want to believe that Glinda's parents were the ones who had assisted the Wizard in this… eradication. But, for research purposes… I had to find out. I would have to go to the parents of my girlfriend for the answers.

* * *

The size and grandeur of the Uplandian Mansion took me by surprise and for a few moments, I could only stare. I snapped myself out of that trance and headed up the stairs, knocking on the front door a few times. After a minute or so, the door was opened by a stiff-looking butler, who looked immediately repulsed at the sight of me.

"May I help you?"

"I need to speak with Mr. and Mrs. Upland."

"Lord and Lady Upland are exceedingly busy and are not available at the moment."

"Please, it's very important."

"Yes, and so is every other issue brought to them."

The butler began to close the door, and I realized that my window of opportunity was rapidly closing.

"I was sent by the Wizard!"

This caused the butler to pause. "Oh? The Wizard sent you, did he?"

"Yes he did. Please, this is a very sensitive subject and it needs to be brought to their attention at once."

The butler looked me over again, but for once my green skin seemed to work in my favor, convincing him that I really did work for the Wizard, which was an awful pretense, but it had to be done. He stepped back, letting me into the house.

"Who is it?" I heard a voice call. I looked up and saw an elegant woman standing at the top of the stairs. If it hadn't been for the familiar blonde hair, I never would have pegged her for Glinda's mother. There was something about her that just seemed so… stern… so unlike Glinda.

"I've been sent by the Wizard to talk with you and your husband about a very important matter," I replied, beating the butler to it.

Lady Upland wrinkled her nose at the sight of me, and I supposed my clothes were a little… dirty and… bloody and… well, I'd been traveling!

"Help our guest… clean up a little, and then show her into the den."

The butler nodded before ushering me across the entrance hall and into a small washroom, where a maid was laboring over a mountain of dresses to clean.

"Lady Upland wishes for our guest to clean up before being shown into the den," the butler said before leaving.

The maid looked at me tiredly before saying, "Give me your clothes then."

"O-oh no, you don't have to wash these."

"But if Lady Upland said—"

"Lady Upland can learn to live with my attire. I am here on the Wizard's business; this is not a social visit."

The maid looked slightly surprised, but wouldn't let me leave until she'd cleaned my boots and taken my cloak and hat to wash. I brushed my hair and replaced the tight braid before I left, following the butler to the den.

I took one look around and almost ran away, ready to retch at the sight. The room was decorated with animals… at least I hoped they were. Deer heads on the walls… a tiger skin rug… a tall stuffed bear in the corner and… I can't go on. It was all too horrible. I didn't even want to sit on the furry couch, afraid of what poor animal I'd be sitting on.

"Hello!"

The voice boomed so loudly in the small space that I jumped, turning to look with a racing heart.

"I hear the Wizard sent you," Lord Upland said, offering me his hand. "Highmuster Arduenna."

"Uh… Fae. My name is… Fae," I said, taking his hand. He shook mine so vigorously that my glasses threatened to dance right off my nose. I wondered if he remembered me from the summer gala. I sincerely hoped he didn't.

"Fae? That's an interesting name. Sounds Vinkan."

"It's… Munchin."

"Ah, Munchkins. Good people, they do just fine by me. So, Fae, care for a drink?" he asked, finally releasing my hand and moving to his desk, picking up a glass flask and opening it. "A cigar, perhaps?"

"Oh, no thank you sir," I replied, fixing my glasses. "Sir, what I have to discuss really is of great importance."

"Of course, it must be if the Wizard himself sent you. As soon as my wife arrives, we can begin. Please, sit."

As much as I didn't want to, I sat gingerly on the couch, while Glinda's father sat in a chair that looked as though it had been made from a rhino, a glass of brandy in his hand. So far, if he knew who I really was, he wasn't letting on.

"Is this what people in the Emerald City are doing now? Dying their skin to match our wonderful wizard's tastes?" Lady Upland asked as she swept into the room, the closing door almost catching the impossibly long train of her dress, which I soon realized was made from a snow leopard. Dear Oz, these people! I was only glad I loved Glinda as much as I did, and before I'd met her parents.

"N-no… I, uh… I was born this way," I replied, standing to shake her hand, but Lady Upland ignored me, sitting delicately in a zebra chair. I sat back down, well past unsettled.

"So, what does the Wizard have to say?" Mr. Upland asked.

The Wizard… oh, right!

"He… he's curious about the… living dues on the Animals."

"What about them?"

"Well… the numbers… they don't exactly… make as much sense as he'd like."

"In what manner?"

This was getting complicated.

"Take Frottica for example. The dues here seem rather small compared to, oh say… Settica, or even Wittica."

"Well of course," Lady Upland said, her outstretched hand soon receiving a glass of wine. "There isn't an Animal left in Frottica."

"Now, my dear, let's not be so harsh. The living dues of Frottica were much too high for them to afford, so we offered lower rates in the lower parts of the Gillikin, for their own benefit of course."

"Of course," I said, almost through clenched teeth. "So I'll just report back that the dues are simply too high here for any Animal to live comfortably." I stood, almost too quickly. "Thank you very much for your time."

* * *

Never in my life did I ever think I'd be so happy to be on a train out of the Uplands. True, it would only take me back to Dixxi House, but still, it would be away from that… slaughterhouse! Oz, how could those… monsters have given birth to such an amazing person? How could Glinda have grown up to be the woman she was raised by… them? It just… defied all logic!

Speaking of Glinda, I was curious as to if she'd deciphered my letter yet. I decided that a trip to Neverdale wouldn't hurt, and it would kill about a week in travel time.

"Good afternoon. How may I help you?"

"I was wondering if any letters had come in for Fae?"

The woman behind the counter turned and rifled through a few shelves before turning back to me. My heart fluttered a little at the sight of the envelope in her hand. I handed over the money, taking the letter and going outside to sit under an apple blossom tree.

_Fae,_

_I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. You know you don't have to thank me; you deserved a vacation. As for the People you mentioned coming across: well, of course they're different. Things change over time, though not always for the better I suppose. Still, no sense in being pessimistic right?_

_As for my roommate, she's faring, stubborn as ever. She really does miss her mother, and wishes she hadn't just left the way she did. But, as I've told her before, some things just can't be helped._

_I do hope we can catch up in person sometime soon, but after I graduate of course. I've been so busy with my sorcery classes that I've barely had any time to myself! Still, I miss you… and I know you love to travel, but please… just stay safe._

_Your cousin,_

_Glinda_

I knew it… I knew she'd understand what I meant. My heart leapt at the news that she was all right. Perhaps a little upset… but she was safe. Still… the end of that first paragraph told me that she didn't fully understand the extent of what I was trying to say, but that wasn't terrible. Perhaps the less she knew of this, the better.

"Are you Fae?"

Uh oh. I didn't like the sound of that tone. I looked up to see two stern men looking down at me.

"That depends on if she's in trouble or not," I replied, stuffing the letter into my pocket.

"Lord and Lady Upland would like a word with you."

Shit. They found out. They found out I didn't really work for the Wizard. Oh, this was bad.

"O-of course." I stood and began walking with the two men, my brain racing. How was I going to get out of this? As we crossed a small bridge over a drying riverbed, I decided it was now or never. I rammed into one of the men, knocking him over the side. The other grabbed me, but I turned harshly out of his grasp before running. I could hear them coming after me as I fled down the cobblestone path. As I glanced back over my shoulder, my boot caught a loose stone and I fell to the ground, my glasses flying off my face. I groped around wildly for them, close to hyperventilating.

A sudden movement of air above me, and then a tremendous roar. I grabbed my glasses and quickly shoved them back on my face before turning, my gaze falling on the furry backside of a lion. The men themselves were retreating, casting glares back at me. The lion turned to look at me with his honey-orange eyes and I gazed into them, transfixed.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"I… I'm fine… thank you," I said. I stood up, brushing myself off. "Why… why did you save me?"

"Because you saved me first."

Now I knew why he seemed familiar. "You're that Lion cub… the one from Dr. Nikidik's class. But wait… you were only a cub then… how…?"

"I don't quite understand it myself… but news of you is spreading. You must come with me… there are others eager to meet you."

"O-others?" Well, I didn't know how this boded, but in any case, I'd rather take my chances with the Animals than with any of the Upland's men.

Though I had protested, Brr had insisted, and that was how I found myself riding on his back as he ran through the forest. I clung to his fur, trying not to hold too hard and hurt him.

"Where are we going?" I asked, hoping to be heard over the rushing wind.

"The Dragon Cupboard."

I paused before saying, "But that's across Munchkinland."

"Yes, it will be about a week's journey, perhaps longer."

"You needn't carry me the whole way."

Brr chuckled. "You weigh practically nothing, Fae. It is no trouble."

So he thought my name was Fae too. I figured that for the time being, it would probably be best to keep the façade up, and not use my real name.

* * *

Traveling across Oz on the back of a Lion was a new experience for me, but I enjoyed the feeling of freedom it brought. It was like riding my broom; no confining carriage walls or jarring bumps in the road. During the nights, we'd stop briefly, and I'd sleep against Brr, who made a surprisingly soothing pillow.

When we did finally reach Munchkinland, about four days had passed. We would have continued on, had we not passed my home… or, at least where it had been.

"Wait," I said, sliding off Brr's back. I approached the pile of burnt rubble, not wanting to believe it had been mine.

"The home of Frexspar the Godly," Brr said.

"What… what happened?"

"It was the night of the Clock of the Time Dragon… a large crowd had gathered, and Frexspar tried to preach to them. They turned against him… beat him and left him in the Corn Basket before they came here, burning down his home, for they believed his son to be inside."

"Shell?" I said before I could stop, turning to look at Brr. "Was… was the child inside?"

"No body had been found. I assume he managed to escape."

"That… that's good. He was innocent…"

"The innocence of a child. But tell me: did you know Frexspar and his family?"

"Yes… I went to school with his… daughter."

Brr seemed to sense my uneasiness because we turned in a little earlier that night, and as I fell asleep against him, I felt his nose brush across my forehead, almost like a gentle hand, helping to lull me into sleep.

A few more days and we came upon the Dragon Cupboard. I slid off Brr as we approached a small, unmarked building. The Lion pushed the door open with his nose before entering, and I followed close behind.

The building was dark, and we had barely made it inside the room before the door was slammed shut behind us. I felt grab me from behind and force me to my knees before I could even begin to think about fighting back. A lamp was lit and I found myself looking at a small congregation of Animals.

"You brought a human among us. Why?" a Tiger asked.

"This is Fae, the one we have heard rumors about," Brr growled in reply, never leaving my side.

"The human who was present during the Goat's murder?" an Ape said.

"Yes, I was there when Dr. Dillamond was murdered, and I fully intend to end the Wizard's oppression on your kind," I said, finding my voice. I would not allow myself to go unheard.

"We don't need help from your kind, the very kind that began this oppression," the Tiger said. He seemed to be the leader.

"I think you do, seeing as I am allowed to walk freely in the streets, while you are forced to hide underground."

"You don't exactly blend in," the Tiger growled.

"But I am human nonetheless. Please… I understand this is more than you can bear. I appealed to the Wizard, and he snubbed me as well. I only want to help…"

A few tense moments passed before I was released. Brr helped me to my feet, his head under my arm.

"You want to help us?" the Tiger said. He leaned forward, his yellow eyes boring into mine. "Prove it."

* * *

_It would appear that I've finally found the underground congregation of Animals. A Tiger seems to be their leader, but he doesn't seem terribly willing to accept me… or "my kind". Where did we go wrong? Why must our two species be considered so different? This is what Dr. Dillamond had been close to discovering… and he'd been killed for it._

_I will continue his work. I will finish it. And I will bring down the Wonderful Wizard of Oz._


	21. Entry 21

Two years can be a long time… and even though I was doing my part for the Animals to help pass the time, without Glinda… Oh, of course I could regale you with tales of the tasks I did for the Animals, but it would only bore you. Eventually, they all began to trust and accept me… except for the Tiger. He was ever suspicious of me, but I couldn't really blame him I suppose.

"You want to leave?"

"Not leave. I just want… a break."

"A break?" The Tiger raised an eyebrow. "We don't take breaks; you know this. The Wizard does not take breaks. The oppression does not take breaks."

"I have been nothing but faithful to this organization, and I don't intend to just pack up and leave. All I'm asking is a few days to go and watch my… someone I care for graduate from Shiz University."

The Tiger paused, a low rumbling in his throat as he mulled over what I said. He scratched the fur under his neck lazily, and I knew this was his way of testing my patience. It was something I'd been experiencing for these two years, and surprisingly, it had actually worked.

Finally, the Tiger looked at me with his yellow eyes. "A few days only."

* * *

"Glinda Arduenna Upland."

I turned my attention back to the ceremony just as I heard Glinda's name being called. I smiled slightly as I watched her ascend the small platform to shake Morrible's hand and take her diploma. Still… I could tell that her smile was forced, and it caused the feeling of guilt I had to grow. I wish things could have been different… I wish I could have stayed…

After the ceremony was over, I slipped back into our old room through the window. I was somewhat surprised to see that my side of the room had remained completely unchanged. My dresses still hung limply in the closet… my thin brown blanket still lie on my bed. The only difference was that it appeared as though Glinda hadn't slept in her own bed for quite some time, as the pink comforter had gathered quite a layer of dust.

I heard the door unlock and I straightened up as my girlfriend entered. She paused when she saw me, her sapphire eyes widening slightly.

"Glinda…" I approached her, not quite sure what to say.

"Do I know you?" the blonde said, moving past me to her closet.

I turned, watching her. "Come on, Glin. You know that's not going to work on me."

"Look, I don't know who you are or how you got into my room, but I'm packing up to leave, so I would appreciate it if you let yourself out," Glinda said as she began taking dresses off their hangers. It felt as though it had been an eternity since I'd watched her hang all those up our first day… had four years really passed?

"Glinda, stop fooling around. I've come to get you out of here. Now that you're graduated, Morrible doesn't have a hold over you anymore and we can—"

"Please… you're wasting your breath. You should just go."

This was getting old… and slightly concerning. What if Morrible had… done something to her to force her to forget? I approached her and spun the blonde to face me. "Glinda, stop it. It's me, Elphaba. I came back, like I promised."

"I don't—"

"You look me dead in the eyes and tell me you don't remember who I am."

The blonde opened her mouth before she burst into tears, falling against me. "Oh, Elphie!"

I held her close, kissing the top of her head. "I'm here my sweet."

"I was so scared… all the time you were gone… your letters kept me sane."

"I could say the same about you. But I'm here now, and we have to go."

"I… I don't know if I can Elphie."

"Look, we'll get away. You have no more ties to this school, and Morrible can't control you anymore."

Glinda was about to reply when the door suddenly opened. "Glinda, do you need any help packing?"

Before I could hide, my gaze fell on my sister… at least, I was pretty sure that's who it was. The fact that she was STANDING on her own kind of threw me off.

"Elphaba?" Nessa said, approaching me cautiously, as if I were some malign spirit

"Nessa… you can stand?"

My sister's reply was to slap me across the face.

"OW! What was that for?"

"THAT was for leaving the way you did AND for never writing to me!"

"Oh, Nessie… I wanted to, believe me I did, but I couldn't risk Morrible doing something to you if she discovered you and I had contact."

My sister didn't look satisfied, and crossed her arms, looking away. "You didn't seem to have a problem writing to your girlfriend."

I looked at the blonde, but she refused to return my gaze, instead choosing to look at the floor. "You… you know about that…"

"More or less. You should have told me."

"Why? So you could have a panic attack and tell me how my non-existent soul would be condemned to burn in eternal torment?"

"I wouldn't have—"

"Don't tell me you wouldn't have! I know you, Nessa; you're just like Father! Obsessed with lost causes and too narrow-minded to accept anything else! Well, that got him in trouble more than once, so ask yourself: is that the kind of life you want too?"

"I am not a child anymore, Elphaba, and I don't need to be lectured by you of all people!"

"Staying here would have been the worst decision I could have made, so I'm sorry that doing the right thing meant I had to leave you, but damnit Nessa, you said it yourself: you're not as child! You didn't need me here!"

"Well maybe I still wanted you here anyway as my friend!"

We stood, two siblings trying to come to terms with the passage of two years. Finally, I sighed and said, "Nessa, please… I really am sorry. This whole time… I was trying to look out for both of you… trust me, it wasn't easy… I wanted to be here so badly."

"We know you did, Elphie," Glinda said, placing a hand on my arm. "Please, you can't blame only yourself… I drove you away as well."

I looked at the blonde; there were so many things I wanted to tell her… but would she even go with me? Everything was so complicated now…

"Glinda… I—" Before I could continue, familiar footsteps caught my attention.

"Morrible!" Nessa hissed. "You have to hide!" My sister grabbed my arm and pushed me through the adjacent door into her room, slamming it just as the door to Glinda's room was opened.

I regained myself before I moved against the door, hoping to eavesdrop on the others. I hadn't seen Morrible in two years, and had only gleaned some facts through rumors. If she was planning something, I needed to know.

"Oh Miss Glinda, I must say, these four years have really flown by," I heard Morrible say. "You have matured into quite the woman."

"Thank you…"

"I am sorry to see you go, my dear, and I hope you will stay in touch over the summer. Don't forget what we discussed."

"Of course…"

I could hear the uneasiness in Glinda's voice, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to burst through the door and take Morrible out, but I had to stay off her radar… for the time being, of course.

"And of course, I look forward to seeing you for one more year, Miss Nessarose. Thanks to Miss Glinda's little spell, you'll be able to take care of yourself."

"Yes, I am grateful for the freedom from my chair."

A pause, and then, "I'm sure we all wish Miss Elphaba could be here as well…"

I froze. Did she know I was here? Was she taunting me? I would have thought for sure my old headmistress would have done everything to eradicate me from memory.

I heard receding footsteps, and a few moments later, there was a gentle knock on the door.

"You can't stay," Nessa said as I entered.

"Neither can you. I'm taking you both with me."

"Elphaba—"

"Please don't try to fight me!" I looked at Nessa. "Our home is gone, Nessie. I saw the burnt remains two years ago… where will you go?"

"I'll stay at Shiz… just like before," Nessa said, straightening up and never letting her pride waver.

"With that old fish? I don't think so. I won't let her get to you."

"She hasn't yet, and she won't. My faith in the Unnamed God cannot by swayed or shaken, so I refuse to believe in the things she tells me."

I wasn't particularly in the mood to argue with my sister, so I turned my attention to Glinda. "Come on, Glin, we're getting out of here," I said, taking her hand and started for the window, fully intent on pulling her out onto my broom with me.

"Elphaba… I want to go home."

This caused me to pause and look back at her. "Home? As in… the Gillikin home?"

The blonde nodded, her lip trembling to hold back tears. "Morrible never let me leave for the summers or breaks… I haven't seen my parents in years, Elphaba. I want to go home…"

I sighed, wanting to protest, but I didn't. The truth was I'd give Glinda anything she wanted… especially now that I finally had her back. There wasn't any length I wouldn't go to for her...

"All right… I'll take you home."

* * *

"I told you, I didn't want to take the train," I growled at Glinda as was sat down in our seats.

"You could have flown to the Gillikin and met me there," Glinda replied.

I crossed my arms. "But… that would have meant… leaving you."

The blonde smiled, taking my hand gently. "Oh Elphie… you really did miss me."

"Of course I did. Not a day went by that I didn't think of you." I grasped her hand. "I love you Glinda."

The blonde's smile faltered the tiniest bit. "Yes…"

An odd reaction. I would have pressed on it further, but at that moment, Glinda pulled her hand away, folding it neatly with her other in her lap as she said, "So, what have you been doing all this time besides riding around on that filthy thing?"

"I'll have you know that I keep my broom in pristine condition," I replied, placing a hand on my broom when it bucked slightly. It was a tad sensitive, after all. "And you know I can't exactly tell you everything… it's highly sensitive information."

A silence passed between us before Glinda asked, "Did you find them? The Animals?"

I nodded. "I've been… under their employment for the time I was gone."

"And?"

"It's been… slow thus far, but we're getting there."

"Where is 'there', Elphie?"

"Glinda… if I tell you, I put you at risk, and what kind of girlfriend would I be if I did that?"

"Yes… I understand," Glinda said, but her smile was somewhat forced. Again, slightly odd, but I assumed it was because she'd spent too long under Morrible's control. After enough time had passed, things would go back to normal… I hoped.

* * *

It wasn't until we were actually standing outside the estate that I remembered why I had been avoiding this area: two years ago, I'd told these people I worked for the Wizard, and they knew I had lied. Hence, I was not looking forward to another visit with them.

"Glinda, maybe it's better if you go alone for now… I-I'm sure your family would much rather see you than me," I said, taking a step back.

"Elphie, come on, I'm sure they won't mind. They've met you before," Glinda said, grabbing my wrist and starting to pull me towards the mansion.

"Glinda, please, I can't… I don't think that I should—"

"Elphaba, you're being ridiculous, come on."

"No, wait—"

The blonde knocked on the door, which was soon opened, but not by the same butler who'd opened it for me those two years ago.

"M-Miss Glinda!" he said, sounding almost surprised. "You're home!"

"Hello," the blonde said, walking through the door and pulling me with her. "Please tell my parents I've arrived."

"Of course." The butler scurried off and Glinda removed her gloves.

"Glin, there's something I need to tell you, s-something I should have told you earlier—" I started, hoping to avoid this very moment.

"Galinda, you've actually come home!"

I cringed at the voice. Damn. It was too late.

"Popsicle!" Glinda said happily, running to him for an embrace.

"Galinda, ladies don't run," Lady Upland said as she descended the stairs. I noticed that today she had decided to don an elegant gown, but accented it with a sort of scarf made from what appeared to be an otter.

The younger blonde straightened up. "Yes Mother."

I had been hoping to use this distraction to my advantage, slowly making my way back towards the front door.

"Ah, and you brought your friend. So good to see you again, Fae," Mr. Upland said.

I froze, caught.

"Elphaba Thropp," Lady Upland almost spat, her neck seeming to tighten when my name left her lips.

"Now, my dear, our guest may go by whatever name she chooses," Mr. Upland said.

"Well, of course there's nothing wrong with that, but what I want to know is if she's really who she says she is." Lady Upland approached me, leaning in closer than I wanted her to be. I leaned back with a slight wince. "Do you work for the Wizard, Miss Thropp?"

I didn't want to say yes; I didn't want anything to do with the Wizard, especially not now.

"Oh Elphaba, you did it again," Glinda said. We both looked at her. "You kept telling people you worked for the Wizard, when really you were just an intern for that one semester."

Lady Upland moved away from me, and I couldn't tell if she believed her daughter or not, though I had to admit, I was grateful for Glinda swooping in to my rescue.

"Full of ambition! What an honor to work for the Wizard!" Mr. Upland said.

Dear Oz, did this man disagree with nothing? "It was… an experience," I said.

"Come on, Elphie. Let's freshen up before dinner," Glinda said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up the stairs, which felt like a forbidden area.

"Glinda, please, this is what I wanted to tell you—"

"So you work for the Wizard now?" Glinda said, closing the door to her room once we entered.

"No, of course not. Look, it's like I told you in my first letter: my search led me here, and I had to lie to your parents for information."

"You're lucky they didn't find out the truth."

I grabbed her by her hips as she made to pass me again, pulling her close. "Well, then I thank you for saving me." I leaned down to kiss her.

"Not right now, Elphaba. We have to get ready for dinner," Glinda said, pushing my hands away and moving to her closet. That was odd. Come to think of it, Glinda had been acting odd ever since the train ride here. Was… was it me? I had assumed things were the same between us… were they not?

"I hate to disappoint you, my sweet, but I haven't a change of clothes," I said, going to the closet and leaning against the doorframe.

Glinda poked her head out from behind some dresses. "You can't wear that!"

"This is all I have."

The blonde made a face before she approached me, pulling my black hat off. "This needs to go first," she said, tossing it out the door and onto the bed.

"I like that hat."

"It's dirty, and looks worn. It won't match your outfit at all."

"My outfit?"

"The dress you're going to be wearing tonight of course." The blonde started looking through her dresses, a look of deep concentration on her face. I smiled slightly; I recognized that look from Shiz. That was my Glinda.

"Hey," I said. The blonde looked at me. "I missed you."

Glinda smiled slightly. "I missed you too Elphie."

* * *

The dining table was much larger than I remembered it being, and the fact that we were all seated on different sides didn't help. Glinda's parents sat at the heads of the table, and I sat on the west side across from my blonde counterpart. The dinner being served that night was foie gras, or in other words, some poor fowl's liver. The sight made me feel ill, so I turned my attention to eating my salad as slow as humanly possible.

"So, Glinda, have you given any thought to what you want to do now?" Mr. Upland asked. He didn't seem shy about eating, unlike his wife, who was taking such small bites that it seemed impossible for her to finish before midnight.

"I… not really," Glinda replied, looking down at her plate.

"I thought we discussed this, dear," Lady Upland said, wiping her mouth delicately with a napkin. "You wanted to get married."

I gripped my fork tightly at that, and forced my gaze to remain on a particularly dark leaf.

"W-well, I mean… I had some time to think…" Glinda started.

"You don't wish to marry?"

"My dear, why so quick to marry our daughter off? She has a degree in sorcery; let her put her skills to use before she commits to a man," Mr. Upland said.

"But if she doesn't marry now, while she's still young and desirable, then no man will want her later on."

How could her parents do that? Talk about Glinda like she wasn't even here? I looked up at the blonde, who was looking down at her plate, both hands in her lap. Before I could stop myself, I set my fork down with more force than necessary.

"I think that Glinda will always be desirable, and if no man can see that, then he doesn't deserve her hand in marriage," I said.

Glinda's parents looked at me, as if they had just realized I was there.

"That's quite a compliment, Miss Thropp, but I don't know if you're familiar with such matters… bring as you are," Lady Upland said.

"My dear—" Mr. Upland started, but I'd had enough.

"Being as I am? You mean the next Eminent Thropp? Or maybe you are referring to my green, is that it? I see you are too shallow to see past outward appearances."

"Elphaba—" Glinda pleaded, wanting me to stand down, I'm sure, but I would not allow such insults to the woman I loved.

"Miss Thropp, you are guest I our home, so you would do well to—"

"To hold my tongue? To sit here and watch you degrade your own daughter? I won't!" I stood up. "I may not believe in the Unnamed God, but I do believe that people like you get what's coming to them… and I sincerely hope you do." I turned on my heel and stalked from the room, fully intent in heading back to the Dragon Cupboard tonight.

"Elphaba!" I heard Glinda call, and then she was behind me, grabbing my arm.

"I can't stay here, not with these… murderers!" I said.

"Elphaba, I realize they can be harsh, but that's just how they are and—wait… what?"

"Your parents… they…. I can't, I can't say it." I turned away and started up the stairs.

"Elphaba please talk to me!"

"I have to go."

"Go?"

"This was not meant to be an extended stay."

"No! You are NOT leaving me again!"

We had reached Glinda's room and I picked up my things, turning to see that the blonde was blocking the door. "Glinda—"

"I lost you once when you were shot… and then for a brief moment, I had you again, only to lose you for two years! Now I have you again, and I will NOT just let you walk out!"

"I can't stay here, not with them!"

"I'll talk to them, please Elphie!"

I sighed, approaching the blonde and cupping her face gently. Glinda leaned into my hand, placing her own over it. Oz, how I'd missed this face... the feel of her skin…

"Glinda… I love you… so much that it hurts… but I can't stay, and it isn't just because of your parents. I must return to my… previous engagements."

"Please… just tonight then…"

I sighed again; how could I say no to something I wanted just as badly? "All right… I will stay tonight, my sweet."

Compared to my sleeping arrangements from the past two years, Glinda's bed was far beyond comfort. The minute I sat on it, I felt myself sink down a good few inches.

"Help, I'm drowning!" I called to the blonde.

Glinda gave me a look as she approached, running a brush through her golden curls. "Stop it. It is not that bad."

"I'm gone!" I said, pulling the sheets over my head.

The blonde giggled and I felt a sudden weight on top of me. I let out a grunt. "There seems to be a lump on my bed," I heard her say.

"Is that what you think about me? A lump?"

The sheet was pulled back and Glinda's lips were against mine. "A beautiful lump."

I smiled slightly before I wrapped my arms around her, switching our positions so I was over her. "I really did miss you, my sweet. Every day I thought about you… and it took all my willpower not to come running back."

"Thank you, Elphie."

Thank you? That was an odd reply. However, I ignored it as I leaned down to kiss the blonde, reaching to undo the ties that held the front of her nightgown together.

"Mmm… Elphie… my parents…"

"We locked the door; they won't come in," I breathed as I moved to kiss the blonde's neck.

I heard her moan softly. "We… can't."

"It's been two years, but I haven't forgotten anything."

"Elphaba…" Glinda had her hands on my arms and pushed me away gently.

I looked down at her, thoroughly confused now. "What's wrong? Did I… do something to upset you?"

Glinda shook her head. "No… it isn't you Elphie."

"Then tell me what."

"I… I'm just tired… and I don't really want to talk about it… please."

I sighed, but I would never force Glinda into anything, so I rolled to the side, readjusting the pillow under my head. "All right, my sweet. I… I'm sorry."

"No… I'm sorry Elphie," Glinda said, clutching to me. I wrapped my arms around her, extinguishing the lamp before drifting off to sleep with her.

* * *

In the middle of the night, a nudge on my arm woke me. I mumbled sleepily, brushing at whatever it was before I began to drift off again.

Another nudge. "Fae… wake up."

I rolled over and found myself face-to-face with a pair of honey orange eyes. I would have jumped, had those eyes not been so familiar. "Brr? How did you—"

"No time for explanations. We must go quickly."

"Now?"

"He isn't very happy with you."

"I asked for a few days, and he agreed."

"Well, time is up, my friend."

"Nnn… Elphie?" Glinda said sleepily.

"Shh… go back to sleep, my sweet," I whispered, stroking her face gently. The blonde smiled before closing her eyes and pulling herself closer to me. I looked back at Brr. "I can't leave now."

"You know I have no control over this; if I did, I would allow you to stay, but you simply cannot."

"Brr, please, I am asking you as my friend: please, _please_ let me stay until morning."

The Lion sighed. "Morning only."

"Thank you…" I hugged him around his neck before I turned back to the blonde, pulling her into my arms once more, knowing that this could very well be the last time.

* * *

I tried not to wake too early the next morning, hoping to prolong my stay as long as I could. The sunlight was filtering through the window, falling on the blonde in just the right way and making her even cuter than usual. Of course, because this couldn't be easy. I sat up, stretching.

"Mmm… stop moving…" Glinda muttered, clinging to me tighter.

I smiled slightly. "Good morning to you too. How are you this mor—"

"Nessie, lie back down."

I froze. Nessie? As in my SISTER Nessie? I looked down at the blonde, unsure of how to react. "Glinda… wake up."

The blonde opened her eyes, which soon widened at the sight of green. "E-Elphaba…"

"Care to explain the mix-up?"

"I… I don't…"

"You called me Nessa…"

"Well… she's your sister… you two look alike…"

"I'm green, Glinda! The only way you would mix her up with me is if you two had slept toge—" I paused, realization hitting. "Oh Oz… that's why you've been acting so odd! You slept with my sister, didn't you?"

"Elphaba, please, listen to me!"

"Oh, I'd love to hear the explanation for THIS!"

"It was an accident! It was about a year after you left… and I missed you so badly. Nessa… after I enchanted her slippers, she was so happy and we… I don't know… she was the closest thing I had to you."

"Stop. Just stop it." I got up, storming to change into my clothes and grab my bag and broom, placing my hat on my head. "You didn't miss me… and you don't love me."

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!"

"You would have waited! I missed you too, Glinda, but I didn't seek someone out!"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Glinda, at this moment, I don't care." I left the room, starting down the stairs.

"Elphaba!" I heard Glinda chasing after me. "Elphaba, wait, please!" She grabbed my arm. "I'm sorry! Believe me, I am! I wish this had never happened! Please… don't go… don't leave me."

I pulled my arm away, refusing to look at her. "I wish so too… but it's been done. Maybe someday… we'll be ready for each other again…"

"Elphaba…"

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. Goodbye… my…" I couldn't finish, so instead, I walked out the door, leaving the woman I had loved behind yet again.


	22. Entry 22

I didn't like leaving as angry as I did, but what else could I do? The woman I had loved had… with my sister no less… and Nessa… why hadn't she… it went against everything our Father had preached to us, and she lived on his words. So why would she… thinking about it only made me angrier and more upset.

"Something is… troubling you?" Brr asked as he strode beside me.

"Just… relationships… things would be so much easier if I could just detach myself from feelings and others."

"Mmm… perhaps yes and no. After all, having feelings and emotions are what define our consciousness."

"They are also what makes us weak, and leaves us vulnerable to the cruelty of the world."

"It would seem you are rather bitter."

I sighed. "I apologize Brr… I just… things have changed so much in two years… and I'm trying to grasp… what's happened."

"Yes… I wish there was something I could say to help ease your pain, but I am afraid to say that I cannot."

"It's all right…" Of course, it wasn't all right, but I couldn't show Brr how devastated I was. I had to detach myself from all my emotions, or I'd never be able to resume my duty to the Animals. Glinda had betrayed me, and that was that. There was no use crying over it now; it was time to move on.

A nudge against my leg drew me from my thoughts and I looked down to see that it was Brr. I was about to question it when he did it again, this time pushing me towards a smaller building.

"What?" I asked.

"I am going to help you before we return."

"Brr, really, I'm fine-"

"No Fae you're not." He pushed me through the door and I found myself in a small bar.

"This is your solution? Alcohol?" I said, looking at the Lion.

"Perhaps a relaxant," Brr said, giving me another nudge.

"All right, I'm going." I sat down at the bar, but I didn't really have any intention of ordering anything. Getting drunk would not be a very good solution to this problem, and it would probably only make everything worse.

A glass of emerald liquid was suddenly placed in front of me, and I looked at the bartender, confused. "I didn't order this."

"No, but you look like you need it," a hooded person said, sliding onto the stool beside me. By their voice and figure, I assumed that they were female.

"Thank you, but I don't intend on becoming intoxicated," I said.

"Well then you're in the wrong place."

I turned away from the mystery woman, ready to leave and continue back to the Dragon Cupboard, but before I could stand, her hand shot out and caught my wrist, causing me to stop.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to make you leave."

"I would have left, regardless of your comment," I replied.

"Please… sit. It's been a while since I've tried having a decent conversation with someone who isn't a complete idiot."

I raised an eyebrow in slight question, but I sat back down. "Perhaps you could start by lowering that hood of yours."

The woman paused, almost as if she were contemplating this. After a few moments, she did as I asked, and I was hit by a strange feeling of déjà vu. This woman… why did she look so familiar? Did I know her? Was it possible I could know her? I had been gone for two years… perhaps someone from Shiz? No... she was a little too old for that.

"So something must have gone wrong for you to end up here," the woman said.

It occurred to me that I was staring, so I quickly looked down at the rings etched into the bar. "You could say that."

"I understand wanting to keep your life private from strangers… so I will go out a on a limb and guess that you are having trouble with… your… girlfriend."

I couldn't help but stare at that statement. "How…"

"You don't look like the type to date a man… and a man would have a harder time seeing past the green than a woman would. Also by your reaction, I can see that I'm right." She took a sip from her drink. "You know, no one can ever be truly faithful."

"It was only two years… I lasted… why couldn't she?"

"Women get lonely."

"I was lonely too."

"She wasn't as strong, but let me ask you this: did she apologize? Did you have to pry the truth out of her?"

"No… it tumbled out… and she begged me to stay..."

"So why did you leave?"

"My sister…"

"Ah… yes, that does complicate things." By now, her drink was gone, and she ordered another. "Well, do you still love her?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you love her?"

"You… this has gone on long enough."

The woman turned towards me. "It's a simple question. You've answered all the others, so what's the issue? Do you love her or not?"

"I… you shouldn't be asking me this!"

"I don't understand your sudden reluctance—"

"Yes, I love Glinda! I love her more than anything, which is why this hurts so much!"

By the way the woman was looking at me (as well as others in the bar) I realized that I had raised my voice.

"Glinda Upland…" The woman nodded before she turned back to her drink. "If that is all true… then why are you still here?"

"Wh-what?"

"You love Glinda Upland… she's begging for you to stay." The woman looked me dead in the eyes, her own eyes so hauntingly familiar. "Her parents have planned to marry her off in three days. So I ask you: why are you still here… Elphaba Thropp?"

I didn't need to be told twice. I'm sure that my bar stool was still spinning by the time I was halfway down the road. I didn't know who that woman was, or how she had known all those things, but in this moment, I was glad she had been there.

"Fae! Where are you going?" Brr asked, running beside me.

"Back to Glinda! I have to tell her how I feel! That I forgive her, and I still love her!"

"Fae, wait! Think about what you're doing!"

"I have Brr, and I need to do this, before I lose her for good!"

How could I have been so stupid? To leave Glinda… so what if she had cheated on me with Nessa? It was to be expected almost; I couldn't expect her to just wait for me all that time. The blonde had never been able to cope with loneliness, and besides it had only been once. Oh, Glinda… I still love you. Please… please take me back.

A sudden weight slammed into my side and brought me to the ground. At first I thought it was Brr, and I was about to yell at him, but when I heard his familiar growl a few feet away, I knew it wasn't.

"And where do you think you're going, Fae?"

I recognized the voice of the Gorilla, and I struggled against his hold, but he was far stronger than I.

"Let her up," Brr said.

"You are already in enough trouble, Brr," the Gorilla said. The Lion backed off a step, his cowardliness showing through. The Gorilla yanked me to my feet, binding my wrists as he said, "The Tiger thought you might betray the limits of your contract."

"I wasn't, please, listen! I just need to finish one thing!" I protested.

"You are coming back to the Dragon Cupboard," he said, placing me on Brr. "Let's go."

"No, Brr, please!"

He looked down. "I am sorry, Fae…" he said before he started off.

"No!" I twisted around, trying, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Upland Estate. I had been so close… how could I lose her now? "Glinda!"

* * *

It was no surprise that I couldn't get any sort of rest during the traveling, so when I was thrown at the feet of the Tiger, I found it difficult to stagger to my feet, but I did it.

"You said you wouldn't try to run," he growled.

"I wasn't… trying to run," I managed to get out. "I had… one loose end… to tie up…"

"This is why I didn't want the help of your kind. You can't be trusted."

"I was going to come back! If you… don't let me return to the Gillikin…"

"What? What will you do, Fae? Leave? Do that, and you'll be branded a traitor, a deserter… and you know what we do to such."

My hands formed fists. I had lost enough time already! Glinda… "Please… there is a woman… she means the world to me… I have to resolve an issue with her… please."

The Tiger scratched his chin, thinking. "Oh? She is that important to you?"

"Yes."

"Show me how important."

I knew what he meant by that… and I also knew that this was about to become humiliating… but I had to do it. For Glinda… So, in front of a room of Animals, I stripped down to my bare green skin before I went down on my hands and knees in front of the Tiger. My gaze remained on the floor.

"Please… she is my world."

I could feel all their eyes on me… a human, naked and prone before them, begging. I was the symbol of their oppression, and now, I was at their mercy.

"Look me in the eyes, human."

The way he used that word, I knew it was to mock the way my kind used "animal" or "tiger". It was demeaning. I looked up into his eyes, which seemed to shine with excitement. He stood and approached me, but I could not hold his gaze, not when I was this vulnerable.

A sudden strike to my back and I was on the floor. I heard a rumbling come from the Tiger, almost as if he were laughing. A kick to the ribs sent me sprawling onto my side. This time, I knew I heard him laugh.

"That's enough… she has proven herself," Brr said.

"Silence," the Tiger said, standing over me. I expected another blow, or perhaps a beating, but it never came. "You do not fight back or cry out… she really is important to you."

I didn't reply, my gaze on the floor.

"I will give you one test… if you pass, I will allow you to finish your business with this woman. If you fail… you will die."

* * *

One test… I had always been adept when it had come to tests. Never in my life had I feared one. Nervous, always, but fear… never.

There's a first time for everything. My fist was actually shaking as I raised it to knock on the doors of the Upland Estate, and I almost couldn't go through with it. But I had to… for Glinda.

A new butler answered the door, which was a little surprising, but then again, these people didn't seem to be content with the same thing for long. He seemed hesitant to let me in, saying, "The Uplands aren't home," but I ignored him, practically running through the mansion.

"Glinda! Glinda, please answer me!" I called as I ran.

"Elphie?"

The small voice caused me reason to pause. I followed it up to the blonde's room, finding her emerging from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around herself.

"Glinda…" A huge wave of relief washed over me, and tears welled in my eyes as I closed the gap between us, pulling her close to kiss her deeply. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

"E-Elphaba…"

"I forgive you for everything. I love you too much to be away from you again, please, please forgive me."

The blonde looked ready to cry herself, and she gripped my hand tightly. "I thought… you wouldn't come back. I swear… what happened… didn't mean anything."

"I know…" I held Glinda close, feeling her clutch to me tightly.

"Elphaba… they want to marry me off… t-to some awful—"

"Shh, my sweet. It's all right… I won't let them take you."

"Please Elphie… don't let go."

"I won't… I'm right here."

Our lips met again, and Glinda pulled me back onto the bed with a soft whoosh as the blankets moved to accommodate us. And then, it was just like we were back at Shiz: two girls shielded from the cruelty of the world by ignorance. All we could see, all we knew was our love for each other, and how desperately we wanted the other to feel that love. I was once again a bespectacled outcast, lying down with my popular roommate for the first time. Surprisingly, even now, I felt that same nervousness I experienced my very first time. The fear of hurting Glinda still hung over me, and I held the blonde close, kissing her delicate skin, trying to mend the wounds I had inflicted.

Glinda was now fumbling with my clothes, and I slid out of them, kicking them to the floor. Upon looking into her eyes, I saw that same trust from our first night, and I knew that she was feeling the same rush as me. Permission granted, I pulled the towel from her body, running my hands over the paleness, and Glinda's body moved into my touch. Her skin was softer than I ever remembered… I leaned down, my lips traveling over her body. Any place I could reach, I kissed.

Meanwhile, the blonde moved underneath me, and as her hands roamed over my own body, I let out small gasps at being touched so gently. With one hand, Glinda pulled me up for a passionate kiss, and I soon felt her enter me. My heart could have exploded from happiness. Never did I think we'd ever touch each other like this again, yet my own hand found its way between her legs, and now inside her. She gasped and held me close... and her pink bubbles finally returned to my green field.

* * *

Later, when the heat had passed, and it took everything I had to hold myself above the blonde, I felt her hot breath hit my bare skin in a sigh.

"Are you all right?" I managed through my panting.

Glinda opened her eyes to look at me, smiling weakly. "Better than all right. Elphaba…" She reached up to gently run her thumb over my sharp cheekbone. "I love you… so much…"

"I love you too…" I rolled to the side, pulling Glinda into my arms and kissing the top of her head. "When you wake up… I promise… things will be better."

"They already are…" Glinda said as she curled up against me. "I have you."

Upon waking up, my gaze fell on Glinda, who was currently getting dressed.

"Hey… why are you covering up that delicious body?" I asked, my voice laced with sleep.

The blonde looked at me, smiling warmly. She approached the bed, saying, "Well, look who decided to wake up." She leaned down, kissing me gently. "You're looking rather delicious yourself."

"Then why are forcing these bodies to part?" I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close and breathing in her scent deeply.

"Elphie," she giggled, pulling away, "I have to go. My mother set up a previous engagement."

I made a face, brushing hair from my face. "It better not be THAT type of engagement."

"Of course not, silly." Glinda kissed me again. "Not now… I have you back. And as soon as I return, the four of us are going to sit down, and I'm going to tell my parents once and for all."

"About… us?"

"They will respect my decision. I am old enough to think for myself, and I know that I only want to be with you… always and forever."

I smiled, but I wished I could share the blonde's confidence. I hoped that after all this was over… she would still feel that way.

"Elphie?"

Glinda's voice pulled me from my sullen thoughts, and I looked up at her. "Hmm?"

"You seemed deep in thought."

"Yes…"

The blonde giggled again. "Some things never change apparently."

I sat up, stretching. "So am I allowed to get dressed too?"

The blonde looked at me in thought before shaking her head. "Nope. I want to know that this beautiful green skin is waiting for me when I get back."

I rolled my eyes, but said, "Fine."

"Thank you, Elphie."

We shared another passionate kiss before the blonde left, closing the door behind her. I smiled watching her before I stood, making my way into the bathroom with a yawn. Upon entering, I found a bottle on the counter with my name on it... but wait. That was my own handwriting. I picked the bottle up, smiling slightly when I recognized it as the one I used to have at Shiz. It would seem the blonde had done everything she could to keep from losing me entirely.

I opened the bottle and began washing myself, allowing my mind to wander. I thought back to the woman at the bar… I don't know what had caused her to choose me as a conversation partner, but I was glad she did. Without her, who knows if I would have returned to Glinda, which was a little depressing, I know, but after seeing what the infidelity of my mother did to my family, I—

"_Why are you still here… Elphaba Thropp?"_

I froze. Oz, how could I have not realized this before? That woman… from the bar… that was my mother! There was no other explanation! Her voice, her looks… the way she could read me so well. But… but my mother was dead! Right after Shell… so how could she… but no stranger would have been so familiar. My mother… still alive. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was probably better she hadn't said anything. Of course she recognized me- I was green after all- but she chose to keep her silence. And perhaps that was better for both of us. Who knows what kind of chaos that would have caused… so many questions I would have asked, and answers perhaps she didn't have.

That was the last time I would ever see my mother alive.

* * *

It can get rather dark once the sun sets, and I had to admit was going to be a very dark night in Oz indeed. The fire I had lit in the fireplace was the only light in the room, and I sat in a heavy leather chair, watching the flames dance. It was all a matter of waiting now… and praying that I would be forgiven.

I heard the door open and I looked towards it just as the Uplands came in. "I was wondering when you would come home."

"Miss Thropp?" Mr. Upland said, walking into the room and over to his rhino chair. "I didn't think we'd see you again."

"Why is it so dark in here?" I heard Lady Upland say as she too entered. She began to light a lamp, but I pulled a golden knife off my belt and threw it in her direction. It went through the lamp, shattering the glass and forcing her to jump back.

"We seem to have an issue with the lighting. Please, sit… and enjoy the fire."

The two looked unsure, but they sat, and when they did, I stood.

"Miss Thropp, unless you are here to apologize for your behavior during your last visit—"

"I am here on strict business, and business only," I said, looking from the fire at the couple.

"For the Wizard again?" Lady Upland said.

"No… no lies this time. I fully intend to tell you the truth…"

A few moments of silence passed, before Mr. Upland said, "And that is…?"

"The Animals. I… am an advocate for their plight… and when I discovered that this family was at the forefront of their oppression and segregation in the Gillikin… well, I have to admit, I was not pleased, especially considering the fact that I am dating your daughter."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you were going to find out eventually; you're not marrying her off, by the way, she's mine. But I digress. At first, being as naïve as I was, I thought that there was a chance I could change you… but then I saw this room… and I knew." I looked into the fire again. "Whether you believe in the Unnamed God or not… there is no salvation for you."

"Miss Thropp, what are you talking about?" Mr. Upland asked.

"I'm talking about this!" I replied, throwing my arms out to gesture to the entire room. "This… slaughter of innocent animals or Animals, it doesn't matter which! This is a crime!"

"We've done nothing illegal."

"Not by the laws you've created," I growled. "But now, I'm going to level the playing field, even if only a little." As much as I hated using my magic (I preferred it to remain dormant) I did so, watching the ropes rise from the floor to bind the Uplands to their seats.

"What is this?" Mr. Upland demanded, struggling, but Lady Upland remained calm, which perhaps only made me angrier.

"Your reign has gone on too long… even if you are the parents of the woman I love… to keep her safe… I must do this."

"What are you—"

"Oh, get it through your thick skull. She plans to kill us as revenge for the Animals," Lady Upland said. She looked at me. "Do you really think our deaths will solve anything?"

"Hopefully, it will start a process… or at least ease the oppression in the Gillikin, if only Frottica for starters."

Lady Upland shook her head. "You are being used, my dear girl."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Who sent you to kill us? Surely you aren't doing this on your own. As you said, we are the parents of the woman you love. You wouldn't take us from her unless someone was twisting your arm."

"I…" This was not going the way I had planned. "Glinda will be better off without you!"

"Oh? Did you tell her about this room, Elphaba? Did you tell her about all the poor animals we killed?"

"I didn't need to—"

"You didn't, and you knew she wouldn't believe you even if you did! That's my daughter: naïve and ignorant. We had this room before she was even born, and do you want to know else? She's been in here! As a child, she would roll around and play on this very rug. The fur of a tiger. And it never clicked in her dim blonde brain what all this was."

"Stop it!"

"Why? You know it's true. And when you kill us, do you really think she'll understand? Ignorance is bliss, Miss Thropp… why else do you think she's so happy?"

In one swift move, I took a step forward and punched her across the face. "Glinda… may not understand now… but I refuse to let you poison her brain your lies any longer! Yes, she'll be upset… but we have each other… and we will get through this… together."

"Of course… you keep telling yourself that."

I couldn't stay here. I knew that if I did, I would only lose control further. So instead, I started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Mr. Upland asked. "You let us up right now, Elphaba!"

"I wish I could sir… I wish I could say I'm sorry too… but the truth is, I cannot… so I will leave you, in the room you cherished… the room so many had to die for. You killed for this… and now you will die in what you have created." I left, closing the door behind me and locking it. I looked down, knowing that with a simple snap of my fingers, the fire would leap from the fireplace, setting the room ablaze. I could have left it at that… they didn't have to die this way.

"_If you fail… you will die."_

My path had been set… so I lit the fire… and I walked away as I let the evil burn.

* * *

They say that where there's smoke, there's fire. It's simple logic, really. Fire uses oxygen to burn, and belches out smoke as it goes along. Fire is really just a human demonized. We too take in oxygen… and leave destruction in our wake.

"Elphaba!"

I looked up at the sound of my name to see Glinda running towards me.

"Oh sweet Lurline… are you all right?" she cried, falling to her knees in front of me. Her hands ran over my face, concern washing over her features. "You're covered in soot!"

"I'm fine…"

"What happened?"

"There was… a fire… your parents…"

Glinda's eyes filled with tears as a hand went to her mouth. "No… no, Elphie…" She fell against me, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

"I'm… sorry… I didn't… want to."

"Wh-what?" Glinda looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

She had to know eventually… the sooner, the better. "Your parents… they were not the best people… they only kept up that pretense to hide who they really were."

"I… I don't…"

"Your parents were the reason the oppression of Animals began in the Gillikin. I assume the Wizard offered them something… power… wealth… in any case, they killed Animals for sport… they had to be stopped."

Glinda had moved away from me now. "Elphaba… p-please tell me you didn't…"

"I had to… I only regret… that they were your parents."

"No, no, no! Elphaba Thropp, how could you kill my parents? How could you do this me?"

"Because I love you."

"NO, you don't do this to people you love!"

"I had to… they would have killed me…"

"Who? My parents?"

"No… the people… I work for…"

Glinda covered her face with her hands. "I can't… I can't handle this… it's too much…"

I stood at this point. "Glinda, please try to understand what I've been through for you—"

"What you've been through? My parents are DEAD and YOU murdered them! Is that the only reason we had sex last night, so you could get at them?"

"No! Please, Glinda, I love you so much… I had to do this."

"No, you didn't! You could have told me about what they were doing!"

"Would you have believed me?"

"Had you the evidence, then yes!"

I tried taking her hand. "Glinda…"

The blonde yanked her hand away, turning her back to me. "Just go… I don't want to see you again."

It would have hurt less if she had reached into my chest and yanked my heart out. "B-but I—"

"Go! I don't want to see you again, Elphaba Thropp! You can't fix this!"

I reached out to touch her, to tell her how sorry I was… but she was right. I couldn't fix this. "I love you…"

* * *

"Well?"

"It's done."

"And what of your woman?"

"She and I… are no longer associated."

"Aww… and after everything you went through for her. What a pity."

I didn't reply. Nothing really mattered now. I had lost the only thing still worth living for… this time for good.

"You passed your test… and now, we will continue with our plan."

* * *

_Glinda is gone… I did what I had to in order to keep up both alive… but that wasn't enough… and nothing ever will be. I'm so sorry, Glinda… please forgive me…_

**By the way, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I know that my Galinda is reading this chapter, so being the Elphaba that I am, I ask her: will you be my Wicked valentine?**


	23. Entry 23

A saint is traditionally regarded as a person of high or holy virtue, usually postmortem. So I find it amusing that they hail her as a saint while she's still alive. If they had known her as I had in her younger days, they would have seen that she was not an inherently religious person, having only attended chapel with me once. They call her good… the epitome of goodness even… but why? What has she done that is so worthy of such a high title? Certainly nothing I've seen… but then again, I spend most of my time either on the streets, working for the Animals, or in here… the Cloister of Saint Glinda. Is there an Unnamed God? I still say no… but whenever I can, I still come here… and I pray… I pray that she'll forgive what I had to do… and that someday we'll be together again.

I have been praying for three years… and I don't think anyone is listening.

That's right. It's been three years since I murdered the parents of the woman I love… three years that have melded together due to the numbness of my own self. I feel nothing. Not pain, sorrow, guilt… oh, it hurt at first. I sobbed bitterly for nights after Glinda disowned me, so much so that I gave myself a horrible illness. I hoped desperately for it to take my life, to end the torment my heart was suffering, but no. My body had been too strong for that, and I pulled through. Glinda became a distant memory, and eventually, I hardened myself against the cruelties of the world. Never again would I allow myself to experience that pain… and so, here I am, on my knees in the Cloister of Saint Glinda, praying for her forgiveness. Perhaps that was why my body refused to succumb to the illness. Without Glinda's forgiveness, my life will remain incomplete.

The tolling of the chapel bells reached my ears, and I stood with a sigh. It was time yet again to leave. I could only pray for so long… and be ignored. As I headed out the door, I let out another sigh, pulling up the hood of my cloak. The sun was starting to set over Oz, and the buildings cast an orange tinted emerald glow onto the streets. I'm sure the effect would be dazzling on anyone who hadn't seen it, but it was nothing new to me. Nothing was impressive anymore.

"Elphaba?"

I froze. So few people called me that anymore... my own name sounded almost foreign. However, I realized that my pause, however slight, had tipped off the caller that I was indeed Elphaba, and before I could escape, a hand closed around my wrist. I kept my gaze down, saying, "You have me confused with someone else."

"Elphaba, I know it's you. Don't you remember me?"

"Please—"

"I know it's been five years, but you're still the only green woman I know. Elphaba, please… it's me, Garrett."

As much as I didn't want to, I made the mistake of looking at him. "Garrett… please… I have to go."

"Wait… it's been so long… we thought you dead. Can't we talk?"

My eyes flashed towards the setting sun. I had to get away from him… but it was obvious Garrett was not going to let me go so easily. "Tomorrow…"

"All right… I will be here." He released me and I fled, my heart racing. I had hoped to never run into my past again… but it appeared as though Fate had other plans.

* * *

True to his word, as I entered the chapel the next day, my gaze fell on Garrett, who was waiting by a small fountain. He gave me to small wave to acknowledge my presence, which I did not return. Garrett meant well, I'm sure, but I could not associate with anyone from my past. I decided that I would leave out the servants' passage, where I would be unseen. It was the only "nice" way to ignore him.

The time did come for me to leave, and out the servant passage I went, making my way through the city, occasionally throwing a glance over my shoulder, as I was accustomed to doing. Upon reaching a boarded up corn exchange, which had once served the adjacent army barracks, I pulled a key from my pocket and unlocked the door, opening it.

"Fabala!"

I turned at the name, catching myself too soon. Before I could slam the door shut, Garrett's foot was in the way.

"Are you in trouble?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"Leave me alone, please."

"You're in trouble. Let me in."

"_You're_ trouble. Stay out."

The blonde pushed on the door with his shoulder, and I fought to keep him out. I could tell he was surprised by my strength.

"Elphaba, please, you're making me into a monster. I'm not here to rob or rape you, I just don't want to be ignored."

"You do not know what it is to be ignored…" I gave up at that point, and he came stumbling in, right into the stone wall onto the opposite side. "I always remembered you to be more graceful that that."

"You make someone into a stumbling boor, and they have no choice. I can be graceful, but Elphaba, please, tell me what is going on. It's been years."

"As you pointed out yesterday. It would appear that Shiz got to you; what happened to the silent rebel without a cause?"

"You're looking well too. Do you live in this stairwell, or is there a place more homey?"

I cursed at that, not wanting to have him here, but I turned and started up the stairs covered with mouse turds and straw, hearing Garrett follow behind me. At the bend of the stairs, a white cat was waiting, curled up, though her eyes peeked through. "Malky, Malky, miaow, miaow," I said as I passed, and the feline stood, following me.

"Your familiar?"

I let out a short laugh. "I suppose I might as well be called a witch, with all the rumors going about, so why not?" In honesty, Malky was a stray I had found wandering around this building when I arrived, and she didn't seem scared by my presence, so she was my little pet, keeping me company when the nights were lonely.

We went through a pointed archway, which deposited us into a large room. Once a storeroom, I had somewhat changed it into a dwelling, and for the moment, it was the closest thing to home that I had. "Here, Malky, some milk," I said, retrieving a saucepan and filling it with milk before setting it down before the feline.

"So this is home," Garrett said, approaching the glass orb that hung under the elephant skull.

At this point, I was still setting out food for Malky, and ignoring him, but I said, "Ask me no questions, and I'll spell no lies."

"May I sit down?"

I grinned. "That's a question."

Garrett cracked a small smile as well.

"Oh well, sit for ten minutes then. Tell me: how did you turn into a sophisticate?"

"I'm still A Gillikinese underneath, and not a very good one at that."

I couldn't help but smile slightly. "Tell me about your life." I admit, I was curious. It had been so long since I'd have human contact, and with someone I was actually somewhat familiar with.

"Do you have anything to drink? Not alcohol; I'm just thirsty."

"There's no running water; I don't use it. There's milk of sorts, and Malky will drink it. Perhaps there is a bottle of ale… help yourself." I pulled said bottle off the shelf, setting it before the blonde before sitting across from him.

Garrett told me of his post Shiz life: how he had returned to the Gillkin to get married, only to be jilted by his fiancé, who did not share his beliefs in Animal rights. He had taken his studies to the Vinkus, and had run into Fiyero in doing so.

"And how is the prince?" I asked, my last memories of him being the man who had almost caused Glinda to— no. I would not remind myself of such things.

"He and his wife, Sarima, have three children. Two boys and a girl. He has changed as well, and I believe he'd like to see you too."

"He can continue to wish. But tell me, why are you here? This is a military city now, and if your intentions were strictly Animals based, why bring them here to the belly of the beast?"

"I can play coy and deceit too Elphaba. You've heard enough from me. Tell me about yourself."

Oh, how I dreaded these questions! I fidgeted with my cloak, remaining silent. I stood, moving to retrieve some fruit and dried sausage, tossing it on the table unceremoniously. I sat again, and finally said, "Eat this stuff. I'm not hungry, so you eat it."

"Tell me something. You left us at Shiz, like fog in the morning."

"Oh, you're a poet now? I've always thought poetry to be the highest form of self-deception."

"Don't change the subject."

I was agitated now. I called for Malky, only to irritate him with my sporadic pettings and sent him flying off my lap. I looked at Garrett, my fingers still twitching before I said, "Oh well this much then. But you are to _never_ come here. I don't want to move; this is too good. Promise?"

"I will consider promising until I know more."

"I was fed up with Shiz," I said hurriedly. I wanted this out as fast as possible so he would leave. "The death of Dr. Dillamond vexed me, and everybody grieved, yet no one cared. I couldn't take it anymore, with all those silly girls and Madame Morrible's ever tightening control. Though I liked Glinda well enough, how is she by the way?" Those last words tumbled out before I could stop them.

"I don't know; I haven't kept in contact. I keep expecting to run into her at some Palace reception. I hear she's engaged to some Paltos baronet."

My back stiffened at that. "Oh? Only a baronet? Not a baron or viscount at least? What a disappointment. It would seem her early promise never panned out." My comment had meant to be funny, but it seemed stiff, even to me. I don't know if Garrett knew why, but not that I much cared either way. Now that I'd started, I couldn't stop. "Is she a mother?" As much as it would hurt, I hoped yes. Glinda had always wanted a child… something I never could have given her.

"I don't know, but I'm asking the questions now, remember?"

"Yes, yes, but Palace reception?"

"My studies and association with Fiyero have helped me ascend, yes, but you, _you._ What did you cut off all contact with us?"

"I loved you too much to keep in touch."

"What does that mean?"

"Don't_ ask_ me!" I said, twitching again. I was growing increasingly restless and anxious with his presence.

"I am asking. Do you study? Do you work? You were so devoted to Animals right at Shiz. Are you a humanitarian?"

"I never use such a phrase, as humans are capable of the most heinous crimes."

"You're evading again."

"That's my job. There's a clue for you, dear Garrett."

"Amplify."

"I work underground," I said softly. "And I am still underground. You are the first to crack my anonymity since I cut off contact with Glinda five years ago. So now you see why I cannot say more. For all I know, you plan to turn me in to the Gale Force."

"Ha! Those mercenaries? Elphaba, please, you know me better than that."

"I don't know anyone anymore. And how could I know? They come marching in, tromping on the weak with the boots and terrifying with their rifles… they hold mock trials and rake over every inch of this beautiful, fake city. They harvest a crop of victims each month, and having never followed me, they could have followed you."

"You're not as hard to follow as you think. You're good, but you're not that good. I could teach you a few things."

"I'm sure, but you won't, because we will not meet again. This is what I meant; do you think the Gale Force is above torture? You and I are merely colleagues, but I will not have your death on my conscience, I won't. I will move if I think you're trailing me. I can be packed and gone in thirty seconds, my training allows for it."

"Don't do this to me."

"You and I were friend, but not especially good friends. Never again, do you hear me? It was nice to see you, but I never want to see you again. Take care of yourself and beware of high bastards."

Garrett looked offended, and he said, "At what, twenty-three, you're playing the lady rebel? It's not becoming."

"It's unbecoming," I agreed, "the perfect word for my new life. I was always unbecoming, and I am now un. But I must point out that you are the same age as me, and prancing about as… whatever it is you do. Time to say good-bye."

"We don't have to."

I looked at him, reading his face, and I knew he was thinking the same thing as me: why was this all so familiar? "You know who you are, but you can't know who I am. I mean you _can't_, it's not possible for one, and I won't allow it for the other. Now Godspeed, and that isn't a curse. Godspeed, Garrett." I handed him the cape he'd taken off upon entry, and he grabbed my hand, looking up into my face, and I realized that my hood had fallen. He was gone before I could fix it, or react, and I was left wondering how life had moved so rapidly in my absence.

* * *

"What became of Boq?"

"You just won't answer me anything about yourself, will you?"

I smiled slightly, though my back was still to him. I knew he had his boots up on my table, and I would have scolded him, but I craved outside information too much. I admit, I let him back in. Garrett was as stubborn and headstrong as I, and even though I tried to shut him out, he came bearing stories from Shiz and the outside… and for once, I gave in, and only because he'd promised to make more of an effort to look for Glinda.

"I just happen to be fond of Boq, that's all," I said, turning back to him and setting some food down.

"He married Miss Milla, of all surprises, and from his letters, she continually tries to kill herself."

"It makes me wonder what my own mother had to endure…" I said, thinking back to that day in the bar. "It's a penance, really, coming from such a life of privilege and high society."

"Like mother, like daughter. But do you allow yourself any type of privilege?"

"I remember the first time I saw you… you put me in the infirmary, you know. Did you plan that entrance?"

"Trust me, if I could have done anything else, I would have. I was both mortified and terrified. Crope and Tibbett had me convinced that I'd killed you."

"Crope and Tibbett! I'd forgotten about them. How are they?"

"Well, Tibbett was never really the same after the Philosophy Club… but I don't keep in close contact with them, as flighty as they are."

"How disapproving of you," I said with a laugh. "Well, I always wondered how the Philosophy Club turned out… in another life I'd like to see everyone again. And Glinda… dear Glinda…"

Garrett seemed to sense that he was losing me, as often happened when Glinda was mentioned, so he said, "Even Avaric?"

"Oh, him… is he still a smug boor?"

"Now you're being disapproving."

"I suppose I am." I sat and we ate in silence.

* * *

"Surely you don't spend your entire autumn in the Emerald City?" The nights were growing colder, and I closed the window, latching it shut.

"What does it matter? I have no one to go home to. I am like you, Elphaba."

I sat across from him. "And before you were like me?"

"Ah, you mean when I was engaged." A pause. "It didn't seem to matter to her whether I was home or not. We had servants and things to amuse her… which I suppose was good since my research called me from home so often. She apparently entertained herself with other men in that time…"

"Did you?"

Garrett looked at me. "Pardon?"

"Did you entertain yourself with other women? Surely being gone from your fiancé so often…"

"No, but not out of lofty moral standards. She was just shrewd, and I would have been in her thrall even more than I was."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"You're not married, so you don't know, but yes. It would have been a very bad thing."

And then it came tumbling out. "I am married, just not to a man."

Garrett's eyebrows raised and my hands flew to my face. Never had I been so shocked by words coming from my own mouth, but I realized the truth in those words. I was married, maybe not by society's standards, but I was… to Glinda. I turned away quickly.

"Oh, damn these tears, they burn like fire!" I ran to grab a blanket to dab at my eyes. It had been so long… and now it was all threatening to come pouring out. I held onto the counter for support as the blanket fell from my hand.

"Elphaba," Garrett said, coming to my side and putting his arms around me.

In a rare show of discretion, I saw Malky jump onto the windowsill and look away from us as his lips found mine… and our love affair began.

* * *

There were stretches of time when I would not allow him to visit, as I had work to conduct, and he whispered my code name "Fae" as if no one else knew. I did have rules though: he was not allowed to see me naked in the light, but since I only allowed him to come at night, this wasn't so much a problem. Even so, only one person owned my body, and therefore had the right to see it.

When he did come, I was waiting, naked under the blanket and reading some essays or another. "I don't fully understand them," I admitted. "I read them as poetry. I like the way the words sound. I don't expect my slow, slanted view of the world to change by reading them."

"Is it changing how you live?" Garrett asked, turning down the lamp as he began to slip out of his clothing.

"You think this is all new to me," I said with a sigh. "You think I am such a virgin."

"You didn't bleed the first time."

I turned the page, refusing to comment on that.

"Oh, don't be cross now," he said, sliding under the blanket next to me and gently taking my book, my only protection. "Let's be unfaithful now, I can't wait."

"I don't exist, so neither of us is being unfaithful."

His hands ran along my torso, and as always, I caught his wrists, bringing his hands back to my breasts. I would not be touched below my waist by hands… only pink bubbles were allowed to dance on this green field.

* * *

"I saw Glinda this afternoon."

I froze, almost dropping the robe that he'd bought to cover my body. Normally I would not accept such gifts, but he had insisted, and it was easier to keep up than the blanket.

"How… how was she?" I asked, forcing my voice to remain calm.

"She seemed happy… but I detected a hint of sadness. When she spoke of her husband to be… well, she didn't condemn him, but it wasn't endearment either."

"Well… marriage was her choice." My words were sharp, my temper rising at the thought of a man with Glinda.

"Fae…" Garrett was behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "You loved her, didn't you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You call out her name in your sleep."

My gaze was on the floor; I could not look at him. How could I deny the truth? I still loved Glinda. Garrett… was a distraction from my loneliness and heartache, but this was not love. I could not commit myself to this man, or any man.

"She asked about you."

"What did you say?" I asked, my breathing quickening slightly.

"I told her that your name was not one I heard often. I asked about Nessa."

"And of Nessa?"

"Glinda says that Nessa will spit in your face the next time she sees you."

I smiled slightly. "Well then, let's hope Nessa never loses her faith."

"Glinda misses you."

I stiffened at that. "Now that is a lie."

"She said it herself."

"She was the one who— she misses her roommate, her teenage friend. She does not miss this shadow of the person I was."

"Fae… don't do this to yourself. You know very well that Glinda misses you, _all_ of you."

I could not tell him the truth; I could not tell him why Glinda refused to see me… or even think of me. She wanted only to see me to punish me for what I had done.

"A fortnight," I said, finally. "I have work to be done."

"No!" His tone surprised me. "That's too long, Fae, it's not right!"

"We need it. And I don't mean you and I 'we'. I mean the other we. Obviously I can't say more, only that there will be an… episode."

"What? A bomb? An assassination? An ambush? Tell me something, anything!"

"You know I can't…"

"Are you the knife? The fuse?"

"Garrett, I am too green to walk into a public place. Guards watch me like an owl does a mouse. They expect it. I am no one important, just a… handmaiden in the shadows."

"Don't do it."

"You're selfish and a coward. You just want me to preserve my insignificant life. Come back two weeks from tonight."

"Will the action be done?"

"I don't even know what it is, or who decides, so don't ask me."

"Fae…" A pause. "Elphaba, how do you know you're not being manipulated by the Wizard, of all people?"

"You are a novice at this!" I snapped, pulling away from him to retrieve my oil bottle. "I knew when I was being manipulated by Morrible back at Shiz, and why wouldn't I know if I were being used? Give me some credit for doing this for years!"

"You don't know who the boss is or isn't."

"My father didn't know the name of his Unnamed God. It's never the who, is it, but more the why." I kept my back to him as I oiled my stomach and between my legs with a slight wince. In my many faults, when I was agitated, I became more liberal in my lovemaking, which Garrett had unfortunately discovered.

"But how do you hear? How do you know what to do?"

"Look, you know I can't say."

"I know you can."

I was tired of this game. I turned, letting my robe fall to the floor and exposing my body to him. "Come here and oil my breasts, would you?"

Even now, he blushed. "I'm not that stupidly male."

I laughed softly. "Yes you are. Come on."

Garrett approached, warming some oil between his palms before he ran his hands over my body. I felt them move lower and before I could stop them, he had reached that one muscle that pulled crookedly—

"_Elphie, you're not even…"_

"_I apologize, my sweet."_

_A giggle. "I like it… your imperfections make you perfect for me."_

"I have four companions," I said, moving in a way that was meant to discourage. "We don't know who the leader is. If I knew more, the Gale Force would capture and torture me, don't you understand?"

"What is your objective?" he breathed, his tongue following the curve of my ear.

"Kill the Wizard…"

* * *

After the heat had passed, I sat up, brushing hair from my face as I said, "You'd best be out of the city before Lurlinemas Eve."

"Why? Is all hell going to break loose?"

"Just… get out."

"I will wait here for you."

"Please don't… Garrett, please…"

"I love you, Elphaba, and that's all there is to it. I promise to be careful."

* * *

"There has a been a change of plans."

I looked at the Tiger in slight surprise. "A change?"

"Yes… it is to be your duty now."

"But I… I am to be noticed right away!"

"Do you refuse?"

I looked down. "No… I will do it."

* * *

A few days later and I was back in the Emerald City, making my way to the target. I quickly ducked in the chapel of Saint Glinda, but praying for what, I didn't know. I left a few minutes later, not caring if I was being followed. I made my way to the Goldhaven Theater, slipping in through a side entrance and starting through the crowd. I knew Morrible would be here in a few minutes. Yes, that was my target. If I were to be caught, captured, and tried, my motivation couldn't be more perfect: I was a mad student who still held a grudge.

Morrible was growling some greeting to the assembled crowd from the top of the stairs, and I drew closer, reaching inside my cloak, feeling for my golden knife. This was it… the moment of truth. Either I would kill Morrible… or die trying.

The curtain beside my old headmistress was suddenly thrown open and I outright gasped at what I saw.

"And Glinda, dear, we're happy for you."

There she was. Glinda, _my_ Glinda, dressed in a fancy emerald gown, her hair in an elegant updo. Why… why was she here? She wasn't… supposed to be. I struggled with my decision to attack. With Glinda's presence… there was the possibility of her getting hurt… and if she saw me… I took a step back. I couldn't do it. There would be repercussions for this, yes… but I would rather deal with that than risk hurting Glinda again.


	24. Entry 24

"I hear she has an extra eye that always remains awake!"

Well, _that _was flattering.

"I hear that she can shed her skin as easily as a snake!"

If I could do that, I wouldn't be green.

"I hear some rebel Animals are giving her food and shelter!"

… Okay, I accept that.

"I hear her soul is so unclean, pure water can melt her!"

How rude of them to assume I had a soul. And the water bit was concerning, of course.

"Please, somebody go and melt her!"

People loved to gossip, and it seemed that quite a bit of gossiping had taken place recently. My hand was still on the hilt of my knife, even though I had decided that would not make an attempt on Morrible's life, not with Glinda present.

"People are so empty-headed they'll believe anything!"

I knew that voice. I turned my attention to the man who had entered. He was dressed in an emerald suit that conveyed his position as a palace guard, and a captain at that.

"Fiyero…" Glinda said, her voice almost pleading. Now that Morrible had descended the stairs and was mingling, the crowd was no longer paying attention to the two. I managed to work my way up to a balcony overlooking the two, hoping to eavesdrop on their conversation. It was about me, after all.

"How can you stand here and listen to this, while smiling all the while?"

"Of course, they're awful things, but I—"

"You care more about these mindless people than the woman you love?"

Glinda turned away from him. "I'm a public figure… it's what I must do. Besides, Elphaba…"

"When are you going to let this grudge go? You weren't the only one she left behind five years ago!"

So Glinda had kept my crime secret… I wondered what that meant. Was it possible that she still…?

"You weren't there…"

Fiyero shook his head. "You can't expect her to come back to you like this. You need to get over your petty self."

"You should go home to your family, Fiyero. I'm sure they miss you."

The prince looked as though he had more to say, and his eyes suddenly flashed up towards where I was. I slid behind the curtain, hoping he hadn't seen me. He left and I stepped out slightly, looking back down at Glinda. She didn't look terribly happy, and turned away from the crowd, towards the curtain- studded entrance she'd come through. My eyes narrowed as I watched her, and I spotted tears welling in her eyes.

"_That's why I couldn't be happier. No, I couldn't be happier. Though it is, I admit the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated. But I couldn't be happier, simply couldn't be happier…_" A short, humorless laugh. "_Well - not 'simply'. 'Cause getting your dreams it's strange, but it seems a little, well, complicated. There's a kind of, a sort of a cost. There's a couple of things get lost. There are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you've crossed. And if that joy, that thrill doesn't thrill you like you think it will… still… with this perfect finale, the cheers and ballyhoo, who wouldn't be happier?_"

At this point, Glinda was trying to force a smile on her face, and something deep within my heart ached for her as I realized that she wasn't nearly as blissfully unaware to life as I thought.

"_So I couldn't be happier, because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true. Well, isn't it? Happy is what happens when your dreams come true!"_

I left. I had to. I couldn't stay and listen to her any longer… it was too detrimental to the walls I had built to keep from hurting. My failed mission weighed heavily on my mind, and I knew this was serious… I wasn't sure how the Tiger would react… he already disliked me. So I wondered… what would happen now?

"_For all this joy, we know who we've got to thank: thank goodness! That means the Wizard, Glinda—"_

"_And fiancé!"_

"_They couldn't be goodlier, she couldn't be lovelier, we couldn't be luckier!"_

"_I couldn't be happier!"_

"_Thank goodness today! Thank goodness for today_!"

* * *

Upon reaching my dwelling, I kicked a chair angrily, sending it to the floor. I placed my hands on the table, trying to calm myself down.

"You never wrote to us… not even once."

I froze at the voice, turning. "Fiyero… how did you—"

"I'm from the Vinkus. You think we don't know how to stalk prey?"

"Is that what I am now? Prey?" My eyes narrowed and I took a step back, reaching for my knife. "Have you come to arrest me?"

"Elphaba… you know me. I wouldn't do that to you." The prince approached me, reaching a hand out as if to touch me, but I flinched, looking away. "Fabala…"

"Don't call me that."

"He doesn't love you."

I looked back up at Fiyero. "I don't know what you're—"

"You think I don't know about Garrett? When I saw him last month, I thought nothing of it, until I began to see him regularly, around the same time. I followed him once or twice… and it led me here. Why him? Don't you love Glinda?"

"Don't lecture me," I said, moving away from the prince. Malky jumped from the table onto my shoulder, and I stroked her fur restlessly. "Why did you come?"

"To find out why you've been so intent on avoiding us. Why did you only let him in?"

"Fiyero, please—"

"No." He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around with a ferocity I didn't expect. Malky leapt onto the windowsill, and I was too shocked to react. "You're going to tell me why you only let him back in, and why you shut us all out! We thought you were dead, Elphaba! Glinda was devastated!"

"Don't you think I know all that? And Garrett forced his way back into my life! I didn't ask for that!"

"Do you really love him, Elphaba? Do you?"

I could not meet his gaze. I looked everywhere else that I could, hoping he'd release me, but apparently Shiz had given him patience, and I was forced to finally say, "No… he was a means to an end." It was true. I never loved Garrett. He had helped with my loneliness, but it was never love.

"Elphaba… why?"

In that moment, being in the arms of someone who commanded such a presence… someone who actually cared about me… I broke.

"No!" I cried, "I'm not a harem, I'm not a woman, and I'm not a person either." My arms seemed to move of their own accord, to pin him against the wall in an unprecedented action of love with the same ferocity he had used on me. Our lips met and our clothes littered the floor soon enough. I fell on him as he brought me down, sliding inside of me. I took him in deeper than I had Garrett, and in that moment, I realized something: this one time meant more than all the time I'd spent with Garrett. Fiyero cared… and I was surprised to find that I cared too.

* * *

The moonlight streamed through the window, falling on my face and waking me. I opened my eyes sleepily to see Fiyero returning from using the chamber pot, and I smiled, mumbling, "Yero my hero," before I slipped into sleep again.

* * *

Never did I think that I could love a man, especially not after Glinda, but Fiyero… he was different. I knew he was married, of course, but there was something about him… the way the blue diamonds on his body moved when he was over me. True, we had only done it once, but when I awoke the next morning and found him lying beside me, I couldn't help but smile, placing a hand gently on the side of his face.

His eyes opened and a smile crossed his face. "Am I dreaming?"

"If so, then we are having the same dream…"

Fiyero pulled me into his strong arms and I inhaled softly. "I don't know how you did it, Yero…"

"What?"

"Managed to break through the walls I so carefully constructed." A pause. "You must think even less of me now."

"Why would you think that?" He looked down at me.

"My… affair with Garrett… and now you… and you have a family… and through all this, my only heart's desire is…"

Fiyero put a finger to my lips, stopping me. "I understand that you love Glinda more than anything in Oz… and while I don't approve of Garrett, I don't condemn you either. I can't imagine spending five years in solitude."

"And what of you then?"

Fiyero looked away, kissing my forehead. "You won't believe me."

"Don't even try that with me."

He smiled slightly. "Of course I can't get anything past you. After Dr. Dillamond's murder… I began to think."

"You're right. I don't believe it."

He pinched my behind for that, and I let out a small yelp.

"I saw how it affected you, and I thought about that day with the lion cub… and before I could really realize what was happening… I found myself beginning to fall for you."

"Wh-what?"

"That was my reaction as well. I didn't understand how… but there was something about you. I knew you loved Glinda—"

"I still love Glinda."

"I know, and I love Sarima, yet here we are."

I looked down, knowing that he had a point. "So… what do we do now?"

"I don't know…"

There was a pause between us before I sat up, the blanket falling from my body. "I can't stay here…"

"Elphaba… what have you been doing these past five years?"

"Please don't ask… I can't go into the details."

"Does it have anything to do with your appearance yesterday?"

I didn't reply, but stood, picking up my clothes and slipping into them.

"Elphaba…"

"I'm sorry, Yero… but I can't stay… and you shouldn't either."

He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "Please be careful… Glinda still needs you."

I turned, giving him a small smile and a gentle kiss. "Thank you, Yero… I won't forget this."

* * *

It had been a while since I'd used my broom, but seeing as I had no other way to get to the Dragon Cupboard (as Brr wasn't around and I didn't want to attract attention) I had no other option. As soon as I mounted it, the broom bucked me off, throwing me to the floor.

"No, we won't be having any of that," I growled, getting up and mounting the broom again. It levitated off the floor a few inches before taking off.

As I had pointed out before, travel by broom was the fastest transportation I knew, and I arrived in the Dragon Cupboard after only a few days. Upon entering the small building, I didn't know what to expect, but when I felt a sudden shove from behind, I knew that things were not going to go well.

"She is still alive… why?"

"I couldn't… not with the other so close."

"You let your emotions get in the way… typical human."

I glared up at the Tiger angrily. "I have been faithful for five years. I could not complete my mission because of interference. This has nothing to do with my emotions."

"Don't lie. It has been about this woman ever since the death of the Uplands. Your faith is questionable, and now you failed the most important mission assigned. With Morrible still alive…" He didn't finish. "I'm afraid I have no other choice… from this moment, you are banned from our ranks."

Banned… the word struck me like a harsh slap.

"If you are ever seen associating in these areas again… you will be killed."

As I kept my gaze on the floor, it occurred to me that this was the very first time I had ever felt the urge to kill an Animal. Perhaps it was wrong… but the Tiger… he had been looking for any excuse to be rid of me, and now I had given him one. It made me angry, of course, but even more than that…

"Fine. You can banish me if you wish… but know this: I will never stop fighting. I will get to the Wizard first… and I will kill him."

The Tiger's eyes shone slightly at that, but all I received was a wave of his paw and the words, "Begone."

I stood angrily, turning and stalking from the building.

"Fae, wait!" I heard Brr call, but I didn't look back at him as I began to mount my broom. He caught my cloak in his jaws, forcing me to stop. "Fae—"

"Don't. This is what they have chosen. If I am to be banned… than so be it."

"Please… you're the only friend I have here."

I sighed, placing a hand on the side of his face. "Brr, you're a Lion. The king of the beasts. You don't need my anymore."

"But I…"

"Find your courage… and you'll be all right." I kicked off from the ground, sad that I had to leave him behind, but it couldn't be helped. Now that I was no longer allowed among the Animals, there was nothing else to do but return to the Emerald City. Oh, I couldn't just return to daily life though; Morrible had made sure of that. I would have to find a way to regroup and plan my next few moves.

* * *

Upon reaching my humble dwelling, I walked up the stairs slowly, seeing Malky curled up near the door. "Malky, miaow, miaow."

She looked up at me before standing and disappearing inside the dark storeroom. That was a little odd. I shrugged it off as I followed her, wondering why the room was so dark to begin wi—

A sudden blow to the back of my head and I was on my knees, spots dancing in front of my eyes. Hands grabbed my arms, pulling me up and restraining me. I struggled, and received a blow to the stomach to stop me. As I was gasping for air, the cloth was pulled down from the window, and I turned my head away from the sudden bright sunlight.

"Elphaba?"

I knew that voice. I looked up at the blonde in front of me almost angrily. "Garrett? It was you all this time? You lied to me!"

"Elph—Fae, no… I didn't… I thought you were…" He seemed to be struggling with his words, and it somewhat angered me that he had already used me real name, and then my code name.

The window suddenly shattered and I heard a pair of boots hit the floor solidly. There was the click of a rifle and then, "Let the green girl go!"

"Fiyero!"

It was him indeed, and he had his weapon trained on Garrett.

"You shouldn't have come here," Garrett said, glaring at him.

"Neither should you, but since we're both here, let's settle this like gentlemen and let the lady go."

Garrett looked at me, and then back at Fiyero. "What do you care? You weren't around for five years."

"I'm here now. So let her go, or explain why the leader of the Gale Force turned up with a gaping hole in his chest."

Tense seconds passed, and I feared for the life of my prince. Finally, I was released and I stumbled away, Fiyero catching me with one arm before I could fall.

"Yero—"

"Glinda still needs you… you have to go," he said, pushing me towards the door.

"But I can't leave you…"

"Go, Elphaba!"

I didn't want to leave him… I knew that Garrett would show the prince no mercy, but just as I had left Glinda in the Emerald City… I would have to leave Yero behind too. I picked up my broom and fled, almost tripping down the staircase. When I reached the bottom, I heard a dull thud, followed by a grunt and the sound of collapse. I closed my eyes, fighting to hold back tears.

Another death… because of me.

* * *

The youngest maunt was required to open the door when I rung the bell, and when she did, she found me huddled in the corner of the stone porch, wrapped tightly in my cloak.

"What is it?" I heard her ask, almost impatiently. She then added, "Good Lurlinemas, my friend."

My brain only slightly registered the greeting, as my eyes darted to scan the surroundings. The cloister of Saint Glinda was the only place I had left to go… the last safe place.

"Come with me dolly," she said, and I somehow managed to straighten up, though it had been so long since I'd taken in any type of nourishment that I was somewhat hunched over, barely able to follow the novice inside. She must have noticed the blood on my wrists, because she led me into a washroom and tried to wash it off. My deranged brain screamed at me to resist, which I did, not looking to be burned. The novice finally gave up and stead wiped it off with a dry towel, revealing my sad attempt at suicide.

I heard the beginning of antiphonal chants, and the novice looked maddened. Apparently wanting to hurry this process along, she practically dragged me to another room, which was occupied with incapacitated old cronies who apparently couldn't be carted up to the scared chapel.

"I'll sit you down here," she said, pushing me into a chair. "I don't know if you need food, or a bath, or forgiveness, or sanctuary, but you can stay dry and warm here. I'll be back after the midnight vigil. It's the Lurlinemas feast, you know."

I was hardly listening to her words, already beginning to give in to my exhaustion. I still wasn't sure how I had even managed to drag myself here.

"Look, you can see the snow outside, white and pure as the Unnamed God's grace," the novice said as she retrieved a few items, returning to me. "Here's a pillow and blanket, and a stool for your feet. We'll be upstairs singing the Unnamed God's praise. I'll pray for you."

"Don't…" I protested, my head slumping against the pillow. Even as I was, my brain registered that phrase, and I didn't want prayers for my nonexistent soul.

"It's my pleasure," she said almost aggressively, covering me with the blanket before she fled.

It didn't take long for me to slip into a dreamless, sleepless state of grief. Through my clouded mind, I heard the approach of wheels, and someone grasped my trembling hands.

"Well the poor dolly is sick," a female voice said, feeling the shallow cuts in my wrists. "The poor dolly is in pain." She continued to clutch my hands, as if she could heat and comfort me that way. "Come my precious, rest in the bosom of mad Mother Yackle. Mother Yackle will see you home."

* * *

"How is our newcomer?"

"She is hot to the touch… her body burns with illness."

I could hear them talking about me… I had been moved to a solitary bed behind a screen, but because of my illness or green, I didn't know.

"She refuses to eat or drink anything."

A pause, and then, "I will speak to her." The sound of wheels again, and the old woman was at my bedside. "I hear you are refusing care… why?"

I didn't reply, instead choosing to keep my unfocused gaze on the ceiling.

"If you came here to die, you're in wrong place, for we won't allow that."

Had I come to die in the chapel named after the woman I loved? I wasn't sure of my own intentions. She was saying something else, but I was slipping back into unconsciousness, once again haunted by memories of my past.

* * *

Darkness had fallen over Oz, and my fever plagued my dreams, turning them into nightmares. I was near delirium and I knew it, though the thought didn't scare me as much as I would have anticipated. Perhaps madness would be better…

"I heard you're giving sanctuary to a newcomer."

That voice… it was so soft… and so familiar, but that was most likely my fever talking.

"We're not sure if it's sanctuary she seeks."

"May I… see her?"

"If you wish, though she hasn't said anything since her arrival."

Soft footsteps and a figure appeared above me, one I could barely make out.

"We fear she is going, the poor dear."

A gentle hand was on the side of my face, and my tortured body flinched away from it.

"No… it is not yet her time. The Unnamed God does not call for her."

I thought I heard mutterings of a spell before I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

Sunlight streaming through the window fell on my face, waking me. I opened my eyes weakly, looking around and trying to collect my thoughts. I… I was in the cloister of Saint Glinda. Yes… I knew that… but how long had I been here?

"Oh, so you finally decided to wake up?"

I turned my attention towards the voice and saw a young maunt looking down at me.

"How… how long?"

"Don't try to speak. You've been asleep for three days now. We really did believe that you were going to the Unnamed God. The illness caused a spike in your fever, and in your sleep, you raved, though we couldn't make anything out. It was Saint Glinda who finally saved you."

"The spirit of your deity had noth—"

"Oh no. Saint Glinda was here. She healed you."

I paused, remembering the face over mine and the hand on my face. "Wait… you mean… in person? She… she came?"

"Well that's what I'm _saying_. She blessed you, and took your illness away."

Glinda… Glinda had been here? She must have recognized me then… and she healed me? Did… did that mean she forgave me? Or had she just not wanted me to die? And why didn't she stay?

The maunt set a tray in front of me, saying, "You need to eat something to regain your strength."

I looked down at the two slices of bread, accompanied by cheese, a dollop of pudding, a bunch of grapes, and a glass of milk. "Thank you…" I said before I began to eat, not realizing how truly malnourished I had been. Soon after, a new realization hit me: I had to use the bathroom. I shifted uncomfortably in the bed, looking around. The novice, who was sitting by the bed with a prayer book, noticed.

"Is something wrong?"

"Bathroom…?"

She looked a little unsettled, but she marked her page before setting the book down. "I will accompany you."

"No… I just need to be pointed in the direction of the chamber pot…" I slowly moved my legs over the side of the bed and started to stand. My legs shook and almost gave out on me, and the novice grabbed my arm.

"You're still weak…"

"I can manage."

And I did. Through some power, I was able to stumble into the small room with the chamber pot, and I leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. If I was this weak after being healed… I couldn't imagine how I would be if Glinda hadn't come along and saved me.

Slowly but surely, I finished my business and came back out, almost able to fully straighten my back. The novice helped me back into bed and even though I fought it, I slipped back into sleep.

* * *

"Now that your illness has passed and you have recovered, Mother Yackle would like to see you."

I looked up from the book I had been reading. There wasn't much in the way of literature here, so I had taken to reading essays by unionist fathers, finding that it was similar to the book I had read at Shiz. Yes, that's right. I do remember every book I've ever read. I set the book down and shakily got to my feet, following the novice up into the scared chapel. I could hear the morning prayers echoing through the halls, and I paused as we pass by a large statue that was in the likeness of Saint Glinda. She really had become a deity to these women… even if she did forgive me… would she… could she ever take me back?

"Here we are," the novice said, stopping in front of a door. She knocked and we heard a call of "Come in". I opened the door and entered, closing it behind me.

The large fireplace was the only thing lighting the room, as all the curtains were drawn. I approached the figure sitting by the flames, and she turned to look at me.

"Ah, I see you are feeling better."

I nodded, my gaze down.

"You're very lucky that Saint Glinda blessed you. A kiss from such a holy person is a great protection."

If a kiss was considered protection, I wondered how they would react if they found out I had sex with their deity. That had to mean invincibility.

"Will you now tell us your name, and why you are here?"

I didn't answer, not right away. Those were both questions I had been asking myself for quite some time now, and I finally replied, "Aelphaba."

"As in Saint Aelphaba, who disappeared behind the waterfall?"

I nodded.

"I see… and what do you seek within the walls of this cloister, Aelphaba?"

My voice shook as I softly said, "Forgiveness."

* * *

_I never expected to end up here… the cloister of Saint Glinda. I don't know how Glinda became a saint, but I suppose this might be the best place for me. I'm an atheist of course… and I don't think this will change my view on religion, but for now, I have nowhere else to go. And Glinda was here once… she saved me from death. I will wait for her to return… I will wait._


	25. Entry 25

The morning lauds called us into the sacred chapel, and as usual, I took my place in the back corner pew. I bowed my head as the prayers began, clutching my worn prayer book, but as so often happened, I wasn't sure whom I was praying to, if that's even what I was doing. I knew the words by heart; I could recite them without thinking. But their meaning… well, I wasn't sure if they held any.

When we had finished, we filed out of the chapel, heading for the dining hall for breakfast. I lingered near the back of the group, my gaze on the floor. When a sudden hand caught my arm, I paused, looking for whom the hand belonged to.

"Mother Yackle has asked for you," Sister Bursar said.

I nodded before I turned and started for her room. It had been several months since I'd spoken to Mother Yackle, seeing as she had been giving me to time to adjust to life in the cloister. Upon reaching her room, I knocked a few times before entering, closing the door behind me.

"Sister Aelphaba… please, sit."

I sat across from her, bowing my head slightly in respect.

"Do you know why I have summoned you?"

I shook my head. Ah, yes, I should probably mention that shortly after my recovery, I had taken a vow of silence, seeing as in here, I had nothing to say, except in silent prayers.

"I have heard that you haven't been eating recently… or less than you usually do. And Sister Bursar says that you have shown up late to the morning laud more than once due to nausea."

I nodded, for all those things were true.

"Sister Aelphaba… you know that we accept anyone who comes to us for sanctuary, so we will not turn you away for this. But I must know the truth: did you have relations with a man that resulted in you now being with child?"

I froze, my hands clenching and unclenching a few times. That was something I had been trying to avoid for quite some time now. Of course, it was entirely possible… but I was still rather thin… I admit, I wasn't as small as I had been in my Shiz days, but I did not show such obvious signs as most pregnant women. Still… I could not ignore the signs. Finally, I just nodded.

"I see… so you came for more than just forgiveness."

Perhaps I had… subconsciously. This was the only safe place I could have… well…

"Rest assured, whenever the child does decide to come… you will be allowed to stay."

I nodded as my thanks before I stood and left, though lost in my own thoughts. Of course, pregnancy had never been anything I'd planned for… I never expected it to happen. Glinda was the one who had wanted children, not me. Of course, I could have just forced myself to continue living in denial, but I knew that when the time came for this… uninvited guest to arrive, that would be impossible.

* * *

It didn't take much longer for my… passenger to decide that it was time for them to enter this world. We were walking to the evening vespers, and I was at the back of the group, taking my time in crossing the courtyard. While I now boasted a slight bulge, the main effect I felt from my pregnancy was the loss of energy. Everything made me so tired, and just getting around the cloister was harder than it should have been.

I paused for a moment, catching my breath. I suddenly felt a slight burning running down my leg and it didn't take long for me to realize that my water had broken. This would be a problem. I sat on the nearest bench, which was right under the statue of our deity, trying to steady my breathing as I felt the first wave of contractions grip me.

"Sister Aelphaba… are you all right?" Sister Bursar asked, approaching me. Apparently she had noticed that I had not entered the chapel with the others.

I shook my head, refusing to break my silence even now.

"Come, to the infirmary we go," she said, putting an arm around my waist and helping me stand. We made it to our destination just as I felt another wave of contractions coming on. Still, I refused to cry out as I was helped into a bed.

Somehow, Mother Yackle was there, saying, "We knew this day was coming, dolly, now lie back and let's bring the Unnamed God's child into this world."

Had I not sworn myself to silence, I would have protested against that right away, but I instead clenched my jaw tightly as the contractions continued. As for the actual birthing process… well, that became a blur. I remember burning beads of sweat running down the sides of my face and the repeated word "push". I'm sure a few hours of this passed before the baby was out, and the next thing I remember is hearing the cries of the child.

"It's a boy," Sister Bursar said, wrapping him in an old bed sheet.

"Have you a name ready?" Mother Yackle asked me.

Still somewhat in a daze from giving birth, I used a bloodied finger to write "Liir" into the bed sheet.

"All right. Then Liir it shall be."

* * *

Apparently my subconscious was smarter than I thought, because providing for Liir in a cloister was much easier than it would have been had I tried to raise him in the Emerald City. Here, we had a roof over our heads, and food was provided. True, I did not enjoy the concept of breast-feeding, but I had already decided that once he was old enough, I was going to disown the boy. Don't think me cruel; I didn't ask for a child. My life did not allow for one, and the fact that he could have belonged to one of two men… well, it was something I would rather not be reminded of.

Oz, I was turning into my mother… Nanny had been right. I hated that!

It was about a year later when I felt that it was safe enough to leave Liir alone in my room during his naps, which would allow me to return to my services. I was sure the other sisters had been talking about me, but unlike the citizens of the Emerald City, they didn't let it show if they had talked. It didn't matter much to me, however. This was a different world for me.

Breakfast had ended and we were walking through the courtyard again when we heard someone ringing at the door. Being the novice, I was required to answer it. I didn't say a word as I opened the door.

"Elphaba?"

I froze at the voice, tempted to slam the door right in his face, but decency didn't allow that, so instead I just held my cold expression.

"Elphaba, it's me, Garrett. I've been looking for you."

Still, I said nothing.

"Won't you let me in so we can talk?"

I shook my head.

"Elphaba, please—"

"Can I help you?" Sister Bursar asked, coming to my side.

"I just need to talk to—"

"Sister Aelphaba has taken a vow of silence."

Garrett looked from her to me, and I looked away.

"Fae—"

"I think you should leave now," Sister Bursar said.

"No, I'm not leaving until she and I talk!"

"This is a place of holy sanctuary. You will leave, sir."

Garrett looked angry, but he turned and left. Sister Bursar closed the door and looked at me. "Is he…?"

I looked down, not wanting to admit that it could be him. He had been a mistake.

"Come… we'll continue our stroll."

* * *

Life slipped back into the state of routine, and I was starting to get used to it… maybe a little too much. Liir was approaching his second birthday; not that that really meant anything of course. He was starting to look more like Fiyero and—

Yero. I felt a wave of unexpected relief wash over me. This was Yero's son… the relief was soon followed by guilt. The prince was dead because of me… and now I had his illegitimate son. Perhaps it would best if I stayed in this cloister until I died… it wasn't like there was anything out there for me anyway.

After I had just laid Liir down for the night, I knelt beside my bed, beginning to pray. A sudden rustle caught my attention and I paused, figuring it had just been Liir when I didn't hear it again. I had just resumed my prayer when I was suddenly thrown onto the floor, a figure kneeling over me.

"Hello again, Fae," Garrett said, the moonlight illuminating his silhouette. I glared at him, but made no attempt to push him away. "Sorry I took so long. I had business to attend to, you see." He stood, pulling me to my feet. A pause. "Well, we're alone. Say something."

No surprise that I remained silent.

"Are you seriously taking this vow of silence thing to heart?"

I just scowled at him.

Garret sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I… I started remembering things… from my childhood. I know that we knew each other… and we dated, didn't we?"

I inhaled softly, looking away. I did not want him to start bringing up memories from my past.

And then suddenly, he had me pinned up against the wall roughly. "Answer me! You remember it, don't you? How you lost control of your magic that night… how you almost killed me!"

I turned away from him, not wanting to remember that night… how I had almost killed a group of my classmates at only fifteen. Why… why did he have to come back? Wasn't killing Fiyero enough?

"Say something!" He struck me hard enough to cause my head to snap back against the wall with a thud. The sound woke Liir and he began to cry. Garrett looked confused and released me to move over to where Liir was, peering down at him. The blonde looked back at me. "You…"

By this time, I had drawn my knife and had it pointed at him. Just because I refused to speak didn't mean I couldn't communicate… and cloister life hadn't made me completely docile.

"Is that really how this is going to be, Elphaba?"

I didn't move.

"He's our son… you can't keep me from him… but all right… I'll go… but don't think this is over." Garrett disappeared through the window and I stood, trembling slightly. I sheathed my knife before I went to Liir, taking him into my arms and gently rocking him back to sleep as I gazed at the moon outside.

* * *

I don't know why Garrett had waited that year to show up again. Somehow, he had managed to regain his memory of our childhood… and that concerned me. With his position in the Gale Force and now this… I began to wonder if I really was safe here. I couldn't endanger the other sisters' lives… I would not bear the guilt of another death.

Days passed, and I kept telling myself that tomorrow I would leave… tomorrow, I would pack my things, break my silence, and leave this sanctuary.

I told myself this for three more years.

* * *

As a maunt, it is our duty to take care of those who are less fortunate than us. This includes the elderly, the sick, and any others that come to us for sanctuary… just as I did four years ago.

Now, it was time for me to repay my debt.

The rain was falling hard, and I paced in the infirmary, the storm unsettling me. It had caught me off-guard, while I had been down here, searching for a change of sheets for Liir's cot. Now the only way to get back to my room was through the falling droplets, and that was a death sentence for me. So I was stuck her, waiting for it to die down.

The door suddenly burst open and I looked up to see a few sisters carrying someone in.

"Oh, Sister Aelphaba, it's fortunate that you're here. We found this woman outside and she's been severely injured. Please fetch some towels."

I nodded before I moved to retrieve the towels, returning as they set the woman in an empty bed. As I handed the towels over, I noticed that the woman had three deep, long gashes that ran along the side of her face and down her neck. Blood stained her torn clothes, and it wasn't hard to see why breathing was difficult for her.

"She's burning up… I don't know if we can save this one."

I continued to look down at the woman, wondering why she looked so familiar…

* * *

Even at the young age of seven, I was exceptionally bony and tall, my limbs seeming too long for my body. Still, I had taught myself how to use them, and they didn't bother me in the slightest.

"You'd better come down from there! Mother won't like it!" Nessa called, far below at the base of the tree I was sitting in.

I stuck my tongue out at her as my response. "Don't kill the fun, Nessie." I gave the branch a shake, watching as a shower of leaves rained down on my sister.

"Elphaba!" the brunette whined, brushing the leaves from her hair and off her lap. "I'm telling!"

"Go ahead!"

Nessa turned her chair awkwardly before wheeling away. I looked out over the forest, leaning against the trunk with a sigh. I liked being out here… away from the strict rules of my parents, and the disapproving looks they gave me. Out here… I could be my green self.

"Elphaba."

The cool tone of my mother pulled me from my thoughts and I looked down.

"Come down."

I saw Nessa sitting beside her and I sighed. She was the good one; Nessa always did the right thing. Reluctantly, I started climbing down, only to slip and fall about five feet from the ground, which to a child, is a long distance. I hit the ground and sat up with a groan, noticing that some of my blood had stained the grass. I put a hand to my face, feeling the scratches the branches had left behind.

"Oh, and now you've hurt yourself," my mother said irritably, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. She started to half drag me back to our house. "Make sure we clean you up and then it's off to prayers with your father... he won't be happy if he sees you bleeding on his oh so precious prayer books."

* * *

Midnight. The storm had calmed down, and I was sitting beside the woman's bed, looking down at the faded pages of my prayer book. Whether she was asleep or dead, I wasn't entirely sure. I didn't know why, but I felt compelled to watch over her… almost as if owed it to her. As I turned the page, a faint odor reached me and I looked over to see a wet spot forming on the sheets. Apparently this woman was too out of it to even register when she had to take a piss. Wonderful.

"_Now my dear, we can't condemn an innocent life. Anyone can be saved."_

_My mother scoffed. "This isn't living Frexspar. Look, she can't feed herself, and she's sitting in her own waste. Nothing but an empty shell. I'd rather die than live that way."_

I closed my book, standing. Looking down at her, I knew this woman was my mother. Somehow she had wound up here, but only to die. For my mother, I would grant her wish… I would not force her to live in such humiliation. I picked up a pillow and placed it over her face, gently applying pressure.

Melena Thropp died without a fight.

* * *

"Sister Aelphaba? You have a visitor."

I jack knifed myself into the darkest corner when the door opened, wary of visitors. Even after the door closed, I didn't move, but kept my gaze on the floor, wishing I had my cloak to pull around myself.

The blonde, meanwhile, moved a chair a few feet away from me before she sat. "It's an oddity, isn't it? After all your complaining about religion… you wind up here, and with the name of a saint, no less."

I didn't reply, nor would I look up at her.

"Elphie… please don't shut me out. I've been so worried about you."

I didn't resist when she took my hands, and this seemed to please her slightly.

"When I came for the Lurlinemas feast, I heard they'd taken in a newcomer with the oddest skin color. I knew it had to be you, and when they told me that you were sick… what else could I do but heal you? When I saw you lying in that bed… I was so afraid I'd lose you, just like we lost Ama Clutch… you were saying the oddest things. And then I saw these…" Her fingers ran gently over the scars on my wrists. "Well… I can't tell you how happy I am that you're still alive."

I finally brought myself to look up at the blonde, and was surprised to see how much she had changed. At only twenty-seven, it looked as though the world had already taken its toll on her. Oh, it wasn't that her outward appearance was that of an older person- hardly any wrinkles on her face- but I could see it in her eyes, and the expression she wore. A flash of old anger went through me when I noticed that one eye was healing after being blackened. Who had dared to hit her?

"Elphie… it really is you." She reached to touch my face, but I moved away from her hand. I could not bear her gentle touch… it was a kindness I did not deserve… not after all I had done. The blonde gripped my hands tighter. "All right… I will respect your vow of silence." She ran a hand through my hair as she stood, placing a kiss on my forehead. Tearfully, she whispered, "I forgive you… my love."

My eyes widened at the proclamation, and I held onto her hand as long as I could as she left. I stood as I watched her, wanting desperately to say something, _anything_. How could I just let her walk away?

"G…" was all I managed to get out, my voice sounding strangled, but she was gone.

Glinda did not return to the cloister again.

That night, as I was starting a fire, I heard small, tottering steps and I looked up to see Liir crossing the room yet again. Now that he could walk, he wouldn't sit still. I heard a rustling and I approached him, seeing that he had some papers in his hands. Gently, I pried them away, seeing as paper was scarce in Oz and I didn't want him destroying what little was left. Liir made noises of protest, which I ignored as I glanced over the papers.

My eyes widened slightly with realization. These… these were Glinda's drawings from Shiz. The cat on the windowsill… me stretching after undressing… and this was a new one. I recognized the blonde, and the provocative pose of her lying naked on her bed stirred old feelings inside of me. I turned the page over, surprised to see writing on the back.

_My Dearest Elphaba,_

_Every day I must live without you feels like a lifetime. I cannot go anyplace without seeing green… and being reminded of what I did. How could I have sent you away? I didn't want to believe you when you said my parents were not good people… but shortly after the fire, I sifted through the rubble… and I saw all the remnants of the Animals. How could they be so heartless? These people raised me… and never once did I realize…_

_I'm sorry… Sweet Lurline, I'm so sorry Elphaba. Please… if you are still out there… could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? I cannot keep living without you… I need you. I know this will never reach you, but please… come back to me._

I lowered the paper slowly, watching a drop of water hit it. That was odd. Another followed, and I realized that I was crying. She… she wanted me to forgive her… and all this time… I thought…

_I forgive you…_

Picking up the picture of myself, I turned that one over as well, not surprised to see writing on the back.

_Elphaba,_

_Do you remember this picture from Shiz? I drew it our first night as roommates. You might still be wondering why I chose you as my subject then, when we didn't exactly see eye to eye. Well, I'll tell you a secret: you're beautiful. It's as simple as that. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were beautiful. Perhaps that is why I tried so hard to hate you. I couldn't understand how someone like you could manage to catch my attention so._

_I kept drawing you, hoping to find some imperfection, which would give me reason to hate you… but the more I drew, the more I was attracted to you. You had no imperfections… your body was flawless, and on paper, the green didn't matter. I don't know how you did it… but you made yourself a nice little spot in my heart, and now, without you… that spot aches._

_I need you. I love you. Please come back to me._

I wondered how many of these she'd written… and had she left these behind on purpose, or had she simply dropped them? I picked up the last drawing, the one of the cat, and turned it over.

_Elphie,_

_This picture was one of the first that brought us together. As I think about that day, I think about all the things I miss about you. Your green, first of all, but I believe that's a given. I miss your long hair… you always had such beautiful hair. It made me so jealous. If I could have found a way to steal your hair… honestly, I would have. I miss your height too… I know, that's a strange thing to miss, but I do. The fact that I was so short… so vulnerable… when you took me into your arms, I felt as though nothing could touch us._

_Do you know how you smell, Elphie? Charred wood and soap; I've found that I can't find any combination that smells just as you did. And you're so soft… when we lie together in bed, I never wanted to let go of you. I miss your voice… even when you were being sarcastic. Do you remember that night at the Peach and Kidneys? When you sang for us… I felt as though your voice had taken me to cloud where I could just float forever._

_But most of all, I just miss you. I can't believe I thought I could live without you. Please, I'll give anything if you just come back to me… I love you Elphaba._

The sincerity of these letters… it threatened to cause the tears I'd been holding back to stream down my face, but I fought them. Not here. This was not the place for such weakness.

* * *

Now that I had the forgiveness of our deity, I knew that this cloister had nothing else to offer me. I knew that Liir was Fiyero's, which meant that the only way I could fully be forgiven would be to leave my safe haven and go to his widowed wife… once Sarima forgave me, I would be able to move on.

"Even through your silence, I know why you have come to see me."

I stood before Mother Yackle, who was currently sewing a habit.

"Yes dolly, Mother Yackle knows. You want to leave. We have given you everything we can offer here… and now what you seek lies out there. But tell me Sister Aelphaba… where is your destination?"

Pulling out my prayer book, I turned to a blank page where I had drawn a map of Oz, and had circled Kiamo Ko.

"I see. Well, if this is what you have chosen… then I will grant your leave. I hope you find what you are looking for."

I sincerely hoped so too.


	26. Entry 26

When the time came for the five-year maunt to leave, Sister Bursar led me to the store chamber, pulling the large brass key from her bosom. "Come in," she said after she'd unlocked the door and entered. I followed her in, looking around. She handed me three plain, straight dresses, six camisoles, gloves, a shawl, my cloak, and my old boots, which were in danger of falling apart. She also gave me my broom, and a basket for emergencies: herbs, roots, salves, and the like. There was paper too, but as I mentioned before, paper was scarce in Oz now, so there were only a dozen or so pages, all of different sizes and thickness.

"You're bright, for all your sulks and silences," Sister Bursar said, handing me a pfenix feather quill, along with three small pots of black ink.

I was ushered outside, where I found a woman waiting in an ambulatory. She didn't look particularly pleased when she saw me.

"This is Sister Saint Aelphaba," Mother Yackle said. "She's spent many years in solitude. The habit of gossip is lost, but it's time for her to move on, and move on she will. You'll find her no trouble."

The woman, Oatsie, looked at me and said, "The Grasstrail Train doesn't promise the survival of passengers. I've led two dozen trips on the past ten years, and I've had more casualties than I'd like to admit."

"She leaves of her own free will," Mother Yackle said. "Should she wish to return at any point, we would take her in. She is one of us."

While Oatsie loaded my bag into the ambulatory, Mother Yackle turned to me. "Sweet child of the Unnamed God, you go from us for you feel there is a penalty to pay before you may find peace. You are returning to yourself, so we send you with our love. Godspeed."

I kept my gaze down, not responding.

Mother Yackle sighed. "We must be off to our devotions." I saw her hand money off to Oatsie, who was still loading the luggage. "You're on your own now, Sister Aelphaba. May the stars smile down on you!" And then she was gone with Sister Bursar.

Oatsie had spotted Liir and said, "Off with you."

"I'm to go too, that's what they told me," Liir protested.

Oatsie looked at me, but I neither confirmed nor denied it as I climbed in. What Liir wanted to do was his own business; he did not belong to me any longer. Oatsie climbed up and urged the horses on with a snap of the reins.

"Do you still want to be called sister, now that you've been sprung from that holy prison?" Oatsie called to me.

For the first time in five years, I broke my silence and found my voice. "Elphie is fine," I said, my own voice surprising me.

"And the boy, what's he called?"

I shrugged.

We met up with the rest of the caravan, and as Oatsie told us of the planned route, I chose to instead draw coiling shapes in the dirt with my quill. I knew that the Arjiki weren't a violent tribe… these people were ignorant. The other passengers looked at me, not with repulsion as I was used to, but more with intrigue, trying to figure me out. Well, I didn't plan on sharing, and I decided that I would keep mostly to myself.

* * *

As we headed towards Kellswater, the others slept, but I stayed awake most nights. Thought was returning to me, perhaps because I was no longer confined by walls, but instead was out under the expansive sky. Some nights, I would try writing; others, I just lie on my back, gazing up at the night sky, never committing my thoughts to paper. Being outside the cloister… life seemed to become very particular. There I had followed a set pattern… cleaning, making wine, taking in the sick and elderly, watching them die… I could handle the dying. Five years of absolute silence… I had begun to lose myself.

Then Glinda came, and against my will, I was made into an individual again. Now I had to atone for my sins. And when that was done… well, Mother Yackle said I was still a young woman. I could start a family…

"You can't sleep."

While my thoughts were rich, my words were still poor, so I gave Oatsie a grunt as my reply. She talked, and told some stories, and though I tried to enjoy them, tried to smile, I continued to gaze up at the stars, which seemed to make noise as they twinkled and turned, but I couldn't hear them. Oatsie was too loud.

There was much to hate in this world, and too much to love.

* * *

When we did reach Kellswater, it was a murderous slice of grey water that we saw, no lights falling on it.

"This is why horses never drink here, nor any aqueducts hooked up from the Emerald City," Oatsie said. "This is dead water. And you thought you'd seen it all."

The others seemed impressed, and fear crept into some when Liir opened his mouth to say, "Are we to be attacked? If so, I'll kill 'em dead before they know what hit them!"

"Shut up," I grunted. It was the very first thing I ever said to him.

As we made our way around Kellswater, the others, who were mostly Gillikinese, gossiped to distract themselves. One afternoon, I was nodding off in the corner of the ambulatory, seeing as I preferred to stay awake during the night hours.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"I do, and I'm telling you, Lady Glinda only has so much time before Sir Chuffery decides to… you know."

That caught my attention. I looked up, somewhat hiding behind my shawl so they wouldn't notice me right away.

"What? Kill her?"

"No you idiot. Why would he do that? She's a saint, and you can't kill them. They keep coming back."

"Well, what are you talking about then?"

The first man sighed. "He's gonna remarry idiot!"

"But why?"

"Well, the rumor is that Lady Glinda isn't exactly… the best field to plow."

"You mean she's sterile?"

"Don't you know the meaning of the word subtle?"

I inhaled softly, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I didn't like the way they were talking about her… and Glinda wasn't the problem. I'd heard that this Sir Chuffery was "dry as two walnuts" and for him to blame it on Glinda…

"Well why is that so bad? So he marries another woman."

"No, he's not gonna remarry. Why would he give up a broad like her?"

"So what then? Trial and error? He's gonna cheat on her?"

"Yep, and she'll have to sit and take it."

This elicited a laugh from the two, and I chose this moment to make use of my voice again.

"Are you sure it isn't the man who's trouble?" I said, surprised that came out the way I intended… somewhat.

The two looked surprised, most likely because they hadn't noticed me before. "You're not from that area. Men aren't the problem."

"Of course you'd think that… and should you really be gossiping about a saint like that? Have you that much disrespect?"

The man who had begun this gossip gave me a glare, while his friend looked away. They made sure not the talk about Glinda in front of me again, if they dared to talk about her at all. It would appear the old Elphaba was resurfacing… and she was through taking shit.

* * *

I had noticed that we had several animals traveling with us in our caravan, and yes they were animals. The cook also had a dog named Killjoy, who seemed to me to be more of a Makejoy. He was more of a mountain breed and he loped around the caravan, sniffing and slobbering everywhere. He loved to hunt, but he wasn't very good at it, so we didn't have to worry much about tiny animal corpses turning up at our feet.

The others speculated whether he was actually a Dog in hiding, and I scoffed at that. "Ha, have you spoke to Animals so seldom that you can't tell the difference anymore?" I said to them. No, he was a dog, but a rather wonderful dog.

Liir seemed to take a liking to him, and I heard him talking to the dog more than once. "I'm Liir. You can be my dog, sort of."

I had to smile slightly at that. He wasn't very good at making friends, and a lonely child really should have a dog.

We soon left Kellswater behind, and some felt safer away from it. We were now heading into the Great Kells, and the Vinkus River ran through it to the right. Oatsie knew that there were safe places to ford, but she couldn't remember exactly where, so it was up to us to search and find them.

"What are we looking for?" Liir asked, following close behind me as I stepped over rocks and brush.

"A place to ford."

"What does that mean?"

I didn't reply, but kept walking, Liir stepping on my boots more than once. Finally, I sighed, saying, "Stop stepping on me."

"I don't mean to."

I ignored him, and a shout from another few alerted us to the fact that they'd found a spot. Liir and I started back towards the group, and when we arrived, Killjoy came bounding up, whining and bleeding. Apparently he'd finally caught something: a valley grite. Those little creatures were nasty, and I treated the dog for poison as we crossed the river, seeing as it helped keep my mind off the fact that we were surrounded by water. Liir let him ride in his arms, and I found myself faintly jealous. It amused me that such a feeling as jealousy had managed to sneak its way back into my green self.

The cook meanwhile seemed almost angered that Killjoy preferred another's company over his own, and that night at dinner, he shook his ladle over his head in frustration. I fancied him a butcher cook, seeing as he had no scruples with killing rabbits and serving them for dinner, which I refused to eat.

"How do you know those weren't Rabbits?" I asked.

"Quite you, or I'll cook the boy instead," the cook spat back.

I tried to raise the notion of firing the cook with Oatsie, but she hardly listened, saying, "We're coming upon Kumbricia's Pass. I have other matters on my mind."

And enter the pass we did, where we wear immediately greeted by damp air and the strong scent of the forest. The dampness of the air didn't exactly agree with me, but I kept myself bundled up in an effort to cope with it. As we passed by a small lake, I noticed a dead tree, which housed a community of bees.

"I want to take them with us," I said, sitting up. "I'll talk to them and see if they'll come." I remembered that there had been bees in the garden of Crage Hall, and the courtyard of the cloister of Saint Glinda, and they'd always entranced me.

* * *

"Elphie!"

I looked up at the sound of my name, only to be barreled over by the blonde.

"What is it?" I asked, putting an arm around her.

"Hide me!"

"From what? Do I need to beat someone up?"

Galinda shook her head. "N-no! I'm being chased by a bee!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Galinda, bees won't hurt you."

"Says you! I've been stung and it hurts! OH OZ THERE IT IS AGAIN!" The blonde practically shoved me towards the tiny insect. "KILL IT ELPHIE!"

I rolled my eyes, holding a verdant hand out. The bee landed, its wings twitching. "Hey there. I'll bet her screaming scared you, huh? Poor thing… separated from the others…" I walked over to a patch of flowers, releasing the insect. "There you go." I returned to the blonde, who was gaping at me.

"Elphaba Thropp, you're crazy!"

I chuckled. "Perhaps, but I have saved you, my sweet. Now let's return to the relative safety of our room."

* * *

Though some of the others were terrified of the bees, Oatsie and a few others agreed to having them, so I climbed the tree to converse with the bees.

"I know you don't see humans like this much, but I'm not afraid of you. In fact, you're quite fascinating. I was curious if you would be interested in traveling with us?"

The bees seemed to buzz in thought before they flew in a swarm over to the caravan. I hoped down from the tree and back into the wagon, only to find that all the others had chosen to stay in the other wagons, away from me. Not that this bothered me. I preferred to sit and watch the bees in silence.

Soon, we had to stop and send out a request for a rafiqi, for we were not allowed to travel through the Vinkus tribes without one. While we waited, the others grew bored, and one night around the fire, they began to discuss the existence of evil and the old legends. They went back and forth, and I just listened, my gaze on the dancing flames.

"I don't believe in the Kumbric Witch," the cook boasted. "Even in Kumbricia's Pass."

"You don't believe in Rabbits either," I snapped, suddenly angered. I was tired of this man and his arrogance. "The question is, does the Kumbric Witch believe in you?"

"Temper," Oatsie said, which soon turned into a sort of sing along, which prompted me to stomp away. This reminded me too much of my childhood, filled with conversations with my father and Nessa about evil! As if one could ever know!

* * *

The rafiqi came the next morning, and we were able to continue. Inside the pass, a strange silence fell over us. The bees seemed to hibernate in the joint of the old tree they lived in. Killjoy slept twenty-two hours a day. Liir wept like a young girl. The others didn't talk, for fear of being heard by some unseen spirit. And in the middle of the night, the cook disappeared.

Four days later, we emerged from the pass into the Thousand Year Grasslands, and even my heart lifted unexpectedly, but the thought of Glinda still weighed heavily on my mind. I remember what those men had said, about her not having much time… and I also remembered her healing black eye. I couldn't delay any longer… Kiamo Ko would have to wait.

"And do you propose you'll get to the Gillikin?" Oatsie asked when I told her of my intentions.

"That is my concern. Drop Liir off at Kiamo Ko, along with the bees and all my things."

She scoffed, but didn't say no.

"It's because her bees killed the cook that she's leaving," some of the others grumbled.

"Oh? They've been asleep for so long, and if a man had been attacked in the middle of the night, wouldn't he scream? Unless the bees went down his throat and stung it there first so that he couldn't. Smart bees those."

"It was the bees." The implication was clear: _It was you too._

"It would appear I've forgotten the size of the human imagination." Still, I left, moving far enough away from the group that they wouldn't notice when I mounted my broom. Even though it had been quite some time, this felt… right. After a few tense moments, I feared that the broom would refuse to carry me any longer, but then it took off and the wind was tearing at me yet again.

* * *

Sisters didn't fly on brooms. They didn't talk to bees either. I was more of a witch than anything… the citizens of the Emerald City hadn't been far off I suppose. Still, this wasn't news to me… I suppose it was just time I accepted me. Sure my father would most likely have a fit, but I could live with that. I had already given up my title as the next Eminent Thropp… Nessa would do better than I ever could. In any case, my only concern now was freeing Glinda from the hell she'd trapped herself in… and if I had to be a witch to do that, then so be it.

From what I had heard, Sir Chuffery's mansion was located in the Gillikin, but between Frottica and Mount Runcible. It would take me a day or so to fly there, and once I did enter the Gillikin on the second night, a sudden clap of thunder sounded. I pulled my cloak closer around myself as the first drops of rain began to fall. This wasn't good... I pulled up the hood of my cloak and wrapped my shawl around my face in a way that left only my eyes exposed. The intensity of the storm grew, and soon, it became hard to see. Still, I held my broom straight, hoping that my cloak would hold out.

Through the wall of water, my eyes soon fell on the towering shape of Sir Chuffery's mansion. I had to figure out how I was going to do this. I could most likely sneak in through a servants' entrance unnoticed, and then from there I would have to navigate through the mansion without setting off any alerts. I leaned forward as I drew closer, trying to see through the wall of water.

"Come on…"

There was a sudden flash of lighting and my broom was plummeting through the air. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn't control it, and I went crashing through a window just as a clap of thunder sounded. I heard a scream and a lamp was suddenly lit.

"What in Oz's name is going on here?" a male voice asked.

I got to my feet with a groan, my hood falling and my shawl dropping around my neck. My eyes falling on a flustered Glinda covering herself with a bed sheet and… ahem, well… her husband. Apparently I had just interrupted… _something_.

"Elphie…" the blonde breathed, looking at me as though I were a ghost.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sir Chuffery asked, standing.

I quickly forced myself to look only at his face. "I'm here to sav—" A sneeze interrupted me, and I wiped my face, looking back at Sir Chuffery. "I'm here to save the woman I love."

Glinda looked shocked, and her husband turned to her. "Is that what this has come to? You hire someone to come kidnap you so you can get away from me?"

"I—"

"You're not going anywhere; you belong to me!" He reached over to ring a rather loud bell. "And you're under arrest, witch."

"That's not going to work for me," I said, drawing my knife.

"Put that away."

"Glinda and I are leaving."

"You're not going anywhere."

This man was getting on my last nerve. "Listen you bastard—"

A sudden blow between my shoulder blades brought me to my knees. My knife fell from my hand, skittering across the floor.

"Elphaba!" Glinda tried to run to my side, but Sir Chuffery grabbed her.

"Don't. You're in enough trouble as it is."

"No…" I said, trying to get back up, but I was forced back to the floor, my arms pinned behind my back. After I was properly restrained, the guards hauled me to my feet. "Glinda…" I could only look at the blonde as I was dragged away from the room, quickly kicking my knife under the bed before it could be noticed.

Apparently, Sir Chuffery was either rich enough or cruel enough (or both) to have had his basement converted into a prison of sorts. This was where I was currently being held, and even though I fought to escape, the chains restraining me held firm. I let out a sigh of frustration. This was not how I had intended this to go. I closed my eyes as I allowed my mind to wander.

* * *

Chapel was never something I had enjoyed in my childhood, but I attended, as per my father's wishes. Even after we moved to Quadling Country, my father insisted that we attended, often because he as the one preaching. While I sat bored, my sister couldn't get enough. Her eyes were wide as she watched our father, her adult prayer book that she was so proud of clutched tightly in her hands.

My mother shared my feelings about chapel, and as surprising as it was, these were rare times when we would "bond", as it were. While my father prattled on, my mother would draw me to sit between her legs and braid my long hair in silence, most likely because she made sure to heavily intoxicate herself before every mass.

One particularly hot afternoon, we were sweating and sweltering in our seats, the chapel not providing any protection from the outside. Our conservative clothing didn't help either, and while Nessa sat in her chair, never letting it show if the heat were getting to her, I on the other hand wasn't so lucky. Sweat dripped down my face, burning it in quite a painful way. I was doing all I could to keep my wincing to a minimum. I suddenly felt gentle hands wrap around my torso and I found myself sitting between my mother's legs again. I felt her fingers brush gently against my scalp as she wiped the sweat from my hairline.

"My poor baby…" I heard her breathe. For once, she didn't sound intoxicated, which surprised me. She hugged me gently and for the rest of that mass, she wiped the sweat from my face, doing all a mother could to protect her child from harm.

* * *

"Elphaba?"

I looked up, realizing that I had dozed off. My eyes focused on the figure in front of me. "Glinda…"

The blonde smiled slightly. "You left my cloister…"

I grinned slightly as well. "I came to find my deity."

"Seeing as evil is the absence of a deity?"

"Exactly."

The blonde sniffled, wiping her eyes and looking away. "You shouldn't have come… this is my fault."

"Glinda… look at me. I read your letters… and I heard what you've been going through. Did you really think I was going to abandon you?"

"But that night… I told you to go…"

"I know why you said it… you were angry, and you had every right to be."

"I never stopped…" She looked up at me. "I never stopped loving you… and I never forgave myself for sending you away…"

"Please don't cry… there's a way out of this, I promise."

"How Elphie? You're trapped down here, and in the morning, Sir Chuffery is going to have you sent to the Emerald City… to the Wizard."

"That might be his plan, but we're not going to give him the chance to go through with it."

"W-we?"

"Glinda, you and I can do this… together. You have to trust me… please…"

The blonde looked down, and for a few tense moments, I feared that perhaps all her faith and trust in me had finally run dry, but she looked back up, nodding slowly.

"A-all right."

I nodded. "All right. Now listen: when I dropped my knife, I kicked it under the bed, and I don't think anyone noticed. If you go back, it should still be there. All you have to do is—"

"I can't."

"I haven't even finished explaining."

"You want me to hurt him, and I can't. I just can't Elphaba. I swore to never harm a living creature."

"No, Glin, look; you don't have to. Just… scare him a little."

"He doesn't scare."

"Glinda, don't you want to get out of here?"

"I… I just…"

"You can't tell me that you love this man."

"Well, you have to understand—"

"Understand what? He hits you Glinda. I saw your black eye when you came to see me; this is unacceptable! I won't let him hurt you anymore!"

Tears were starting down her face again. "Elphie…"

"Please… I love you... and I can't let you live in this hell any longer."

"I… I love you too Elphaba… and I… I'll do what I can…"

"You can do it Glin… I have faith in you. We'll get through this… together."

The blonde nodded before she fled, leaving me alone again.

* * *

I don't know exactly how long I waited, but I was dozing off again when a crash from upstairs jerked me awake. I heard hurried footsteps and then, "Oh Oz, oh, Oz, oh Oz." Glinda suddenly appeared, her face flushed and hair unkempt.

"What happened?" I asked.

The blonde tried catching her breath, but that didn't work terribly well. "I… he… I didn't… it was…"

"Glinda, my sweet, calm down. Tell me what happened."

"I went… to get your knife… and he woke up… and I… I didn't want to… but he came at me… so I… I stabbed him. Oz, Elphaba, I stabbed my husband!" She began to hyperventilate.

"Glinda, deep breaths."

"I'm t-trying!"

"Please calm down, I'm sure it's not as bad as you th—"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"

There was a loud snapping noise and my face met the floor. Apparently in her anger, Glinda had subconsciously used her magic to sever the chains holding me.

"Oh, Elphie, I'm sorry!"

"I'm fine…" I got to my feet, reaching through the bars and taking my knife from the blonde, which I used to pick the lock of my cell. Once I was free, I embraced Glinda tightly, feeling her clutch to me.

"Elphaba…"

"I missed you so much… I love you Glinda."

We pulled away slightly and leaned in to kiss, but a bullet whizzing inches from our heads somewhat killed the mood. I quickly shoved Glinda's head down as I took her hand and we started running.

"I thought you said you stabbed him!" I said.

"I did!"

"Well, where then? He seems fine to me!"

"His shoulder…"

"That isn't exactly lethal Glinda!"

Another bullet came rocketing past, bouncing off a metal bar and striking the wall in front of me. This was getting too dangerous. Where the hell was the exit?

"Damn woman, you live in a maze!"

Glinda pulled me down another hallway, and then another and suddenly, we were out of the basement. "How are we going to get out now Elphaba?"

"Go back upstairs to the bedroom."

"Why?"

"My broom is still there. We'll go out the window."

"But the storm—"

"Glinda, we cannot stay here!"

Somehow, Glinda managed to get us back to the bedroom, though how she could find her way around this place baffled me to no end. Upon reaching the bedroom, we made a grim discovery: my broom was gone. A sudden laugh caught our attention and we turned.

"You're a clever witch, aren't you?" Sir Chuffery said. "I had heard that you were exceptionally good at manipulating the weak-minded. I wonder what else you can do."

I pushed Glinda behind my protectively, feeling her grip my arm tightly. "You don't want to know."

"We will see about that."


	27. Entry 27

I let out a low growl, feeling Glinda clutch my arm tighter. "Why don't you come out from behind the safety of your big gun, you coward!"

"So you can cast some spell on me? I don't think so."

"I don't need magic to kill you."

"Elphie!" the blonde hissed, sounding surprised, but I knew that his death was the only way we were going to be able to leave.

Sir Chuffery chuckled. "Your confidence reminds me of my youth. All right, we'll both be people of our words. No weapons," he said, setting his rifle aside, "and no magic."

"Fine," I said, throwing myself at him as soon as his hand left the rifle, hoping to catch him by surprise. Sir Chuffery threw an arm out, immediately decking me. I lay on my back, trying to catch my breath. Okay… that was not what I had expected.

"Elphaba!" Glinda cried.

"Stay put!" I managed to get out. I didn't want her getting involved in this. Sir Chuffery made to kick me and I caught his boot, stopping him. I swung my legs around, knocking the leg he was standing on out from underneath him. He hit the floor hard and I quickly got to me feet.

"Not bad," Sir Chuffery said as I backed out of his reach. He got to his feet. "Now let's stop playing around, shall we?"

I was about to retort with a snide comment, but chose instead to lunge for Sir Chuffery again. He grabbed me by the front of my cloak and threw me across the room, where I slammed into the doorway. Before I could recover, I felt him slam into me again. The wood splintered behind me, and it took all I had to keep back my cry of pain. This was going to be much harder than I had originally thought.

"Come on, witch! Fight back!" he said, bringing his arm back to punch me again. I caught his fist before it could make contact, and I quickly kneed him between the legs before pushing him away. I moved away from the door, my mind racing. I wouldn't be able to win unless I found some way to gain an advantage over his strength…

I heard a yell and suddenly, I found myself being lifted off my feet. Sir Chuffery had grabbed me around the waist and slammed me into the window, causing the glass to spiderweb with cracks. I fell to the floor when he released me, and my eyes fell on the ties holding the curtains back. An idea flashed through my mind, and when he grabbed me by the front of my cloak again, I knew it was the only way.

My hand shot out, yanking the cord away from the curtains. Before he could react, I wrapped it around his neck, forcing him to release me. Perhaps this was barbaric… but I had to do it. For Glinda.

A punch suddenly loosened my grip, and Sir Chuffery pulled the cord from around his neck. "Apparently you couldn't keep your word," he said before the cord was around my own neck, forcing me to my knees. I fought to free myself, but Sir Chuffery was stronger than me and soon, spots were dancing before my eyes and I felt my life begin to slip away.

* * *

My reclusive nature and green skin had always been the perfect excuse for my classmates to tease me mercilessly. While they played tag and ran about outside, I chose to sit at the base of a tree, curled up with a book. One hot spring day, our teacher brought us out to a small pond, and the others played in the water, I sat in the shade of a willow tree, reading a thick book of fairytales. A shadow fell over my page as a few of my classmates came up to me, and I braced myself for their harsh words.

"Why aren't you in the water too?"

"I don't like swimming," I replied.

"Come on. Don't be a scaredy cat."

I didn't reply, but turned the page of my book. I felt sudden hands on me, and my book fell to the ground as they began to drag me towards the pond's edge.

"Come on! Let's see if we can wash that green off."

The others laughed, but I struggled, not amused. "No… please… I can't…" I knew I couldn't go in the water; I'd know this since I was a child, but my classmates wouldn't listen. The continued to drag me towards the water, and my struggling grew more violent. Finally, a few feet from the edge, they pushed me towards the liquid, saying, "Go on!"

For a moment, I thought I was about to fall in, but I dug my feet into the ground, stopping myself. "No!"

When one boy went to push me again, I punched him across the face, and his nose immediately began spurting blood.

"The vegetable hit him!"

This squabble drew the attention of our teacher, and for my rule breaking, I was sat in time out while a note was written to my parents. But it didn't matter… trouble was better than dying.

* * *

And suddenly, I could breathe again. Through my clouded senses, I heard the window shatter, and then a sickening noise I can't quite describe. A gentle hand was one my arm, helping me to my feet.

"Elphie…?"

"Glinda… are you all right?" I asked, putting a hand on the side of her face gently.

The blonde placed her own hand over mine, looking towards the window. "I… he was going to kill you. I didn't want to lose you… not again… so I… I pushed him."

I realized then what had happened: the window had been cracked earlier from when I hit it. When Glinda pushed Sir Chuffery… he went through. Cautiously, I approached the window, looking down to see the former baronet staring back up at me blankly. Blood ran from the gaping hole in his chest where he'd fallen on a statue created in his own likeness. How ironic… yet so fitting.

When Glinda saw this, she curled up against me with a choked sob, clutching the front of my dress. "I told him not to put those so close to the house…"

"It's all right, my sweet. It's over…"

With Sir Chuffery dead, I knew that we only had a limited amount of time before his guards figured out that something was wrong.

"Glinda, pack a valise," I said, moving to close and lock the bedroom door. "We can't stay long."

"A valise?" She sounded almost appalled.

"We're traveling by broom, so space is severely limited.

Glinda didn't reply, but moved into the closet, looking at her multitude of dresses. I knew it had to be hard for her; after all, fashion was practically her life. Still, we couldn't abide such feelings at the moment.

"Glinda please..."

"I know..." Finally the blonde pulled a few dresses from their hangers, folding and packing them away in her valise. As she left the closet, she ran her hand along all the other dresses on the way, almost as if she were saying goodbye. I left her to search for my broom, soon locating it in the back of Sir Chuffery's closet, behind his suits.

"Are you ready?" I asked as I emerged from the closet.

Glinda nodded, holding her valise. "Y-yes…"

"All right. We should be off then." I mounted the broom, holding my hand out to the blonde. She looked at me apprehensively and in that moment, I saw the scared young woman staring at me in the Emerald City palace… the woman I loved, and whom I'd had to leave behind. We'd lost each other then… "Trust me."

Glinda took my hand, and as I gripped it gently, I knew that she was thinking the same thing as me: we would not make that mistake again. I pulled her onto the broom, and she sat sidesaddle style, just like a lady would. As we levitated off the floor, she wrapped her arms around my tightly, and I put an arm around her as well, holding her close just like a child as we took off through the window and into the now clearing sky.

* * *

As daylight began to spread across Oz, I felt Glinda stir from her sleep. I held her all the tighter, just in case she's forgotten where she was; I wasn't exactly looking for her to freak out (as she was prone to doing) and falling.

"Mmm… Elphie… where are we?" she asked sleepily, her eyes fluttering open.

"Somewhere over Wiccasand Turning. We should eventually come across the Gillikin River, and that will lead us back into the Vinkus to Kiamo Ko."

Glinda looked down and let out a small squeak as she clung to me tighter. "W-we're so high…"

"Well, we don't want to be slapped by trees, or spotted by others."

"I suppose…" A pause, and then the blonde sighed. "He… he's really dead… isn't he?"

"Yes. That monster will never hurt you again." I felt Glinda bury her face in my chest with a sniffle. That was not the reaction I had been expecting. "Glin?"

"I… I didn't want him to die… I longed to be away from his brutality, yes, but…"

I sighed, having expected something like this. "Glinda… you know he deserved it."

"Don't—"

"He did! Don't try and stick up for him! How many times did he force you into his bed, and then blame infertility on you?"

"Elphaba—"

"Are you telling me that you didn't once fantasize about his death?"

"Stop it!" The blonde looked up at me angrily. "Even if I did, I'm a saint, Elphaba! People look up to me to do the right thing! I have been taught to forget and forgive—"

"How could you forgive a man like that?"

"All you think about is revenge! That's why my parents are dead, and yes, I forgave you for that, but at some point, it has to be enough. You have to move on, even if it means forcing yourself to do so. You cannot hold onto this… childhood anger forever! It's not healthy!"

"Childhood? Glinda, I assure you, this is far more than rock-throwing and stolen juice boxes."

"Then what are you still holding onto?"

I looked away from her, choosing to instead focus on the horizon. In a way she was right, but admitting it would mean explaining what I had been doing before I showed up at the cloister's doorstep. And Fiyero… I pushed him from my mind. Even during my time at the cloister, I too had been taught to forget and forgive, and while I had begun to forget, I knew that I could never forgive. My anger had been suppressed, held deep within me, but now after confronting Glinda's tormentor… I could feel the flame growing. Every wrong that I'd endured… every blow, whether physical or verbal, or even emotional… I felt it all come rushing back. The floodgates had been opened, and there was no closing them now.

"You confuse my anger with unbridled rage. I know how to control my emotions; they do not control me."

"Are you sure about that?"

I kept my gaze on the endless horizon. "Yes."

* * *

Though Glinda protested (frequently and loudly) we didn't stop during our flight, and arrived at the steps of Kiamo Ko on the third night. Glinda stumbled slightly after sliding the broom, and I dismounted, taking her hand to steady her.

"Easy, my sweet," I said, giving her a small smile. We approached the jasper gates and I knocked, leaving us to wait. Soon enough, we were let in and greeted by a group of women whom I knew to be Sarima's sisters.

"_Did you ever?"_

"_Did I ever what?"_

"_Sleep with any of them!"_

"_Why Miss Elphaba, I can't believe you'd suggest that!" He rolled on top of me, proceeding to tickle me with both his fingers in my sides and his lips on my neck._

"_No, no, no, Yero, stop!"_

I shook myself from my memories as I focused on the scene at hand. While all the sisters seemed surprised to see Saint Glinda, they seemed even more intrigued with the green woman in their midst. The youngest, Six, left to retrieve Fiyero's wife, and Glinda and I were left with the others.

"Please, sit, won't you?"

Glinda and I sat, and while the blonde chatted politely, I hung back, taking up my silence again. When there was a hiatus in the conversation, I broke my silence only to ask, "Did Oatise arrive with my luggage?"

"Oh those are your things? We were wondering who this 'Sister Saint Aelphaba' was. We put your things up in the tower. I hope that's all right with you," Two said

"That's fine," I replied, much preferring the solitude of a tower to common ground.

"So those are your bees then? I'll tell you, it was hell bringing them up. Manek and Irji were stung more than once," Four said.

"My bees are not violent by nature, but like any animal or human, they will attack if provoked," I said, my expression darkening.

"Oh, well, they're boys, and you know how easily they bounce back," Two said, trying to save the conversation.

Under the table, Glinda took my hand, giving me a slight glance. I gripped her hand gently, but didn't look at her.

"Well, I never expected to see Saint Glinda in our home. How do you do?"

We looked up to see Sarima descending the stairs, and I stood quickly, pulling my hand away from the blonde. "You are Sarima."

And indeed she was. Fiyero had never described her to us; only that as a young girl, she was "homely". Well, she certainly wasn't that anymore. Her slender body seemed to float in the white gown she wore, and her dark hair fell around her shoulders. Her eyes looked sharp and inquisitive, and for a moment, I was almost intimidated by her unexpected beauty. But I remembered the blonde beside me… the woman I had risked everything to save, and Sarima's spell immediately wore off.

"Likely to be! I am Sarima, mistress of Kiamo Ko. Welcome, my friends. And who are you?"

"I have given up my name so often that I don't like to bring it out again for you."

"Well, you are welcome then, but if we have nothing else to call you by, you will have to be Auntie. Will you come in to dine? We'll be coming out soon."

"That would be love—" Glinda started.

"No. I will not eat until we speak. Not one night under your roof in false pretense, Sarima; I'd rather lie at the bottom of a lake. I knew your husband, and I've known you for a dozen years or so."

"Yes… ah! Fiyero talked of you, and your sister, Nessarose. I hear she has taken place as Eminent Thropp. And the glamorous Glinda! It never occurred to me that she and you were one in the same."

The blonde blushed, looking down.

"I should have liked a season or two at Shiz, but—"

"Before we say ten sentences of polite nonsense to each other, I have to tell you something." This was it. This was what I had waited five years to do. Even with Glinda listening, I had to admit my guilt. "I think I was the cause of Fiyero's death—"

"Well, you're not the only one," Sarima interrupted. "It's a national pastime out here, blaming ourselves for the death of the prince. Even I blame myself."

My fingers twisted, trying to find some space between Sarima's opinions. This was not how this was supposed to go! "I can tell you how, I want to—"

"Not unless I want to hear it, which is my prerogative. This is my house, and I choose to hear what I want."

"You must hear it so that I can be forgiven!" My shoulders twisted like a beast of burden with an invisible yoke.

"If I remember rightly, you are Elphaba, the one who doesn't believe in souls. I remember that much, so what's to forgive?"

I started to protest; I needed this! But Sarima placed a delicate finger over my lips, silencing me.

"You must be weary; I know it's impossible to get here without being weary, so you need a good hot meal and a few nights of rest, and we'll chat some morning next week?" She linked her arm with mine and began to lead me into the dining room. "I'll preserve your name from them; my sisters are the nosiest people." As she led me through the doors, she called, "Look who's here: Auntie Guest. Welcome her as you do me."

What a welcome that would be, for it appeared that the sisters all despised Sarima, perhaps for being the eldest, and marrying someone who would die so soon.

As we sat down to eat, Glinda slid in the seat beside me, not looking too thrilled with being ignored by the mistress of the castle. "What's this about Fiyero?" she hissed.

"Later," was all I said before I fell silent. I did not speak throughout the entire meal, instead keeping my gaze on the plate and devouring the fruit and cheese set before me, though I refused to touch the fish. The sisters seemed happy that I was miserable, and after the meal ended, I stomped upstairs to the tower to check on my things. I found the bees humming happily enough, though they seemed to perk up upon my entrance.

"Elphaba, don't you dare try to hide up… up… here…" I heard the blonde's voice fail her and I turned to see her gaze locked on the bees.

"I am not hiding in the slightest. This is where my things were placed, so I am merely following them. And you needn't fear the bees my sweet. They won't harm you."

"I… w-what's this about Fiyero's death?"

I sighed, holding a hand out and watching as a few bees flew out to land on my fingers. "Surely you heard that he'd been killed?"

"Well, yes, but why did you tell Sarima it was your fault? Why do you need her forgiveness?"

"The details will only upset you."

"Elphaba…"

"Glinda, all you need to know is that I went to your cloister for sanctuary. I took a vow of silence for a reason, and the only person with whom I will break that vow with is Sarima, so if you please, drop it!"

Glinda looked taken aback, and her gaze went to the floor. "A-all right, Elphaba…"

Guilt replaced my anger and the bees flew off my hand as I approached the blonde, embracing her. "I'm sorry… I just… there are certain things… I just don't want you to know about me…"

"I just wish… you'd trust me."

"Glinda, this isn't about trust. Please… I promise, one day, everything will make sense."

The blonde sniffled, pulling away. "Okay Elphie… I believe you." She gave me a small smile before looking around the room. "This seems like your type of place… it's cozy."

"It fits a witch."

"Is that what you are now?"

I shrugged. "That's what people say. It's not an entirely unlikeable disguise."

Glinda smiled slightly before she sat on the bed, running her hand over the threadbare blanket. "Do you remember the last time we were able to just… be alone?"

I sat beside her. "I do believe it was the night before I..." I didn't finish, and Glinda took my hand.

"Elphie… I really did… miss you." She leaned in close, and our lips met for the first time in five years. I pulled her close out of instinct, and I felt her push my dress up, running her hand along my thigh.

"I missed you too…" The blonde pulled at my dress, and I chuckled softly. "Is there something you want?"

"Your bare skin against mine."

Well, it had been some time since THAT. Still, how could I deny my good witch anything? I stood, stripping off my dress before I gently pushed her down onto the bed, holding myself over her. The blonde bit her lower lip slightly as I undid the ties on her dress, pushing it from her body. I leaned down to kiss her neck, surprised at the softness of it.

Glinda made quick work of the remaining clothing and soon enough, our bare bodies were in close contact, lips kissing whatever skin they could reach. I ran my hands over her chest, my breath hitching in my throat. I had forgotten how full her breasts were… compared to my own…

Her hand was wandering down the taught muscles of my stomach and came to rest between my legs. My hand did the same and our eyes met for a few moments. The trust was still there, and simultaneously, we entered each other.

We clung to each other… gripped at sheets and hair… dug our nails into flesh… worshipped the other with gentle kisses. Together, the pink bubbles danced brighter on the green field than they ever had before.

And when it had passed, we lay in each other's arms, panting, but happy.

"I love you, Elphie…" Glinda breathed, brushing a few strands of raven hair from my face.

"I love you too…"

We slept in a dreamless bliss that night.

* * *

Since it was obvious that Sarima wanted nothing to do with me at this time, I chose to spend the next day wandering around Kiamo Ko. The castle itself was grand, but being here only reminded me of my sin, and I wanted Sarima to forgive me so Glinda and I could leave and just… be together elsewhere. Somewhere that no one would bother us.

"_There's a place for us, somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air wait for us somewhere_."

"Elphie?"

I turned at the sound of the blonde's voice. "Glinda…"

The blonde smiled, approaching me and wrapping her arms around mine, leaning against my shoulder. "I love you so much…"

I placed a hand over hers. "I love you too… which is why I need Sarima's forgiveness. All I want… is to be with you… far away, where nothing and no one can ever get to us."

Glinda smiled. "_There's a time for us, some day a time for us, time together with time to spare, time to look, time to care, some day_."

I placed my chin on the top of her head, wrapping my other arm around her. "_Somewhere. We'll find a new way of living._"

"_We'll find a way of forgiving, somewhere_…"

"_There's a place for us, a time and place for us. Hold my hand and we're halfway there. Hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow, some day, somewhere!_"

As we drew apart, I was about to comment when my gaze fell on Killjoy. I moved to the edge of the balcony, watching the dog return with something in his jaws.

"Oh, sweet Lurline… is that… a baby?" Glinda asked with faint horror.

I knew that making my way all the way down to the gates would take far too long, and a jump would mean death, but _I went over the railing anyway_. The air itself seemed to catch me as I fell, and I landed gently, hardly registering the fact that I had been more than a hundred feet off the ground seconds earlier. I ran towards Killjoy, and scolded him before prying his jaws apart and freeing the creature. It was a snow monkey, and he looked at me with wide, black eyes, unsure of my intentions. I wrapped the poor thing in my cloak before I retreated back into the castle, Killjoy following and sulking over being denied the kill.

"Elphie, are you all right? What in Oz's name were you thinking?" Glinda practically shrieked, running down the stairs.

"I'm fine."

Glinda looked at the animal in my arms. "Aww… the poor thing… was he abandoned or separated from his mother?"

"I'm sure I don't know."

The monkey, whom I called Chistery because of the sounds he made, didn't think much of Killjoy, but he seemed to enjoy the warmth of the tower, and hopped around the room, chattering. I watched him with slight intrigue, smiling slightly.

"It's a menagerie in here," Glinda observed from the doorway. Killjoy had gotten over his sulking and was now bounding around my feet, apparently happy at seeing his mistress again.

"Excuse me," a voice said, and Glinda looked down to see Liir moving past her into the room.

"Oh, so you decided to come too," I said.

"I can take care of Killjoy, and collect the honey," Liir said, fearlessly sticking his hand into the tree joint.

"Easy. If you crush the queen there won't be any honey to collect."

Liir didn't reply as he began filling a jar with the golden liquid. After finishing, he left, Killjoy following happily.

Glinda looked at me with wide eyes. "Who was that?"

"Liir."

"Is he Sarima's? He looks so much like Fiyero."

"I'm sure I don't know."

"He acted as though he knew you…"

I shrugged, not particularly wanting to admit anything to Glinda.

"Elphaba… if he doesn't belong to Sarima… but seems so familiar with you… is he—"

"Don't say it."

"He's your son?"

I inhaled sharply at that. "I have no say in this matter, and I would prefer we drop it."

"He is, isn't he? Why didn't you tell me? You must have him during your stay in the cloister! And…" The blonde's hands flew to cover her mouth. "You slept with Fiyero?"

"Oz, could you be any louder Glinda? Yes, yes, I slept with him! Happy?"

The good witch looked bewildered. "But… how…"

"Please, this is what I didn't want to tell you. It didn't mean anything… I don't even know how it happened."

Glinda still didn't reply, and I feared I may have pushed my luck too far this time.

"Glinda, please… you know I only love you."

"I… I know… I just can't believe…" She looked into my eyes. "Elphie… you're a mother."

And then I knew why this mattered. I had what she had always wanted. Of all the things she'd done, I had done the one thing Glinda the Good could never do: I had brought life into this world.

**Song used: Somewhere from West Side Story**


	28. Entry 28

Sarima's sisters avoided me like the plague, though I often felt them spying on Glinda and I, almost as if trying to catch us doing something worth gossiping about. While Glinda felt scrutinized under their gaze, I ignored them. Sarima's three children, however, were much harder to ignore, seeing as they injected themselves into any business that they could. They were convinced I was witch (which wasn't far off) and that Glinda was a sorceress.

One day, while taking the morning tea, I heard laughter and children came running through the room, soon disappearing. I was about to return to my tea sipping when a breathless Glinda came soon after.

"Problems?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just… the children…"

"Ah. What did they do this time?"

"Well… they don't know any better…"

I rolled my eyes. "Your heart is far too soft my sweet. Not all children are innocent."

Laughter and the four tore through the room again. Glinda turned, calling, "It isn't polite to take things that aren't yours!" She sighed. "Oh dear…"

I chuckled slightly, and Glinda turned on me. "What's so funny, Elphaba?"

"Just you."

"Well, I'm so glad I could amuse you!"

I could tell that the blonde was growing frustrated, so when I heard the children approaching again, I shouted, "If you don't return what you stole from Glinda, I'll turn you all into newts!"

A pause before they came walking into the room, and my eyes fell on the wand in Nor's hands. "We just wanted to see if it worked," she said.

"It was Nor's stupid idea anyway!" Manek said.

"Even so, you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you," Glinda said with a forced smile, taking her wand from Nor.

"Your magic is boring," Manek added, looking at Glinda. "Let's go outside and play with Killjoy."

The others agreed and started for the door.

"Wait!" Glinda called. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

As his response, Manek kicked her in the shin and then they were gone. I couldn't help but burst into laughter; I was sure that wasn't what Glinda had in mind.

"You're terrible," Glinda said, limping over to the chair across from me and sitting down.

"I'm sorry my sweet, but I tried to warn you. Those children are incorrigible."

"You would think that a woman of Sarima's standing would have raised her children better."

"One would think…"

* * *

I don't usually say things I don't mean, so when I say that Sarima's children were awful, I should be trusted. And they really were. I once overheard Nor telling her brothers that she'd taken a few straws from my "magic broom", to which the boys replied that they were going down into the pantry to catch mice and "prick their eyes with Nor's magic straws". As is the fact that she'd gone into my room without permission weren't bad enough, now they were going to torture defenseless animals.

I made my way to the pantry, my footsteps almost inaudible, even off the stone walls. I found the four in the pantry, and as I approached, I gave Liir's behind a slight kick, not nearly hard enough to hurt him. He fell over before getting to his feet, realizing it was me and tapping the others to get their attention.

"What?" Irji asked, sounding irritated.

"What trouble are you causing now?" I asked, crossing my arms.

The others turned around, mumbling "nothing" before they all ran off, giggling. Liir cast a glance back at me before he too fled. I sighed and was about to leave myself when a pitiful squeaking noise caught my attention. I turned back and knelt down, my gaze falling first on a puddle of blood, and then a trail of drops. Eventually, the trail ended at a small mouse with bloodied eyes. The poor creature was continually running into the wall, squeaking with fear or confusion or pain… or all three… I didn't know.

Shaking my head at the cruelty of children (which was nothing new to me), I pulled the small rodent away from wall and deposited him right in front of his mouse hole. The creature disappeared and I stood, leaving the pantry.

I decided that I wouldn't tell Glinda about this.

* * *

One particularly cold night, I found Glinda sitting in front of the fireplace, a blanket wrapped tightly around her in an attempt to keep our the cold.

"I see that someone is a tad chilly," I said with a slight chuckle.

Glinda made a face at me before she returned to her sketch. "Sit with me, you awful green thing."

"Well, you put it like that, how can I say no?" I sat behind the blonde, pulling the blanket around us both and allowing her to curl up in my arms.

"Oh, Elphie… I missed this so much."

"What part exactly?"

"Just being able to be with you. No one trying to kill us… or watching us. Just me and you… it's wonderful."

My chin came to rest on the top of her head with a sigh. "Glinda… when we do eventually leave Kiamo Ko… you know I want to give you everything you ask for."

"Elphie, you don't need to prove anything to me. All I want is you… and a nice little place to stay… preferably with heating… and I'll be the happiest woman in Oz."

"So after everything… you're sure I'm the on you want? Even if… something else should happen, Oz forbid?"

Glinda looked at me. "Elphaba Thropp, I love you, and only you. What do you think the answer to that question is?"

I smiled slightly, looking down before I slid a worn ring off my finger. "My mother… gave this to me before she died. It's one of the few things I have left of her…" I looked the blonde in the eyes. "Glinda, I love you, and I would do anything to keep you safe. I… I don't know if I can commit to marriage yet, not until I know for sure we'll be safe, but I want you to know… that you're the only person I'll ever want. So… this is for you…"

The blonde's eyes filled with tears as I slid the ring onto her finger. "Elphie…" She hugged me tightly, kissing me passionately. "I love you too… so much… and while I'd love to marry you and call you mine forever… for you, I will wait."

* * *

About a week after we arrived, Six came to fetch me, saying that Sarima wished to speak with me. I looked over at Glinda before I stood, following Sarima's sister to the Solar.

"You've been here for a week now, and it's likely to be longer," Sarima said after I had entered and we were alone. "The trail north is snowed in by now, and there are no safe havens between here and the plains." She moved to pour cups of teas, holding her dress at the collar with one hand, which I thought was a tad odd, but I mentioned nothing of it. "I do not know what you had intended… after you sufficiently visited us, I mean."

"I have heard of small caves in these Kells," I said, more to myself than Sarima. "While I resided in the cloister of Saint Glinda, people would talk to us, even when we'd taken a vow of silence. I had thought that after I finished here I would take myself up in a cave... and..."

"And set up housekeeping," Sarima supplied, saying it as though what I'd suggested was as normal as marrying and childbearing. I know people do it; I've heard of an older hermit taking up such a life and reverting to a primitive nature."

"A life without words."

"I've also heard that he's forgotten about personal hygiene. Seeing as how much my own sons smell after a few days without bathing, I assume he uses it as a sort of defense against marauding beasts."

"I didn't expect to stay for very long," I said, twisting to look at Sarima. I had to get this conversation moving in the direction I wanted. "Two or three days at most, and then find myself a little hidey-hole before winter, but I was thinking of winter at Shiz and the Emerald City. I'd forgotten that you're six weeks ahead."

"Ahead in the autumn and behind in the spring unfortunately," Sarima sighed. "Now, my new friend, I have some things to say to you."

"As do I."

"You will think me an unpolished person, and you would be right. I know, a child bride chosen at age seven, though I did learn politeness. Now Fiyero fancied himself quite the scholar, being able to attend Shiz while I could not. He wrote me letters during his stay in the Emerald City, and I'm sure he thought I could not read them."

I didn't quite understand where Sarima was going with this, so I asked, "Could you?"

"Eventually, yes. I taught myself how to make words and read, and I admit I was slow at first, but I am improving. I know I make social mistakes, and you may snigger behind my back."

"I am not given to sniggering."

"As it may be. I still have opinions, even though I have not been officially schooled. Raised as I was, behind walls and curtains, I developed my own sense of things and will not be dissuaded." She held a hand up when I made to interrupt." "Let me continue. There is plenty of time, and the sun is nice in here, isn't it? My little hideaway."

My hands clenched and unclenched a few times, wishing that Sarima would just get to the point.

"Now you have come here to relieve some bad business. Don't look so startled, I can tell when people are carrying burdens. Remember, I listen to my sisters day in and day out graciously tell me how much they hate me and why. You want to throw down a burden at my feet, or perhaps across my shoulders. You want to weep a little, and then say goodbye and leave. And once you walk out that door, you will walk right out of the world altogether."

"I will do no such thing."

"Oh, you will indeed. You will have no ties to the world. Well, I know my limits, Auntie Guest, and I know what you're here for. You already told me, in the hall. You feel responsible for Fiyero's death."

"I—"

"Don't. Just don't. This is my home, and I have a right to hear, and a right not to hear."

"I—"

"Don't."

"But I don't want to burden you, Sarima. I want to unburden you with the truth. If you permit me—"

"No."

"Do you know how he died, at least?"

"I know it was a violent action. I know his body was never found. I know it was in a little love nest. I don't care to know who it was exactly, but I have heard enough about that vile Sir Chuffery to—"

"Sir Chuffery!" I stood angrily at the mention of his name. How dare she compare either Yero of myself to such a man!

"I said _no_. No more. Now I have an offer to make, if you'll accept. You and the boy may have the southern tower. You'll have your own staircase, so neither my sisters nor the children should bother you. I will let you stay on the condition that you accept my firmest word on this matter. I don't wish to discuss my husband's death will you."

I was horror-struck at this, and beaten down. What could I do? "I have no choice but to accept, at least for the time being. There are things you need to hear, as well as I, and I cannot live without your solemn promise to—"

"Enough!"

I was taken aback by that, and I fell silent.

"I'm sure there are things I could ask you that you would refuse to answer, despite my curiosity."

"This is not a matter of curiosity."

"Perhaps not, but in any case, we will leave the subject of Fiyero alone… and I will not question your relationship with Saint Glinda."

I didn't reply to that.

"But while we are on the subject of things we don't wish to discuss, tell me: what is it like, being with another woman?"

"You misunderstand my intentions if you think these two matters are related."

"But tell me how you enjoy it, being asked questions you have expressed desire not to answer. To have your privacy scrutinized by a stranger."

"This is not the same thing! I need your forgiveness to move on!" I shouted, finally losing my temper.

Sarima stood, approaching me quickly. "My forgiveness will do nothing for someone without a soul!"

"A soul is only a symbol for everlasting torture, and though I do not care to have one, guilt still weighs heavily on my mind!"

"This is about your conscience then!"

"Forgive me or don't, but don't toy with me!"

And suddenly, Sarima had pushed herself up onto her toes and was pressing her lips against mine in a fierce kiss. I was so shocked I couldn't react. What… what in Oz's name was she doing? Had we not just been fighting? Why was the wife of the man whose fault was mine that he was dead kissing me? I heard a soft whoosh of fabric and it occurred to me that Sarima had released her dress, letting it pool around her feet. Now it made sense why she'd been holding it.

But wait. That meant… I was standing in the Solar with the Dowager Princess of the Arjikis in her underwear… and we were kissing.

NOT GOOD!

I finally managed to push her away. "What are you doing? You can't… we're not… I am already devoted to someone else!"

"Yes, I noticed the ring on Glinda's finger… just as I'm sure you saw Fiyero's."

I inhaled softly at that. "I see… it would appear you aren't as uneducated as you'd like me to think."

"I am observant, and the way you keep pleading for forgiveness… well, it wasn't exactly hard to figure out. Still, I was willing to overlook it, had you not continued to pressure me. I am still willing."

"So are you trying to use this as some sort of blackmail? Would you tell Glinda that I was unfaithful to her with you?"

"No, but I would let you carry the guilt. With a man, such as Fiyero, it's different. But with another woman…"

I shook my head. "We will forget this incident ever happened… but I warn you, Sarima, I intend to befriend you so thoroughly that you will change you mind, and we will talk again." I turned and left the Solar, doing all I could to keep myself from trembling.

* * *

Winter settled and took the castle in its grasp, and I soon learned to stay in a room with a fireplace. Aside from Glinda, I didn't care for any of the human company here. I don't know where Liir curled up to sleep at night, but he was in the tower every morning, changing the rags at the bottom of the crows' perch and collecting honey. Sometimes he brought us cocoa too.

Lurlinemas was approaching, and decorations were brought out, but they looked so tired and had lost all of their gilt. The children decided they would help too, and as I was walking through the archway leading to the kitchen, I felt my forehead hit something. I took a step back, growling slightly. I heard giggles and looked up to see Manek and Irji on the staircase before they fled. Apparently they had tied some baubles and toys to all the archways, and were taking delight in watching all the adults hit their heads. I shook my head before I ducked and sat down at the table.

"Too bad you aren't short like me. You could just walk under those traps," Glinda said with a grin.

"Let's not discuss the consequences of what would happen if I were as short as you."

The blonde made a face and went to sip her tea when a sudden bark caused her to jump. Killjoy came bounding in, jumping up and placing his front paws in my lap. His tongue hung out of his mouth as he panted, but he'd learned long ago that licking me was unacceptable.

"He certainly seems energetic," Glinda observed.

"As usual," I said, scratching him between his ears before I stood. "Come on, Killjoy. Let's go for a walk." The dog bounded happily around my legs, his tail wagging furiously as we headed for the door. "Care to join us, Glin?"

"Hmm… walk outside in the bitter cold or curl up by the fireplace… it's a tough call…"

I laughed. "I get it blondie. We'll be back."

Killjoy loved being outside. He ran down the icy paths, jumping in and out of snow piles, smelling anything and everything, looking for prey. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him, my boots providing enough traction to keep me from slipping on the ice. Still, my mind wandered. After what had happened with Sarima… was it possible that she would ever forgive me? She knew it was my fault that Fiyero was dead, yet she refused to speak about it. If I brought it up, she would only change the subject to Glinda, and that just wouldn't do. So what was I to do? I could not live with this guilt forever.

I realized that I had lost sight of Killjoy during my musings, and I called out for him. A few moments later, his head popped up from a snow pile and he came lolloping towards me, sliding on the ice and bumping into the back of my legs as I started back for the castle.

"Elphaba."

I looked up to see Sarima standing at the doorway. Killjoy ran off somewhere as I approached her.

"Would you come with me to the Solar?"

I nodded and followed her through the castle to the Solar, closing the door behind us. "I see your sisters have been knitting potholders for the less fortunate."

"I suppose such charity is not unfamiliar to you," Sarima replied, pouring a cup of coffee for us each of us.

"Our charity in the cloister was taking in those who were ill and making an attempt at nursing them back to health… but more often than not we just watched them die."

"Sounds depressing."

"I can deal with death." I sat down across the brunette, wondering why she always bothered to pour coffee for me. I never drank it.

"I hate to say it, but seeing as I do enjoy having someone else besides my sisters to talk to… they have taken to calling you Auntie Witch. They think I don't hear, but the children say it too."

"I don't much mind what they call me. I'm sure I can come up with a rather long list of all the things they call you."

Sarima laughed. "I'm sure you could. Oh, I am well aware of my sisters' hatred for me. It's pastime for them, and perhaps they can't be blamed. They are all younger than me, but because I am now widowed, they cannot ever marry."

I did not voice my opinion on this matter, but looked down at my interlocked fingers. Oz, I was twenty-nine years old… and already I felt as though I'd gone through a full life. Shiz and its innocence seemed so far away… and yet here, the biggest problem was not being able to marry. Did I envy such petty concerns? Well, I didn't really feel envy anymore, did I? Still, their lives did seem so much simpler than my own… but simple lives were hardly exciting. At least I would have stories to tell Liir, if under the unlikely circumstance I ever chose to accept him as my son.

"Elphaba?"

I looked up. "I… apologize. I was thinking…"

"Yes, that seems to be something you enjoy. The south tower seems perfect for you."

"It suits me…"

"And Saint Glinda it seems."

"We agreed not to bring her up."

"I apologize, but humor me: she was married to Sir Chuffery, was she not? And now I've heard of his death."

"Are you trying to imply something, or force a confession out of me?" I asked, growing impatient and slightly angry at the mention of Sir Chuffery.

"My, you just seem to have a guilty conscience," Sarima said, sipping her coffee calmly.

I was about to reply when the sudden sound of clattering pans caught my attention. I left the Solar to investigate, soon finding that source of the noise had come from the kitchen. I threw the door open so hard that it slammed into the wall.

"All this commotion, how can you hear yourselves think?" I cried. My eyes fell on Chistery, who was on top of the cabinets, and Sarima's sisters looking poised to trap him in their floury aprons. "What the hell is going on here?"

"No need to yell," Two said, almost sulkily, but they all lowered their aprons.

"I mean, what is really going on here? You all look like Killjoy with bloodlust on your faces! You're white with rage trying to catch the poor thing!"

"I think it's flour, not rage." The others giggled at that.

My anger flared at that. "Chistery come down from there right now. You women deserve to be unmarried, so you don't bring any savage, horrible children into the world. Don't you ever lay a hand on this monkey, do you hear me? How did he get out of my room anyway? I was in the Solar with your sister."

"Oh… oh Auntie, I'm sorry. It was us," Nor said.

I turned on her, and she shrunk back against the wall. "What were you skulking around in my room for?"

"Some paper," Nor replied faintly. "I made some paintings for everyone, do you want to see, come on."

With Chistery in my arms, I followed Nor into the hallway, where drafts from the front door had blown the papers against the wall. Sarima's sisters watched from a safe distance as I stooped to pick the papers up. I grew quiet as I realized just what Nor had found. Glinda's drawings from Shiz… ruined…

"This is my paper. I didn't say you could use it. Look, it had words on the back. Do you know what words are?" I asked, doing all I could to keep from smacking the child across the room, and cracking a few of the sisters' heads together.

"Of course. Do you think I'm slow?" Nor retorted sassily.

"You leave my papers alone." I ran up the stairs, slamming the tower door behind me. Once alone, I sat, trying to determine if I could salvage the drawings. How I hated Sarima's children! Why even now must I be plagued with such company! Had I not endured it enough at Shiz?

"Elphie?"

I looked up, trying to stuff the drawings away, but Glinda appeared through the doorway before I could.

"What was the commotion downstairs?"

"Chistery was in the kitchen."

"How did he get out?"

"Nor came rummaging through here. I hate those children."

"Elphaba… I'm sure she didn't mean any harm."

"She took my paper and drew illegible scribbles all over it! Paper isn't easy to come by!"

"Please, you're getting yourself wound up for nothing." Glinda took the papers from my hands, even though I resisted. "O-oh…"

"Now you see why I was upset."

"Well… I can always draw new ones."

"I don't want new ones! Don't you understand? It's the principle! These are the only things we have left from Shiz, a time when things were so simple and…" I couldn't finish.

Glinda wrapped her arms around me. "I miss those days too… but we're here now. And we're still together. I know your memories mean a lot to you; I feel the same, but eventually we make new memories… like we're doing now."

I sighed before I looked at her. "I've lost so much… and that makes me cling even tighter to what little I have left. But even so… I'm not strong enough to lose you."

The good witch kissed me gently. "You won't."

* * *

The next morning was Lurlinemas, and I was awakened not by the children, but by Glinda, who was jumping on me excitedly.

"Wake up Elphie!"

I rolled over with a groan. "Glinda, we are far past the age where this is acceptable."

"I don't believe that in the slightest, now get up!"

I pulled the pillow over my head. "Lurlinemas makes me ill."

"No excuses!" Glinda poked me in the side, which unfortunately was still a ticklish spot. I let out a yelp and fell out of bed, crashing onto the floor. I heard Glinda giggling, and I scowled up at her.

"Now I really have an excuse to dislike Lurlinemas."

"Elphie, don't be like that. Why don't you like Lurlinemas? I remember you celebrated it with me at Shiz… that was when we first…" She blushed and looked down.

"That is only one good memory in a very long line of unpleasant ones…"

_"The holidays make me ill."_

_"You're exaggerating. Everyone loves Lurlinemas. My children look forward to it every year."_

_"Because they are only children. You keep them in ignorance with trinkets, just as my mother did for us. After she passed away, the holidays became nothing but a faded memory."_

_"I really can't change your mind?"_

_"No, so please drop it."_

_"Even if I tried to bring you back to that ignorance, even for a moment?"_

_A scarf was suddenly placed around my shoulders, and I touched it lightly. "Yero…"_

_"You deserve to enjoy a little holiday magic too."_

"Elphaba…" The blonde's arm wrapped around me pulled me from my reveries. "I'm sorry for whatever you had to endure… but please, I want to make this a wonderful experience for the both of us… please let me try?"

I sighed, but had to give in upon seeing the pout on her face. "Fine, but only for you. I refuse to stray far from this tower."

The blonde pushed herself up onto her toes to give me a kiss. "Thank you Elphie." She pulled away with a giggle. "And if that's the case, then let me stray down to the kitchen and fetch us some holiday breakfast before it's all gobbled up." Glinda flounced away and I was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

I left my room and stood at the top of the staircase, my eyes following the blonde until she disappeared through an archway. Glinda… she was trying so hard for me… and I wondered if she had truly recovered from those five traumatic years. Her outward appearance said yes, but I knew my good witch; she was exceptionally talented at hiding her true feelings. With a sigh, I prepared to return to my witch's room when running footsteps caught my attention, and my gaze fell on the four children running towards a wicker basket. Sarima's children each pulled out a small box, filled with a small assortment of treats.

"Where's mine?" Liir asked.

"Don't see one with your name on it. Maybe Preenella left it at your old house. Where did you used to live?" Irji said.

"I don't know," Liir replied before he began to cry.

I inhaled softly at the sight, feeling an odd maternal pulse. I quickly turned away and started for my room.

"You can have the tail, just the tail, of my gingerbread mouse," I heard Nor say right before I closed the door, leaning against it. Damn these maternal instincts! Just by nature, I couldn't shake them. Ignoring them was a bit easier, but there were times... just because I don't believe in the legends associated with this holiday... did that mean Liir had to be punished too? Was it right to keep him in such ignorance at this age, especially in the presence of his peers?

I closed my eyes, muttering, "Curse you Yero... you just couldn't leave me be, could you?"

When Liir came up into the tower to perform his morning chores, my eyes were fixed on the blank page in front of me, twisting my pfenix quill in my hands. As I heard him changing the rags, I said, "So did Lurline and Preenella visit last night?"

"Yes." I waited for him to mention the oversight, but he never did. He finished with the rags and moved to collect the honey in a jar. I raised an eyebrow, still waiting. "Did the others receive my message about my not wanting to be disturbed today?"

"I think so." The jar filled, Liir moved to put it in the small cupboard where all the others were kept.

Upon hearing him pause, I asked, "What is it? Is it full?"

Liir extracted a small wicker basket, his eyes wide. "Is this my name?" he asked, pulling on the tag.

I looked up. "L-I-I-R. Liir. I suppose so."

He looked inside the basket, withdrawing an orange, a small brass whistle, a carved wooden sparrow, and a gingerbread dog, bigger than any of the ones Sarima's children had receieved.

"Hmm. I guess Preenella didn't overlook you," I said with a shrug before looking back at my paper. I felt a sudden pair of small arms around me in a hug, and then Liir was gone, taking his treasures with him.

"I saw that Liir had a basket. I do wonder who left it for him?" Glinda said with sly smile as she entered the room a few minutes later, two steaming mugs of cocoa in her hands.

My reply was a grunt.

I will deny to this day that I did anything… but no child should be overlooked while they still believe in "a little holiday magic".


	29. Entry 29

When they weren't singing carols as loud as they could with Sarima's sisters, the children were outside, pelting each other with snowballs. The snow that landed on the caste had melted and dripped through the walls and ceiling. I took to wearing my hat inside so as to avoid being hit by an icy dart.

"Elphie!" Glinda came practically dancing into the room in a flurry of blondeness, and I was reminded briefly of our Shiz days. "Sorry I took so long."

"I hardly noticed."

Glinda made a face, flicking my ear.

"Ow! What was that?"

"Don't try and fool me by acting all indifferent. I know how you truly feel about me."

I didn't reply, but continued to rub my ear.

"This is for you, even though I don't know if you deserve it now."

I looked at the wrapped package she was holding out to me. "What is this?"

"You know perfectly well. Happy Lurlinemas Elphie."

I took the present from her, and it occurred to me that I had neglected to get her anything. Slowly, I unwrapped it, opening the box inside and pulling out a pair of black boots.

"Your old ones are about to fall apart, and I know you're stubborn, so I decided I would replace them for you."

I smiled slightly. Of course her concern was ever on my fashion. "You're so thoughtful my sweet." I leaned over, taking off my old, worn out boots and slipping on my new ones.

"Do they fit?"

I straightened up. "Yes. Thank you."

The good witch sidled next to me, curling into my side as she wrapped her arms around one of mine. "I love you, Elphie."

"I love you too… and I apologize. I did not realize we would be exchanging gifts, or I would have been more prepared."

"It's all right. You already gave me a gift anyway."

"I did?" Was I now sleepwalking and giving gifts?

The blonde held her hand up, revealing my mother's ring. "Mm-hm. The best gift ever."

Glinda and I spent the rest of day in the tower, though we did not spend it all engaging in intimate activities, so push that thought from your mind. As the sun began to set, the blonde had fallen asleep, one arm and leg draped over me. I smiled down at her, brushing some hair from her face. She seemed happy enough… but we couldn't make a life here. Not in the home of the woman who was widowed because of me. Still, if I forced Glinda to move again, there was the possibility of danger, and I knew that the good witch didn't want that.

The blonde in question stirred in her sleep, holding me a little closer. A small smile formed on her face, and she mumbled, "My Elphie."

And just like at Shiz, my heart melted yet again.

* * *

A few days after Lurlinemas, Glinda had decided to step out on some errand or another, so I chose to make my way up to the outside parapet. Upon arriving, I found that Sarima had apparently had the same idea.

"Oh, Auntie Witch. I see you came to enjoy the morning view as well."

I didn't reply, but merely looked out across the expansive landscape. I could see far across the Vinkus, my vision blocked only by the mountain that rose out of the landscape.

"I apologize, but I didn't see you during Lurlinemas, so I was not able to give you these."

I looked at the brunette and saw that she was holding a bag out to me. "Sarima, you didn't have to—"

"Oh, it's not from me. It was sent here, and arrived on Lurlinemas Eve. I don't know how the sender knew you were here…"

Taking the bag from her, I saw my name written on the label. I shared Sarima's confusion… that is, I did until I opened the bag, and my heart shot into my throat.

My glass orb and the Grimmerie. I had left both of those things back in the Emerald City. Only two people would have known: Garrett and… Fiyero.

"Auntie Witch, you're turning an awfully pale green."

I quickly shut the bag, as if by doing that I could shut out my past. "I… it's nothing. Thank you…" I quickly turned and fled down the stairs, running into my witch's room and slamming the door. How… how could this have happened? Yero… was dead… how could he have sent these? And if it had been Garrett… oh, Oz, did he know I was here? If he did, I had to move. Once again, I was endangering so many innocent lives. And Glinda… but how could I bear to separate from her again? I don't think either of us could handle that another time around.

"Elphaba!"

The blonde's call jerked me from my reverie and I looked up just as she came flouncing through the door. She had a bag of her own, and she closed the door behind her as she said, "Now don't get me wrong, the Vinkus is nice and all, but it does not boast an ideal form of shopping."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Well, I like stores that stay in one place and can be visited whenever one chooses, not a caravan that comes by on some odd schedule."

"I see." A pause, in which Glinda was looking at me expectantly. "Would you like to show me what you bought?"

"Why yes, thank you for asking!" The blonde chose to sit in my lap, forcing my arms to move to accommodate her. "First off, I bought myself a new dress—"

"I'm surprised you found anything up here that suites your high fashion tastes."

"Don't be mean, Elphie. I just got tired of wearing the same outfits," the good witch replied, folding the somewhat faded turquoise dress. "Besides you should be nice to me."

"Oh? Am I not?"

"No, and you really should, especially after I found these." Glinda extracted a green apple, looking back at me with a slight grin.

"All right, my sweet. You win." I placed my hand over hers to take the apple, and she turned, catching me in a kiss.

Upon pulling away. Glinda smiled and said, "Now what's in your bag?"

My own expression fell. "Nothing important."

"Elphie…" The blonde took my face gently in her hands, leaning in to kiss me again, this time drawing it out. When she pulled away, I noticed that she had taken my bag with her. Oh, she was a sneaky one.

"Glin—"

She opened it and looked inside before I could stop her. Her brow furrowed, and she looked back up at me. "Where did these come from?"

I couldn't think of a suitable lie, so I said, "I don't know. Sarima only just gave them to me today."

"You… you had these… in the Emerald City…?"

"Yes."

"Well then, who sent them to you?"

"I don't know."

Glinda lowered the bag slowly. "Elphaba… when you went to my cloister for whatever reason and took a vow of silence, I respected that. I couldn't imagine what had happened to you, but I forgave you nonetheless, and not just because of my sainthood. But now… I am asking you as the woman I love and trust more than anyone in Oz: what happened to you after you left me at Shiz?"

I had been dreading this question for years. How could I tell Glinda the truth? How could I relive and face my past by telling the witch I loved all the horrible, awful things I'd done?

"If I told you… you would hate me," I replied, looking down.

"I could never hate you, not now… not after everything we've been through."

"Trust me… the truth will hurt you more than when I killed your parents."

I felt gentle hands on my face, and I found myself looking into sapphire eyes. "Elphaba… please… I love you so much, and even though we may never marry, I want to help carry your burdens. I can tell that these past years have really taken their toll on you. I just want to help you."

I sighed. "Don't you think I know all that? Everything I've held inside… it's all my burden, Glinda. I can't… I can't force you to bear it too. The less you know, the safer you are." I took her hands in my own. "Please… please try to understand why I am doing this. It's not to spite you…"

Her bottom lip quivered as she said, "You can't even tell me why you killed my parents?"

I pulled her into my lap, feeling her cling to the front of my dress. "I wish it had been different… I wish your parents weren't the ones behind the Animal oppression…"

"So… are you trying to tell me… that if they hadn't been… you wouldn't have killed them?"

I stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head. "Yes…"

"I… I suppose I should feel…"

"No, you don't need to feel any way. Just… please don't ask me anymore."

"A-all right…"

* * *

It was about a week after this tearful conversation that I was returning to the tower after a failed attempt at speaking with Sarima's sisters. Since the window seemed so set against me and forgiveness, I had hoped that I could speak to her sisters about it in an attempt to get to her. However, I had hardly begun to talk when they informed me that Sarima had forbade them to speak with me about Fiyero's death. I couldn't believe it. The one time those ninnies chose to respect their sister was when I needed them most. Just another part of my curse.

So there I was, making my way back up to my witch's tower when I heard muffled sobs. I supposed it was the children again, and I was prepared to scold them when I opened the door. Instead I found Glinda, sitting on the bed, her face buried in my pillow.

"Glinda? What's wrong? Did one of the children do something?" I asked, closing the door as I approached her.

The blonde looked up at me as though I were some apparition. "N-no…"

"Then why all these tears?" I persisted, sitting beside her. I made to put an arm around her, but she turned her shoulders awkwardly. That was odd. "Did… did I do something?"

Glinda shook her head. "It isn't… you."

"Please tell me."

The blonde buried her face back into my pillow, and muffled words escaped her.

"I'm sure that pillow heard you far better than I could, my sweet."

The good witch finally looked at me with her tear-stained face. "I… I skipped a period…"

"Okay… and that warrants these sobs?"

"Elphaba, I'm pregnant!"

My heart practically stopped beating. "Wh-what?"

"I've been feeling… a little off for a while… but I thought that maybe it was just all the stress from Sir Chuffery's death and leaving. So I talked to Sarima about it, and she told me that… I was pregnant."

"You can't just take her word for it."

"She's had three children, Elphaba. I think she knows what she's talking about."

I stood up, trying to take in what Galinda had told me. "Okay… so let's assume this is true… when was the last time you had… relations with Sir Chuffery?"

"Elphie… he was sterile. He couldn't impregnate me no matter how hard he may have tried."

I could only stare at her. "Then… who did you have sex with?"

Glinda looked shocked. "I haven't had sex with anyone but you!"

"Well, I can't get you pregnant!"

"Elphaba, I swear to you, I would never cheat on you!"

"You already did…"

Glinda's expression saddened further. "That was different… my parents forced me to marry… I always loved you…"

I sighed. I realized that I was being a hypocrite to a ridiculous degree. I had slept with two men, one married, and had a child. "All right… I believe you," I said, moving to sit beside her again. "But I just don't understand… how could this happen?"

Glinda leaned against me, and I put an arm around her obligingly. "Perhaps Lurline finally decided to smile down on her two saints…" The blonde kissed my neck gently. "Elphie… you gave me a child… something I've always wanted…"

"Well, I… I never thought I could… um…" I found it hard to finish my sentence, seeing as Glinda had fully moved into my lap, leaving a trail of kisses on my neck. "Um… Glin?"

"Elphie… I love you so much…"

"I thought pregnancy made women irritable."

"Mmm… maybe later… but for now, all I want is you…" Her lips were on my ear now, and I couldn't stop myself from undoing her dress and falling back onto the bed, pulling her with me.

I suppose it was our way of celebrating.

* * *

Life went on. Sarima continued to resist my attempts at forgiveness, and her sisters seemed to resent her for it. The children were annoying as ever, and as Glinda began to develop the first signs of a baby bump, I myself began to wonder if we were ready for a child of our own. It was true, I didn't exactly like children, but Glinda… this was what she wanted. And how could I deny my love anything?

Glinda was about three months pregnant when I received the letter. What letter am I speaking of? The letter from my dear father.

It started off like any other morning. Glinda and I were making our way downstairs to make our morning tea, and I had just helped the blonde into a chair.

"Elphie, I'm fine, really," the good witch said.

"You're carrying precious cargo now, my sweet. I want you both to be as comfortable as possible."

"We're fine Elphie."

I gave the blonde a small smile as I touched her stomach lightly, feeling a small kick against my hand. "I still can't believe it…"

Glinda pulled me close, her lips meeting mine. "But it's happening… and I love you that much more…"

I pulled away, turning to begin making the tea.

"Give it to me!"

"No! It's for Auntie!"

"How would you know? You can't even read!"

I recognized those voices all too well. I turned just as Liir came tearing into the room, an envelope in his hand. Manek came right after him, tackling the brunette to the floor as his siblings entered the kitchen as well.

"Give it!"

"No!" Liir struggled under him.

"What's all this then?" I said, approaching the children.

"A letter came for you!" Liir said just as Manek ripped it out of his hand. "Hey!"

"I just want to read it," Sarima's middle child replied.

"If it really is for me and you open it, I will turn you into a rat," I said.

Manek froze, apparently weighing the situation. Reluctantly, he held the envelope out, and I took it from him.

"Good. Now, run along."

"But what does it say?" Nor pestered.

"It is for me, and you four don't need to know. Now shoo."

The children grumbled against me, but they left, and I set the envelope on the table.

"It's from the Colwen Grounds," I heard Glinda say as I returned to making the tea.

I paused, and I'm sure Glinda knew exactly what was going through my mind. My family lived in the Colwen Grounds.

"That's interesting. I wonder how they knew where I was," I said, placing a cup of tea in front of the blonde as I slid across from her.

"I told them, of course."

Glinda and I exchanged a look at the familiar voice, and I stood, turning. "Nanny!" I practically cried at seeing the old woman and I ran to her, catching her in an embrace (not typical of me, I know). It had been so long since I'd seen a friendly face, and Nanny's had been the first one over my crib after all.

"You two just won't separate, will you? So unfortunate about your husband's death then, Miss Galinda," Nanny said as I pulled out a chair for her. "I'm sure you're sorry as well, my young Melena."

"Don't start accusing me of anything, Nanny," I said, though honestly I was overjoyed to see her again. "And how did you know where I was?"

"Nanny keeps track of all her Thropps, yes she does."

"Ah, so you do know our visitor then."

We looked up at the sound of Sarima's voice.

"She arrived off the caravan this morning, and I was not sure if she really did know our Auntie Witch."

Nanny looked at me. "So you're a witch now too then?"

"That's what people say."

The old woman shook her head. "You two… and now you've gone and gotten her pregnant. Just like your parents."

Later, the three of us sat in front of one of the grand fireplaces. Glinda had chosen to settle herself in my lap, and my hands came to rest on her slightly bulging stomach. Nanny sat in an over stuffed chair, gazing into the flames.

"How did you know we were here?" I repeated.

"Words travel. You're not exactly inconspicuous."

I scowled while Glinda giggled.

"What Nanny wants to know is how you managed to give the good witch that nice bulge."

Glinda blushed slightly. "We… we don't know… magic?"

"I suppose that's as good an answer as any." Nanny looked at me. "You were a little miracle yourself… or a nightmare for your mother."

"How could you ever be a nightmare?" Glinda asked.

"Oh, she was a little terror."

"Nanny, don't you dare—" I started, but there was no stopping the old woman now.

"I remember at any mention of the Time Dragon, the little green froggy here would be on all fours, roaring at us before letting out a piss on the floor, which would intrigue her so much that she'd—"

"NANNY!" Oz, I didn't want THAT story to go any further!

"Don't get angry with me. You did it more than once."

"I WAS A BABY!"

Glinda was laughing herself into a stupor, and I could feel my face growing hot.

"Nanny, I swear to Oz—"

"Careful, Fabala. Little witches have very big ears that can hear everything," Nanny said, looking pointedly at Glinda's stomach.

I glared at her, and felt the blonde's hand on the side of my face. "Elphie… don't be so upset. I think it's adorable." She left a gentle kiss just under my jawline.

"Only because it's not about you…" I grumbled. So maybe I wasn't as overjoyed as I thought to have Nanny with us again.

* * *

"Where did Liir run off to?"

It was an odd question that came up that night at dinner. Everyone looked at me expectantly, but I shrugged.

"How should I know? He curls up someplace or other every night," I replied.

"Don't even know where your own son is," Nanny said.

"He is not my son," I hissed. Nanny was going to get a sound smack from me if she kept this up.

When Liir didn't show up the next morning to complete his chores, I was more irritated than anything as I began collecting the honey from the bees.

"Where is he?"

"Elphie, aren't you a little worried?" Glinda asked from where she sat on the bed.

"I'm annoyed. He's late, and the crows' rags need to be changed now."

"But Elphaba, think about it. He's never been late or missed a morning before. What if something happened to him?"

"I couldn't care less."

Glinda stood in an almost angry way, but it wasn't intimidating, considering her slightly bulging stomach. "Elphaba, I am going to have our child, but if you can't even pretend to care about your son, how can you claim to love this one?"

I looked at her as I put the jar away. "Because you're carrying _our_ child. Something you've wanted for so long. Liir… he isn't the same. I didn't ask for him…"

"That shouldn't matter."

I sighed. It was obvious I could not make Glinda understand my viewpoint on this, not without telling her about the awful things I'd done. "We'll see if he turns up."

* * *

He didn't. After five days, Liir was still missing. It was the good witch who brought this matter to Sarima's attention, and the search of Kiamo Ko began.

When the cry of "We've found him!" came, I wasn't exactly filled with relief.

"He's in the fishwell."

Well that was unfortunate. We all made our way down to the well and sure enough, there he was, almost invisible at the bottom. Chistery was pulling on the rope of the bucket to no avail, so I took over, pulling the boy up into the light. He looked like a corpse left in the river: his skin was pale, and covered with a soap-like film.

"Go upstairs, children. This is not for you to see," Sarima said.

"I can't believe it; it's so terrible," Manek said with a grin.

I shot him a hateful glare, his words reminding me of the cruelness of the children from my own youth. "Listen to your mother."

He made a face, but the three ran to the top of the stairs, watching.

"You know enough in medicine to help him, don't you?" Sarima said to me.

"No,_ I_ don't know enough. Come, let's bring him up into the kitchen," I replied.

"But you know magic! You can bring him back!" Sarima's sisters said.

I had had quite enough of this. "No, I don't have an aptitude for sorcery! I never did! That was just a campaign created by Madame Morrible!"

I received looks for that, and I realized they had no idea what I was talking about, but I cared little. We ran up to the kitchen, Glinda clinging to my arm tightly. Sarima and her sisters laid Liir on the butcher's block, while Nor brought my broom and Manek the Grimmerie.

As Nanny began pressing on his arms and legs and set Sarima on his chest, I flipped through the ancient book, feeling unfamiliar anxiety building inside of me.

"I have no personal experience with a soul… how can I find his if I don't even know what it looks like?"

The children gave ridiculous suggestions, while Sarima and her sisters began praying to the Unnamed God and Lurline; whoever would listen.

"Elphaba, be some help! You're just like your mother, useless in a crisis! Put your mouth on his and push air into his lungs, go!" Nanny said.

"What?" How could she ask that of me?

"Elphaba, do it!" Glinda cried.

Damn you, Glinda! I used my sleeve to wipe the water and film from Liir's face, it didn't move from where I'd pushed it. My stomach turned over, and I turned away, dry heaving and spitting into a bucket. Reluctantly, I turned back to him and leaned down, doing what Nanny had asked.

It was awful. I grasped at the block, fighting to keep my nausea under control. A few minutes (a lifetime) later, Liir's stomach swelled, and a yellowish liquid ran from the corner of his mouth. His eyes opened, and I was mercifully able to pull away.

"Thank Lurline!" Sarima cried.

"We're not out of the woods yet. He may die of exposure, so off with his clothes now."

Liir was stripped, rubbed down with lard, and wrapped in a blanket. As this was happening, I was doubled over in the corner, trying not to retch on the floor. I felt a hand on my back, and I looked up to see Glinda.

"Elphaba…"

"Are you… happy now?"

* * *

Men and women. Male and female. The difference between the sexes is one I have thought about for quite some time. Oh, I am a female, yes, but I suppose at times, I don't exactly feel like one. Almost as if I don't fit in the body of a woman… Glinda does well enough. She's perfect for that… but as for me… well, how could one ever know for sure?

The heat of the sun was strengthening as winter began to melt away. Snow ran off the roofs and created icicles, which hung off the side. As I mused over the battle of the sexes, I sat on the balcony, my gaze fixated on a particularly sharp icicle. Warm and cold working together… perhaps warm and cold anger worked together as well to make a weapon to fight whatever still needed to be fought. I had always thought myself capable of as hot an anger as any man, but to truly find that power, one would need to access both…

A crack, and the icicle I'd been intently staring at while thinking of weapons broke, falling like a lance.

Liir survived. Manek did not.

* * *

"They're calling you a witch now. Why is that?"

I walked with Nanny in the orchard, the bees buzzing happily now that the air was beginning to lose its chill.

"Stupidity and silliness… and the fear of the Wizard," I replied, plucking an apple from a branch and biting into it. Still unripe.

"Your parents wouldn't stand for it… as for Miss Galinda."

"It's Glinda now, Nanny, and what of her?"

"Well, she appears to be a 'good witch'. She's the one who enchanted Nessa's shoes."

I didn't reply to that.

"I see you already knew that. Well… what of you two then? Still a couple?"

"She's pregnant with my child… and I never stopped loving her."

"She was married."

"Her husband was a monster…"

"And you liberated the damsel in distress I assume?"

"Nanny—"

"Was his death an accident?"

"That's enough."

Nanny looked at me, but I refused to look back.

"Always doing what needs to be done…" she said. We continued our walk in silence.

That night, as Glinda lay in my arms, I thought about my family. Nessa was the Eminent Thropp… I would have never thought that possible before… not while she was still, well… I suppose it was easier now that she could stand on her own two feet. I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten all about my letter. It was still unopened. I reached over the blonde, my fingers just able to grasp the envelope on the bedside table. As I brought it back towards me, Glinda stirred and buried her face further into the crook of my neck but didn't wake up.

By the light of the moon, I was able to make out my father's handwriting.

_My dear Elphaba,_

_I can't say that I understand why you at the castle of Kiamo Ko, or why people call you a witch now, but I do know that you are still my daughter, and as such, I would like to extend an invitation for your arrival home. I realize it has been some time since we talked, but you weren't exactly easy to find. I hope you are doing well._

_The reason I am writing you this is, as I stated before, to invite you to come home. Your sister, as you know, has taken her place as Eminent Thropp, and has expressed an interest in seeing you. It has been some time… we would all like to see you again. If you could… please come home._

_Frexspar_

So my father was beckoning me home, and based on how he was calling me "dear", it appeared to be serious. And Nessa wanting to see me? Most likely to fulfill her promise of spitting in my face. Still… my sister and I did have unfinished business regarding… a certain blonde witch. I looked down at the woman in question, who draped an arm across me. I smiled slightly, kissing her forehead. Glinda smiled in her sleep, cuddling closer to me. Of course I didn't want to leave her… but a pregnant woman had no place on a broomstick. Yes, I had to go home… it was a duty to my family.

* * *

"So you're leaving me?"

"It won't be for long my sweet."

The only bad thing about Glinda's pregnancy is that her morning sickness woke her early, and she'd caught me dressing and retrieving my broom.

The blonde pouted. "I want to go with you."

"No, no, no. You can't ride on a flying broom in your… condition."

"Elphie…"

I pulled her into a tight embrace. "Please don't pout. I'll be back before you know it." I brushed some hair from her face, kissing her gently. "One for you." I leaned down, kissing her stomach and running my hands along the bump. "And one for you." I straightened up. "I love you my sweet."

"I love you too Elphie… so please come back to us in one piece?"

I nodded. "I will do all I can."

And I meant it.


	30. Entry 30

It took me a few days to reach Munchkinland, and when I did arrive at the gates to the Colwen Grounds, two gatekeepers immediately stopped me.

"What business have you here?"

"This is my family's home," I replied, a little annoyed at their behavior.

They obviously didn't believe me, for they remained standing in my way. "Aren't you that witch the Gale Force has been searching for?"

"How dare you accuse me of such a thing," I replied, perhaps a bit too late. It was disheartening to learn that Garrett was still after me, though. Apparently, he was bound and determined to follow through with the threat he'd made at the cloister.

"Fabala, is that you?"

"Yes, Father, it's me," I replied.

"Stand aside, this is my eldest daughter. She is always welcome here and anywhere in the estate."

The gatekeepers finally moved aside, and I gave them a look as I went to my father's side. "Your letter was unexpected, papa."

"And so was your sudden disappearance." My father looked at me. "I get a letter from your headmistress saying you caused some disturbance at the Wizard's palace, and then I get one from your sister saying you never returned. I didn't know what to think…"

"I'm sorry…"

"Your sister has asked to see you. How long has it been now since you two last saw each other?"

"Almost ten years…"

Ten years. A decade since I'd seen my sister at Shiz… Oz, I could only imagine how time had taken its toll on her.

* * *

Upon inquiring of her whereabouts, I was led up to a master bedroom, where I found my sister sitting at a desk, her back to me. I closed the door behind me softly, not wanting to disturb her if she were busy.

"Nessie?"

The brunette paused. "Have you finally come home?" Her voice was smooth… cool… under control.

"I'm here, am I not?"

Nessa stood, and I remembered the ruby slippers. And yes, there they were, on her feet, shimmering as she approached me. A decade had hardly put a dent in my sister's features… she still looked young as ever, but the childhood innocence was gone. Her face didn't betray any emotions, and it was just as in control as everything else, from the way she walked and spoke.

"Father said you requested to see me."

"I did."

"To finally carry out your threat of spitting in my face?"

Nessa smiled slightly. "That was youthful anger. I would never do something so… unrefined now."

"I see… tell me what you want."

"Is it a crime to want to see you after all this time?"

"I merely wish to know your intentions."

Nessa moved to sit on the bed, gesturing for me to join her. "When Nanny claimed to know where you were, of course we were all surprised. We'd only heard rumors of you up until now, so of course I chose to take this option to reach out to you."

"But for what means, Nessie?"

"Elphaba, this is only your first night here. Don't be in such a hurry. I promise we will have time to talk."

"Tomorrow?"

"I can't."

That was new. "You summon me here, only to tell me you can't talk?"

"Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"

I chose not to reply, instead looking away.

"Oh. I see." Nessa stood and approached her desk again. "So this is about Glinda then."

"All I will say is that we need to talk."

"And we will… I promise."

* * *

Seeing as my sister had "other matters" placed before me, I chose to bide my time by reacquainting myself with the home I'd only ever heard about, but never had been allowed to live in. The Colwen Grounds had a certain grandeur about it, and I suppose I could see how it could raw a person in. As I thought about it, it occurred to me that I had been here, only once before, as a toddler. That was when my great-grandfather was still alive, and for some reason, my mother had agreed to let him meet the newest Thropp…

* * *

"Apparently we're just destined to have women rule our family."

My mother scowled at his chuckling. "Well it's not may fault that everyone decided to die off, and we're left with… that!"

I knew she was talking about me, but I was too invested in the book I had just discovered to pay attention.

"You really hold so much resentment towards your own daughter?"

"Look at her!"

"You think she chose to be that way?"

"For all I know, she did it to annoy me!"

My great-grandfather shook his head. "Just like your mother…"

"People respected my mother."

"They respect you."

My mother snorted. "Don't even start with me."

"Frexspar is a respectable man."

"I could fill novels with the things I hate about Frex."

"In front of your daughter?"

My mother looked at me, and I looked back at her with my dark eyes.

"What do I care? I doubt she understands a word I say… she's become my sort of walking diary."

"So she does have a purpose then?"

"When you say it like that—"

He just laughed. "Come here, little fern," he said, turning his attention towards me. I just stared at him over the top of my book. "I see you're lost in the pages." He chose to stand instead, coming over to me and lifting me gently before returning to his seat. I settled in his lap, the book still in my hands.

"She doesn't react to anything, as you can see," my mother said, crossing her arms.

"Perhaps you haven't been trying to right stimuli." I felt his chin on the top of my head. "Is this literature to your liking?"

I clicked my teeth together thoughtfully. Though they had somewhat dulled, my teeth were still sharper than any child's (or human's) teeth should be.

"See? Nothing."

"You'll understand each other… one day."

He was confident… neither of us was though. In any case, I don't know if I ever understood my mother, or she me. But we tolerated, and we did try… and there is always a bond between a mother and her firstborn.

* * *

"Fabala!"

The call pulled me from my thoughts, and I turned just in time to be tackled by my now much taller brother, which as a result, knocked the wind out of me.

"Shell, we are well past the age where this behavior is tolerated," I managed to say, trying to push him off of me.

"Don't tell me you've gotten too old for this," Shell said with a grin. "I thought you were strong."

"I was also the tallest, now get off."

He did and I stood with a slight groan, rubbing my head. It was hard to believe that my brother was already twenty-one, which meant that I had missed everything. Of course, I had known life would continue on in my absence, but to come back and see just how everyone had moved on… well, I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed it.

"You finally decided rejoin the living."

I was about to comment that I had never been dead, but I knew that wasn't entirely true. "Only because Nessa requested my presence, but talking to her has proved impossible."

Shell made a face. "Ever since she took up that position, she's been carrying this air of high and might. We hardy ever see her." His expression fell slightly. "Was that the only reason you came back?"

Well, that was a guilt trip if I ever saw one. "Please don't say it like that. I wanted to visit, but I've just been… busy."

"Busy being a witch?" Shell started walking and I followed.

"So you've heard about that."

"It isn't exactly a secret, but considering that Saint Glinda is a good witch, I suppose it makes sense for you to be called a wicked one."

I chuckled softly. "Is that it now? I'm to be a wicked witch, an enemy of Glinda the Good? I'll tell you, they were calling me wicked long before Glinda gained her title."

We had reached a rather large pond, and Shell stooped down to pick up a flat rock. He examined it before tossing it out, watching it skip along the water's surface, one, two, three times.

"Any time we mention Glinda around Nessa, she acts all funny."

I paused. "Oh? How so?" I asked, looking down at the rock I'd chosen.

"Her mouth gets small and tight, and if anything is in or near her hands, well, you can expect it to be broken." A pause. "When she heard of Glinda's marriage to Sir Chuffery, she yanked the table cloth right off the table. Made a right mess too."

I threw my rock, smiling slightly when it bounced four times. I didn't want to admit that I most likely knew the reason why Nessa was acting up.

_It would appear we both have trouble forgetting Glinda…_

"And what about you?"

I looked at my brother. "What about me?"

Shell shrugged. "You disappeared for about a decade. What happened? Meet that special someone yet?"

I smiled slightly. "You know men and I don't get along."

"Perhaps not a man then."

My rock hit the water with a plop as I stared at Shell. "Pardon?"

He didn't look at me. "Well… you just never seemed the type to settle with a man…"

"Are you suggesting that I instead found romance in another woman?"

"I'm not judging."

I shook my head. "Believe me, my reasons for leaving were not because of a woman."

"But you don't deny that one was involved?"

I chose not to answer that.

"Look, Elphaba, do you honestly expect me to believe you lived all that time in solitude?" My brother finally looked at me. "No one can do that… not even you."

I looked away. "This conversation has taken an unwanted turn."

"Elphaba—"

"So allow me to turn it back on you." I looked back at him, feeling very much like Sarima at that moment. "Have you found companionship? Someone special?"

Shell smiled slightly. "With the way Father has, I don't even have the time to try."

"Am I to assume that's a no?"

"You can assume what you want."

"Oh, someone does not sound friendly."

"About as friendly as you."

"Look at you. Where did you learn this behavior?"

My brother looked into my dark eyes with his own. "From you."

I didn't know how to reply, so I looked back out over the water.

"I'm glad you're back… we missed you."

"Maybe you did."

"We all did."

"We'll see." But I didn't believe him… not fully.

* * *

"I wish I could talk, but I'm having dinner tonight with an ambassador from the Glikkus, and I really can't miss it. You understand."

I sighed in frustration. "No Nessa, I don't."

My sister turned the page of her book calmly. "Well, I suppose not, being as out of politics as you are."

I went over to her, slamming the book shut. "Don't talk down to me."

Nessa looked up at me calmly, which only angered me further. "I see you still let your temper control you."

"This isn't about me. You summon me and I come, just like I always have. Now you can't even bother to find the time to talk to me?"

"I promise that we will, but for now, I am exceedingly busy." My sister opened her book back up, but I wasn't about to let her tune me out again.

"Then whatever you have to say can't be that important," I said, snatching the book up and tossing is across the room. "I have better things to do than wait around here."

"Elphaba!" It was the first time she sounded appalled.

"Oh, so you do still have emotions."

Nessa gave me a look. "In my line of work, I cannot afford to let my emotions run rampant, as you do."

I let out a low growl. "I am no slave to emotions."

"No? What was that just now then?"

I sighed. "Nessie… I'm sorry I left, but this… this is not who you are… not who you were when I left."

"Exactly. You left… and things changed." Nessa stood to retrieve her book. "You have no idea how things have changed…"

As expected, Nessa was absent at dinner, leaving me alone with the two male members of my family. It was the first time I'd sat down with them in a long time, so not surprisingly, I felt out of place. Silence permeated the room, with the only sound coming from flatware hitting plates. My father seemed to be having the most trouble with cutting his food and actually getting it to his mouth. I watched as Shell assisted him, and it occurred to me that this was to be Shell's life: taking care of our father, just as I had once been entirely responsible for Nessa. Had I passed my curse onto my brother? By leaving, I had relinquished all family responsibilities… had I sentenced my siblings to this life?

Needless to say, dinner was silently awkward.

* * *

_My sweet,_

_I hope you are doing well and taking good care of our little love parcel. I also hope this letter reaches you rather covertly, seeing as I am not looking for any more trouble. I am writing to tell you that my stay here may be a tad prolonged. My sister's stubbornness is to blame, seeing as we cannot find the time to properly talk within her busy political schedule._

_I wish I could be beside you. No doubt the others are driving you up the walls, but you always had more patience than me. I only hope that your patience continues as I am forced to remain here, waiting for my sister to feel so inclined to speak to me. Don't fret… I'll be back soon, I promise. Hold out, my sweet. It won't be much longer._

* * *

"What do you make of your sister?"

Well, considering the fact that she was still too busy to see me, so I was now strolling through the gardens with my father biding my time still, I had to say that she appeared to be a stuck-up, self righteous, bitching pain in my verdant ass.

"She seems to be adapting to her new life well," I replied. What? You didn't think I was going to actually say all that to my father about his precious flower, did you?

My father nodded as he moved slowly. Being a strider myself, the pace was painstakingly slow, but I kept myself in check.

"Even so… she is still at a young age to take power…"

I knew then what he meant. "You think this will prevent her from meeting anyone… special."

"When you left, you disowned your title, leaving your sister to fill a position she wasn't expecting, nor ready for. And as for your brother… well, I have no idea where his life is headed. But I do know one thing: the Thropp family line must be continued. We cannot let it die out."

"I know that…"

"And seeing as you most likely won't continue it, if Nessa does not meet anyone, then only Shell is left."

I bit back my reply about Glinda's pregnancy. That was definitely something my father could not handle.

"So, tell me about this witch business."

I looked at him, pulled from my thoughts. "What is there to tell that you have not already heard?"

"Exactly. I only know what I have heard through rumors, and I can't say I particularly understand it all."

"Well, you know how people love to talk."

"Yes, but a witch Elphaba?"

"What can I say? Madame Morrible spread propaganda when I was younger, and it stuck. I see no benefit to me in fighting what so many have believed all these years."

"Your mother would have had a fit."

"My mother wouldn't have cared less."

"You know she cared in her own way."

"Well she certainly had an odd way of showing it."

Silence.

"Why did you come back?"

That was a sudden turn.

"You know why; you wrote the letter yourself. My sister calls for me and just like always, I come running. It is the most basic instinct I cannot force myself to forget."

"So you do still care then."

"I never stopped."

"I would prefer you to stay this time."

"And for what reason? To stand beside my sister and continue to live at her beck and call? She has already taken power and gained independence… I suppose I forced that onto her when I left. In any case, there is no place for me here."

"Not politically, but we are still family."

Could it be that my father was turning sentimental on me? It was so unlike him… not that he'd ever been outright cruel to me, but he'd never exactly shown me compassion either.

I sighed. "While I love you… this home is too broken for me to stay…" I replied softly. "I have a new life… one that demands new obligations. I'm sorry, but I cannot ignore them to try and rebuild a life I resigned myself to leaving behind."

My father smiled ever so slightly before looking at me. "What did they teach you at that school?"

* * *

Five days after my arrival to the Colwen Grounds, Nessarose finally summoned me for our meeting. When I reached her room, I found my sister sitting before her vanity, draping a white shawl over her shoulders.

"Are we going somewhere, or do you feel a phantom chill?" I asked.

"Business came up."

"No, not this again Nessa—"

"I wish for you to accompany me." My sister apparently decided against the white shawl, taking it off.

Now it was time for me to raise an eyebrow. "For what reason?"

"Must you question everything?"

I crossed my arms. "All right. I will attend said 'matter' with you."

"Thank you. Now, come help me with my hair, would you?"

I almost said no, but my instincts wouldn't allow that, so I approached my sister and began to brush her hair, picking up a few pins.

"Are you going to tell me what this business is?" I asked, twisting a piece of hair before pinning it into place.

"Just an audience with a few citizens."

"Oh, so they come to you now? What for?"

"It depends. Advice… favors…"

"And is this all in the spirit of charity?"

"In a way."

I wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but I finished with Nessa's hair. "I see."

"Oh, thank you. Could you grab that shawl over there? The scarlet one."

I found said accessory and draped it over my sister's shoulders. "Are we to depart now?"

Nessa stood. "Yes."

Sitting beside Nessa before the citizens who came, I cannot say that I liked what I saw.

"… and my maid is to run off with that woodcutter, and just for the sake of liberty!" an old woman finished, looking sourly at the Eminence of the East.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Nessa asked.

"I can give you two Sheep and a Cow."

"I have livestock—"

But my attention had been caught, and I did not let my sister finish. "Did you say Sheep and Cow? You have Animals?"

"My very own."

I clenched my teeth in anger. "How is it that you come to own Animals? Are they no more than collateral in Munchkinland now?"

"Elphie, please," Nessa whispered, but I was in a rage now.

"What will it take to release them?"

"I have already said: do something about this woodcutter."

"What do you have in mind?" Nessa asked, obviously displeased that I had usurped her role as arbiter of justice.

"I have brought his axe, in hopes that you could bewitch it to kill him."

"Fie," I said, crossing my arms. What a thing to ask of—

"Oh, well, that wouldn't be very nice," Nessa commented.

I looked at my sister. "Nice? No, that would not be _very nice_, Nessa."

"Well, perhaps I can enchant it to cut off a limb," Nessa said thoughtfully. "I know from experience that a cripple isn't as desirable to members of the opposite sex."

"The opposite sex, yes…" I muttered. Nessa shot me the harshest of looks. "Besides, you're not a witch, no. I don't believe it. You don't cast spells, of all things!"

"A righteous person can do wonders in the name of the Unnamed God." Nessa took the axe before she began muttering a spell. I could only stare, wondering what in Oz's name had happened to my innocent sister. My gaze wandered to her ruby slippers, and it occurred to me that Glinda must have put some powerful magic in them for Nessa to be able to perform feats such as she was doing now.

"You _are _a witch," I couldn't help but say, shaking my head slowly.

The woman took the axe back. "I'll bring the Animals by the barn; they're tethered in town."

"Animals! Tethered!" I seethed.

"Thank you, Miss Eminence." A grin spread across her face, one I didn't like. "Or should I say Witch of the East?"

While Nessa saw yet another citizen, I decided to go snooping around the barn, hoping to locate these Animals. I found the Cow and Sheep, and I approached the pen hesitantly.

"You're the new Animals, brought here by that vengeful fiend," I said, as a way to announce my presence.

The Cow looked at me. "Yes… to be exchanged for a witch's spell. I can't decide if that's more degrading than the current situation."

"What's your name?"

"What does it matter? I prefer to keep my name private; it's not as though anyone really cares to hear or use it anymore."

"I suppose… well, I'm just a Witch now."

The Cow looked at me. "You're the witch? I thought this whole 'Witch of the East' business was just a name."

"Well, perhaps it is, but I'm not her. I'm the Witch of the West, if you prefer. Her sister."

"I see…"

"I had no idea my sister was so disliked."

"Dearie, listen to me. The Wizard made life hard, the Uplands made life unbearable, and now your sister has made life… well, let's call it death for lack of a better word."

"I've come to free you."

"By whose authority?"

"I told you: the Eminence is my sister. It's my prerogative here."

"To go where and do what?"

I could not answer that, but I threw the gate open anyway.

The Cow still looked at me suspiciously. "You're not doing us any favors."

"This could be your only chance!" Why were they so reluctant?

The Cow finally conceded, walking out with the Sheep following. "Mark my words, my rump will end up on the finest Dixxi House porcelain." Her tail flicked at a fly. "And I hope you choke."

* * *

When all was over and done, I returned to Nessa's bedchamber, practically seething. My dark eyes fell on where she sat, spooning tiny portions of soup into her mouth, and my fists clenched tightly.

"Oh, Elphaba, there you are. Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush any longer. I'd like you to stay here as my sister-at-arms, as well as managing this position should I choose to travel."

"I have no love for Munchkinland, from what I've seen. The people are cruel, and impressed by charades. I do believe you're sitting on a powder keg, Nessa dear."

"All the more reason for you to stay."

"Those shoes have made you strong… you don't need me anymore. Don't lose those."

"Surely you remember these?"

"Yes… Glinda amplified them for you, didn't she?"

Nessa swallowed hard, and forced a smile. "Oh, well, Glinda… what a card! In any case, you may have these shoes… over my dead body. I'll rewrite my will and leave them to you. Perhaps they will make you enticing enough that the green won't matter."

"I'm too old to be enticing."

"Nonsense! We're in the prime of our lives, Elphie."

"When did you take up sorcery, Nessa?"

My sister looked away.

"Morrible got to you too, didn't she? Just like she did to myself and Glinda… adepts, she called us."

"We were young and very impressionable."

"You know Morrible has been planning all this, right from the moment she had that clockwork thing kill Dr. Dillamond."

"Oh, Elphaba, you saw fiends with knives behind every chair. So perhaps we are witches and sorceresses or whatever term you choose, but we have done so ourselves."

I fell silent. I did not believe my sister's words… it was all too accurate with a plan I'm sure I'd heard Morrible say at least once before.

"I'd rather live in doubt than experience it for real," I said, pulling the words from the back of my throat, not quite sure what they meant.

"You said the same thing about the Unnamed God."

"Don't you start again."

"But your soul—"

"I haven't got one; no muss, no fuss."

"Everyone has one. Stay here and be baptized, Elphaba. You'll see."

"Water is profoundly painful to me, as you know well. And what of those Animals you bartered for? I freed them you know."

Nessa shrugged. "You have some power here. I'm not going to intervene in your little pet missions."

I was practically shaking with anger now. How she could remain so calm through all of this… I couldn't take it anymore.

"Perhaps that's something you should have adopted at Shiz."

"Excuse me?"

"No more dancing around this issue Nessa. I'm going to come outright and say it: you slept with my girlfriend!"

Nessa seemed to struggling to keep her composure; I saw a vein in her forehead twitch. "I… you… you left us!"

"That's no excuse!"

"We were lonely! It wasn't like we intended for it to happen!"

I approached her, leaning over her with a growl. "Then why don't you tell me what happened."

"After you left, Nanny could only do so much to comfort me. Glinda took your place, and that night… after she enchanted my slippers… I don't know. It just… happened…"

"You just happened to have sex."

"It was an accident!"

"No, Nessa! A train collision is an accident. Mistaking someone's coat for your own is an accident. What you did was NOT an accident. You knew exactly what you were doing…" I straightened up. "I cannot stay. You have learned to live without me… and you can continue that way." I turned and headed for the door.

"So that's it? After all these years of separation, you're just going to leave?"

"I have done all I can, and it hasn't been enough… and nothing ever will be."

I could not stand to be stifled by my family. They had ganged up on me in that claustrophobic ways families do, and I could stand it no longer. It was time to return to Kiamo Ko… and the woman who was waiting for me.


	31. Entry 31

On the way back to Kiamo Ko, I realized that I was passing over Lake Chorge, but I could not spot the summer home I had visited in my youth… the one where Glinda and I had… well, connected.

As I came into the Vinkus, fierce winds tore at me, and I found it hard to keep my seat, as well as keep my broom steady. Several times, I had to stop and walk, the weather was so bad. At a few points in my journey, I took up refuge in small caves, watching the weather outside. The thought of seeing Glinda again kept me strong, but even through my pushing and determination, and the aid of my broom, it still took me one week to reach Kiamo Ko.

Upon landing in the back orchard of the castle, I found that the back door was open, which at first led me to believe that the sisters were picking flowers, but as I approached, I saw that the door appeared to have been kicked in. Odd… but it was most likely the children and their rough housing.

I entered the kitchen, picking up an apple from a basket neat the door, only to find that it was browning. That was odd… since when did Sarima keep fruit in such bad shape around? I made my way upstairs without running into anyone, and that was even more odd. Something was not right here…

I reached Nanny's room and shook the doorknob, finding it locked. "Nanny?"

"Oh, it's you! You scared me!" I heard the sound of furniture being moved away from the door, and then it was unlocked and opened. "You hideous, ungrateful woman! That was fine thing for you to do, leaving us alone to be murdered!" she cried before throwing herself at me in a hug, almost knocking me over.

"Nanny, please, I've had enough drama to last me the rest of my life. What are you going on about?" I asked, trying to pry her off.

Nanny didn't reply at first, but instead took a little while to calm herself down using smelling salts she'd pulled from her bag. My eyes fell on a little green bottle with a faded label reading MIRACLE ELI—.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, picking it up.

"From your room at Shiz, of course. You left it there."

This meant it was my mother's then… I held it tightly in one hand.

After she'd calmed herself, Nanny said, "Well, as you know, everyone has disappeared."

My brow furrowed in confusion, and that was followed quickly by fear. "What?"

"Now don't be mad with Nanny, it's not Nanny's fault. Perhaps Nor told them you were gone, you know how she admired them, but in any case, they did come and said they needed to escort the entire family to their camp, but not me, which was quite insulting and I told them so—"

"Who, Nanny? Who came?"

"The soldiers of course."

I inhaled sharply, hitting the windowsill with my open palm. "A battalion! But why?" A thought struck me. Nanny had said the family… did that mean… "GLINDA!" I tore from the room, running up to my tower. "GLINDA!" I burst through door, but the blonde wasn't there. I ran back downstairs, searching frantically. No, no, no, no! Why would they take her too?

"She's not here."

"FUCK!" I punched the wall angrily, leaving behind a small crater. How could this happen? Glinda taken from me… and she was pregnant too! The only good thing left in my life… "Why did they take them?"

"How should I know? They chose to leave me here."

"Did no one protest?"

"Well, of course. Sarima fainted, and the children looked after her. The sisters barricaded the dining room door and tried to tie messages to the feet of your crows, but those beasts decided to be uncooperative, so that was useless. Glinda was the only one who took action. She tried to boil oil to pour on them, but they couldn't get the fire high enough. She did have a plan to go out the back, but the soldiers had the castle surrounded. Oh, it was a merry chase here for a few days, but you can see the result. Men always win."

I thought of Glinda, screaming in protest and resisting against the soldiers… how she would have fought not for herself, but for our baby.

"If you had been here, this wouldn't have happened. They're all scared of you, you know. They think you're a witch."

"I am a witch! A wicked one, who has lost her better half!" I strode back and forth, pulling my hair out of its traditional bun and shaking it out, as if I could keep from hearing what Nanny was saying. "And Chistery?"

"Most likely cowering in your room."

"All right… what do I have? There's the bees, Chistery, Killjoy, the crows… there's the broom, and the questionable Grimmerie… it's not a lot." I kicked at something, realizing too late that it was a (now broken) chamber pot. Not the best idea. "Well, this is a fine kettle of fish."

"Doom, doom, doom."

"No… not this time… I will find them… they took Glinda... and no amount of sainthood will allow me to forgive that."

I was tired that night, but I couldn't sleep. Killjoy bounded around my legs, happy to see me again, but I hardly noticed. All I could think of was Glinda… and how in Oz I was going to get her back.

* * *

My first plan was merely to storm the camp, but Nanny wouldn't allow that.

"No, no! They'll shoot you right out of the sky!"

"You said they're afraid of me!"

"Well, sure, but not enough to just let you fly in. There's dozens of them, and one of you. No, no, Nanny just can't allow it."

I let out a low growl. "What else would you suggest I do?"

"Now don't get upset with Nanny, she's merely trying to save your hide."

"If I don't go after them now, I may lose them for Oz knows how long! I cannot allow anything further to happen to Glinda!"

"You think she won't protect that baby?"

"I know she will… and that's what worries me. Glinda would die to keep our child alive… I cannot allow that."

"Well, what are you going to do about it then?"

"That's the issue we're trying to figure out!" Oz, I was becoming well past annoyed with this woman.

"Well obviously."

I stood up angrily, stalking out the door. I couldn't sit and listen to her blather anymore. While Nanny meant well, she was starting to go dour in the head. Of course, her instincts were to keep me safe, just as she had always done for the Thropp line, but I couldn't just sit around here and do nothing. I was almost thirty years old; I did not need to be taken care of, nor would I be told what to do.

* * *

As night rolled around, I decided this was my best chance to leave without Nanny's nagging. I grabbed my broom and went out onto the balcony, looking out at the clear sky. There was hardly any wind… it was almost ideal flying weather. I mounted the broom and just as I took off, Chistery managed to hop on.

"Chistery! What are you doing?" I hissed, holding my broom in a hover. "Go back inside!"

Chistery climbed up onto my shoulder instead, making small chattering noises. He pulled on my ear gently before going into a crouch, holding onto my cloak and looking at me with big eyes. It was obvious he wasn't going to listen to me this time.

"All right, stay then, but we have to be quiet."

We flew through the calm air, past the Red Windmill and the village. When Chistery pointed to a small barn, I paused, wondering if we should risk entering. Well… had to start somewhere right? We made our descent and landed silently a few feet away. Cautiously, I approached the barn door, finding it unlocked. I slid the door open, and my eyes fell on what appeared to be the sleeping forms of soldiers under blankets. I held my broom tightly as I carefully stepped around them, my sharp eyes scanning the area. I didn't see anything that appeared to be out of place…

Chistery suddenly leapt off my shoulder and climbed up into the loft, making noises that told me he'd found food of some kind.

"Chistery!" I hissed, cursing the creature for allowing his stomach to rule him. "Chistery, come back down here now!"

It would seem that my companion was still having trouble listening, because he merely peered down at me, bumping into a pail as he did so. The pail wobbled before tipping over, dumping its contents. Out of instinct, I leapt back (it could very well have been water), and my foot landed on the head of a soldier.

SNAP

I let out a cry of pain and fell to the ground, looking down at my foot. What I had thought to be a soldier's head had actually been an animal trap, the kind that clamped shut on whatever happened to set it off. I tried prying it open as tears sprung to my eyes from the pain, but the sudden torchlight filling the barn caught my attention. I picked up my fallen broom, gripping it with both hands tightly as I did my best to erase any trace of pain from my expression.

"I knew you'd show up eventually."

How I hated the person standing before me! "You just can't let this go, can you?"

"How nice to hear you've finally broken your vow of silence."

My eyes narrowed. "All right Garrett. You caught me, now what do you want?"

"Well, since you've been so reluctant to talk these past years, I figured I needed a better way to get your attention."

"Get my attention? You kidnapped an entire family! Sarima, her sisters, the children…"

"You went to Kiamo Ko for a reason. I'm not an idiot Elphaba; I've been tracking your movements. I thought it was bit odd when Sir Chuffery turned up murdered, but when I found out you returned to the castle… well, it all made sense. That's Fiyero's family… you think they will forgive you for what you did?"

"Shut up," was all I could growl back. I was starting to break out into a cold sweat from the pain, but I refused to let him see. "You did this because of your jealousy."

"If that's how you choose to see it."

"I swear, Garrett, if you hurt them—"

"Cut out the act, Elphaba. I know you don't care about them. It's the good witch you're worried about."

I inhaled sharply at that. "You leave her alone."

"Don't worry. The others are too afraid of her sainthood to hurt her, not to mention that baby she's carrying."

"Damn it Garrett, what do you want from me?"

"Our son."

"Liir…?" He still thought Liir was his… I considered telling him the truth, but if I did that, he'd kill the boy for sure. Liir was the only thing I had left of my Yero… "Why? So you can drag him into this life as well?"

"Look Elphaba, it's him or your blonde whore."

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!"

Garrett paused. "You're right. That was rude. She's not the whore… you are. Isn't that right?"

I glared at him, even though it was true that I had been more unfaithful than Glinda. "I swear Garrett, if you do anything to her, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"I'm sure you will. But your decision Elphaba?"

Shaking with pain and anger, I chose to spit in his face.

Garrett straightened up with a growl, wiping his face. "I see… you refuse to repent then. That's all right. We have ways of dealing with witches." He kicked the trap before turning and heading for the exit, leaving me to gasp as a fresh wave of pain shot through my leg. Still, I had to push that from mind as my gaze fell on a sudden fire starting in a haystack.

"Shit," I muttered, knowing that Garrett meant to burn me alive. I struggled with the trap, trying to force it open as the fire grew in size and strength, eating at the wooden structure of the barn. Part of the ceiling collapsed, and I raised an arm to shield myself from leaping embers. Frantic chattering caught my attention, and I saw Chistery running towards me. He grabbed onto the trap, trying to help me in prying it open.

"Chistery… go!" I didn't want him to die in here with me.

He ignored me yet again and continued tugging on the trap. The fire was growing hotter and stronger with each passing second, and I knew we didn't have a lot of time left. My gaze fell on my broom, and as much as I didn't want to, I had to get free. So, I shoved the broom handle into the gap between the metal teeth and started pushing down on it. From my position, this wasn't exactly easy, but it's amazing what the human body can do under great duress.

The broom bucked and bent in protest, and I feared it would give out, but to my surprise, it held long enough for me to free my foot and stagger to my feet. Ignoring the pain, I grabbed Chistery and stumbled towards the last opening I could see. Bracing myself, I put my shoulder down and threw myself through the wall of flames, landing with a thud in the dirt on the other side. I dragged myself away from the burning structure, Chistery pulling on my cloak. Exhausted and weak, I didn't get back up, instead slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Well, you look cozy enough."

Without looking up, I knew it was Miss Galinda. It was odd for her to be back this early, and it was one of the first social remarks she had made to me in three months.

"Looks are only looks," I replied, not looking up. I heard taking her coat and shoes off and her light footsteps across the room.

"Will it disturb you if I sit in front of the fire?"

"You cast a shadow if you sit just there."

"Oh, sorry." Her tone told me she wasn't sorry at all. "Mustn't cast shadows when urgent words are waiting to be read."

I wasn't really listening, having dived back into the pages of my book, so I gave her no reply.

"What the dickens are you reading night and day?"

I finally looked up. "While I don't read the same thing every day, you know, right now I'm reading the speeches of early unionist fathers."

"Why ever would anyone want to read that?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if I want to read them. I'm just reading them."

"But why? Miss Elphaba the Delirious, why?"

I grinned at that, not sure why it appealed to me so. No one really appreciates being called crazy. "Elphaba the Delirious. I like that."

* * *

It was the feeling of tiny hands on my face that pulled me from sleep. I looked up weakly to see Chistery looking down at me, emitting concerned noises. The pain in my ankle was impossible to ignore, and I managed to turn my head to look. I couldn't see how bad it was through my boot, but it hurt enough to discourage me from getting up.

I felt movement underneath me, and realized I was lying on my broom, which was either trying to escape or lift me. I sat up slightly and the broom rose into the air, taking me with it. I noticed the deep gouge marks in the wood, and slight pang of guilt hit me.

"Sorry…"

I couldn't tell if the broom accepted my apology or not, but it did take off, heading back for the towering silhouette of Kiamo Ko. I barely had the energy to hold on, and when we did reach the castle, I rolled off the broom, hitting the floor with thud, trembling. The pain in my ankle was unimaginable… it shouldn't hurt this much!

"Elphaba? Is that you I hear?" Nanny appeared in the doorway a few moments later, looking down at me and tsking. "You just had to go after them, didn't you? Even after Nanny warned you."

"Please… not now…"

Nanny approached me, pulling me up into the bed (none too gently). I let out a groan at being moved, but the bed was preferable to the stone floor.

"All right. What did you do this time?"

"My ankle…"

Nanny untied my boot and pulled it off, causing me to wince at the pain. "Well, this is a fine mess. Did you run into a box of nails?"

"Animal trap… it's just a flesh wound right?"

Nanny made another tsking noise. "It may have started that way, but it's infected now."

"What?" I managed to push myself up so I could examine the wound. The skin around it was a different green than usual, and I could see white-yellowish fluid seeping from it. "Ahh…" Well, that was a problem indeed.

"Why did you do the very thing Nanny told you not to?"

"I wanted to find Glinda…"

"That worked out well I see."

"Nanny, please, just bandage me up so I can go back out!" Pain shot through my head and I lay back down.

"You're not going back out, not like this. You've gone and allowed an infection into your body. This will take time for Nanny to fix, yes it will." The old woman disappeared, soon returning will a small bottle. "Hold still now."

"What is that?"

"Don't you worry," Nanny replied, pulling the cork out.

"I have a right to worry if you plan on—GAAAHHHH!"

Nanny had poured the mystery liquid on my wound, and as I'm sure you could tell, it was quite painful. I gripped the sheets tightly, slamming my fist into the wall.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic little Melena."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Yes, the pain made me irritable, but I had every right to be.

"I will when it stops being true." Nanny set the bottle aside and began to bandage the wound, which caused a hush to fall over us. "There. All done. Now stay this time."

"Fine," I grumbled, knowing that even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to leave. My injury left me incapacitated, much to my immense displeasure. All that I could do now was sit and wait while Garrett got farther away with my blonde witch.

* * *

A week passed… two weeks… the fever from my infection came and passed. Every time I closed my eyes, I was haunted by visions of Glinda calling for me, and no matter what I did or tried, I could never reach her. She was always pulled just out of my grasp, and I would awaken in a cold sweat, gasping for air.

My thirtieth birthday came and went, and though Nanny tried to bake a cake for the occasion, her old age affected her more than she wanted to admit, and it turned out pitiful. It didn't really matter; I wasn't in the mood for celebration of any sorts.

One spring day, as the cherry blossoms floated lazily through the open windows, I was making my way down into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Without Sarima and her sisters (and even the children), the castle seemed too large and quiet, and though I did enjoy my solitude at times, this was becoming more than I could handle.

Killjoy suddenly came bounding into the room, and my eyes fell on something he was rolling with his nose.

"Killjoy, come here," I said tiredly, wondering what he'd found this time.

The wolfdog came bounding over to me, jumping up to put his paws in my lap, and attempt to sniff and lick my hands as I scratched his head. I pushed him off gently before standing and approaching the item, picking it up. It looked like glass, though it was scratched and dull and sported a large crack in the side.

_Glinda paused for a few moments before picking it up and setting it on top of the papers on my desk. "It makes a lovely paperweight."_

_I chuckled. "Thank you, my sweet. I'm sure that was his intention as well."_

My eyes widened slightly. Was this… my glass orb? The one Turtle Heart had left for me… I quickly rushed back to my tower, Killjoy following me and whining at the loss of his toy. I sat on my bed, using a blanket to clean the orb off. It was my orb… I wondered if it would still work… why hadn't I thought of this earlier?

"Show me Glinda."

The orb flickered, apparently having trouble working, seeing as it had been dormant all these years.

"Please! I need to see her!" I didn't care if I looked ridiculous talking to this inanimate object. I was desperate. The orb suddenly lit up, causing me to squint and look away. When I looked back my eyes widened. "Glinda!"

There she was, huddled next to Sarima and the children, looking terrified.

"Glinda!" I called, but I knew she couldn't hear me.

"I'm telling you, when Elphaba finds us, she won't be happy with the way you've been treating us!" Glinda said angrily.

"Shut up!" I heard an unseen soldier yell.

"Your precious witch isn't coming," came Garrett's voice.

"Can't we just kill her now? She's been bitching every day!"

"NO!" I shouted, my heart racing. I hated this! I hated being helpless!

"No… we need her at least… the others… not so much."

"Please… no more," Sarima begged, and I could only assume that more than one of her sisters had been murdered.

"We'll do what we please, unless you prefer to lose the children."

"You wouldn't dare lay a finger on these children," Glinda said, but I sensed the tiny tremble in her voice.

"Don't push your luck. You may be saint… but that will only get you so far."

The blonde witch held the children and Sarima closer as a soldier approached… and then the orb flickered before going out.

"What… no! No, Glinda!" I hit the orb desperately, but that brought me nothing. My whole body was trembling with rage, and I threw the orb aside. "No…. no…. GLINDA!" My body moved of its own accord as I tore the Grimmerie from the shelf, opening it and flipping the pages desperately.

"_Eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen, eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen…_

"_Let her flesh not be torn, let her blood leave no stain. Would they beat her, let her feel no pain. Let her bones never break and however they try to destroy her, let her never die, let her never die!_

"_Eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen, eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka: eleka._

"_What good is this chanting? I don't even know what I'm reading! I don't even know what trick I ought to try. Glinda, where are you? Already dead or bleeding… one more disaster I can add to my generous supply? No good deed goes unpunished. No act of charity goes unresented. No good deed goes unpunished, that's my new creed. My road of good intentions led where such roads always lead. No good deed goes unpunished!_"

I fell onto the Grimmerie, my chest heaving. This book… my powers… everything… it was all useless. If I couldn't use it to save Glinda… what good was having it then? Why was I put in this life if I could do nothing right?

"_All right, enough - so be it… so be it, then. Let all Oz be agreed… I'm wicked through and through. Since I cannot succeed Glinda, saving you, I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again, ever again. No good deed will I do again_!"


	32. Entry 32

"I SWEAR TO OZ, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! "

"Elphaba, please, don't!"

"Go ahead! I dare you, witch!"

A blade whistling through the air… a spurt of blood…

"Elphaba!"

I suppose you're wondering how it came to all this… so am I.

* * *

Through what I had seen in the crystal, and through some strange, fever induced hallucination (who knew what to call it) I had deduced that Glinda and the others were being held at a cabin near dead water. The only body of water I knew to be profoundly "dead" was Kellswater, and that meant they were almost to the Emerald City. If they arrived there… well, it would not be favorable in the slightest. It was time to intervene now.

Despite Nanny's protests, I flew nonstop to Kellswater, which took me merely two days. Upon landing, I was ready to seriously hurt someone. I approached the run down cabin near the water's edge, wary of the gray liquid that never seemed to reflect nor hold light. It was enough to make one's skin crawl, but I didn't have the time to feel such a way.

Without further hesitation, I kicked the door open, quickly scanning the area before stepping inside, the floorboards creaking in protest. The air was stale and musty… I didn't like this…

A sudden blow between my shoulder blades quickly confirmed my suspicions. I fell to my knees, and my broom was quickly snatched up before I could react. I felt two soldiers seize my arms, yanking me to my feet.

"I knew you'd find us somehow."

I glared up at Garrett. "I told you… if you hurt Galinda… I was going to kill you."

"How do you know I hurt her?"

"Don't play with me… where is she?"

Garrett shrugged. "Don't know. She ran off a few nights ago."

"She got away…?"

"I wouldn't say that."

My head snapped up as the worst-case scenario came to my mind. "If she isn't breathing, I will remove your testicles with my foot."

"Such a temper you have. Does she really mean so much to you?"

"THIS IS NOT A FUCKING GAME!" I struggled against the soldiers holding me, and received a blow to the stomach for it.

"All right, if it will appease you." He looked at another soldier. "Bring her in… the blonde one."

The soldier nodded before moving into a different part of the cabin. He soon returned, throwing a familiar blonde figure to the floor.

My eyes widened at seeing her. "Glinda?"

The blonde looked up at my voice, and my heart sank. One black eye… dried blood which appeared to have run from the corner of her mouth and her nose… every inch of skin either bruised or bleeding… and her dress torn and ripped, and sporting unmistakable boot prints.

"E-Elphie?"

"Glinda…" I felt my rage turn white hot. "WHICH ONE OF YOU COWARDS HIT HER?"

The other soldiers seemed wary of me now, but Garrett merely said, "I did."

I turned my head slowly to look at him. "YOU…" And that was it. The last straw. With a yell, I unleashed a wave of energy, throwing the soldiers back into the walls, splintering the wood. "YOU BASTARD!" I lunged for him, realizing too late that his bayonet was in his hand.

I felt it go through my stomach… and come out the other side.

"Elphaba!"

I clutched at the weapon, letting out short, painful gasps. A cough, and Garrett's suit was sprayed with blood.

"You should have stayed, Elphaba… you should have stayed in the Emerald City with me."

I glared at him, stumbling back a few steps as he pulled the weapon free. Not like this… not after everything I had gone through. It would not end this way. With a growl, I formed a fist with one hand, falling to my knees.

"You should just give up Elphaba. It's over."

"Not… yet!" I let out a yell and I slammed my fist into the floor, watching as the wood splintered under my magic. Even Garrett was taken by surprise as the floor collapsed underneath him, and the second he fell, I was on him. I grabbed his shirt collar and began to repeatedly strike him across the face. I knew that with each blow, my heart was pumping more and more blood out of my body… but I didn't care. Blinded as I was by rage, all I cared for was revenge on the man who had dared to strike the woman I loved.

"How does it feel, Fae?"

"SHUT UP!" I struck him again.

"Does it make you feel better about Fiyero's death?"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" I slammed his head into the floor a few times.

Garrett just laughed, blood running from either side of his mouth. "Go ahead. Kill me. I've already left my mark on your precious blonde."

I grabbed him with both hands, picking him up and throwing him into the wall, grabbing his bayonet and using it to impale him, pinning him to the wall. "Your death will not be a pleasant one," I growled.

"I'm sure because you're trained in the art of killing, aren't you?"

I punched him in the face, hearing his nose break before his head snapped back into the wall. "I SWEAR TO OZ, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"Elphaba, please, don't!" Glinda was grabbing onto my arm, trying to pull me away. "He's not worth it!"

"He beat you!"

"Elphaba please—"

"Go ahead! I dare you, witch!"

My need for revenge overruled my better judgment. With an angry yell, I grabbed the golden knife off my belt and turned, thrusting it into his throat and turning it. His blood spurted onto me as he took his last few breaths.

"Elphaba!"

When he died, I felt nothing… except exhaustion. I collapsed, holding my bleeding wound.

"Elphaba…" The blonde was on her knees beside me.

"I told you… I'd protect you…" I gently stroked her face, and she held my hand there. "I'm sorry… I failed…"

"No, Elphaba… you didn't. You came… just like I knew you would… Elphie… please don't die… don't leave me alone."

"You're not alone… you have the baby." I placed my hand on her stomach, trying to smile.

Glinda shook her head. "No…" she said tearfully.

"Wh-what?"

"When I tried to escape… after he beat me… I was bleeding down there a lot… and then I felt weird…" Tears started down her face. "And the baby stopped kicking…"

I felt as thought time had slowed. Our baby… a miscarriage? "N-no… it can't…"

"I felt her die, Elphie… she's gone…"

I let my head fall to the floor with a sigh as my vision started to go fuzzy. "I'm sorry Glin… I'm so sorry."

Glinda lay down with me, stroking my hair. "I love you Elphie… and if you must die, then I'll die here with you."

"I love you too…"

* * *

_Today could have been the day,_

_That you blow out your candles,_

_Make a wish as you close your eyes._

_Today could have been the day,_

_Everybody was laughing,_

_Instead I just sit here and cry._

_Who would you be?_

_What would you look like,_

_When you looked at me for the very first time?_

_Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life._

I don't know how we got back to Kiamo Ko… I don't know how I survived being impaled… and I didn't know how Glinda would survive losing her child.

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you,_

_I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,_

_Such a ray of light we never knew,_

_Gone too soon._

"Glinda?"

The blonde was sitting on the bed, her eyes clouded and unfocused. She was absently stroking her stomach, almost as if trying to find the bump that had once been there. I approached hesitantly, sitting beside her.

"We… we were going to be so happy… I was finally going to see a pair of big sapphire-chocolate eyes looking up at me… tiny little hands reaching for me…"

I put an arm around her, kissing the side of her head. "I'm so sorry…"

Glinda clung to me, shoulders shaking with sobs. "W-why did he take her from me?"

"I don't know…"

_Would you have been president_

_Or a painter, an author, or sing like your mother?_

_One thing is evident,_

_Would've given all I had,_

_Would've loved you like no other._

_Who would you be,_

_What would you look like,_

_Would you have my smile and her eyes?_

_Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life._

They say that time heals all wounds… I don't believe that for a moment. It might be able to dull the sting, but the scars will always remain… and sometimes, those can hurt more than the wound itself.

For Glinda, that was very true.

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you,_

_I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,_

_Such a ray of light we never knew,_

_Gone too soon._

I did try. I did everything I could to try and bring Glinda back from the dark place she'd settled. The death of our child devastated me too, don't get me wrong. I thought about her every day (Glinda always referred to the baby as a her), and how if I had just been a little quicker, I could have saved her.

"You can't blame this solely on yourself, Elphie. I tried to run… to escape from them… I should have known better."

"If I hadn't left… if I had just taken you with me…"

Glinda put a delicate finger to my lips. "Don't… we can't keep torturing ourselves like this."

A year passed… and I told Glinda we could try again. She was hesitant at first, but soon conceded. We tried several times… and each failed attempt only depressed the blonde further.

"No more, Elphie."

I paused, looking down at the naked blonde beneath me. "What?" I asked, slightly panting.

The good witch gently cupped my cheek, and through the darkness, I saw a sad smile on her face. "It's not going to happen… so no more."

"No… no, it just takes time and patience. It hasn't been that long."

"Elphaba… it's over… we're not getting another baby."

I didn't want to give up… I wanted to make this up to Glinda… I wanted to give her what she deserved. "No…" I let my forehead come to rest on her shoulder as I resumed where I'd left off, feeling Glinda wrap her arms around me

"It's okay, Elphaba… I've accepted it… and you should too."

And as much as I hated to do so… we stopped trying.

* * *

Life slipped into a passive pattern. I did all I could to try and track down Sarima and her sisters: I spied and snooped and bribed… I spent a year chasing every useless clue, and for nothing.

Oh, well, we did find Liir though. Apparently, one of the soldiers felt pity for him, seeing as Liir's adoration for the soldiers caused him to follow them, and left him tied in a barn. Had they known he was the bastard child of Fiyero, things might have been different

My relationship with Glinda grew tense, as the death of the baby wedged itself further between us.

And then, one night, it finally fell apart.

We were preparing to turn in for the night, and I was slipping out of my heavy boots. Glinda sat at her vanity, brushing out her hair. After putting on my own nightdress, I stood, coming up behind her and hugging her gently.

"Hey… maybe tonight you'd consider…"

Glinda sighed, lowering the brush. "I said no more."

"It's been two years…" I kissed her ear gently.

"It's not going to happen, Elphaba. We had our chance… and now it's gone. I'm tired of torturing myself."

"Glinda—"

"No."

I sighed, pulling away and turning my back to her. I'd had enough of this martyr attitude. "Apparently you didn't really want one then." I suddenly felt something hard hit the back of my head, and I whipped around, realizing Glinda had thrown her brush at me. "What the hell?"

Glinda was standing now, trembling slightly. "How dare you say something like that… you think I didn't want that baby? I loved her more than anything!"

"Then why the hell don't you want to try again?"

"Because I don't want a new baby! Don't you understand? I want her!" Glinda collapsed back into her chair, sobbing. "I want her… the one I lost… I feel her every day… at night, I hear her calling for me…"

I crossed my arms with a sigh. "Don't you think I miss her too?"

"Well, you're so eager to make a new one!"

"We owe it to her to try again… if we don't, then Garrett wins."

"Don't even start with him… you killed him."

"He hurt you."

Glinda glared at me. "You just can't stop, can you? Always a need for revenge. Why can't you ever let anything go?"

"Are you telling me you'd rather him still be alive? The man who killed our child?"

"I'd rather you not be a cold-blooded murderer!"

"I did what I had to!"

"You did what your rage wanted!"

"Well, you're too saintly for your own good!"

"And you're a wicked witch!"

We were in each other's faces now, and a silence ensued.

I sighed. "You're right… I am… but being such keeps me alive."

"Elphaba—"

"No… I'm done…"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I tried to do the right thing by you… and I… I just couldn't… so perhaps…"

Glinda took a step back. "Perhaps we just need time… to settle our differences," she finished.

I looked at her, my heart aching. Good witch… wicked witch… our relationship torn apart… There was nothing else to be done.

Glinda left the next morning. There were no tears shed this time.

* * *

Left to my own devices once again, I found ways to keep my mind busy. Chistery, as I had found out, began to repeat words he heard me say, revealing that he was, in fact, a Monkey. He also found a female companion and soon enough, I was living with a small clan of them.

Living in the castle alone was perhaps a little lonely at times, but it wasn't terribly hard to resign myself to a life of solitude once again. Besides, I had my animal (Animal) companions… and I had also found some of Fiyero's life science books. Those, along with Dr. Dillamond's research, allowed me to begin a few… experiments.

Chistery and the others had never taken entirely well to tree climbing, maybe because there weren't too many trees to climb inside. So, I began to catch rocs that I had seen flying around the castle. After killing them in the most humane way I could find, I removed their wings and began trying to sew them onto the monkeys' backs, using the Grimmerie as a guide.

I failed. Several times. Some were so bad that a mercy killing of the creature was the only thing I could do. Still, it wasn't like I had anything better to do with my life, so I persisted, determined to get it right.

Some nights, the oppression of memories that Kiamo Ko held were too much for me, and I'd take off on my broom, never knowing where I was going, but just knowing that I had to get away. The memory of Glinda leaving replyaed itself so many times in my mind that eventually, it began to fade. I forgot words that were said… but one thing I would never forget is the look on Glinda's face. Cold sadness, and I realized that we had always resigned ourselves to the end… at least I had. Perhaps that had driven us farther apart… and as for the baby… well, I had almost fully pushed that from my mind. The only reminder was the scar I still bore on my stomach… the last thing Garrett had left me.

Even in death, he forced himself upon me.

* * *

About five years passed before the storm. The night started off quiet as usual. I could hear a wind picking up outside, but I paid little attention, seeing as I was preparing another batch of the sedatives for my monkeys. I had more or less perfected the wing attachment, but could not continue if I thought they were in pain.

A violent howl from outside finally caught my attention, and I was forced to look up, suspecting one of the monkeys at first.

"Chistery?" I called. No reply. Reluctantly, I left my work to go out onto the balcony, almost losing my hat to the fierce wind. I held it with one hand as I scanned the area, my cloak whipping back and forth in the wind. I couldn't understand why the winds were so violent tonight… something just didn't feel right.

And then I saw it descend from the clouds: a monster of a tornado. Even with all the things I'd seen, I was in awe at its sheer size. I couldn't imagine how such a force of nature had been created on a once calm night. Slowly, the tornado disappeared from my sight as it moved east across Oz. I waited until the night became calm and silent once again before I retreated back inside the castle.

The letter came a week later.

_Elphaba,_

_If you do in fact still reside at Kiamo Ko, then I write to regretfully inform you that your sister has passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. It is my hope that you are able to attend the memorial service, which will be held shortly; if not for me, then at least to honor Nessarose's memory._

I crumpled the letter with one hand before returning to my work, seeing as the sedative wouldn't last all morning. I had to push any emotion from my mind, as awful as that may have sounded.

"Who was the letter from?" Liir, now fourteen, asked as he changed the crows' rags.

"It is my business, and you will do well to keep your nose out," I replied, checking the Grimmerie again.

"Are you going to leave again?"

"I said stay out." I looked towards Chistery, who was sitting on my wardrobe. "Chistery, it's time to help Nanny down into the dining room."

The Monkey hopped down, his wings slowing his descent before he ran from the room. Having him around was exceedingly helpful to me, seeing as Nanny was eighty-five and was now the dependent one, but I couldn't spare the time to help.

As I made my way downstairs after finishing my work, I figured that Liir would get the picture to leave me alone, but he instead followed me, uncrumpling the letter I'd tossed as he did so.

"You have a sister?"

I reached the dining room. "Go fetch the breakfast."

Liir made a face, but went into the kitchen, and I sat down as Chistery helped Nanny into a chair. The old woman was practically deaf and blind, and all she could do besides hobble to and from this room to her own was sleep. Chistery hopped onto the table, running over to sit by me and I scratched his head affectionately, smiling slightly when he rolled onto his back, grabbing my fingers as I rubbed his stomach.

"I'm going with you," Liir said as he came back into the room, setting my teacup in front of me.

"No, you're not. Who would take care of Nanny and the animals?"

"Chistery can—"

"Chistery can't. He's as forgetful as she is; you know this."

"You never let me do _anything_."

"You can do the washing."

"You know what I mean."

"What are you arguing about?" Nanny asked, interrupting us.

"Nothing," I replied quickly.

"Nessa's dead," Liir said.

I inhaled sharply. "Liir, don't you dare upset her. If you say one more word I will remove your testicles with my foot."

"What?" Nanny asked.

"Did died dead," Chistery supplied.

"What?"

"NESSA'S DEAD."

At that Nanny burst into tears. "Is this true Elphaba? Is your sister dead?"

"You'll answer for this, Liir," I growled before I stood to console the old woman. "Yes, Nanny, it's true."

"She went right into the bosom of Lurline on a golden chariot." Nanny wiped her eyes with a napkin. "When are you leaving for the funeral?"

"You're too old to travel Nanny. I'm going by broom anyway, or else I'll never make it in time. Liir will take care of you," I said.

"No I will not."

I shot Liir a harsh look.

"He's a good boy, but not as good as my Nessarose. Liir, I'll take my tea in my room." Nanny stood and Chistery ran to help her. "And what if those soldiers should come back? This boy can't protect old Nanny and know her needs."

"You have nothing to fear," I said. "They think I'm dead…"

"I'm too old to be led away in chains like poor Sarima and her family. How could you save me when you couldn't even save them?"

I forced myself to remain detached from any emotions associated with that statement. "I'm still working on that."

"Seven years? You're very stubborn. I believe they're all in some common grave, and thank Lurlina you weren't among them Liir."

"I tried to rescue them," Liir boasted, and I rolled my eyes.

"Do you think they're still alive?" Nanny asked me.

"I could find out nothing," I said for what felt like the ten thousandth time. "Whether they had been whisked to the Emerald City or murdered, I can't say. I spent a year following every useless clue, you _know _this."

The image of Sarima imprisoned somewhere, or dead… still withholding my forgiveness… the thought pained me worse than water. Was this to be my punishment? Was I to carry the guilt of Fiyero's death until my own demise?

"Must my own household whip me so? Take your tea and go, fiend," I finally said, turning away from the two. Once left alone, I was finally able to think of my sister. I had done my best to remove myself from politics, but even in her death, Nessa was dragging me back in. I wondered if maybe I should have stayed when she asked… would this still have happened? Was I to be blamed for another death?

And what if I had been there? Would I have been able to save my sister from this supposed falling house? Would we both have been crushed underneath it? And what a way to go… they said she went peacefully, and I suppose if a house was dropped suddenly on one's head, well, there wouldn't be much pain, seeing as the neck would most likely snap first under the weight.

I headed back up to my tower, making a mental list of the things I had to bring with me. I would take the broom, obviously… the strange green bottle, seeing as it had been my mother's… and the Grimmerie. When I stared at the pages for long enough, the chicken scratch still hardly made sense. Perhaps my father could see more truth with his holy eyes.

"Nanny's asleep."

I looked up at Liir's voice. "It's your own fault for upsetting her."

"She had a right to know."

"She's far too old to handle such news."

"I want to go with you."

"I already said no, now stop asking me."

"If you're going to Munchkinland, I have a right to go too."

I glared at Liir, but as I did so, a sudden vision of a young looking Glinda came to my mind, and I looked away. Damn Liir and these goddamn maternal instincts that would not release me from the haunting memory of the miscarriage!

"You will stay here and look after things, or else this place shall be burned to the ground. And that is the end of this discussion."

* * *

_So it's back to Munchkinland I must go… returning to the Colwen Grounds. I don't know what awaits me, or how people will react now that Nessa holds no power… I can only hope my arrival does not mean death._

**Song used: Gone Too Soon by Daughtry**


	33. Entry 33

When I landed in Munchkinland, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. After all, my sister hadn't been the most well liked person. My eyes fell on the partially destroyed farmhouse, presumably the one that had fallen on her. I was approached by a one munchkin, less-than-welcoming committee, who didn't seem pleased to see me, but didn't seem upset either.

"Your lineage no longer allows you any special liberties n Munchkinland," he said. "With the death of your sister, the Thropp eminence has at last been abolished."

Oh. Oh, my father would not like that at all. Still, I wasn't going to accept such a remark without a response.

"It is abolished when I say it is," I replied, even though I knew the honorific hadn't been used much. Apparently, Nessa had been titillated by the title "Witch of the East" and had gotten more in touch with her… sorcery side.

"I don't need much," I said as the munchkin showed me to a room. "Just a bed for a couple of nights, and I would like to see my father. Do you know where Shell is?"

"Shell has run off to some mission or other in the Glikkus."

Shell gone too… now it was just my father and myself… Oz, this would not be a fun conversation.

"That will be all," I said, sitting down. I was rather tired… and sad.

"And who is this?"

I realized that at this age, my father's sight was all but gone. "It's your other daughter," I announced as I approached.

"Fabala? What will I do without my Nessarose?"

I sat beside him and wiped the tears from his face, even though they burned me. My father bore me no ill will, of course, but Nessa would always mean more.

* * *

I spent time with him, even though he couldn't stay awake most of the time. One afternoon, as we were taking our teas, he seemed more energetic than usual and asked me if I were really a witch.

"Oh, what's a witch? Nessie claimed to be one, and we both know her strict feelings on such things. In any case, can you read what this says?" I pulled the Grimmerie from my bag and set it on the table in front of him. "Can you make it out?"

My father leaned in close, running his fingers over the words, as if he could read that way, but he shook his head and said, "It's some foreign alphabet. Can you read it?"

"At times I feel like I can, but perhaps it's just my eyes playing tricks on me."

"You always had strong eyes. Even as a toddler, you could see things others couldn't."

"Ha. You mean I could see how the world worked."

"No... Turtle Heart made a sort of glass orb for you… you would stare at it for hours. I always did wonder what you saw in there…"

I looked away. "Horrors…"

"What?"

"I was probably looking at myself."

My father shook his head. "No… you hated yourself."

"Where did I learn to hate?"

"You were born with it… a curse to my life."

"Why was I cursed to be different?"

"You were my fault."

I looked back at him with sharp eyes. "And Nessa?"

"She is dead. What does it matter to you now?"

"My life is still running on."

"And mine is running out. Our family line has come to an end, even you can see that." He sighed. "I can't believe… after all this time… this is how we will end."

I sighed, closing the Grimmerie and putting it away before I stood. Perhaps I did hate myself, and always had… perhaps what I saw in that glass were images of this life…

I heard footsteps, and I turned to greet my father's visitor… but what I saw caused my to instinctively smooth out the wrinkles in my skirt.

"Miss Glinda of the Arduennas."

"Elphaba Thropp, the last true Eminent Thropp, no matter what they say."

Glinda approached slowly, either through age or shyness, or because her ridiculous dress weighed so Ozdamn much. She looked like a huge Glindaberry bush; that was all I could think.

"You haven't changed a whit," she said, looking up at me. Through the powder and wrinkles that had barely set through aging, I saw the face of my timid roommate.

I struggled to find my voice, to say something to the woman I still loved, and all I could manage was, "Glinda, you look awful in the getup. I would have thought you developed some sense by now."

She chose to smile at that, thank Oz. "Is that your father?"

I nodded, but when I noticed that he'd dozed off again, I said, "Come, we'll continue talking in the gardens."

Glinda linked her arm with mine as she led me away, and my face grew hot. Even now she had an effect on me…

"I don't see how you can even gather enough steam to walk in that," I said.

"When on is in the provinces, one must dress in style. Or are the satin bells too much?"

"Excessive. Someone get the scissors; this is a disaster."

We laughed, a sound I wasn't used to. How easily I lost my composure around the good witch!

"My dear… what they've done with the buildings here."

I looked up in time to see a written slogan: SHE WALKED ALL OVER US.

"I never cared much for architecture," I said. While I did not care for these slanders on my sister, I could not deny that her reign had been an almost cruel one.

"How are you holding up?"

I sighed. "My life runs on, regardless of the events that happen around me."

Glinda frowned slightly. "Must you always remain so indifferent?"

"It is how I survive. While I do mourn Nessa's passing, I cannot allow it to fully interfere with my life."

"And what sort of life is that, Elphaba?"

My own name sounded foreign, and I wondered how long it had been since it had left Glinda's lips.

"I admit, the life I live is solitary, but it's mine… and I have resigned myself to it."

A silence passed.

"Were you here when it happened?"

Glinda looked away. "I was the closest… shortly after it happened, I arrived, and I can assure you, she went quick. There was no blood. The munchkins, well, they seemed rather shocked, seeing as a house had just dropped out of the sky, and I did what I could to calm them. And then the girl came out with her little dog… she was dressed in some odd clothing… I remember I was wearing a lovely salmon-colored dress that day, and it really suited me—"

"Glinda, the girl," I said, trying to pull the blonde from her fashion-driven musings, seeing as I had not heard that the house had been carrying a passenger.

"Oh, yes, well she said that her name was Dorothy something-or-other and she came from a place called Kansas. I sent her to the Wizard with the shoes as a sort of protection."

"That was a cruel thing to do." My eyes widened slightly as the realization hit. I'd forgotten all about Nessa's slippers! "Wait… you what?"

"It was for protection, like I said. You know Oz can be a brutal place to outsiders."

"The girl kills my sister and you give her Nessa's shoes?"

"Elphie, she was trapped inside the thing, not piloting it!"

"I don't care! Nessa left those shoes to me! It's all I have left of her!" I broke away from the blonde, glaring at her.

"Elphaba… they're shoes."

"You know very well they are more than just shoes. You had no right to give them away!"

"I had every right! After you left, I was just as much of a sister to Nessa as you had been! Those shoes were falling apart by the time I enchanted them!"

"Yes, you did so much for her. You even slept with her!"

Glinda's expression changed to one of hurt and sadness, with a hint of anger. "I already admitted that was a mistake…"

"A mistake? Glinda, she never moved on! You were the only one she wanted to be with!"

"I know that, and I feel awful… but I thought you forgave me for that."

"I won't hold it against you, if that's what you mean."

"So you don't forgive me?"

"This isn't about me!"

"You're right. This is about a pair of shoes. Elphaba, I just don't understand you!"

"Look who's talking!"

We stood there as a tense silence passed. We'd been through too much to allow a pair of shoes to come between us, but I didn't care. Everything else had been taken from me.

"I want those shoes. If they fall into the hands of the Wizard, he'll find some way to use their magic for his own twisted gain!"

Glinda sighed. "I don't have the time to keep fighting you in this, Elphaba. Come by my bedchambers tonight if you wish to continue this discussion." The blonde passed by me, and as she did, a wave of her familiar scent hit me. I almost faltered and stopped her, but she was gone by the time I turned around. Perhaps it was just as well.

* * *

Seeing as I had no knowledge of where Glinda's "bedchambers" were, I had to ask around, finally finding out that she had a little place by the orphanage. During dinner, I pondered whether or not I should go. She seemed to remain firm in her decision to give away Nessa's shoes… and if that were true, why did she want to talk to me? And in her bedchambers… Being unable to decide no, I figured I would go, just to see what she wanted.

When I arrived, the maid was reluctant to let me in, but she eventually did and I made my way to the closed door of the bedroom. My fists clenched and unclenched a few times before I hesitantly raised one and knocked.

"Come in."

I opened the door and entered, closing it behind me. "Glinda?" I called, not seeing her in the somewhat dimly lit room. She only had a few candles burning, and I figured she was getting ready for bed. After all, she would be easy to spot in such a ridiculous getup.

"I'll be out in a moment."

I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, not sure if I should sit, seeing as I didn't know how long I'd be staying.

The door to the bathroom opened and the blonde emerged, still dressed in her earlier clothes, but the dress seemed to have deflated a bit. "I have to admit… I wasn't sure if you'd come."

"I considered it."

"You're not still mad about the shoes, are you?"

I sighed. "Nessa left those to me… they are all I have left of my sister. I just wish you'd have let me have a say before you gave them to that girl."

Glinda softened at that, and approached me. "I'm sorry Elphie…" Her hands came up to touch my face gently. "These past years have not been kind to you…"

I pushed her hands away, not wanting her pity. "Don't feel sorry for me. I chose this."

"No you didn't…"

I looked away from her. I could not bear this sort of talk, not if I wanted to keep from hurting. "I'll have to find the girl myself."

"Elphaba, she's a child. Don't you take this out on her."

"These are the repercussions of being a witch, my sweet Glinda. Revenge becomes second nature, as awful as that may sound."

Glinda sighed and moved to sit on the bed. "You haven't changed…"

"As you point out earlier… but I'm not the only one."

The blonde looked at me with a small smile. "I did miss you, you know…"

I froze at that. "Don't do this."

"Don't do what? Admit my feeling? Tell you what I've been thinking about for five years? How I felt when I saw you today…"

"D-don't…" My voice wavered, a rare feat.

"We needed our distance, yes… and I wanted to come back, but I knew you needed time to think as well. Who was I to rush you?"

"I did… think."

"And?"

I looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "And I don't know what you want from me."

"Elphaba… I love you…"

There it was. The final blow. My carefully constructed walls came crumbling down, despite my best efforts.

"Glinda…"

"You look at me and tell me that you don't love me anymore, and I will never bother you again."

I looked into those piercing sapphire eyes, but I could not bring myself to say those words. I could not lie to the woman who had once carried my child.

"I can't…" I barely whispered.

Glinda held her arms out to me, and I finally broke. I ran to her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I will always belong to you," I heard her whisper, her lips mere inches from my ear. That sent a shiver down my spine and I kissed her, perhaps a bit rougher than I had intended, but Glinda clinging to me told me that it wasn't a problem. She pulled me down with me as she fell back, and I soon found myself fumbling with her dress.

"Damn woman, how many layers do you have on?" I grunted after ripping the dress open.

Glinda just giggled. "Am I not worth it?"

I finally freed her from the fabric, tossing it all to the floor. "You know I will never think poorly of you," I said, running my hands down bare skin. Glinda's eyes fluttered closed and she sighed at my touch, which I had to admit was reassuring. I felt her own hands undoing my dress and soon enough, my verdigris was exposed to the world. I leaned down, leaving a trail of kisses up Glinda's neck and smiling slightly when she tilted her head back to accommodate me.

So perhaps the shoes were to me what the baby had been to Glinda. An eye for an eye, and now we're both blind. Still, Glinda's forgiveness did lift a weight off me, and as my hands continued down her body, it occurred to me just how much I'd missed this. A sudden burning in my breast told me that Glinda had taken said body part in her mouth, and I couldn't hold back a small gasp. It was unexpected, after all.

"Nice to see you still use the same oil after all these years," the blonde said after pulling away from the erect nipple painfully slow.

I looked down at her. "Nnn… what?"

"Well, you still taste the same…"

"As long as it pleases you."

That night, we made up for the five years we'd missed, and just before the dawn broke, I finally collapsed on top of the blonde, breathing heavily as my heart raced. I felt her arms wrap around me, and a gentle kiss on my temple.

"I love you Elphie."

"Love you too…"

I cannot remember a time I slept better.

* * *

Waking up the next morning was somewhat disorienting. As I opened my eyes sleepily, I soon realized that I was not in my own room, let alone my home. I sat up, wincing slightly when the sheets slid from my body. The events from last night came back to me, but I still couldn't understand why my back hurt so much. I got out of bed and approached the mirror, turning around and looking over my shoulder. Ah. There was the culprit: several long nail scratches.

"Glinda…"

"I can't help it if you give me immense pleasure."

I looked up at the voice and saw the blonde smiling at me, her face slightly pink.

"Apparently so… Oz woman, are you trying to take my green off?"

Glinda approached me slowly, wrapping her arms around me before kissing what parts of my chest she could reach. "Maybe I want some for myself."

"And this whole body isn't enough for you?"

Glinda frowned slightly. "I don't know if you're leaving me again…"

I held her close, resting my chin on her head. "I won't leave you again… as long as you promise… not to leave me."

Glinda looked up at me. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes… Kiamo Ko had been quite lonely without you."

The good witch hugged me tighter. "I love you so much… but I can't go back with you."

"Why not?" I asked, my heart dropping slightly.

"I have a duty here… and to the people of the Gillikin. I can't hide in that castle with you any longer."

I sighed. "You know I cannot stay…"

"I know…" The blonde pulled away slightly. "Well… what are we going to do?"

"I suppose for now… we'll have to live with a long distance relationship."

Glinda let out a huff. "But I don't like being so far away from you."

"Nor I from you, but this is all we can do for now." I gave her a gentle kiss before pulling away, beginning to gather up my discarded clothes.

"Elphaba."

I paused, looking at the blonde. "Glinda."

The good witch approached me, pushing my clothes out of my hands before I was pushed back onto the bed myself. My eyes widened slightly as she straddled my lap, running her hands through my hair. My hands came up to rest on her behind, and Glinda shoved me onto my back with a grin.

"I don't want you to cover that wonderful body of yours…" she said, leaning down to take my earlobe between her teeth.

"Glin… nnn… I have to go…"

"No… you don't get to leave… not yet."

"Do you plan to keep me here?"

"Perhaps… would you like to find out?"

I wasn't sure if that would turn out in my favor, so I said, "Fine, I'll stay."

Glinda sat up. "Good." She hopped off the bed and disappeared into her closet.

"Going somewhere?"

"I just need to meet with a few people today."

I sighed before sitting up. "This sounds familiar…"

Glinda poked her head out of the closet. "Just don't kill anyone this time, all right?"

"I'll try not to."

"Elphaba." Her tone was firm this time.

"I won't. Calm down."

Glinda emerged dressed in another ridiculous dress, and I rolled my eyes.

"Promise you'll stay here… and stay out of trouble?" the blonde said.

"I'll stay, all right?"

Glinda leaned in and kissed me deeply, holding it out as long as she could. "I love you."

"I love you too."

And then she was gone, leaving me to sigh alone on the bed.

* * *

True to my word, I stayed until the good witch returned, and we spent a good part of the afternoon in her bed. It would seem as though five years had really gotten to the good witch, and she had a lot of pent up… sexual tension. I'm sure I sported more than a few nail marks from the blonde, and I couldn't remember us ever being this active even during our Shiz days.

"Wait…" I paused in what I'd been doing, letting my head come to rest on her shoulder, panting.

"Elphiieeee…" The blonde writhed underneath me.

"My sweet, I am not as young as when we met. You're asking for a lot in a short amount of time."

"I'm sorry… but please… don't stop now…"

As exhausted as I was, I forced myself to get back up and resume, letting out a surprised muffled noise when Glinda pulled me down for a kiss, arching her back. Suddenly, our positions were switched, and I found the blonde on top of me. She began to grind her hips down towards mine, and I noticed that my fingers were still inside her. Apparently if I couldn't finish, she'd get the job done herself.

Eventually, she did finish, and she collapsed on top of me, kissing my neck. I started to withdraw, but she groaned in protest. "No… I like having you inside me…"

"All right…"

Glinda turned my head slightly and our lips met again.

"Glin… you know Nessa's memorial service is tomorrow… we can't do stay in bed all day…"

"I know… why do you think I chose to do it today?"

"Ah… I see… you are a clever witch."

Glinda settled herself on my chest, closing her eyes. "I learned from you."

* * *

The memorial service the next day reminded me somewhat of Dr. Dillamond's, except much more grand of course. The Wizard even had a representative sent, and my eyes also fell on Madame Morrible. The old headmistress looked more like a fish now than ever, and it took all my willpower to remain silent and in my seat. My father wept so much that he brought on an asthma attack and I had to walk him outside to help calm him down.

"His Wizardness has insisted to speak with you," Morrible said to me afterwards.

I glared at her. "I have no interest in speaking to him."

"He will be arriving tonight under cover of dark."

Had this been a comedic scene, my eyes would have popped out of my head. "He wouldn't come here! He wouldn't dare!"

"Miss Thropp, I assure you, he will be here to speak to your family."

"My father is not up to receiving him."

"Then he will speak to you, and you will do well to keep yourself in check this time, or it could press badly on your father and brother… and yourself of course."

My fists clenched tightly. "You have already branded me a witch… but I will meet with him."

Morrible gave me the awful grin. "I knew you could still see reason, despite this act you put on."

"Elphie!"

I turned at the voice in time to see Glinda approaching me. Her eyes fell on Morrible and she paused.

"And Miss Upland, of course…" Morrible added before she left. I would have started after her, but my father needed to be taken home… and I couldn't do anything with Glinda watching.

"Elphaba?"

"It's fine… I need to take my father home…"

"Will I see you later?"

"Maybe… we'll see… apparently I have business to attend to."

Just as Morrible had said, the Wizard did arrive that night, and while my father was left to sleep, I was ushered out into a different room as the Wizard set up in the ballroom. When he decided he was comfortable enough, I was to be brought in, but first, I had to consent to a search. I focused on my rage as I was poked and prodded in different areas.

"Arms up."

I did what they asked reluctantly. "If you try to touch my breasts, I am not above breaking your arms."

One suddenly pulled the small bottle from my pocket. "What is this?"

My eyes widened slightly. "It's nothing… just something my mother left me."

They exchanged a look. "You can bring nothing in," he said, not giving it back, which I had to admit, did not make me happy. Finally, they finished. "You may enter now."

"I have the ability to reinstate the Eminent Thropp line, so don't you tell me what I can and cannot do in this house!" I called to their backs. They ignored me, and that was probably for the best. Angrily, I headed into the ballroom, sitting in the one lonely chair.

"Elphaba… it's so good to see you again."

I watched a short, white-haired man came into view, and it occurred to me that this was the Wizard. He hardly seemed intimidating… had I really feared this man in my youth?

_In my youth, it was the skeleton I dealt with._

That was true. "Why did you ask to see me?"

The Wizard drew closer. "We… you and I… we didn't have the best of first impressions."

"Oh, you mean when you sent me to that awful woman to use me?" I stood up angrily, knocking my chair over. Wow, that hadn't taken long.

"Elphaba, I never meant to hurt you."

"Well you have… you have hurt me."

The Wizard sighed. "I didn't want this, you know… when my balloon landed here, I didn't know what to think."

I froze. A balloon… hadn't Glinda and I read something about a balloon back at Shiz? That night in Morrible's office… "A red balloon?"

"Yes… you are a smart one, aren't you?"

"Don't patronize me. Tell me why you have come!"

"How long have you spent looking for Sarima?"

I inhaled sharply at that. "No… no, you will not hold my failure over my head like that!" Had I been younger and more naïve, I would have lunged for him with the intent to maim, but I knew better, so I remained where I was.

"I merely ask to see if you remember her having children… a daughter, to be specific."

Nor… could it be… was she still alive? "If you're keeping her as a political hostage—"

"Of course not… nothing like that. I was merely suggesting we make a trade."

I crossed my arms. "Do not ask me to be your pawn again."

"Elphaba, you always assume the worst. No, all I want is the Grimmerie… you know, the book you took from the palace?"

"I know what it is." But in all honesty, I did not want to give it to him. The idea of something that powerful in his hands… and if he did get Nessa's shoes… well, it would just be a problem. "And with as much respect as I can muster for you, I must refuse."

"Elphaba, don't be like this—"

"It's too late." I turned and started for the exit. "And tell your men that I'd like my mother's trinket back."

"You mean this?"

I froze before turning, seeing the bottle in the Wizard's hand. However, it was the look on his face that took me aback; he seemed almost shocked, and was staring at me as if I were a ghost.

"This was your mother's…?"

"Yes, now if you could have so much of a heart to give it back. You have, after all, taken everything else from me."

The Wizard looked down. "And now I'd like to give it all back."

"What are you mumbling about? Just give me the bottle and let me be on my way—"

He looked at me again. "I gave this to your mother… I have one just like it myself." A pause. "I always wanted a child…"

And the last few pieces of my world shattered.


	34. Entry 34

Even at the tender age of four, I was perfectly aware of what my mother was doing. Every afternoon, I knew that after we ate lunch, she'd put Nessa down for her nap and then hook me up to that harness outside. Then Turtle Heart would place the glass orb in front of me before he disappeared into the house with my mother. Of course, even four-year-old me didn't know such things as sex and affairs, but I did know that my mother was supposed to lie in bed with my father, and he was always absent. This continued, for the two knew that I would not speak of it, seeing as I was only partial to screeching "Horrors" every now and then.

But I knew, and as I grew older, I came to understand what had transpired between my mother and the Quadling. My father knew it too, and though he too loved Turtle Heart, my mother was on the receiving end of his rage. One night, they got into a rather hearted argument over who Nessa's real father was. Of course, there was no way to tell for sure (my mother had slept with both men around the same time), but that was when I found out that Nessa and I might be only half-sisters. This didn't diminish my love for her, but I knew that it would always drive a wedge into our family. My mother's infidelity had unintentionally torn us apart… perhaps it was fitting that I killed her then.

Now… faced with the prospect that this man… the object of my rage and hatred could be my biological father… it was too much.

"No… you can't be… my father is Frexspar Thropp!"

"Elphaba… you cannot deny the facts."

"What facts? All you have as evidence are two glass bottles! Maybe you slept with my mother, but… but you can't…"

The Wizard approached, looking saddened at my adamant refusal, but I did not feel guilty in the slightest. "Please… listen to what I have to say. I am no wizard, and I'm sure you know that. I am merely Oscar Diggs and as I said, my hot air balloon landed here in Oz. I did not plan it, and I had no malicious intent. Elphaba… did you ever wonder why you could read the Grimmerie, or where your magic came from? That book came from my world… it's written in a language called English. You're a child of both these worlds, Elphaba. You have more power than you realize."

I shook my head. "No…" I didn't want to believe him. I didn't want to be the bastard child of this man! Just as Liir was mine… Oz, was my family cursed to remain unfaithful?

"I'm sorry for everything you suffered… I'm sorry for what I did to your mother, but you're my daughter… and I want to make it all up to you."

"You can't… you can't right all the wrongs you've done me."

"Elphaba, please… I can call off the guards. I make this wicked witch business disappear… I can get your sister's shoes back!"

So he knew about those as well… still, if this was all true… what if… what if this meant I could finally have my happy ending with Glinda? Could this allow us to create a life together?

Am I really going to be so gullible as to believe that will ever happen?

No. Not a second time. I straightened up, fixing him with a cold look. "You may be my biological father… but that is all you are. I care not for anything you claim you can give. You did not care enough then to stay… and now, neither will I."

"Elphaba—"

"if you really care for me as you say… you will leave my family and me alone."

The Wizard sighed, looking crushed and defeated. "I wish you'd let me help you."

"You cannot."

Another sigh before he handed the bottle to me, grabbing my wrist before I could pull away. "If you ever change your mind… I'll be waiting."

"Don't hold your breath," was my reply as I pulled away before turning and leaving the ballroom.

I needed to think. My wanderings brought me to the small memorial that had been placed for Nessa, and I sat in front of it, pulling my cloak tighter around myself. "Oh, Nessie… I envy you… you were able to get out," I said with a sigh. "I'm so tired… but there's still so much left to do."

Of course, I expected no response, but just being here was somewhat comforting. Remember, I don't believe in souls, so I'm not saying that Nessa's spirit was present, but there was… something that came over me and it was… soothing, I suppose.

"Elphie?"

I was pulled from my reverie by the soft voice. I heard approaching footsteps and then, a ridiculous dress was kneeling beside me.

"Are you all right?"

"I don't know, Glin…"

"Do… do you want to tell me about it?"

"There's too much to tell… I wouldn't even know where to begin." The realization of just how true this was hit me, and my heart felt heavy enough to just drop out of my chest. From running away from the palace to the Wizard being my father… there was too much in between.

"Elphie…" The blonde took my arm gently and helped me to my feet. "Please… spend one more night with me?"

I nodded. One more night… and then it was out of Munchkinland and back to Kiamo Ko.

* * *

I woke early the next morning, sliding out of bed gently to keep from waking the blonde. I admit, perhaps it wasn't entirely fair for me to leave before Glinda was awake, but I knew that if she saw me, she'd burst into tears and beg me to stay… and I just couldn't. I loved her, yes. Did I ever want to see with someone else? Of course not. Would I betray her? Never. But even so, I could not stay. Not while there was still business to attend to.

"Nnn… Elphie?"

I froze at the sleepy voice. I turned and saw Glinda stirring. I quickly sat beside her, beginning to stroke her hair, something that had always put her to sleep back at Shiz.

"Shh… go back to sleep, my sweet…"

She wrapped her arms around my waist, putting her head in my lap. "Why… dressed?"

"I have to go… I'll be back soon." I leaned down and kissed her before I gently pulled away.

"Mmm… love you…" she said with a sleepy smile before rolling over and readjusting her pillow.

"I love you too…"

After saying goodbye to my father, I took my leave, not sure if I'd ever return to Munchkinland. Maybe I had lied to Glinda… but this was what needed to be done. It was the easiest way to keep from hurting her.

I hadn't been flying for long when a voice drifting on the wind caught my attention.

"Do you think I could ask the Wizard for a heart?"

"I don't see why not."

Hadn't Glinda sent that girl to see the Wizard? I flew down through the branches and landed in a tree, peering down at the owners of the voices. My eyes fell on a man made out of tin, a scarecrow, and… was that her? Was this the Dorothy that Glinda had told me about? I looked down at her feet. Yes. There were Nessa's slippers. I suppose I could have tried a diplomatic approach… but I was tired. I just wanted those shoes. So I made my way to the roof of a nearby cabin and looked down at the group.

"Yes, skip on down the road to the Wizard," I said, startling them. "I see my sister's shoes seem to suit you."

"P-please… I didn't mean to…" the girl said. She didn't look like she knew entirely who I was, but apparently my verdigris already had her intimidated.

"Yes… an accident. Well, I can cause accidents too." I held my hand out, smiling slightly when a fireball formed. Surprised? I learned a few tricks during my solitude at Kiamo Ko. "How about a little fire Scarecrow?"

"Oh, no, don't!" the girl said, while the Scarecrow looked terrified. Wait… those eyes… I paused. Something about those eyes…

"Nnnn… just try to stay out of my way! Just try! I'll make a beehive out of you, Tin Man. And you," I looked at the Scarecrow, "I'll stuff a mattress with you!" Angrily, I threw the fireball at their feet, taking off on my broom while they were distracted.

Damn! Curse it to hell! I had allowed _something_ to stop me… to hold me back. I should have ripped the shoes off that brat's feet! I had a feeling I would regret this moment of weakness later on, but for now, there was nothing more to be done.

I sulked as I continued to fly, and my broom seemed to sense my frustration, for it flew slower than usual. By the time night fell, we were just approaching the lights of the Emerald City. As I looked down at the place I'd had the chance to call home, I felt nothing but hatred. Hatred for the Wizard… Madame Morrible… every last citizen who lived in that wretched city. But while I could not kill every citizen (that seemed a bit excessive), I could no longer bring myself to thinking about killing the Wizard. Damn his sentiments towards me! The only person left now was Morrible.

Yes. I could kill her. After all, she had been the one to start this… and even if it wasn't entirely her fault, I told myself that it was. It would make killing her that much easier. So, under cover of darkness, I flew into the city of emeralds. Morrible would not live to see tomorrow.

Slipping into her bedchambers proved to be rather effortless, and when I saw her sitting in her bed, I felt my rage grow. How could she remain so passive? Did she not see me? Had she suddenly gone blind and deaf? Or was she merely taunting me, just as she had done at Shiz and every other time I'd seen her since.

I decided to give her a whack in the face with my broom. She didn't react in the slightest. I set my jaw angrily. Was this how it was to be? Was I to be denied this simple revenge only because she'd expired in the past twenty-four hours? The idea angered me to no end, and I quickly scanned the room, my eyes falling on the assortment of awards on her mantel. I grabbed the biggest one I could find and with an angry yell, I brought it down on her head. I heard her skull crack and watched blood run down her face slowly. I dropped the weapon into her lap, taking a few steps back. This… this was not satisfying! Damn this woman! I considered tracking down her clockwork thing and disassembling him, but if I was to be caught, I did not want it to be for taking my revenge out on that.

So I left, hoping that flying through the still calm night would help me settle down. Inevitably, my angry adrenaline wore off, and I was left with exhaustion. For fear of falling out of the sky, I decided to allow the broom to land, and once it did, I tucked myself under the exposed roots of a large tree, quickly slipping into sleep.

* * *

"Oh, look, there it is! We've found it!"

The voice woke me and I opened my eyes wearily to find myself looking right at Nessa's shoes. Wha—that brat again? I glared at my broom.

"You brought me back here. We're trying to go home, remember?"

"Let's run!"

"Yes, let's!"

I emerged as the four (four? Hadn't there been three earlier?) started running towards the towering silhouette of the Emerald City. My eyes widened slightly. CRAP! My brain went into overdrive; how could I stop them? My gaze fell on a field of poppies they were in.

Yes. Poppies… poison, yet pleasing to the eye… poppies. Poppies would make them sleep… sleep. I pulled out the Grimmerie and quickly began chanting, not even sure if I had turned to a correct page. It didn't matter; I had to stop them somehow.

"Oh… oh I'm so tired…" I heard Dorothy say.

"You can't sleep now; we're nearly there!"

"Oh, no… I can't… I need to rest."

"A nap doesn't sound half bad actually."

BRR? Even HE was against me? And after all we'd been through! I watched as he and the farm girl collapsed in sleep.

"Help! Help!"

I smiled slightly. Perfect. I quickly mounted my broom and took off, but a thought struck me. Surely Morrible's body had been discovered by now… the city should be ablaze with news of it, as well as rumors. I figured it wouldn't hurt to listen in, so I landed at the west gate before pulling my hood up and entering the city.

Nothing seemed different. No one looked perturbed. Was I to receive nothing for this? Sure, I hadn't killed her, but from the evidence, it would appear as though I had. I wanted these people to believe I had done something so heinous, and I especially wanted the Wizard to believe it. The lack of response almost made me want to tell someone my secret… but who?

I walked into a bar and sat at the counter, having no intention of drinking, but I needed a place to calm myself so I could think. As I looked up, my eyes fell on a familiar face, one I hadn't seen in twenty years. "Avaric, could that be you?" I asked, sliding into the seat beside him.

He looked at me. "Your voice sounds familiar. I know you, don't I?"

"My name was Elphaba."

"Ah yes. The green roommate of Miss Glinda. Where have you been hiding all these years?"

"Here and there… you know they call me a witch now."

"Yes, I'd heard. Shall I buy you a drink."

"Oh, only a small one."

As our drinks arrived, I considered telling Avaric of what I'd done. I wanted someone, _anyone_ to know.

"I heard your sister went under a house. That was your sister, right?"

"Yes. Have you seen this Dorothy?"

"I've only heard in passing that the house carried a passenger."

A pause.

"Do you remember Madame Morrible?"

"Of course. The old hag finally kicked the bucket."

So someone did know she was dead. "That news doesn't seem to be causing a stir here."

"Well, of course not. The Wizard is keeping it under wraps; he doesn't want a panic on his hands."

"It was me."

"Hmm?"

"I did it. I killed her."

Avaric raised an eyebrow. "You two always did seem to have a grudge against the other."

This was not the reaction I had been expecting. Didn't this news warrant more of a reaction? How could he be so calm?

"Yes, well… she deserved it. She used me, you know."

"She used everyone."

"Well, I don't appreciate being made a pawn for anyone."

"Except Glinda."

I paused, looking at him. "And what do you mean by that?"

"It was rather obvious that you and Glinda had an interest in each other. Around her, you always changed into a completely different person."

I stood. "Think what you will. In any case, it is time for me to take my leave."

"Take care, Miss Elphie."

I gave him one last harsh look before I left, heading for the west gate.

"_That's how we laugh the day away in the merry old land of Oz_!"

The singing voices caused me to stop in my tracks. I turned and my rage returned. That brat had made her way here! Curses, curses! That girl always had help! Well, I'd be damned if I let her get any further on the hospitality I had been denied! I mounted my broom and shot into the sky, only pausing when I was high above the city. After muttering a quick spell, I began to fly again, leaving a smoky black trail behind me.

SURRENDER DOROTHY

There. If that didn't scare them, then I had nothing else. I only left upon hearing the screams from below.

"This time to Kiamo Ko, and no more detours!"

* * *

I paced nervously, ignoring Killjoy who, even in his old age, was trying to keep up with me.

"Elphaba, sit. There's nothing more you can do," Nanny said.

"Something is going to happen… I have done all I can to stop that brat, and it doesn't matter!" I knew I was talking to myself more than her. The old woman was deaf anyway.

"Sleep, little Melena, sleep. Things will be better in the morning," Nanny said before she used Chistery to help her stand and hobbled back to her room.

I sighed. It would not be better in the morning. Things were getting worse… and in the back of my mind, dread tugged at a single thought: _I'm never going to see Glinda again._

No. I couldn't think like that. Just because I was here and she was… over there didn't mean that we would never… well… these thoughts were weighing me down! I had to plan… plan my next move. Uhhh… okay. Okay, that brat had most likely made it to the Wizard by now, but I knew that he wasn't capable of any real magic. I also knew that he wasn't the type of man who gave helped without receiving some benefit in the exchange. And he knew about Nessa's shoes… I could only assume that's what he would bargain for… but to what extent? What could he want her to do? She wasn't from Oz… she didn't know anything!

I heard the sound of wings and Chistery was suddenly on my shoulder, scratching his head. I let out a sigh as I headed up to my tower.

"I don't what to do, Chistery… I think I'm losing it," I said, sitting by the window. The Monkey let out a few noises before he put his arms as far around my face as he could in a sort of hug. I smiled sadly, patting him on the head. "You're a good boy, aren't you?"

Killjoy, panting, had managed to get up the stairs and bounded over to me, laying his head in my lap, looking up at me with big eyes. I scratched his head and he tried to lick my hand, but I evaded that by scratching under his chin.

The crows suddenly started cawing, and I looked up to see them in the window, looking out at the path leading to the castle. I moved to where I had my telescope set up and peered through it.

There they were. The four of them, making their way to the castle. I straightened up, not sure how to feel. They… they were coming to me? Why?

_The shoes…?_

"Killjoy, take the pack and greet our guests. Make sure nothing hinders their progress," I said, looking at the dog. He got to his feet before leaving the room and soon enough, they were headed down the path.

"I just saw all the dogs run out. What's going on?" Liir asked, coming into the room.

"Nothing that concerns you. Get out," I said, looking back through the telescope. He instead came to my side, peering out the window. I saw the dogs approaching the group and they paused in fear. The Tin Man took a few steps forward and raised his axe—WHAT WAS HE DOING? I could not stop what was about to happen.

"NO!"

Killjoy went first, the axe cutting right through his skull and splitting it. The others were killed in the same fashion, and I had to turn away.

"What happened?" Liir asked, and he looked through the telescope before I could stop him. "The Tin Man killed the dogs!"

"I know!" Damn my rash thinking! "Go, sting them to death for all I care!" I shouted at the bees. They left the hive and went buzzing towards the group. "What's happening?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to watch again.

"The Scarecrow is taking himself apart and covering them all with straw," Liir replied.

And it was I that moment that I realized who I had thought the Scarecrow to be. "Yero…" I shoved Liir out of the way and peered through the telescope. Sure enough, he had covered the group in straw, and the bees were angrily trying to get in. It was not him… Fiyero was not alive… there would be no salvation for me. I moved away from the telescope, looking down. This was it… my sanity was finally going…

"G-go… bring the girl to me…" I said, my voice shaking as I looked at Chistery. "It's time to end this nonsense."

* * *

The wretched girl bawled all through dinner, and I watched her, quite exasperated.

"Is the dinner not to her liking? Would she have preferred cheese?" Nanny said.

"No, you daft old woman," I said before I stood, my chair scraping across the floor. I'd wasted enough time trying to be nice. It was time to take action. "Come with me," I said, grabbing the girl's wrist and dragging her from the table. I pushed her up the stairs ahead of me, ignoring the protests of Liir (he'd fallen in love with Dorothy at first sight), and locking her in the tower with me.

"Please… I didn't mean to kill your sister! I just want to go home to my Auntie Em!"

"Yes, it was all an accident, wasn't it?" A sigh. I knew the feeling of just wanting to go home… "Look… I just want what's rightfully mine!"

"I would give them to you if you could! But they're stuck to my feet, see?" She scraped the toe of one against the heel of the other, as if to prove her point, but the action only made me cringe.

"I'll take them myself!" I knelt down and reached for the shoes, only to have my hands burn the second I touched them. I let out a cry, jumping back. "You wretched girl!"

"I'm sorry!" She was crying now, and I advanced on her. She backed up, knocking the tree joint over and crushing the queen bee.

"You kill everything you touch!" I shouted, thinking of Killjoy rotting out there. The bees and crows I could live without, but Killjoy had been my special pet… and now he was dead. I heard running footsteps and realized that while I had been musing over my dead dog, Dorothy had fled. I let out a growl and started after her, grabbing a torch along the way.

I had had enough of this foolery. Liir and the Lion were going to come up soon, which meant that I did not have much time left to deal with this wretched girl. I chased further up the tower and we emerged on the parapet. I found the girl huddled near the edge, retching on the stones.

"Well, well… ring around the rosie, a pocket full of spears!" Don't ask what that meant… at this point, my mind was all but gone. "Why will you murder me?" I slammed the door behind me and locked it, causing the girl to gasp. "You think your presence has gone unnoticed? You think people haven't been telling stories about you?"

"Please—"

"You think I don't know the Wizard sent you to bring proof that I'm dead?"

"Please I could never—"

"So you admit it!"

"I could never murder anyone!"

"And yet my sister is dead!"

"Please, I didn't come to kill you!"

"You can't be a competent liar, not with that face!"

"I'm telling the truth! I came to ask you… what I wanted to ask is…"

"What?" I cried, on the edge of her sanity.

"If you could ever forgive me for killing your sister, because I never could!"

I let out a shriek of panic and disbelief. Even now, after all this time… Elphaba, who had endured Sarima's refusal of forgiveness, was now being begged by this wretched girl for that very thing! How could one give it from their own hollowness?

A small drop of lit oil fell from the torch and onto the edge of my cloak, immediately sending it up in flames.

"Oh will this nightmare never end?" Dorothy said. She grabbed a bucket of rainwater that had become illuminated by the sudden flare, and she hurled the water at me.

My eyes widened at the sight and time seemed to slow. I could feel the heat of the flames as it ate up my cloak, the flames dancing as they had in our fireplace at Shiz…

"_Do you mind if I sit here?"_

"_You cast a shadow if you sit just there."_

"_Oh sorry. Mustn't cast shadows when urgent words are waiting to be read."_

Shiz… so far away... I could see the crest of the water as it left the bucket and came towards me.

"_Perhaps we'll go out in a boat and it'll TIP OVER and you'll drown!"_

My mother… Melena… I realized that I had started to follow the same downward spiral my mother had. Even my father had seen his wife in his oldest daughter… perhaps it was better that he never knew I had killed her.

"_I'll be back soon… I promise."_

Glinda… my sweet, precious Glinda… I'm so sorry… you were the only thing worth living for in this cruel world… I love you… I love you more than this life or any other that may exist…

"I will save you!"

A blinding flash of pain before the nothingness.


	35. Entry 35

Bubble travel isn't as fast as you'd think. After realizing what Elphaba meant to do, I made my way quickly to Kiamo Ko, pausing only to wake that girl and her friends up when I saw them asleep in the poppy field. I knew I had made a mistake, giving those shoes to the girl who killed Nessa, but could I be blamed? I was a saint; I had to watch out for people! Still… those shoes belonged to my Elphie… and I didn't want her to be upset with me.

When I reached the castle, I made my way up through the silent halls, running into the girl, Dorothy.

"Oh, Glinda—"

"Now, now, my dear, what are you doing in a place like this?" I asked with a sickly sweet smile. "This won't help you get home, oh no."

"But the Wizard—"

"The Wizard does not have the power to send you home… but I do."

"You do?" She seemed to brighten at that.

"Yes… come, I'll show you." I put an arm around her and led her down to where the fish well was, remembering how we'd almost lost Liir.

"Down here?"

"The magic is very powerful. We must be in a place where we are not at risk of harming others." A quick lie… Elphaba had taught me that. "Now, stand right here, and close your eyes. Click your heels together three times and say, 'There's no place like home'."

"There's no place like home…"

I stooped down, grabbing a stone that had fallen loose years ago.

"There's no place like home…"

I approached her silently, raising the stone.

"There's no place like—"

She didn't get to finish. I don't know how many times I hit her… until she stopped moving, I suppose. Flecks of the girl's blood decorated my dress... it was ruined, I knew that much. But I had them... I pulled the slippers from her feet and held the blood-ruby trophies close as I started back up the stairs.

"Elphie?" I called. I continued up to the tower, but she wasn't here either. She must have been hiding on the roof. "Elphie, I got them... I got Nessa's shoes back. Now we can be happy..." I emerged onto the parapet and looked around. My heart dropped when my eyes fell on the familiar black hat on top of a black cloak. "Elphie?" I knelt beside the articles of clothing, my eyes filling with tears. "No… Elphaba…" I dropped the slippers as I raised my shaking hands to my face. "My Elphie… my poor sweet Elphie…"

And that's when I found this. The diary Elphaba had kept since her days at Shiz. Reading her thoughts… everything she'd been through… it made me miss her that much more… but I refused to let her die. So, I have taken this for my own. No one is going to steal my Elphie away from me… not even in death.

I told no one of my crime… and the girl was forgotten. I did not wear Nessa's slippers, but I kept them with me… along with the cloak and the hat. I was the only one left standing… some might say that I won.

Without Elphaba, I had won nothing but a lonely life of misery.

* * *

I watched Liir grow up… I learned he'd had a daughter himself. I never saw her, but I heard she was a shade of green as well. I knew that shouldn't anger me, but it did. It was as if I were being taunted; only my Elphie should be green.

I grew older. I soon needed glasses myself. I apologize Elphaba for any joke I ever made behind your back about wearing these. And then I was put under house arrest, and then actually arrested and incarcerated, but it didn't matter to me. As I lay in that stone room, my aging immune system grew weak, and soon enough, the inevitable sickness came. To me, it was like welcoming an old friend because soon enough, I'd be with my Elphie again.

* * *

In my cell, I woke up with a start. The lumbago was more punishing than the incarceration, but a sense of spring had filtered all the way down the open canyon roof of Southstairs, and I caught a whiff of freshness, of arrogant possibility. My glasses had broken a year ago. I didn't need them anymore, not really. I knew who was turning the door handle of my cell. I called her name sleepily, and added, "You wicked thing. You've taken your own sweet time, of course."


	36. Entry 36

Surprised to see me again? Yes… well, imagine if you walked through a wall of flames. Would it kill you? No. Would you be left with horrible, awful burns? Yes. That's what happened to me. The brat burned most of skin off, and I spent years recovering. I had to teach myself how to speak and use my limbs all over again. But I did fully recover, and when I did, I went back to my old spying techniques, this time hunting down a certain blonde witch.

I did find eventually find her, down in a lonely cell.

"You wicked thing. You've taken your own sweet time, of course."

I smiled slightly, approaching her. "I meant to come sooner…"

"Yes… dying can certainly slow a person down."

I reached down to gently brush a strand of hair from her face, frowning when I felt her heated forehead. Glinda was sick… and she would have been left down here to die. I picked her up gently.

"Come, my sweet. It is time for us to take our leave."

* * *

In a field of poppies, I looked down at the blonde witch in my arms. "Glinda… wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around. "Elphie… it's beautiful."

"Yes… it really is…"

Glinda looked back at me, stifling a cough in her hand. "Elphie… I love you… but I'm sick, and—"

"Hush, my sweet." I knew Glinda was sick. I also knew that she wouldn't get better, and I was clinging to a sort of life myself. I could not live another second without her… not like this.

I set her down on the blanket I'd laid out before sitting beside her. "We have done what was required of us… now it's time to move on."

Glinda nodded in agreement. "Elphie… I'm so sleepy."

I pulled her close, her head resting on my chest. "I love you, Glinda… and I always will."

"Love you too Elphie…"

I gently lay down, still holding Glinda close. A breeze passed by, making the poppies dance. Poisoning the poppies was no different than when I had done it to Dorothy… just a change of spells, really. I kissed Glinda one last time before I closed my eyes.

* * *

Do witches really die? Or do they simply hide away somewhere and wait to reemerge? Well, that's what I had always done, wasn't it?

We would always reemerge.


End file.
